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In the future, people may no longer be able to pay for things in shops using cash. All payments may have to be made by card or using the phone. Do you think this will happen one day? Why do you think some people might not be happy to give up using cash?

In the future, people may no longer be able to pay for things in shops using cash. All payments may have to be made by card or using the phone. Do you think this will happen one day? Why do you think some people might not be happy to give up using cash?

The world in the future seem to be a world without cash, where everyone uses phones or card to pay. While this could happen in the future, there are some reasons why people might not be happy to stop using cash.

On the one hand, paying with cards or phones is already common in many countries. It is fast and convenient for people to use, which is why many people prefer it. For businesses, it can enlarge the customers and financial because digital payments are safer because there is less risk of being robbed, and it is easier to count the amount of money. Moreover, digital payments are often safer, with protections like passwords and codes to prevent theft.

However, some people might not want a world without cash. First, they might worry about their private. When you use cash, no one can see what you are buying, but digital payments can be controlled by banks, governments, or even bad people. Some people like the privacy that cash gives and may feel uncomfortable .Secondly, not everyone can use digital payment methods. Older people or those who live in rural areas might not know how to use the technology since it may tough for them to remember the steps. Also, people who do not have bank accounts or smartphones would struggle in a cashless world, which could create unfairness.

In conclusion, although payment seem to be famous and widely used by all people from the world because of its convenient and benefits,cash may indispensable in the future or may take a long time to disappear due to it familiar .


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "The world in the future seem to be" -> "The world may seem to be"
    Explanation: Correcting "seem" to "seem" fixes the grammatical error and maintains the formal tone of the sentence.

  2. "a world without cash" -> "a cashless world"
    Explanation: "A cashless world" is a more precise and commonly used term in academic and formal contexts, enhancing clarity and specificity.

  3. "everyone uses phones or card to pay" -> "everyone uses phones or cards to pay"
    Explanation: Correcting "card" to "cards" addresses the grammatical error and maintains consistency in plural form.

  4. "there are some reasons why people might not be happy to stop using cash" -> "there are several reasons why individuals might not be inclined to abandon cash"
    Explanation: Replacing "people" with "individuals" and "happy to stop using" with "inclined to abandon" refines the language to be more formal and precise.

  5. "enlarge the customers and financial" -> "expand customer bases and financial transactions"
    Explanation: "Enlarge the customers and financial" is awkward and unclear. "Expand customer bases and financial transactions" is more precise and appropriate for an academic context.

  6. "it can enlarge the customers and financial" -> "it can expand customer bases and facilitate financial transactions"
    Explanation: "Expand customer bases" and "facilitate financial transactions" are more specific and academically appropriate than the vague and incorrect "enlarge the customers and financial."

  7. "digital payments are safer, with protections like passwords and codes to prevent theft" -> "digital payments are more secure, with safeguards such as passwords and codes to prevent theft"
    Explanation: "More secure" and "safeguards" are more precise and formal terms than "safer" and "protections," enhancing the academic tone.

  8. "they might worry about their private" -> "they might be concerned about their privacy"
    Explanation: "Privacy" is the correct noun form, and "be concerned about" is more formal than "worry about."

  9. "may feel uncomfortable" -> "may feel uneasy"
    Explanation: "Uneasy" is a more formal synonym for "uncomfortable," fitting better in an academic context.

  10. "it may tough for them to remember the steps" -> "it may be challenging for them to navigate the process"
    Explanation: "Challenging" and "navigate the process" are more precise and formal than "tough" and "remember the steps."

  11. "people who do not have bank accounts or smartphones would struggle" -> "individuals without bank accounts or smartphones would face difficulties"
    Explanation: "Individuals" and "face difficulties" are more formal and precise than "people" and "struggle."

  12. "payment seem to be famous and widely used" -> "payment methods are widely used"
    Explanation: "Payment methods" is a more accurate and formal term than "payment seem to be famous," which is awkward and incorrect.

  13. "cash may indispensable in the future" -> "cash may remain indispensable in the future"
    Explanation: "Remain" is necessary to complete the sentence grammatically, and "indispensable" should be used as an adjective, not a noun.

