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In some countries, more and more people are becoming more interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming more interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in.
What are the reasons for this?
How can people research this?

It is true that in most of countries saw an increasing in the number of people becoming more interested in acquiring knowledge about the history of where they lived. While there are many explaination for this phenomenon, we can easily find out information of place where we lived in this information era.
There are various reasons why many people are turning fascinated to the history of the house they live in. Firstly, human tend to curious about something that is strange to us. Finding out about the background of the house gives people a sense of self-satisfaction. Thus, exploring this kind of information can give us some interesting facts. Moreover, knowing about the origin and construction of the house convey much information about the safety and the duration. Therefore, we can predict some problem associated with the house to prepare measures for it.
When the technology improves a lot nowadays, people find it easily exploring the history of their houses. We can take picture of all the room in our house then we can upload in a community related to history house. There would be the expert or tutor help you about this. All you need is just a phone with connection to the Internet, no need fees for inviting tutor to your house.
In conclusion, people’s motivations to learn about their houses range from the safety reasons to simple curiosity. To get the best information they can browse the Internet.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

  1. "in most of countries saw an increasing" -> "in most countries, there has been an increase"
    Explanation: Replacing "in most of countries saw an increasing" with "in most countries, there has been an increase" eliminates grammatical errors and enhances clarity, adhering to a more formal and precise structure.

  2. "we can easily find out information of place where we lived" -> "we can readily access information about the place where we live"
    Explanation: Substituting "we can easily find out information of place where we lived" with "we can readily access information about the place where we live" maintains clarity and introduces a more formal and sophisticated expression.

  3. "There are various reasons why many people are turning fascinated" -> "There are various reasons why many people are becoming fascinated"
    Explanation: Changing "turning fascinated" to "becoming fascinated" corrects the grammatical structure and aligns with a more formal and academically appropriate style.

  4. "human tend to curious about something" -> "humans tend to be curious about something"
    Explanation: Adjusting "human tend to curious about something" to "humans tend to be curious about something" corrects the grammatical structure and improves formality.

  5. "gives people a sense of self-satisfaction" -> "provides individuals with a sense of self-satisfaction"
    Explanation: Replacing "gives people a sense of self-satisfaction" with "provides individuals with a sense of self-satisfaction" enhances formality and precision.

  6. "exploring this kind of information can give us some interesting facts" -> "exploring such information can yield interesting facts"
    Explanation: Changing "exploring this kind of information can give us some interesting facts" to "exploring such information can yield interesting facts" improves conciseness and sophistication.

  7. "knowing about the origin and construction of the house convey much information" -> "knowing about the origin and construction of the house conveys a wealth of information"
    Explanation: Modifying "knowing about the origin and construction of the house convey much information" to "knowing about the origin and construction of the house conveys a wealth of information" enhances formality and provides a more precise description.

  8. "When the technology improves a lot nowadays" -> "With the advancement of technology nowadays"
    Explanation: Changing "When the technology improves a lot nowadays" to "With the advancement of technology nowadays" offers a more formal and concise introduction to the technological context.

  9. "We can take picture of all the room in our house" -> "We can take pictures of all the rooms in our house"
    Explanation: Adjusting "We can take picture of all the room in our house" to "We can take pictures of all the rooms in our house" corrects grammatical errors and improves clarity.

  10. "inviting tutor to your house" -> "inviting a tutor to your house"
    Explanation: Adding an article ("a") in "inviting tutor to your house" to make it "inviting a tutor to your house" corrects the grammatical structure, aligning with formal language norms.

  11. "To get the best information they can browse the Internet." -> "To obtain the most reliable information, individuals can explore the Internet."
    Explanation: Replacing "To get the best information they can browse the Internet." with "To obtain the most reliable information, individuals can explore the Internet." maintains clarity and uses a more sophisticated expression.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay partially addresses all parts of the question. While it discusses the reasons for people’s interest in the history of their houses and how they can research it, the response lacks depth and specificity. It could benefit from exploring various aspects, such as cultural or emotional connections to one’s home.
    • How to improve: To improve, consider providing more specific examples or elaborating on the reasons for this growing interest. Additionally, ensure that each part of the prompt is thoroughly addressed to enhance the completeness of the response.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a somewhat clear position throughout, stating that people are interested in the history of their houses due to curiosity and safety concerns. However, the position could be more explicitly stated in the introduction and conclusion for emphasis.
    • How to improve: To enhance clarity, explicitly state the main position in the introduction and reiterate it in the conclusion. This will reinforce the essay’s stance and make it more cohesive.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas but lacks depth and development. For instance, the explanation of curiosity and safety reasons is rather brief. To improve, extend each idea by providing specific examples or anecdotes to support the arguments.
    • How to improve: Elaborate on each point by incorporating relevant examples or details. This will add depth to the essay and make the arguments more convincing.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay mostly stays on topic but occasionally deviates, such as the brief mention of taking pictures of rooms. While this is related to technology, it slightly veers off from the main focus on reasons for interest in house history.
    • How to improve: Stay focused on the main topic and avoid introducing tangential points. If mentioning technology, connect it more explicitly to the reasons for people’s interest in house history to maintain relevance.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates an understanding of the prompt, there is room for improvement in providing more in-depth explanations, extending ideas, maintaining focus, and explicitly stating the essay’s position.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a generally logical organization. The introduction provides a brief overview, and the body paragraphs follow a clear structure, addressing reasons and methods for researching house history. However, some sentence structures could be refined for smoother transitions between ideas. For instance, the transition from the first to the second paragraph could be more seamless.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical flow, ensure smoother transitions between paragraphs. Use linking words or phrases to connect ideas more coherently. Additionally, consider refining the introduction for a more engaging and precise presentation of the essay’s purpose.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay employs paragraphs adequately, with each focusing on a specific aspect of the topic. However, the structure within paragraphs could be improved. Some paragraphs contain multiple ideas, making it challenging for readers to follow the argument effectively.
    • How to improve: Enhance paragraph structure by focusing on one main idea per paragraph. Clearly present the topic sentence at the beginning of each paragraph and ensure that supporting sentences logically follow. This will contribute to a more organized and reader-friendly essay.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay uses cohesive devices, such as "Moreover" and "Therefore," to connect ideas. However, the range of cohesive devices could be expanded for a more varied and sophisticated expression of ideas. Additionally, some sentences lack smooth transitions, impacting the overall coherence.
    • How to improve: Increase the variety of cohesive devices used, incorporating a mix of conjunctions, transitional phrases, and pronouns. This will create a more nuanced and connected discourse. Ensure that transitions between sentences are seamless to enhance overall coherence.

