In the future, nobody will buy books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying by e-books. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
In the future, nobody will buy books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying by e-books. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
We are living in a modern civilization that has been at its peak of technological advance ever, and this trend will definitely rise in the future. Therefore, there are some good reasons for a number of people to say that printed newspapers or books will die out soon to make room for online reading tools. I partly disagree with this notion based on some major reasons that are explained in this essay.
In general, books are a means of conveying words, they are the most precious treasure that is passed down from prominent older generations, even dating back to the Stone Age. Besides, the deeper value of books is not just the mere knowledge inside. The spirit of every word printed inside a book is what truly brings great pleasure to a book reader. In addition, reading through flipping each page and have a slight snack becomes a practice of a significant number of people, children and adults alike. They love to look at their bookshelves and enjoy a meaningful habit. Moreover, when we think deeper into the sources of the ebook, we see that they are not kind of sustainable sources. Who can confidently state that the internet and technology work properly at every time, they could collapse all just by a click.
However, we can not deny the great convenience and flexibility of e-books. They can be taken anywhere and a portable smartphone can store thousands of e-books which are equivalent to massive of traditional books weight. Not to mention their extremely low cost and environmental-friendly, they are maybe suitable for environmentalists who are interested in reading.
In conclusion, book readers all have their rational reasons to chose their very kind of book. But in my belief, there is no chance that e-books would beat traditional books to become a prevalent means as paper books have had a strong bond in human life for thousands of years.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
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"We are living in a modern civilization that has been at its peak of technological advance ever" -> "We are currently residing in a modern civilization that has reached the pinnacle of technological advancement"
Explanation: The phrase "at its peak of technological advance ever" is awkward and grammatically incorrect. "Currently residing" and "reached the pinnacle of technological advancement" are more precise and formally appropriate. -
"there are some good reasons for a number of people to say" -> "there are several compelling reasons why some individuals assert"
Explanation: "Some good reasons for a number of people to say" is informal and vague. "Several compelling reasons why some individuals assert" is more formal and precise. -
"will definitely rise" -> "will undoubtedly increase"
Explanation: "Will definitely rise" is somewhat informal and imprecise. "Will undoubtedly increase" is more formal and suitable for academic writing. -
"books are a means of conveying words, they are the most precious treasure" -> "books serve as a means of conveying words, and they are considered the most valuable treasure"
Explanation: The original phrase is awkwardly structured and informal. The revised version clarifies the relationship between the clauses and uses more formal language. -
"even dating back to the Stone Age" -> "dating back to the Stone Age"
Explanation: The phrase "even" is unnecessary and informal in this context. Removing it maintains the formal tone. -
"The spirit of every word printed inside a book is what truly brings great pleasure to a book reader" -> "The essence of every word printed within a book is what truly provides great satisfaction to readers"
Explanation: "The spirit of every word" is metaphorical and vague. "The essence of every word" is more precise and academically appropriate. Also, "book reader" is replaced with "readers" for plural consistency. -
"reading through flipping each page and have a slight snack" -> "reading by flipping through each page and enjoying a snack"
Explanation: "Have a slight snack" is informal and awkwardly integrated into the sentence. "Enjoying a snack" is more natural and formal. -
"They love to look at their bookshelves and enjoy a meaningful habit" -> "They appreciate browsing their bookshelves and engaging in this meaningful habit"
Explanation: "Look at their bookshelves and enjoy a meaningful habit" is informal and vague. "Appreciate browsing their bookshelves and engaging in this meaningful habit" is more precise and formal. -
"Who can confidently state that the internet and technology work properly at every time, they could collapse all just by a click" -> "Who can confidently assert that the internet and technology function consistently, as they could fail at any moment with a single click"
Explanation: The original sentence is grammatically incorrect and informal. The revised version corrects these issues and uses more formal language. -
"we can not deny" -> "we cannot deny"
Explanation: "Can not" is a less formal contraction. "Cannot" is the correct form for formal writing. -
"they are maybe suitable for environmentalists" -> "they may be suitable for environmentalists"
Explanation: "Maybe" is too informal and imprecise. "May be" is more formal and appropriate for academic writing. -
"But in my belief" -> "However, in my opinion"
Explanation: "In my belief" is less formal and slightly awkward. "In my opinion" is a standard, formal expression in academic writing. -
"there is no chance that e-books would beat traditional books" -> "it is unlikely that e-books will surpass traditional books"
Explanation: "There is no chance" is overly definitive and informal. "It is unlikely" is a more measured and academically appropriate expression.
