In the future, all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the disadvantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the advantages?

It is a growing concern that in the future, people will use autonomous transportation such as buses, cars and trucks. This means that there will be no longer drivers inside these vehicles, just passengers. While this development has certain drawbacks, I am convinced that they are eclipsed by the more significant benefits.

Admittedly, there are a variety of disadvantages when it comes to self-driving motors/cars, buses and trucks. The main downside associated with driver-free vehicles is that job displacements will witness a sustainable (substantial) increase in our world. We no longer have to pay any amount of money for drivers’ work because the advent of cruise control will replace the important role of drivers all over the world. By doing this, more and more people will have less income monthly, so they cannot afford to purchase goods as they used to, contributing to manufacturers’ hardship and economic crisis as very few firms can be sold. To illustrate clearly, the fewer individuals can buy foods & beverages or things, the fewer producers that we need, resulting in less profits for enterprises, plants and economy.

On the one hand, besides the demerits above, I suppose that auto-pilot vehicles also bring about numerous merits in the future. First, it gives our lives such high convenience and amenities. The reason for this is because there will more and more driverless automobiles installed in surroundings, making it faster for us to catch or book those vehicles for either personal or public purposes. Additionally, the proportion of accidents will drop significantly. Less people will suffer from risks and injuries by travelling on those vehicles instead of driving themselves because automated systems are coded to be nearly accurate that make sure to have as few incidents as possible. For example, free-driver cars can be the best option for whenever you are drunk, alleviating the likelihood of unwanted accidents.

To summarise, in distant future, despite hazardous efficacy of auto pilot transportation to our lives, the benefits that they attribute to us dominate the drawbacks.

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Errors and Improvements:

"in the future, people will use autonomous transportation such as buses, cars and trucks" -> "in the future, autonomous transportation such as buses, cars, and trucks will become prevalent"
Explanation: "use" is too general and informal in this context. "Prevalent" is a more sophisticated term that aligns with academic style, indicating widespread adoption.
"This means that there will be no longer drivers inside these vehicles, just passengers." -> "This means that these vehicles will operate without drivers, with only passengers on board."
Explanation: "No longer drivers inside" is awkward and not formally correct. "Operate without drivers" is clearer and more precise.
"While this development has certain drawbacks, I am convinced that they are eclipsed by the more significant benefits." -> "Despite certain drawbacks, I am convinced that the benefits outweigh them."
Explanation: "Eclipsed" is a bit poetic and informal for academic writing. "Outweigh" is a more straightforward and appropriate term here.
"The main downside associated with driver-free vehicles is that job displacements will witness a sustainable (substantial) increase in our world." -> "The primary concern regarding driver-free vehicles is the substantial increase in job displacements."
Explanation: "Witness" in this context is overly dramatic. "Concern" is more precise and formal. "Sustainable" is not appropriate here; "substantial" is a better descriptor.
"We no longer have to pay any amount of money for drivers’ work because the advent of cruise control will replace the important role of drivers all over the world." -> "The introduction of cruise control will eliminate the need for human drivers, thereby reducing labor costs associated with driver wages."
Explanation: "Advent" is too informal. "Eliminate" is a clearer and more academic term than "replace the important role of." Clarifies the sentence without emotional language.
"By doing this, more and more people will have less income monthly, so they cannot afford to purchase goods as they used to, contributing to manufacturers’ hardship and economic crisis as very few firms can be sold." -> "As a result, many individuals will experience reduced monthly income, affecting their purchasing power and contributing to economic challenges for manufacturers."
Explanation: "More and more people will have less income monthly" is awkward and unclear. "Reduced monthly income" is more direct. "Firms can be sold" is an awkward phrase; "economic challenges for manufacturers" is clearer.
"To illustrate clearly, the fewer individuals can buy foods & beverages or things, the fewer producers that we need, resulting in less profits for enterprises, plants and economy." -> "For instance, reduced consumer spending on food, beverages, and other goods would lead to decreased demand for producers, resulting in lower profits for enterprises, factories, and the economy."
Explanation: "Foods & beverages or things" is informal and imprecise. "Reduced consumer spending" is clearer and more academic. "Less profits" should be "lower profits."
"besides the demerits above" -> "in addition to the aforementioned drawbacks"
Explanation: "Demerits" is less formal. "Aforementioned" is a precise and formal term.
"First, it gives our lives such high convenience and amenities." -> "First, it enhances convenience and quality of life."
Explanation: "Such high convenience and amenities" is awkward and not formally correct. "Enhances convenience and quality of life" is clearer and more precise.
"making it faster for us to catch or book those vehicles for either personal or public purposes." -> "making it quicker to access and book these vehicles for personal or public use."
Explanation: "Catch" is informal. "Access" is a more formal term in this context.
"Additionally, the proportion of accidents will drop significantly." -> "Additionally, the rate of accidents will significantly decrease."
Explanation: "Proportion of accidents" is not precise. "Rate of accidents" is a more accurate term.
"Less people will suffer from risks and injuries by travelling on those vehicles instead of driving themselves" -> "Fewer people will be at risk of injury when traveling in these vehicles compared to driving themselves."
Explanation: "Less people" should be "Fewer people." "At risk of injury" is more formal than "suffer from risks and injuries."
"For example, free-driver cars can be the best option for whenever you are drunk, alleviating the likelihood of unwanted accidents." -> "For example, autonomous vehicles can be a safer option when impaired, reducing the likelihood of accidents."
Explanation: "Free-driver cars" is unclear and informal. "Autonomous vehicles" is the correct term. "Alleviating the likelihood of unwanted accidents" is awkward; "reducing the likelihood of accidents" is clearer.
"To summarise, in distant future, despite hazardous efficacy of auto pilot transportation to our lives, the benefits that they attribute to us dominate the drawbacks." -> "In conclusion, despite the potential risks associated with autonomous transportation, its benefits outweigh the drawbacks."
Explanation: "To summarise" is less formal; "In conclusion" is more appropriate. "Hazardous efficacy" is unclear and awkward; "potential risks associated with" is clearer. "Dominate the drawbacks" is less precise; "outweigh the drawbacks" is clearer.