In summary, the essay demonstrates a commendable level of coherence and cohesion, earning a band score of 7. To improve, focus on refining transitions between ideas for a smoother flow, structuring paragraphs with a single main idea, and diversifying the use of cohesive devices for a more sophisticated expression of connections between thoughts.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary. While the writer attempts to use varied words, there is room for improvement. For instance, the repeated use of "house" could be diversified by incorporating synonyms like "residence," "dwelling," or "abode." Additionally, the phrase "there are many explaination for this phenomenon" lacks precision and could benefit from a more specific choice of words.
    • How to improve: To enhance the lexical range, consider using synonyms and more specific terms. For example, instead of repeatedly using "house," incorporate alternative words like "residence" or "dwelling." In the statement about reasons for the phenomenon, choose more precise language, such as "there are various factors contributing to this trend."
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay occasionally lacks precision in vocabulary usage. For example, the phrase "human tend to curious" could be more accurately expressed as "humans tend to be curious." Additionally, the sentence "Finding out about the background of the house gives people a sense of self-satisfaction" could benefit from a more precise term than "self-satisfaction."
    • How to improve: Focus on using words with clear meanings and ensure proper grammatical structures. In the mentioned sentence, consider using a more precise term like "fulfillment" instead of "self-satisfaction." Pay attention to grammatical accuracy, ensuring subjects and verbs are appropriately paired, such as "humans tend to be curious."
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits some spelling errors, such as "explaination" instead of "explanation" and "tend" instead of "tend to." While these errors do not significantly impede understanding, they affect the overall impression of language proficiency.
    • How to improve: Carefully proofread the essay to identify and correct spelling errors. Consider using spelling and grammar checking tools to enhance accuracy. Pay particular attention to commonly misspelled words, such as "explanation" and "tend to," to improve overall spelling precision.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay displays a limited range of sentence structures. Most sentences are simple, with a straightforward subject-verb-object construction. There is a lack of variety in sentence types, such as compound or complex sentences, which could enhance the overall quality of the writing. For example, in the third paragraph, all sentences are short and simple.
    • How to improve: To improve the score in this criterion, the writer should aim to incorporate a more diverse range of sentence structures. Introduce complex sentences, utilize compound structures, and experiment with different sentence lengths to create a more engaging and sophisticated essay.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a noticeable number of grammatical errors and punctuation inaccuracies. For instance, there are errors in subject-verb agreement, such as "countries saw" (countries have seen) in the opening sentence. Additionally, there are punctuation issues, like missing commas in the third paragraph, impacting the clarity of the message.
    • How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, the writer should review basic grammar rules, paying attention to subject-verb agreement and sentence structure. Proofreading for punctuation errors, including missing commas and correct use of periods, will contribute to improved clarity. Seeking feedback from peers or using grammar-check tools can also be beneficial.

In summary, while the essay addresses the prompt adequately and conveys some relevant ideas, improvements in sentence structure variety and grammatical accuracy are crucial for achieving a higher band score. Incorporating a wider range of sentence structures and refining grammar and punctuation skills will contribute to a more polished and effective piece of writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

It is evident that in most countries, there has been an increase in people’s curiosity about the history of their homes. While there are various reasons for this growing interest, we can readily access information about the place where we live in this information era.

There are various reasons why many people are becoming fascinated by the history of their homes. Firstly, humans tend to be curious about something unfamiliar. Discovering the background of a house provides individuals with a sense of self-satisfaction. Exploring such information can yield interesting facts. Moreover, knowing about the origin and construction of the house conveys a wealth of information about safety and durability. Therefore, individuals can anticipate and prepare for potential issues associated with their homes.

With the advancement of technology nowadays, exploring the history of houses has become more accessible. We can take pictures of all the rooms in our house and share them in a community dedicated to historical homes. There, experts or tutors can assist with valuable insights. All you need is a phone with an internet connection; there’s no need for fees when inviting a tutor to your house.

In conclusion, people’s motivations to learn about their houses range from safety concerns to simple curiosity. To obtain the most reliable information, individuals can explore the Internet.

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