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Task Response: 7
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Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both sides of the argument regarding the future of books versus e-books. The writer presents a clear disagreement with the notion that books will become obsolete, providing reasons for this stance. However, the essay could benefit from a more balanced exploration of both perspectives. For instance, while the advantages of e-books are mentioned, they are not as thoroughly elaborated upon as the reasons for valuing traditional books.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the essay should include a more detailed examination of the benefits of e-books, such as accessibility, affordability, and the potential for interactive features. This would provide a more comprehensive view of the topic and demonstrate a deeper engagement with the prompt.
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Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The writer maintains a clear position against the complete replacement of traditional books by e-books. However, the phrasing "I partly disagree" introduces some ambiguity regarding the extent of the disagreement. The essay could benefit from a more definitive stance throughout, particularly in the introduction and conclusion.
- How to improve: To strengthen the clarity of the position, the writer could rephrase the introduction to clearly state the level of agreement or disagreement. Consistently reinforcing this stance in each paragraph would also help maintain focus and coherence.
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Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas supporting the value of traditional books, such as their cultural significance and the sensory experience of reading. However, some arguments lack depth and could be more effectively supported with examples or evidence. For instance, the mention of the "spirit of every word" is somewhat abstract and could be made more tangible with specific examples of how books impact readers emotionally or intellectually.
- How to improve: To improve the development of ideas, the writer should aim to provide concrete examples or anecdotes that illustrate the points made. Additionally, expanding on the advantages of e-books with specific instances or statistics could create a more balanced argument.
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Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the discussion of books versus e-books. However, there are moments where the argument could be more tightly focused. For example, the discussion about the sustainability of e-books is somewhat vague and could be more directly tied to the overall argument about their future relevance.
- How to improve: To maintain a tighter focus, the writer should ensure that every point made directly supports the central argument. Avoiding tangential discussions and ensuring that each paragraph contributes to the overall thesis will help keep the essay cohesive and relevant.
Overall, while the essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and presents a clear argument, there is room for improvement in depth, clarity, and balance. By addressing these areas, the writer can enhance the overall effectiveness of their response.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7
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Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear stance on the topic, indicating partial disagreement with the notion that printed books will become obsolete. The introduction sets the stage well, outlining the writer’s position. However, the organization within paragraphs could be improved. For instance, the second paragraph discusses the value of printed books but could benefit from clearer topic sentences and transitions to guide the reader through the argument. The flow between ideas is somewhat disjointed, particularly when shifting from the value of books to the limitations of e-books.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, the writer should ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that encapsulates the main idea. Additionally, using transitional phrases (e.g., "Furthermore," "Conversely," "On the other hand") can help connect ideas more fluidly and guide the reader through the argument.
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Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay is divided into paragraphs, which is essential for clarity. However, the second paragraph is quite lengthy and covers multiple ideas without distinct separation, which can overwhelm the reader. The conclusion, while summarizing the writer’s stance, could also be more robust in reinforcing the key arguments made throughout the essay.
- How to improve: The writer should aim to break down longer paragraphs into smaller, more focused sections. Each paragraph should ideally address a single main idea or argument. For example, the second paragraph could be split into two: one focusing on the emotional and cultural value of printed books and the other addressing the limitations of e-books. This would create a clearer structure and make the essay easier to follow.
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Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "besides," "moreover," and "however," which help to connect ideas. However, the range of cohesive devices used is somewhat limited, and the transitions between points can feel abrupt at times. For example, the transition from discussing the value of books to the convenience of e-books lacks a smooth connection, which can disrupt the flow of the argument.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, the writer should incorporate a wider variety of linking words and phrases. For instance, using "in contrast" to introduce the benefits of e-books after discussing printed books would create a clearer distinction between the two perspectives. Additionally, employing phrases like "this illustrates that" or "as a result" can help clarify relationships between ideas and enhance overall coherence.
By addressing these areas, the writer can improve the coherence and cohesion of the essay, potentially raising the band score in this criterion.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7
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Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with terms such as "technological advance," "conveying words," "precious treasure," and "environmental-friendly." These phrases show an ability to articulate ideas clearly and effectively. However, there are instances where more varied vocabulary could enhance the essay. For example, the phrase "great convenience and flexibility" could be replaced with alternatives like "significant advantages" or "notable benefits" to avoid repetition and enrich the language.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should consider using synonyms and more sophisticated phrases. Engaging with a thesaurus or reading widely can expose the writer to different expressions that can be incorporated into their writing.
