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Individuals can do nothing to improve the environment. Only governments and large companies can make a difference. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Individuals can do nothing to improve the environment. Only governments and large companies can make a difference. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some argue that individuals play no role in environmental preservation and that only the government and businesses can enhance the quality of natural habitats. Nonetheless, I strongly disagree with this idea.

Granted, detractors may argue that individual efforts are redundant in environmental conservation. The protection of nature, they say, often necessitates significant financial resources, so only organizations driven by financial motives can meet this requisite demand and make a difference. However, this line of reasoning is not sound, as it fails to factor in the complexity of environmental problems. Since these issues, such as air pollution and water supply scarcity, result from widespread human activities, it is unrealistic to expect only these entities—a segment of the population with affluent financial status—can fully address the whole population’s consequences. This underscores the fact that organizations' endeavors to safeguard the biosystem may prove futile without public support.

Therefore, I believe individuals can also play a crucial role in combating environmental problems by liaising with companies and the authorities. While the citizenry can tailor their habits to more environmentally friendly ones, such as traveling to work by public transportation or limiting their energy consumption, the government and large corporations can enforce stricter regulations and transition to sustainable alternatives, such as renewable energy sources or eco-friendly manufacturing processes. Consider, for instance, Singapore, which is the greenest country in the world. Through the awareness-raising campaigns launched by the government and cooperation between citizens and organizations, this country has successfully combated pollution and become salubrious, which is incredible in this increasingly globalized world. This example elucidates that the role of individual efforts in sustaining and protecting the environment is inarguable.

In conclusion, it is a mistake to assume that individuals play no role in improving the quality of the environment. While attempts from the authorities and big companies may be ineffective in combating environmental issues, the involvement and support of the public would make this more achievable.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "Some argue" -> "Some individuals argue"
    Explanation: Adding "individuals" clarifies the subject of the argument, enhancing the formality and specificity of the statement.

  2. "play no role" -> "have no role"
    Explanation: "Have no role" is a more formal and precise expression than "play no role," aligning better with academic style.

  3. "enhance the quality of natural habitats" -> "improve the quality of natural habitats"
    Explanation: "Improve" is a more commonly used term in academic contexts when discussing environmental conservation, making it more suitable for formal writing.

  4. "detractors may argue" -> "critics may argue"
    Explanation: "Critics" is a more precise term than "detractors," which can sound slightly informal and vague in this context.

  5. "redundant" -> "ineffective"
    Explanation: "Ineffective" is more specific and academically appropriate than "redundant," which can imply unnecessary repetition rather than lack of impact.

  6. "driven by financial motives" -> "motivated by financial considerations"
    Explanation: "Motivated by financial considerations" is a more formal and precise way to describe the motivations of organizations.

  7. "meet this requisite demand" -> "address this necessary demand"
    Explanation: "Address" is more commonly used in formal writing to describe actions taken to meet needs or challenges, making it more suitable than "meet."

  8. "affluent financial status" -> "financial resources"
    Explanation: "Financial resources" is a more formal and precise term than "affluent financial status," which can sound redundant and informal.

  9. "tailor their habits" -> "modify their habits"
    Explanation: "Modify" is a more formal synonym for "tailor," fitting better in an academic context.

  10. "traveling to work by public transportation" -> "using public transportation for daily commutes"
    Explanation: "Using public transportation for daily commutes" is more specific and formal, enhancing clarity and precision.

  11. "limiting their energy consumption" -> "reducing their energy consumption"
    Explanation: "Reducing" is a more precise term in the context of decreasing energy usage, aligning better with formal language.

  12. "enforce stricter regulations" -> "implement stricter regulations"
    Explanation: "Implement" is a more formal term than "enforce" when referring to the process of putting regulations into effect.

  13. "transition to sustainable alternatives" -> "adopt sustainable alternatives"
    Explanation: "Adopt" is a more precise term in this context, indicating a deliberate choice of sustainable practices.

  14. "salubrious" -> "healthy"
    Explanation: "Salubrious" is an archaic term that may not be familiar to all readers; "healthy" is a more contemporary and universally understood term.

  15. "incredible" -> "remarkable"
    Explanation: "Remarkable" is a more formal and academically appropriate adjective than "incredible," which can sound overly emotional and informal.

