In the modern world, many employees lack soft skills such as communication and working in teams. What are the main causes of this problem? What are the effects of the lack of soft skills?

In the modern world, many employees lack soft skills such as communication and working in teams. What are the main causes of this problem? What are the effects of the lack of soft skills?

In today’s job market, having a strong set of soft skills can make all the difference when it comes to landing a job. Employers often prioritize candidates who possess excellent communication and teamwork skills, as these traits significantly impact the overall success of a company. Employers consider soft skills even more valuable than formal qualifications or technical expertise.
The pandemic in 2019 due to COVID-19 played a big role in the drop in societies' communication skills and teamwork. One of the primary causes is unsuitable education. There are various factors leading to not paying much attention to developing social skills, including schools, teachers, and parents. When learning at schools, academic knowledge is considered the most essential understanding that can be achieved. Therefore, students spend all their time learning math, physics, and other subjects. Parents ask their children to learn as much as possible instead of playing with friends or taking part in clubs or meaningful activities which are the most useful methods to improve soft skills.
With the rapid advancement in technology, people have become more engrossed in their daily lives. The availability of various devices like smartphones, tablets, and laptops has made communication more accessible than ever before. Nevertheless, this has led to individuals becoming more
self-centered and preferring communicating via mobile phone calls instead of meeting face-to-face. Additionally, working in teams is essential to coordinate and share ideas. However, many employees hesitate to share their plans, fearing that others may steal their ideas. On the other hand, lacking skills such as team building or working in a team will affect the overall performance of employees as well as the organization as a whole because when employees are working alone their productivity is not as good as when they are working in a team. Therefore, when a project is not completed on time then it might affect the overall rating of the company or organization.
In conclusion, employees must carry a work-life balance and maintain healthy relationships with colleagues.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

  1. "soft skills" -> "interpersonal skills"
    Explanation: Replacing "soft skills" with "interpersonal skills" provides a more formal and specific term, aligning with academic language standards and avoiding colloquialism.

  2. "make all the difference" -> "be crucial"
    Explanation: Substituting "make all the difference" with "be crucial" enhances the formality of the sentence, avoiding a colloquial expression and maintaining a more academic tone.

  3. "big role" -> "significant role"
    Explanation: Replacing "big role" with "significant role" adds precision and formality to the statement, avoiding an informal expression.

  4. "drop in societies’ communication skills" -> "decline in societal communication skills"
    Explanation: Changing "drop in societies’ communication skills" to "decline in societal communication skills" improves the formal tone and ensures proper grammar and word choice.

  5. "unsuitable education" -> "inadequate educational practices"
    Explanation: Substituting "unsuitable education" with "inadequate educational practices" provides a more precise and formal description, avoiding a vague term.

  6. "not paying much attention" -> "insufficient emphasis"
    Explanation: Replacing "not paying much attention" with "insufficient emphasis" improves the precision of the statement and aligns with academic language standards.

  7. "mobile phone calls" -> "telephone conversations"
    Explanation: Changing "mobile phone calls" to "telephone conversations" adds formality and avoids the colloquialism associated with "mobile phone calls."

  8. "self-centered" -> "individually focused"
    Explanation: Substituting "self-centered" with "individually focused" maintains a formal tone and avoids a potentially negative connotation.

  9. "working alone their productivity is not as good as when they are working in a team" -> "working alone, their productivity is not as high as when they collaborate in a team setting."
    Explanation: Restructuring the sentence improves clarity and formality, providing a more precise expression of the idea.

  10. "carry a work-life balance" -> "maintain a balance between work and personal life"
    Explanation: Changing "carry a work-life balance" to "maintain a balance between work and personal life" offers a more formal and precise phrasing while retaining the intended meaning.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both parts of the prompt. It discusses the main causes of the lack of soft skills, attributing it to the pandemic, unsuitable education, and technological advancements. The effects of this issue, such as decreased productivity and hindrance to organizational success, are also explored.
    • How to improve: While the essay is comprehensive, providing more specific examples or statistical evidence to support the points would enhance the depth of the analysis.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position by emphasizing the importance of soft skills in the job market and highlighting the negative consequences of their absence. The stance is consistent throughout the essay.
    • How to improve: To further strengthen the position, consider explicitly stating the author’s viewpoint in the introduction and conclusion.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively presents, extends, and supports ideas. For instance, it elaborates on the causes of the problem, such as the impact of the pandemic, inadequate education, and technological distractions. Examples, like the fear of idea theft affecting teamwork, enhance the overall development.
    • How to improve: Adding more specific examples or real-world scenarios would provide additional support to the ideas presented.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, discussing the causes and effects of the lack of soft skills. However, there are slight deviations, such as briefly touching on the importance of work-life balance and healthy relationships in the conclusion.
    • How to improve: While the mentioned concepts are relevant, it would be beneficial to tie them back explicitly to the main topic of soft skills, reinforcing the central theme.