These improvements enhance clarity, precision, and formality while maintaining the essence of the original arguments.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay adequately addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of driverless vehicles. It acknowledges the potential drawbacks such as job displacement due to automation while arguing that the benefits outweigh these concerns.
- How to improve: To enhance this aspect, ensure that each point made directly relates back to the prompt and expands on the implications of driverless vehicles on society, economy, and safety.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position throughout, asserting that the benefits of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages. This stance is consistently supported with arguments regarding convenience, safety, and economic efficiency.
- How to improve: Strengthen the clarity of the position by explicitly stating it in the introduction and conclusion, and reiterate it throughout the body paragraphs to reinforce coherence.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas but lacks thorough development and support. For instance, while it mentions job displacement and economic implications, it does not provide extensive analysis or evidence to bolster these claims. However, it effectively extends the idea of safety benefits with examples and reasoning.
- How to improve: To enhance this aspect, ensure each idea is thoroughly developed with specific examples, statistics, or logical reasoning. Additionally, consider providing counterarguments to strengthen the overall argumentative structure.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay largely stays on topic by discussing the advantages and disadvantages of driverless vehicles as prompted. However, there are instances of minor deviation, such as the brief mention of drunk driving, which is tangential to the main argument.
- How to improve: To improve coherence, focus on directly addressing the prompt without introducing extraneous information or examples that do not directly contribute to the central argument.