  16. "mistake to assume" -> "error to assume"
    Explanation: "Error" is a more precise and formal term than "mistake" in academic writing, particularly when discussing reasoning or conclusions.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 9

Band Score for Task Response: 9

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses the prompt by presenting a clear disagreement with the notion that individuals cannot contribute to environmental improvement. The introduction outlines the opposing viewpoint while establishing the author’s stance. The body paragraphs provide a thorough exploration of how individual actions can complement governmental and corporate efforts, specifically mentioning public transportation and energy consumption as examples. The conclusion succinctly reiterates the author’s position, reinforcing the argument that individual involvement is crucial.
    • How to improve: While the essay comprehensively addresses the prompt, further elaboration on the specific roles that individuals can play, perhaps through more diverse examples or statistics, could enhance the argument. Including a counter-argument that acknowledges potential limitations of individual efforts could also provide a more balanced view.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position throughout, consistently arguing against the idea that individuals are powerless in environmental issues. The use of phrases like "I strongly disagree" and "it is unrealistic to expect only these entities" reinforces the author’s stance. The logical flow from the introduction to the conclusion supports this clarity, making it easy for the reader to follow the argument.
    • How to improve: To further strengthen the clarity of position, the author could use transitional phrases to link ideas more explicitly. For example, reiterating the main argument at the beginning of each body paragraph could help to remind the reader of the central thesis.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents and supports ideas effectively, particularly through the use of examples like Singapore’s environmental initiatives. The author extends the argument by discussing how individual actions can work in tandem with governmental policies, providing a nuanced perspective on the issue. The mention of specific actions individuals can take adds depth to the argument.
    • How to improve: While the examples provided are strong, incorporating additional case studies or data could further substantiate the claims. For instance, referencing studies that quantify the impact of individual actions on environmental outcomes would enhance the persuasive power of the essay.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic throughout, with each paragraph contributing to the central argument. There are no noticeable deviations from the main point, and the discussion consistently revolves around the roles of individuals, governments, and corporations in environmental preservation.
    • How to improve: To ensure continued focus, the author could periodically revisit the prompt within the body paragraphs, explicitly linking back to the question of individual versus collective responsibility. This technique would reinforce the relevance of each point made in the context of the essay prompt.

