In some societies more and more people are choosing to live on their own. What do you think are the reasons for this solutions?

In some societies more and more people are choosing to live on their own. What do you think are the reasons for this solutions?

In recent decades, a notable shift has emerged in societal living arrangements: an increasing number of individuals are opting to live alone. Loneliness can give happiness to them, but sometimes, it will affect their social life so they feel sad and empty. This essay will look at the main causes of the problem, and propose some solutions.
One significant reason is the economic conditions also play an important role in the decision to live alone. In many urban areas, high living standards and high housing costs have made it difficult for just one person to afford to rent or buy an apartment or house. The solution is for the government to invest in affordable housing projects and encourage mixed-income developments to provide more options for those living alone.
Another reason is the evolution of relationships that also contributes to this trend. With the explosion of technology and social media, people use messaging apps instead of face-to-face meetings, which can reduce the opportunities for face-to-face interactions, leading to a decrease in bonding and mutual understanding, which sometimes reduces the need for living together. To tackle this issue, encourage participation in clubs and groups or create co-working spaces that foster collaboration
In conclusion,

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

1. "In recent decades" -> "In recent years"
   Explanation: "In recent years" is a more precise temporal reference, aligning better with the context of a recent trend in societal living arrangements.

2. "a notable shift has emerged" -> "a significant shift has occurred"
   Explanation: "Occurred" is more formal and precise than "emerged," which can be seen as slightly less formal and less specific in academic writing.

3. "can give happiness to them" -> "can bring happiness to them"
   Explanation: "Bring" is more commonly used in formal English to indicate the causative effect of an action, making it more suitable for academic writing than "give," which is less direct and less formal.

4. "but sometimes, it will affect their social life so they feel sad and empty" -> "but occasionally, it may negatively impact their social lives, leading to feelings of sadness and emptiness"
   Explanation: "Occasionally" is more precise than "sometimes," and "may negatively impact" is more formal and specific than "will affect." Additionally, "leading to feelings of sadness and emptiness" is more formal and precise than "so they feel sad and empty."

5. "One significant reason is the economic conditions also play an important role" -> "One significant factor is economic conditions, which also play a crucial role"
   Explanation: "Factor" is more specific and academic than "reason," and "crucial" is more formal than "important." Also, the use of "which" improves the sentence structure and clarity.

6. "high living standards and high housing costs" -> "high living costs and housing prices"
   Explanation: "Living costs" is a more precise term than "living standards," which can be vague and contextually unclear. "Housing prices" is also more specific than "housing costs," which can encompass a broader range of expenses.

7. "The solution is for the government to invest" -> "A potential solution is for the government to invest"
   Explanation: Adding "potential" before "solution" acknowledges that this is one possible solution, which is more cautious and academically appropriate than stating it as the definitive solution.

8. "encourage participation in clubs and groups or create co-working spaces" -> "promote participation in clubs and groups or establish co-working spaces"
   Explanation: "Promote" and "establish" are more formal and precise than "encourage" and "create," respectively, fitting better in an academic context.

9. "In conclusion," -> "In summary"
   Explanation: "In summary" is a more formal and academic way to conclude an essay, compared to "In conclusion," which can be seen as slightly informal and less precise.

These changes enhance the formality, precision, and clarity of the essay, aligning it more closely with academic writing standards.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD

• Answer All Parts of the Question:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to address the prompt by discussing reasons why people choose to live alone and proposing solutions. However, it does not fully answer the question as it misinterprets "solutions" to mean "responses to the trend" rather than addressing the reasons for the trend itself. The phrase "look at the main causes of the problem, and propose some solutions" indicates a misunderstanding of the task, as the prompt asks for reasons rather than solutions.
  • How to improve: To improve, the essay should focus on clearly identifying and explaining the reasons for the trend of living alone, rather than suggesting solutions. Each reason should be explicitly linked back to the question, ensuring that all parts of the prompt are thoroughly addressed.