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Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains some precise vocabulary, such as "printed newspapers" and "online reading tools." However, there are instances of imprecise usage, such as "the spirit of every word printed inside a book," which may be too abstract and could confuse readers. Additionally, the phrase "massive of traditional books weight" is awkward and unclear, suggesting a lack of precision in conveying the intended meaning.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on clarity and conciseness. Revising sentences for clarity and ensuring that each word contributes meaningfully to the overall message can help. For instance, instead of "massive of traditional books weight," the writer could say "the weight of numerous traditional books," which is clearer and more precise.
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Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally demonstrates good spelling, with no major errors that would impede understanding. However, there are minor issues, such as "who can confidently state that the internet and technology work properly at every time," where "at every time" could be more appropriately phrased as "at all times." Such phrasing issues can sometimes lead to confusion.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling and overall language accuracy, the writer should proofread their work carefully, looking for awkward phrases and ensuring that each word is spelled correctly and used appropriately. Utilizing spell-check tools and reading the essay aloud can also help identify areas that need correction.
In summary, while the essay achieves a Band Score of 7 for Lexical Resource, there are opportunities for improvement in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling. By focusing on these areas, the writer can enhance their overall writing quality and potentially achieve a higher band score in future essays.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7
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Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For instance, the use of complex structures such as "who can confidently state that the internet and technology work properly at every time" showcases an attempt to convey nuanced ideas. However, there are instances of repetitive structures, particularly in the introductory and concluding paragraphs, which could benefit from more variation. The phrase "there are some good reasons for a number of people to say that" is somewhat formulaic and could be expressed differently to enhance variety.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, the writer could incorporate more varied sentence openings and use different conjunctions to connect ideas. For example, instead of starting sentences with "In addition" or "Moreover," the writer could use participial phrases or adverbial clauses, such as "Having considered the benefits of e-books, it is clear that…" This would not only improve the flow but also demonstrate a wider range of grammatical structures.
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Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a good level of grammatical accuracy, but there are notable errors that detract from its overall effectiveness. For example, the phrase "reading through flipping each page and have a slight snack" should be corrected to "reading while flipping each page and having a slight snack" to maintain parallel structure. Additionally, punctuation errors, such as the comma splice in "Who can confidently state that the internet and technology work properly at every time, they could collapse all just by a click," disrupt the flow of the argument. The correct structure would involve separating these ideas into distinct sentences or using a semicolon.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement and parallel structure. Regular practice with sentence combining exercises could help in this regard. Additionally, proofreading for punctuation errors and ensuring that each sentence is complete and correctly punctuated would significantly improve clarity. Utilizing grammar-checking tools or seeking feedback from peers could also help identify and correct these issues before submission.
Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents coherent arguments, focusing on diversifying sentence structures and improving grammatical accuracy will help elevate the writing to a higher band score.
Bài sửa mẫu
We are living in a modern civilization that has reached the pinnacle of technological advancement, and this trend will undoubtedly increase in the future. Therefore, there are several compelling reasons why some individuals assert that printed newspapers or books will die out soon to make room for online reading tools. I partly disagree with this notion based on some major reasons that are explained in this essay.
In general, books serve as a means of conveying words; they are considered the most valuable treasure that is passed down from prominent older generations, even dating back to the Stone Age. Besides, the deeper value of books is not just the mere knowledge inside. The essence of every word printed within a book is what truly provides great satisfaction to readers. In addition, reading by flipping through each page and enjoying a snack becomes a practice for a significant number of people, children and adults alike. They appreciate browsing their bookshelves and engaging in this meaningful habit. Moreover, when we think deeper about the sources of e-books, we see that they are not sustainable sources. Who can confidently assert that the internet and technology function consistently? They could fail at any moment with a single click.
However, we cannot deny the great convenience and flexibility of e-books. They can be taken anywhere, and a portable smartphone can store thousands of e-books, which are equivalent to the massive weight of traditional books. Not to mention their extremely low cost and environmental friendliness, they may be suitable for environmentalists who are interested in reading.
In conclusion, book readers all have their rational reasons to choose their preferred type of book. However, in my opinion, it is unlikely that e-books will surpass traditional books, as paper books have had a strong bond in human life for thousands of years.