  14. "it familiar" -> "it is familiar"
    Explanation: Adding "is" corrects the grammatical error and clarifies the sentence structure.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both parts of the prompt effectively. It discusses the potential for a cashless future, acknowledging that this could happen, while also exploring reasons why some individuals may resist this change. The first paragraph introduces the idea of a cashless society, and the second paragraph provides supporting arguments for this viewpoint. However, the essay could benefit from a more explicit connection to the prompt, particularly in the conclusion, where the response to the question about whether this will happen is somewhat vague.
    • How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should ensure that each part of the prompt is explicitly addressed. For example, the conclusion could directly state whether the writer believes a cashless society will occur and summarize the reasons behind this belief more clearly.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear position that acknowledges both the possibility of a cashless future and the reasons for resistance. However, the clarity of the position could be improved. The phrase "this could happen in the future" is somewhat tentative and could be more assertive. The essay does not consistently reinforce this position throughout, particularly in the conclusion, which lacks a definitive stance.
    • How to improve: To maintain a clearer position, the writer should use more assertive language and consistently refer back to their viewpoint throughout the essay. Phrases like "I believe" or "It is likely that" can help establish a stronger stance.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas, such as the convenience of digital payments and the privacy concerns associated with them. However, some points are not fully developed. For instance, the mention of "bad people" controlling digital payments could be expanded with examples or further explanation to strengthen the argument. Additionally, the transition between ideas could be smoother to enhance coherence.
    • How to improve: The writer should aim to elaborate on key points with examples, statistics, or anecdotes that illustrate their arguments. Using linking words and phrases can also help improve the flow between ideas, making the essay more cohesive.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the implications of a cashless society and the reasons some people may resist it. However, there are moments where the focus wavers, particularly in the conclusion, which introduces new ideas about the benefits of cashless payments without adequately tying them back to the main argument.
    • How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that every part of the essay directly relates back to the prompt. The conclusion should summarize the main points discussed and reinforce the writer’s position without introducing new concepts that could distract from the main argument.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the prompt and presents relevant ideas, improvements in clarity, development of ideas, and focus will enhance the overall effectiveness of the response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The first body paragraph discusses the advantages of digital payments, while the second addresses the concerns regarding the absence of cash. This logical division helps the reader follow the argument. However, the transitions between ideas could be smoother. For instance, the transition from discussing the benefits of digital payments to the drawbacks could be more explicitly stated to enhance clarity.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases that explicitly connect the ideas between paragraphs. For example, after discussing the benefits of digital payments, a sentence like "Despite these advantages, there are significant concerns that must be addressed regarding the elimination of cash" would create a clearer link between the two contrasting viewpoints.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which is a strength. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the argument, making it easier for the reader to digest the information. However, the paragraphs could be more developed. The second body paragraph, while addressing important points, lacks depth and could benefit from more examples or elaboration on the concerns mentioned.
    • How to improve: To improve paragraph effectiveness, aim to expand on key points with examples or further explanation. For instance, when discussing privacy concerns, you could elaborate on specific scenarios where digital payments might compromise privacy. This would not only strengthen the argument but also provide a more comprehensive view of the issue.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable use of cohesive devices, such as "on the one hand" and "however," to contrast different viewpoints. However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and there are instances where cohesion could be improved. For example, the phrase "Moreover" is used correctly, but there are few other devices that link ideas within and between sentences.
    • How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases. For instance, use "in addition" to add information, "conversely" to present opposing views, or "for instance" to introduce examples. This variety will enhance the flow of the essay and make the connections between ideas clearer.