Overall Comments:
The essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the prompt, effectively addressing both the causes and effects of the lack of soft skills. The analysis is thorough, with well-constructed arguments and examples. To further enhance the response, consider providing more specific examples, explicitly stating the author’s viewpoint, and reinforcing the central theme in the conclusion. Overall, a well-executed essay deserving of the given Band Score of 8.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable level of logical organization. It starts with a clear introduction discussing the importance of soft skills, followed by two body paragraphs that address causes and effects. However, the connection between the pandemic and the drop in communication skills could be more explicitly linked to the overall argument. Also, the conclusion feels abrupt and could better summarize the main points.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical flow, ensure a smoother transition between paragraphs and explicitly connect the pandemic’s impact to the overall argument. In the conclusion, provide a concise summary of the key points discussed in the essay.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively to present distinct ideas. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect, such as the causes related to education and technology, and the effects on teamwork and overall performance. However, the introduction is quite lengthy and could be condensed for better balance.
    • How to improve: Consider shortening the introduction while maintaining clarity. This will create a more balanced structure and engage the reader from the outset. Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and follows a logical sequence of ideas.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay employs cohesive devices adequately, such as transition words and phrases ("Nevertheless," "On the other hand"). However, there’s room for improvement in the use of cohesive devices within paragraphs, especially to connect ideas within sentences more smoothly.
    • How to improve: Increase the use of cohesive devices within sentences for better coherence. For instance, use pronouns or synonyms to refer back to previously mentioned concepts. Additionally, consider more varied transitions for a nuanced and seamless connection between ideas.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a satisfactory range of vocabulary, incorporating words and phrases relevant to the topic. However, there is room for improvement as some key terms are repeated, and certain ideas could be expressed with more diverse language. For instance, the terms "soft skills" and "communication skills" are used repeatedly without much variation.
    • How to improve: To enhance the lexical variety, consider using synonyms and alternative expressions. Instead of relying solely on "soft skills," explore synonyms like interpersonal skills, people skills, or social skills. Additionally, vary sentence structures to showcase a broader range of vocabulary.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary effectively, but there are instances where precision could be improved. For example, the phrase "the pandemic in 2019 due to COVID-19" is redundant, as the pandemic is already associated with COVID-19. Also, there’s an imprecise use of the term "unsuitable education" without specifying what aspects of education are inadequate.
    • How to improve: Strive for clarity and specificity. Instead of redundant phrases, use concise terms. For example, simply refer to the pandemic as "the 2019 pandemic" or "the COVID-19 pandemic." When mentioning education issues, specify areas that need improvement, such as the neglect of social skills in the curriculum or the lack of emphasis on extracurricular activities.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains correct spelling, but there are a few instances of minor errors, such as missing spaces after periods ("2019 due" should be "2019 due"), and the word "engrossed" could be confused with "immersed."
    • How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, proofread the essay carefully, paying attention to spacing and the correct usage of words. Utilize spelling and grammar check tools to catch minor errors. For specific words, such as "engrossed," ensure correct usage or consider alternatives like "immersed" or "absorbed."

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a competent level of lexical resource, further attention to vocabulary variety, precision, and spelling accuracy will contribute to an improved overall score.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of sentence structures. There is effective use of complex sentences, such as in the opening statement. However, there is a tendency to rely on simple sentence structures, and the essay could benefit from more varied sentence types, including compound-complex structures. The overall flow is somewhat predictable, and more intricate structures could add depth to the writing.
    • How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, consider incorporating more complex sentences that involve subordination and coordination. Experiment with combining ideas in a single sentence to achieve a smoother and more sophisticated flow. For instance, instead of relying on straightforward statements, explore the use of relative clauses, appositives, or parallel structures to bring a higher level of complexity and engagement to the text.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a good level of grammatical accuracy. However, there are instances of minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. For example, in the sentence, "The pandemic in 2019 due to COVID-19 played a big role in the drop in societies’ communication skills and teamwork," the phrase "drop in societies’" is unclear and could be revised for better clarity. Additionally, there are punctuation errors, such as missing commas or incorrect use of conjunctions in a few places.
    • How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, pay close attention to sentence structure and clarity. Proofread the essay carefully to identify and rectify any grammatical errors or awkward phrasing. Focus on maintaining consistency in verb tense and subject-verb agreement. Regarding punctuation, be vigilant about using commas appropriately to aid comprehension and to clarify the relationships between ideas. Carefully review conjunction usage to ensure coherence between sentences and ideas.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid command of grammatical structures, there is room for improvement in terms of diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical accuracy. Incorporating a wider variety of sentence types and carefully proofreading for grammatical precision will contribute to further enhancing the overall quality of the essay.

Bài sửa mẫu

In the contemporary job market, possessing robust soft skills can be a decisive factor in securing employment. Employers often give precedence to candidates demonstrating excellent communication and teamwork abilities, as these qualities play a significant role in a company’s overall success. Soft skills are, indeed, deemed more valuable than formal qualifications or technical expertise.

The 2019 pandemic caused by COVID-19 has had a notable impact on the decline in societal communication skills and teamwork. An underlying cause of this issue is inadequate educational practices. There are various factors contributing to the insufficient emphasis on developing social skills, encompassing schools, teachers, and parents. Academic knowledge is predominantly considered the essential understanding in schools, prompting students to dedicate their time to subjects like math and physics. Parents, too, often encourage academic pursuits over activities that foster soft skills, such as playing with friends or engaging in clubs.

The rapid technological advancements of recent times have also played a role in this scenario. With the proliferation of smartphones, tablets, and laptops, communication has become more accessible. However, this ease of communication has led to individuals becoming more individually focused, opting for mobile phone calls over face-to-face interactions. Moreover, the reluctance to share plans in a team setting due to fears of idea theft hinders the collaborative process. Conversely, employees not adept in team building or collaboration may experience lower productivity, affecting both individual performance and the organization as a whole. When working alone, productivity tends to be lower than when collaborating within a team. Consequently, project delays may impact the overall standing of the company or organization.

In conclusion, it is crucial for employees to strike a balance between work and personal life and cultivate healthy relationships with colleagues to address the decline in soft skills.

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