In the future, humanity will speak the same language. Some people believe that this is a positive development . Do you agree or disagree?

It is believed that in the near future, using a common language for communication will have a positive effect on societies. In my opinion, I somewhat agree with this idea for some reasons.
There are understandable reasons why the emergence of a global language can be seen as beneficial. Firstly, it helps people connect better in our global village because it removes language barriers. For instance, Vietnamese students can easily make friends and get on well with the local ones in Japan when they are involved in a student exchange program. As a result, they not only form great friendships but also learn more about each other’s cultures, which allows them to understand and work together better. Secondly, this development can stimulate economic growth since it makes international activities, like tourism and business, easier. A telling example is Singapore, where most of the foreign tourists to this country each year are Chinese due to the fact that the citizens of the two countries share the same language Mandarin
Despite the favourable impacts mentioned above, I believe that the adoption of a universal language can also be considered as a detrimental development to some extent. The main drawback is that this can result in a decrease in cultural diversity as each language obviously represents a unique culture. Consequently, if the whole world speaks the same language, there will be only a common culture on this planet. Another downside of this trend is that it can also lead to the disappearance of many occupations such as interpreters, translators or foreign language teachers. Therefore, many people could lose their jobs, hence higher unemployment rates.
In conclusion, in spite of some aforementioned positive effects, I hold the opinion that the use of only one global language can also trigger several adverse effects