• Present a Clear Position Throughout:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay lacks a clear and consistent position. While it mentions that loneliness can bring happiness, it does not elaborate on this idea or how it relates to the decision to live alone. The introduction hints at an exploration of both positive and negative aspects, but it fails to maintain a focused argument throughout the essay.
  • How to improve: To present a clearer position, the writer should establish a definitive viewpoint in the introduction and consistently refer back to this stance in each paragraph. This could involve choosing to focus on either the positive or negative aspects of living alone and developing that argument throughout the essay.

• Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

  • Detailed explanation: The ideas presented in the essay are somewhat underdeveloped. For instance, the economic conditions are mentioned as a reason for living alone, but the explanation is brief and lacks depth. The second reason regarding technology and relationships is introduced but not sufficiently explored or supported with examples or data.
  • How to improve: To enhance the presentation and support of ideas, the writer should aim to elaborate on each point made. This could involve providing specific examples, statistics, or anecdotes that illustrate the reasons for living alone. Each paragraph should ideally contain a topic sentence, supporting details, and a concluding sentence that ties back to the main argument.

• Stay on Topic:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, discussing reasons for living alone. However, the introduction’s mention of "happiness" and "sadness" introduces an emotional aspect that is not explored in the body paragraphs, leading to a slight deviation from the main focus of the essay.
  • How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that every sentence contributes to answering the prompt. Avoid introducing new themes or emotions that are not directly relevant to the reasons for living alone. Each paragraph should clearly relate back to the main question, reinforcing the central argument.

In summary, to improve the essay’s score, the writer should ensure a comprehensive response to the prompt, maintain a clear position, develop and support ideas more thoroughly, and stay focused on the topic throughout. Additionally, paying attention to the word count and ensuring that it meets the minimum requirement will also help in achieving a higher band score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

• Organize Information Logically:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear introduction that outlines the topic and states the intention to discuss causes and solutions. However, the logical flow between ideas could be improved. For instance, the transition from discussing economic conditions to the evolution of relationships feels abrupt. The reader may struggle to see how these two points are interconnected, which can disrupt the overall coherence of the argument.
  • How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using transitional phrases that explicitly connect the two main ideas. For example, after discussing economic conditions, you could introduce the next paragraph with a sentence like, "In addition to economic factors, social dynamics also play a crucial role in this trend." This would help create a smoother transition and reinforce the relationship between the points being made.

• Use Paragraphs:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively to separate different ideas, which is a strength. Each paragraph addresses a distinct reason for the trend of living alone, followed by proposed solutions. However, the conclusion is incomplete, which detracts from the overall effectiveness of the essay. A strong conclusion is essential for summarizing the main points and reinforcing the argument.
  • How to improve: Ensure that the conclusion is fully developed. It should summarize the main arguments presented in the body paragraphs and restate the significance of the issue. A well-crafted conclusion not only wraps up the essay but also leaves a lasting impression on the reader. Consider including a final thought or call to action that emphasizes the importance of addressing the issues discussed.

• Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "also" and "but," to connect ideas within sentences. However, the range of cohesive devices used is somewhat limited, and the effectiveness of these devices varies. For instance, the phrase "which can reduce the opportunities for face-to-face interactions" could be better linked to the preceding idea to clarify the cause-and-effect relationship.
  • How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a broader range of linking words and phrases. For example, use "furthermore," "moreover," or "consequently" to enhance the connections between ideas. Additionally, consider using pronouns or synonyms to avoid repetition and maintain cohesion throughout the essay. This will help create a more fluid reading experience and strengthen the overall coherence of your argument.

By addressing these areas for improvement, the essay can achieve a higher level of coherence and cohesion, ultimately enhancing the clarity and effectiveness of the argument presented.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

• Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, including terms like "notable shift," "economic conditions," and "mixed-income developments." However, the vocabulary is somewhat repetitive, particularly in phrases like "living alone" and "face-to-face interactions." This repetition limits the overall lexical variety and sophistication expected at a higher band score.
  • How to improve: To enhance lexical variety, the writer could incorporate synonyms or related terms. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "living alone," alternatives like "solitary living" or "independent living" could be employed. Additionally, varying sentence structures and using more complex vocabulary related to social issues could improve the overall richness of the language.