Overall, while the essay effectively addresses the prompt and maintains a clear position, there is room for improvement in the depth of analysis and coherence. Strengthening the development of ideas and ensuring all points directly relate to the central argument would enhance the overall effectiveness of the essay.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a generally logical organization of information. Each paragraph addresses either the disadvantages or advantages of driverless vehicles, providing supporting points and examples. However, there are instances where the flow of ideas could be improved. For instance, the introduction could provide a clearer roadmap of the essay’s structure to guide the reader through the argument more effectively. Additionally, the conclusion could succinctly reiterate the main points presented in the body paragraphs to enhance coherence.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider refining the introduction to include a thesis statement outlining the main advantages and disadvantages to be discussed. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next by using linking words or phrases. Finally, in the conclusion, summarize the key points from the body paragraphs to reinforce the argument’s coherence.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs paragraphs to separate different aspects of the argument, which aids readability. Each paragraph focuses on a specific point related to either the disadvantages or advantages of driverless vehicles. However, there are opportunities for improvement in paragraph structure and coherence. Some paragraphs contain multiple ideas without clear delineation, leading to occasional confusion. Additionally, the concluding paragraph could be expanded to provide a more comprehensive summary of the essay’s main points.
- How to improve: To enhance paragraphing, ensure that each paragraph contains a single main idea supported by relevant examples or evidence. Consider breaking longer paragraphs into smaller ones to improve clarity and coherence. Additionally, expand the concluding paragraph to recap the main arguments presented in the essay, reinforcing the central thesis.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay utilizes a range of cohesive devices to connect ideas and improve coherence. Examples include transitional phrases such as "admittedly," "on the one hand," and "to summarize," which help to guide the reader through the argument. However, there is room for improvement in the diversity and precision of cohesive devices used. Some transitions are repetitive or overly simplistic, detracting from the essay’s overall cohesion.
- How to improve: To diversify and enhance the effectiveness of cohesive devices, consider incorporating a wider range of transition words and phrases, such as "furthermore," "however," "conversely," and "nevertheless." Use these devices strategically to indicate shifts between ideas and reinforce the logical progression of the argument. Additionally, pay attention to the specificity of transitions to ensure they accurately reflect the relationships between ideas.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a relatively wide range of vocabulary with attempts at varied word choices. For instance, it employs synonyms like "driver-free" and "self-driving" to avoid repetition. There are instances of more advanced vocabulary such as "eclipsed" and "merits."
- How to improve: To enhance your score further, try incorporating more sophisticated vocabulary that is accurately used in context. For example, instead of "more and more," consider alternatives like "increasingly" or "steadily." This will help to showcase a more nuanced command of vocabulary.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses some vocabulary precisely, such as "auto-pilot vehicles" and "autonomous transportation." However, there are instances where word choice could be more precise. For example, "displacements will witness a sustainable increase" is somewhat imprecise; "displacements will see a substantial increase" might be clearer.
- How to improve: To improve, focus on using vocabulary that fits the context precisely. Avoid using words where the meaning might be unclear or ambiguous. For instance, "just passengers" could be rephrased as "only passengers."
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The spelling in the essay generally demonstrates a good level of accuracy, with some minor errors such as "motors/cars" which could be better expressed as "vehicles" or "motor vehicles."
- How to improve: To enhance your spelling accuracy, consider proofreading your work carefully. It may also be helpful to use spell check tools to identify any minor errors that can be easily corrected.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid command of vocabulary with a few areas where improvement could lead to a higher score. Keep practicing to refine your vocabulary choices and accuracy in spelling to achieve a more consistent level of proficiency.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For instance, the writer employs complex sentences such as "While this development has certain drawbacks, I am convinced that they are eclipsed by the more significant benefits," effectively combining contrasting ideas. Furthermore, the essay utilizes compound sentences like "On the one hand, besides the demerits above, I suppose that auto-pilot vehicles also bring about numerous merits in the future," which contribute to coherence and cohesion.
- How to improve: To enhance the sophistication of the writing, consider incorporating more complex sentence structures, such as using subordinate clauses or employing rhetorical devices like parallelism or inversion. This could elevate the overall quality of the essay and make it more engaging for the reader.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid grasp of grammar and punctuation. However, there are instances where minor errors detract from the clarity of expression. For example, in the sentence "The main downside associated with driver-free vehicles is that job displacements will witness a sustainable (substantial) increase in our world," the use of "sustainable" seems inappropriate and may confuse the reader. Additionally, there are punctuation errors, such as missing commas in phrases like "making it faster for us to catch or book those vehicles for either personal or public purposes."
- How to improve: Pay closer attention to word choice to ensure precision and clarity in expression. Additionally, review punctuation rules, particularly regarding the use of commas in complex sentences and lists, to avoid ambiguity and improve readability. Proofreading the essay carefully before submission can help identify and rectify such errors, thereby enhancing the overall grammatical accuracy of the writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

It is increasingly anticipated that in the future, autonomous transportation such as buses, cars, and trucks will become prevalent. This means that these vehicles will operate without drivers, with only passengers on board. Despite certain drawbacks, I am convinced that the benefits outweigh them.

The primary concern regarding driver-free vehicles is the substantial increase in job displacements. The introduction of cruise control will eliminate the need for human drivers, thereby reducing labor costs associated with driver wages. As a result, many individuals will experience reduced monthly income, affecting their purchasing power and contributing to economic challenges for manufacturers. For instance, reduced consumer spending on food, beverages, and other goods would lead to decreased demand for producers, resulting in lower profits for enterprises, factories, and the economy.

In addition to the aforementioned drawbacks, there are significant benefits to consider. First, it enhances convenience and quality of life, making it quicker to access and book these vehicles for personal or public use. Additionally, the rate of accidents will significantly decrease. Fewer people will be at risk of injury when traveling in these vehicles compared to driving themselves. For example, autonomous vehicles can be a safer option when impaired, reducing the likelihood of accidents.

In conclusion, despite the potential risks associated with autonomous transportation, its benefits outweigh the drawbacks.