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In some countries, more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this question?

In some countries, more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this question?

In some regions, more people are becoming to like finding out about the history of the places where they live in. In this essay, I will discuss the reasons for this and how people can research this question.

Firstly, people want to know about the house or building they in in because they are curious. For example, when people hear some story from friends about the building and they like the story, they will want to know the truth behind the it and this makes them to learn about their building. Another reason, people have strong patriotism, learning about the history of the building makes them feel pround of their countrys.

To research about the history of a building, there are several ways. The fastest and easiest way is to search on the internet. Just by a click and the information about the building will appear. However, the information appeared may be incorrect, so the researchers have to choose the right information. Another way is to ask people living in the neighborhoods. Because they live in the resident for a long time, they may know some storys that the internet does not have. So ask them for information may be a smart to learn about the history of the building.

In conclusion, people want to know about the history of of their building because they are curious or they have strong patriotism. To research for the history, they should search on the internet or ask the people in the neighborhoods.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

  1. "becoming to like" -> "becoming interested in"
    Explanation: Replacing "becoming to like" with "becoming interested in" conveys a more formal tone and avoids the informal use of "like."

  2. "I will discuss the reasons for this and how people can research this question." -> "I will explore the reasons behind this trend and methods for researching it."
    Explanation: Using "explore" instead of "discuss" adds a more sophisticated touch to the language. Additionally, replacing "this" with "it" enhances clarity and avoids repetition.

  3. "they in in" -> "they live in"
    Explanation: Correcting the repeated "in" to "live in" ensures grammatical accuracy and clarity in the sentence.

  4. "they will want to know the truth behind the it" -> "they will want to uncover the truth behind it"
    Explanation: Substituting "know" with "uncover" and removing the unnecessary "the" before "it" improves the flow and formality of the sentence.

  5. "makes them to learn" -> "prompts them to learn"
    Explanation: Replacing "makes them to learn" with "prompts them to learn" adds a more precise and formal expression.

  6. "people have strong patriotism" -> "individuals possess a strong sense of patriotism"
    Explanation: Using "individuals possess a strong sense of patriotism" instead of "people have strong patriotism" employs a more formal and specific expression.

  7. "feeling pround of their countrys" -> "feeling proud of their countries"
    Explanation: Correcting the spelling error in "pround" to "proud" and changing "countrys" to "countries" ensures grammatical accuracy and clarity.

  8. "research this question" -> "investigate this matter"
    Explanation: Substituting "research this question" with "investigate this matter" adds a more formal and academic tone.

  9. "the house or building they in in" -> "the house or building they live in"
    Explanation: Correcting the repeated "in" to "live in" ensures grammatical accuracy and clarity in the sentence.

  10. "truth behind the it" -> "truth behind it"
    Explanation: Removing the unnecessary article "the" before "it" improves the sentence’s flow and correctness.

  11. "may be incorrect" -> "might be inaccurate"
    Explanation: Replacing "may be incorrect" with "might be inaccurate" offers a more precise and formal alternative.

  12. "storys" -> "stories"
    Explanation: Correcting the spelling error in "storys" to "stories" ensures grammatical accuracy.

  13. "resident" -> "residence"
    Explanation: Replacing "resident" with "residence" adds a more formal and appropriate term in the context of living in a particular place.

  14. "search on the internet" -> "conduct online research"
    Explanation: Substituting "search on the internet" with "conduct online research" adds a more formal and academic expression.

  15. "ask them for information may be a smart" -> "seeking information from them may be a wise"
    Explanation: Changing "ask them for information may be a smart" to "seeking information from them may be a wise" provides a more sophisticated and formal phrasing.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Task Response: 6

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to address both parts of the question but falls short in providing a comprehensive analysis. While it mentions reasons for people wanting to know about the history of their houses, the explanation is somewhat limited. Additionally, the strategies for researching this question are briefly touched upon but lack depth.
    • How to improve: To enhance the response, provide more detailed explanations for why people are interested in house history, citing specific examples. Furthermore, elaborate on the research methods by providing more nuanced insights into internet searches and interviewing neighbors.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a generally clear position throughout, stating that people want to know about their house history due to curiosity or patriotism. However, the expression of these ideas could be more precise, and the overall stance could be strengthened.
    • How to improve: Refine the thesis statement to clearly articulate the reasons for interest in house history, and ensure that subsequent paragraphs consistently align with and support this position. Use more specific examples to bolster the argument.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: Ideas are presented but lack in-depth development and support. The examples provided are somewhat generic and could benefit from more elaboration. Additionally, the connection between patriotism and learning about the history of a building needs further exploration.
    • How to improve: Expand on each point with specific details and examples, making the narrative more engaging and convincing. Clarify the link between patriotism and house history, providing concrete instances where this connection is evident.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic but includes some minor deviations and instances of repetition. There are points where the explanation becomes slightly unclear or veers off the central theme.
    • How to improve: Ensure that each paragraph directly contributes to answering the essay prompt. Review and revise content to eliminate repetition and maintain a clear focus on the reasons for interest in house history and methods of research.