Overall, while the essay achieves a solid level of coherence and cohesion, there are areas for improvement that could elevate the score. Focus on enhancing transitions, expanding on key points, and diversifying cohesive devices to create a more polished and cohesive argument.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms like "convenient," "financial," and "indispensable." However, the vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive, particularly in phrases like "paying with cards or phones," which could be varied to enhance the richness of the language. Additionally, the use of "famous" in the conclusion is somewhat vague and does not accurately convey the intended meaning.
    • How to improve: To improve lexical range, the writer should incorporate synonyms and more varied expressions. For example, instead of repeatedly saying "paying with cards or phones," alternatives like "digital transactions" or "electronic payments" could be used. Expanding vocabulary through reading and practice can help in this area.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: There are instances of imprecise vocabulary usage, such as "private," which should be "privacy," and "may tough," which should be "may be tough." These errors can lead to confusion and detract from the clarity of the argument. The phrase "enlarge the customers" is also awkward and unclear; a more precise term would be "expand the customer base."
    • How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should focus on using the correct forms of words and ensuring that phrases convey the intended meaning. Proofreading for grammatical accuracy and seeking feedback on word choice can help improve precision.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "seem" instead of "seems," "indispensable" spelled as "indispensable," and "its" instead of "it’s." These mistakes can undermine the overall quality of the writing and distract the reader.
    • How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should practice spelling common words and utilize tools like spell checkers. Additionally, reading the essay aloud can help identify errors, as mispronounced words may indicate spelling mistakes. Regular practice with spelling exercises can also be beneficial.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a foundational understanding of vocabulary, there are significant areas for improvement in range, precision, and spelling. By expanding vocabulary, focusing on precise language, and enhancing spelling accuracy, the writer can work towards achieving a higher band score in the Lexical Resource criteria.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of sentence structures. For example, simple sentences like "It is fast and convenient for people to use" are prevalent, and there are some complex sentences such as "When you use cash, no one can see what you are buying, but digital payments can be controlled by banks, governments, or even bad people." However, the overall variety is limited, and many sentences follow a similar structure, which can lead to a monotonous reading experience.
    • How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, the writer could incorporate more complex and compound sentences. For instance, using introductory phrases, relative clauses, and varied conjunctions can help. An example could be rephrasing "Some people might not want a world without cash" to "While many embrace digital payments, others may resist a cashless world due to concerns about privacy and accessibility." This not only adds complexity but also engages the reader more effectively.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from its clarity. For instance, "The world in the future seem to be a world without cash" should be "seems" to agree with the singular subject "world." Additionally, phrases like "the customers and financial" are awkward and unclear. Punctuation errors are also present, such as the missing comma before "but" in "but digital payments can be controlled by banks, governments, or even bad people," which can lead to run-on sentences and confusion.
    • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement and clarity in phrasing. Proofreading for common errors, such as verb forms and awkward constructions, can significantly enhance the essay’s quality. Furthermore, practicing punctuation rules, especially regarding commas in compound sentences, will help clarify the meaning. For example, revising "which could create unfairness" to "which could lead to unfairness" can improve both clarity and grammatical accuracy.

Overall, while the essay presents a coherent argument, addressing the identified weaknesses in grammatical range and accuracy will help elevate the writing to a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

The world in the future may seem to be a cashless world, where everyone uses phones or cards to pay. While this could happen, there are several reasons why people might not be happy to stop using cash.

On the one hand, paying with cards or phones is already common in many countries. It is fast and convenient for people to use, which is why many prefer it. For businesses, it can expand customer bases and facilitate financial transactions because digital payments are safer, with less risk of being robbed, and it is easier to count the amount of money. Moreover, digital payments are often more secure, with safeguards such as passwords and codes to prevent theft.

However, some people might not want a world without cash. First, they might worry about their privacy. When you use cash, no one can see what you are buying, but digital payments can be controlled by banks, governments, or even bad people. Some individuals like the privacy that cash provides and may feel uneasy. Secondly, not everyone can use digital payment methods. Older people or those who live in rural areas might not know how to use the technology since it may be challenging for them to navigate the process. Also, individuals without bank accounts or smartphones would face difficulties in a cashless world, which could create unfairness.

In conclusion, although digital payments seem to be popular and widely used by people around the world because of their convenience and benefits, cash may remain indispensable in the future or may take a long time to disappear due to its familiarity.

Bài viết liên quan

Task 2: You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Some people believe teenagers should focus on all subjects equally, whereas other people think that they should concentrate on only those subjects that they find interesting and they are best at. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Task 2: You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Some people believe teenagers should focus on all subjects…

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