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"It is believed that" -> "It is widely believed that"
Explanation: Adding "widely" enhances the formality and specificity of the statement, indicating a broader consensus among scholars or experts, which is more suitable for academic writing.
"In my opinion, I somewhat agree" -> "I partially concur"
Explanation: "I partially concur" is a more concise and formal way to express partial agreement, avoiding the redundancy of "In my opinion, I somewhat agree," which is verbose and informal.
"For some reasons" -> "For several reasons"
Explanation: "For several reasons" is more precise and formal than "for some reasons," which is vague and informal.
"it helps people connect better" -> "it facilitates better communication"
Explanation: "Facilitates better communication" is a more precise and formal expression than "helps people connect better," which is somewhat colloquial.
"get on well with" -> "interact effectively with"
Explanation: "Interact effectively with" is more formal and specific than "get on well with," which is informal and vague.
"As a result, they not only form great friendships" -> "Consequently, they not only form strong bonds"
Explanation: "Consequently" is a more formal transitional phrase than "As a result," and "strong bonds" is a more precise term than "great friendships," which is somewhat informal.
"learn more about each other’s cultures" -> "gain a deeper understanding of each other’s cultures"
Explanation: "Gain a deeper understanding of" is a more academically precise phrase than "learn more about," which is somewhat casual.
"this development can stimulate economic growth" -> "this development can foster economic growth"
Explanation: "Foster" is a more formal and precise term than "stimulate" in this context, suggesting a more deliberate and supportive role in economic development.
"makes international activities, like tourism and business, easier" -> "facilitates international activities such as tourism and business"
Explanation: "Facilitates" is more formal than "makes," and "such as" is more appropriate than "like" in formal writing.
"A telling example is Singapore" -> "A notable example is Singapore"
Explanation: "Notable" is more formal than "telling," which can be seen as colloquial.
"the citizens of the two countries share the same language Mandarin" -> "the citizens of the two countries speak Mandarin"
Explanation: "Speak" is more precise and formal than "share the same language," which is redundant and informal.
"can also be considered as a detrimental development" -> "can also be viewed as detrimental"
Explanation: "Viewed as" is more formal and concise than "considered as," and removing "a" before "detrimental" corrects the grammatical error.
"each language obviously represents a unique culture" -> "each language inherently represents a distinct culture"
Explanation: "Inherently" and "distinct" are more precise and formal than "obviously" and "unique," which are somewhat vague and informal.
"there will be only a common culture on this planet" -> "there will be a uniform culture globally"
Explanation: "Uniform culture globally" is more precise and formal than "only a common culture on this planet," which is awkwardly phrased.
"it can also lead to the disappearance of many occupations" -> "it may also lead to the elimination of numerous occupations"
Explanation: "May also lead to the elimination of numerous occupations" is more formal and precise than "can also lead to the disappearance of many occupations," which is somewhat informal and vague.
"hence higher unemployment rates" -> "resulting in higher unemployment rates"
Explanation: "Resulting in" is more formal and direct than "hence," which is somewhat informal and less clear in this context.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both the positive and negative aspects of a global language, which aligns with the requirement to agree or disagree with the statement. The introduction states a somewhat agree position, indicating a balanced view. However, the essay could benefit from a more explicit acknowledgment of the opposing viewpoint in the introduction to clarify the stance further.
- How to improve: To enhance this aspect, the writer should clearly outline their position in the introduction, possibly stating that they agree with the benefits but also recognize significant drawbacks. This can help set the stage for a more nuanced discussion throughout the essay.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear position that acknowledges both sides of the argument. However, the phrase "I somewhat agree" can introduce ambiguity regarding the strength of the writer’s position. The conclusion reiterates the opinion but could be stronger in emphasizing the writer’s stance.
- How to improve: To maintain a clearer position, the writer should consider using stronger language in the introduction and conclusion, such as "I largely agree" or "I believe the drawbacks outweigh the benefits." This would provide a more definitive stance and guide the reader through the argument.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas, such as the benefits of a common language for cultural exchange and economic growth, supported by relevant examples. However, the development of these ideas could be more extensive. For instance, the examples provided, while relevant, could be elaborated upon to deepen the analysis and connection to the main argument.
- How to improve: To improve the support for ideas, the writer should aim to provide more detailed explanations of their examples. For instance, discussing how the cultural exchange in Japan leads to long-term relationships or economic impacts in Singapore could strengthen the argument. Additionally, integrating counterarguments with rebuttals would enhance the depth of the discussion.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the implications of a global language. However, the mention of job losses in the context of a universal language could be expanded to clarify how this relates to the overall argument about cultural diversity and societal impacts.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that every point made directly ties back to the central argument regarding the implications of a common language. This could involve explicitly linking the job market impacts to cultural diversity, thereby reinforcing the essay’s main themes.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a good understanding of the task and presents relevant arguments. However, with clearer positioning, more detailed support for ideas, and tighter focus on the topic, the essay could achieve a higher band score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing both the positive and negative aspects of a universal language, and a conclusion. The ideas are logically sequenced, with the first body paragraph focusing on the benefits and the second on the drawbacks. However, the transition between the two main points could be smoother. For instance, the shift from discussing the benefits to the drawbacks feels somewhat abrupt.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases that signal a shift in perspective, such as "On the other hand" or "Conversely." Additionally, explicitly linking the ideas in the conclusion back to the points made in the body paragraphs can reinforce the overall argument and improve coherence.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct idea. The first paragraph discusses the benefits of a global language, while the second addresses the potential drawbacks. Each paragraph contains relevant examples that support the main point. However, the conclusion could be more developed to summarize the key arguments more clearly.
- How to improve: Ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that outlines the main idea. In the conclusion, restate the main points discussed in the body paragraphs to reinforce the argument. This will help to create a more cohesive structure and ensure that the reader can easily follow the writer’s line of reasoning.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "Firstly," "Secondly," and "Consequently," which help to guide the reader through the argument. However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between sentences could be more explicit. For example, the phrase "despite the favourable impacts" could be better linked to the previous paragraph to clarify the contrast being made.
- How to improve: To diversify cohesive devices, incorporate a wider variety of linking words and phrases, such as "Furthermore," "In addition," "However," and "Nevertheless." Additionally, consider using pronouns or synonyms to refer back to previously mentioned ideas, which can help create a smoother flow between sentences and paragraphs. This will enhance the overall coherence of the essay.