• Use Vocabulary Precisely:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay contains instances of imprecise vocabulary usage, such as "Loneliness can give happiness to them," which is confusing and does not accurately convey the intended meaning. The phrase suggests that loneliness can lead to happiness, which contradicts common understanding and may confuse readers.
  • How to improve: The writer should focus on clarity and precision in vocabulary. For example, instead of saying "Loneliness can give happiness to them," a more precise statement could be, "While some individuals may find solitude fulfilling, others may experience feelings of loneliness and sadness." This adjustment would clarify the intended meaning and enhance the overall coherence of the argument.

• Use Correct Spelling:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally demonstrates good spelling, with no major errors that impede understanding. However, there are minor issues, such as the phrase "the main causes of the problem," which could be more accurately framed as "the main causes of this trend" to align with the essay’s focus on living alone rather than framing it as a problem.
  • How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy and overall writing quality, the writer should proofread their work carefully. Utilizing tools like spell checkers or engaging in peer reviews can help identify any overlooked errors. Additionally, familiarizing oneself with commonly misspelled words can further enhance spelling proficiency.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid foundation in lexical resource, there is room for improvement in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling accuracy. By incorporating more varied vocabulary, ensuring precise language use, and maintaining careful attention to spelling, the writer can work towards achieving a higher band score in future essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

• Use a Wide Range of Structures:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For instance, the use of complex sentences is evident in phrases like "With the explosion of technology and social media, people use messaging apps instead of face-to-face meetings," which effectively conveys a cause-and-effect relationship. However, there are instances of repetitive structures, particularly in the way reasons are introduced (e.g., "One significant reason is…" and "Another reason is…"). This pattern can make the writing feel formulaic.
  • How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, the writer could incorporate more introductory phrases or clauses, such as "One contributing factor is…" or "An additional aspect to consider is…". Additionally, varying the length and complexity of sentences can create a more engaging rhythm in the writing. For example, combining shorter sentences into more complex ones or breaking up longer sentences can add dynamism to the prose.

• Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

  • Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid grasp of grammatical structures, but there are some inaccuracies that detract from clarity. For instance, the phrase "Loneliness can give happiness to them" is awkward and unclear; it would be more effective to say "Loneliness can lead to feelings of happiness for some individuals." Additionally, there are punctuation issues, such as the lack of a comma before "also" in "One significant reason is the economic conditions also play an important role," which can confuse readers regarding the sentence’s flow.
  • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on refining awkward phrases and ensuring clarity in expression. Reading the essay aloud can help identify areas where the phrasing may be unclear. Furthermore, reviewing punctuation rules, especially regarding conjunctions and introductory clauses, will enhance the overall readability of the essay. Practicing with grammar exercises focused on common errors can also be beneficial.

In conclusion, while the essay demonstrates a good command of grammatical range and accuracy, focusing on diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical precision will help elevate the writing to a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

In recent decades, a significant shift has occurred in societal living arrangements: an increasing number of individuals are choosing to live alone. While this lifestyle can bring happiness to them, it can occasionally negatively impact their social lives, leading to feelings of sadness and emptiness. This essay will explore the main reasons behind this trend and propose some potential solutions.

One significant factor is the economic conditions, which also play a crucial role in the decision to live alone. In many urban areas, high living costs and housing prices have made it challenging for a single person to afford to rent or buy an apartment or house. A potential solution is for the government to invest in affordable housing projects and encourage mixed-income developments to provide more options for those living independently.

Another reason is the evolution of relationships, which contributes to this trend. With the explosion of technology and social media, people often rely on messaging apps instead of face-to-face meetings. This shift can reduce opportunities for in-person interactions, leading to a decrease in bonding and mutual understanding, which sometimes diminishes the desire to live together. To tackle this issue, it is essential to promote participation in clubs and groups or establish co-working spaces that foster collaboration and connection among individuals.

In summary, while the choice to live alone can bring certain benefits, it is essential to address the underlying economic and social factors that contribute to this trend. By implementing supportive housing policies and encouraging social interactions, we can help individuals find a balance between independence and community engagement.