In conclusion, while the essay demonstrates an understanding of the prompt, it can be significantly improved by providing more detailed and focused responses. Strengthening the clarity of the thesis, developing ideas with more specific examples, and refining language use will contribute to an overall enhancement of the essay.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay shows a reasonable level of logical organization. It follows a conventional introduction, body, and conclusion structure. However, within paragraphs, there is room for improvement in the sequencing of ideas. For instance, the transition between discussing reasons for people wanting to know about the history of their houses and ways to research is somewhat abrupt. A smoother flow can be achieved by providing a clear transition sentence or using linking words to guide the reader through the progression of ideas.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider incorporating transition words or phrases at the beginning of each paragraph. Additionally, ensure that there is a clear and natural flow between ideas. For instance, after discussing reasons, provide a sentence that signals the shift to discussing research methods.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay employs paragraphs, but the structure within them can be improved for better coherence. There are instances where a new idea is introduced within the same paragraph without a clear break, making it challenging for the reader to distinguish between different points. A more effective use of paragraphs involves each one focusing on a specific aspect or supporting point.
    • How to improve: Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and follows a unified theme. When transitioning to a new point, start a new paragraph to avoid confusion. This will contribute to a more organized and reader-friendly essay structure.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay does use some cohesive devices, such as ‘Firstly’ and ‘Another reason,’ but there is room for improvement. The variety of cohesive devices can be expanded to include a wider range of linking words, transitional phrases, and pronouns. This will create a smoother and more connected flow between sentences and paragraphs.
    • How to improve: Diversify the use of cohesive devices by incorporating a range of linking words such as ‘Moreover,’ ‘Furthermore,’ ‘In addition,’ etc. Additionally, use pronouns to refer back to previously mentioned ideas for coherence. This will contribute to a more polished and cohesive essay.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a satisfactory level of coherence and cohesion, improvements in logical organization, paragraph structure, and the use of cohesive devices can elevate its overall effectiveness. Ensure a smoother transition between ideas, employ clear topic sentences for paragraphs, and diversify the range of cohesive devices for a more refined essay structure.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary. There is an attempt to use varied words and phrases, such as "curious," "patriotism," "residents," and "history." However, some repetition is noticeable, for instance, the repeated use of "building" and "history." Additionally, there is a lack of more sophisticated vocabulary that could enhance the lexical variety.
    • How to improve: To improve the use of a wide range of vocabulary, consider incorporating more diverse and sophisticated words. Use synonyms for repetitive terms, and strive for precision in word choice. For example, instead of repeatedly using "building," try alternatives like "dwelling," "structure," or "edifice." Introduce more nuanced terms related to history and curiosity to elevate the lexical richness.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay occasionally uses vocabulary with precision, as seen in phrases like "feel proud of their country." However, imprecise word choices are present, such as "they are curious" and "they want to know the truth behind it," which lack specificity.
    • How to improve: Work on enhancing precision by choosing words that accurately convey the intended meaning. Instead of using broad terms like "curious," specify the nature of curiosity. For example, "intrigued," "inquisitive," or "fascinated" could add depth to the expression. Provide more detailed explanations, avoiding vague phrases like "know the truth behind it" by specifying the kind of information or knowledge sought.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a fair level of spelling accuracy, but there are notable errors, such as "countrys" (should be "country’s") and "storys" (should be "stories"). These errors, while not pervasive, impact the overall impression of language proficiency.
    • How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, proofread the essay carefully, paying close attention to common pitfalls like possessive forms and plurals. Consider using spelling and grammar check tools to catch and correct errors. Developing a habit of revising written work systematically can significantly improve spelling precision.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a limited range of sentence structures. Most sentences follow a simple structure, and there is a lack of complex and compound sentences. For instance, the repeated use of straightforward sentences such as "People want to know about the house or building they live in because they are curious" indicates a lack of variety in sentence structures.
    • How to improve: To enhance the essay’s grammatical range and effectiveness, consider incorporating a variety of sentence structures. Introduce complex sentences, use different types of clauses, and experiment with sentence length to add sophistication to the writing. For example, instead of relying on simple sentences, try combining ideas using subordinate clauses and transition words.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay displays some grammatical inaccuracies and punctuation errors. One notable instance is in the sentence, "For example, when people hear some story from friends about the building and they like the story, they will want to know the truth behind the it," where "behind the it" is grammatically incorrect. Additionally, there are punctuation issues, such as missing commas in sentences like "Another reason, people have strong patriotism."
    • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, pay careful attention to subject-verb agreement and sentence structure. Review the use of pronouns and ensure they agree in number and gender. Regarding punctuation, revise sentences to include necessary commas, periods, and other punctuation marks. Consider proofreading the essay thoroughly to catch and correct such errors. It may also be beneficial to seek feedback from peers or utilize grammar-checking tools to enhance accuracy.

In conclusion, while the essay successfully addresses the prompt, improvements in sentence structure variety and grammatical accuracy can elevate the overall quality of the writing. Incorporating diverse sentence structures and refining grammar and punctuation will contribute to a more polished and effective response.

Bài sửa mẫu

In some regions, an increasing number of individuals are becoming interested in discovering the history of the places where they reside. In this essay, I will explore the reasons behind this trend and methods for researching it.

Firstly, people develop a curiosity about the house or building they live in. For instance, when individuals hear stories from friends about the building and find these narratives intriguing, they will want to uncover the truth behind them. This prompts them to learn more about the history of their dwelling. Additionally, some individuals possess a strong sense of patriotism, and delving into the history of the building instills a sense of pride in their country.

To investigate this matter, there are several ways. The fastest and easiest method involves conducting online research. With just a click, information about the building will appear. However, caution is needed, as the information might be inaccurate, requiring researchers to carefully choose reliable sources. Another effective approach is seeking information from those living in the neighborhoods. Since they have resided in the area for an extended period, they may hold stories that are not available on the internet. Therefore, seeking information from them may be a wise strategy to learn about the history of the building.

In conclusion, the growing interest in discovering the history of one’s dwelling is fueled by curiosity or a strong sense of patriotism. To research this history, individuals should conduct online research, ensuring the reliability of the information, and consider asking people in the neighborhoods for additional insights.

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