By addressing these areas for improvement, the essay can achieve a higher level of coherence and cohesion, potentially raising the band score in this criterion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary related to the topic of language and communication. Phrases such as "global village," "language barriers," and "cultural diversity" show an ability to use topic-specific language effectively. However, there are moments where vocabulary could be more varied. For example, the repeated use of "language" and "global" could be replaced with synonyms or paraphrased to enhance lexical variety.
- How to improve: To improve, the writer could incorporate synonyms or related phrases. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "language," alternatives like "linguistic communication" or "tongue" could be employed. Additionally, using more descriptive adjectives or adverbs could enrich the text, such as replacing "great friendships" with "meaningful friendships" or "significant connections."
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary accurately, but there are instances of imprecise usage that could lead to ambiguity. For example, the phrase "the emergence of a global language can be seen as beneficial" could be more precise if it specified who perceives it as beneficial (e.g., "many sociolinguists argue that the emergence of a global language…"). Furthermore, the term "detrimental development" is somewhat vague; specifying what aspects are detrimental would enhance clarity.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should ensure that vocabulary choices clearly convey their intended meaning. For instance, instead of "detrimental development," the writer could specify "potential loss of cultural identity" to clarify the nature of the detriment. Additionally, using more specific terms related to economic impacts, such as "job displacement" instead of "higher unemployment rates," would enhance the precision of the argument.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay displays a high level of spelling accuracy, with no noticeable errors in the text. Words like "understandable," "consequently," and "unemployment" are spelled correctly, reflecting a solid grasp of English orthography.
- How to improve: While the spelling is accurate, the writer should maintain this standard by regularly practicing spelling through reading and writing exercises. Utilizing tools such as spell checkers or engaging in vocabulary quizzes can further reinforce spelling skills. Additionally, reviewing commonly misspelled words in English could be beneficial for ongoing improvement.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid command of lexical resource, achieving a Band Score of 7. By expanding vocabulary range, enhancing precision in word choice, and maintaining spelling accuracy, the writer can work towards achieving an even higher score in future essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including complex and compound sentences. For example, the use of phrases like "it helps people connect better in our global village because it removes language barriers" showcases a combination of clauses that effectively convey the relationship between ideas. However, there are instances of simpler sentence structures that could be enhanced. For instance, "Another downside of this trend is that it can also lead to the disappearance of many occupations such as interpreters, translators or foreign language teachers" could be restructured to incorporate more complex forms to add depth.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, the writer could incorporate more varied introductory phrases, subordinate clauses, and conditional sentences. For example, instead of starting with "Another downside of this trend," the writer could begin with a dependent clause: "While some may argue for the benefits of a universal language, it is crucial to consider the potential downsides, such as the disappearance of many occupations…"
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a good level of grammatical accuracy, with only a few minor errors. For instance, the phrase "the citizens of the two countries share the same language Mandarin" lacks a necessary comma before "Mandarin," which could lead to confusion. Additionally, the phrase "in spite of some aforementionedpositive effects" could be clearer if rephrased to "in spite of the aforementioned positive effects." There are also some instances of awkward phrasing, such as "I somewhat agree with this idea for some reasons," which could be simplified to "I somewhat agree with this idea for several reasons."
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on punctuation rules, particularly the use of commas in complex sentences. Regular proofreading can help catch these minor errors. Furthermore, simplifying complex phrases and ensuring clarity in expression will improve overall readability. For example, instead of "I somewhat agree with this idea for some reasons," the writer could say, "I partially agree with this idea for several reasons."

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid command of grammatical range and accuracy, there is room for improvement in diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical precision. By incorporating more complex structures and focusing on punctuation and clarity, the writer can enhance the overall effectiveness of their writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

It is widely believed that in the near future, using a common language for communication will have a positive effect on societies. In my opinion, I partially concur with this idea for several reasons.

There are understandable reasons why the emergence of a global language can be seen as beneficial. Firstly, it facilitates better communication in our global village because it removes language barriers. For instance, Vietnamese students can easily make friends and interact effectively with local students in Japan when they participate in a student exchange program. Consequently, they not only form strong bonds but also gain a deeper understanding of each other’s cultures, which allows them to collaborate more effectively. Secondly, this development can foster economic growth since it facilitates international activities such as tourism and business. A notable example is Singapore, where most of the foreign tourists each year are Chinese due to the fact that the citizens of the two countries speak Mandarin.

Despite the favorable impacts mentioned above, I believe that the adoption of a universal language can also be viewed as detrimental to some extent. The main drawback is that this can result in a decrease in cultural diversity, as each language inherently represents a distinct culture. Consequently, if the whole world speaks the same language, there will be a uniform culture globally. Another downside of this trend is that it may also lead to the elimination of numerous occupations such as interpreters, translators, or foreign language teachers. Therefore, many people could lose their jobs, resulting in higher unemployment rates.

In conclusion, in spite of the aforementioned positive effects, I hold the opinion that the use of only one global language can also trigger several adverse effects.