Overall, this essay demonstrates a high level of proficiency in addressing the Task Response criteria for IELTS, meriting a band score of 9. The arguments are well-structured, clearly articulated, and effectively supported, making a compelling case for the importance of individual contributions to environmental improvement.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear argument against the notion that only governments and large companies can improve the environment. The introduction effectively sets up the discussion, and the body paragraphs logically follow the argument. The first body paragraph addresses the counterargument, providing a nuanced view of why individual efforts are essential. The second body paragraph reinforces the main argument by illustrating how individual actions can complement governmental and corporate efforts, using Singapore as a relevant example. This logical progression enhances the reader’s understanding of the argument.
    • How to improve: To further enhance logical organization, consider using clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to explicitly state the main idea that will be discussed. This would help guide the reader more effectively through the argument. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next can reinforce the overall coherence of the essay.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay is well-structured with distinct paragraphs that each focus on a specific aspect of the argument. The introduction, two body paragraphs, and conclusion are clearly delineated, making it easy for the reader to follow the writer’s line of reasoning. Each paragraph maintains a clear focus, contributing to the overall argument without straying off-topic.
    • How to improve: While the paragraphing is effective, consider varying the length and structure of the paragraphs to create a more dynamic reading experience. For instance, the second body paragraph could be split into two shorter paragraphs: one focusing on individual actions and the other on the role of governments and corporations. This would allow for a more in-depth exploration of each point while maintaining clarity.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay employs a variety of cohesive devices, such as "Granted," "However," "Therefore," and "Consider, for instance," which effectively link ideas and arguments. These devices help to clarify relationships between sentences and paragraphs, contributing to the overall coherence of the essay. The use of examples, particularly the reference to Singapore, serves as a strong cohesive element that reinforces the argument.
    • How to improve: To further diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating more varied linking phrases and transitional words. For instance, using phrases like "In addition," "Conversely," or "On the other hand" can enhance the flow of ideas and provide clearer contrasts or connections between points. Additionally, ensuring that cohesive devices are not overused in a way that feels repetitive can help maintain the reader’s engagement.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of coherence and cohesion, with logical organization, effective paragraphing, and a good range of cohesive devices. Implementing the suggested improvements could elevate the essay’s clarity and engagement further, potentially enhancing its overall effectiveness.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with terms such as "environmental preservation," "financial resources," "public support," and "eco-friendly manufacturing processes." These choices show an ability to discuss the topic with appropriate terminology. However, there are instances where vocabulary could be more varied. For example, the repeated use of "individuals" and "government" could be replaced with synonyms or paraphrased to enhance lexical diversity.
    • How to improve: To improve, consider using synonyms or related phrases to avoid repetition. For instance, instead of repeatedly saying "individuals," you could use "citizens," "members of society," or "the public." Additionally, explore more specific terms related to environmental issues, such as "sustainability," "biodiversity," or "conservation efforts," to enrich the vocabulary further.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary accurately, with phrases like "financial motives" and "environmentally friendly habits" effectively conveying the intended meaning. However, there are moments where precision could be enhanced. For example, the phrase "the quality of natural habitats" could be more specifically articulated as "the integrity of ecosystems" to better reflect the environmental context.
    • How to improve: To improve precision, focus on selecting words that convey the exact meaning you intend. For instance, instead of "enhance the quality of natural habitats," consider using "preserve biodiversity" or "protect ecosystems." This not only clarifies your argument but also demonstrates a deeper understanding of the subject matter.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a high level of spelling accuracy, with no noticeable errors in the text. Words like "conservation," "redundant," and "affluent" are spelled correctly, contributing to the overall clarity and professionalism of the writing.
    • How to improve: While spelling is strong, it is always beneficial to maintain this level of accuracy. To ensure continued success, consider implementing a proofreading strategy, such as reading the essay aloud or using spell-check tools. Additionally, familiarize yourself with commonly misspelled words in academic writing to further enhance your spelling skills.

In summary, the essay demonstrates a solid command of vocabulary, with room for improvement in range and precision. By diversifying word choice and ensuring precise usage, as well as maintaining high spelling standards, the essay could achieve an even higher band score in the Lexical Resource criteria.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures, including complex and compound sentences. For example, the use of phrases such as "the protection of nature, they say, often necessitates significant financial resources" showcases an effective combination of clauses. Additionally, the sentence "This underscores the fact that organizations’ endeavors to safeguard the biosystem may prove futile without public support" effectively integrates multiple ideas into a single, coherent thought. However, there are instances where the sentence structure could be more varied, particularly in the use of shorter, impactful sentences to emphasize key points.
    • How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, consider incorporating more simple sentences for emphasis, especially when presenting strong opinions or conclusions. For instance, instead of consistently using complex sentences, try breaking some of them down into shorter statements that can stand alone for greater impact. This will not only diversify the structure but also improve readability.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a high level of grammatical accuracy, with only minor errors that do not impede understanding. For example, the phrase "this line of reasoning is not sound" is clear and grammatically correct. However, there are some punctuation issues, such as the lack of a comma before "which is incredible in this increasingly globalized world," which would clarify the sentence structure and improve flow. Additionally, the phrase "the citizenry can tailor their habits to more environmentally friendly ones" could benefit from clearer punctuation to separate the clauses more effectively.
    • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy and punctuation skills, pay close attention to the use of commas, especially in complex sentences where clauses are joined. Reviewing rules for comma usage, particularly in lists and before conjunctions in compound sentences, can be beneficial. Additionally, consider reading the essay aloud to identify any awkward phrasing or punctuation that disrupts the flow of ideas.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of grammatical range and accuracy, meriting a band score of 8. By focusing on diversifying sentence structures and refining punctuation, the writer can further enhance the clarity and impact of their arguments.

Bài sửa mẫu

Some individuals argue that individuals have no role in environmental preservation and that only governments and large companies can improve the quality of natural habitats. Nonetheless, I strongly disagree with this perspective.

Granted, critics may argue that individual efforts are ineffective in environmental conservation. They claim that protecting nature often requires significant financialresources, suggesting that only organizations motivated by financial considerations can meet this necessary demand and make a difference. However, this line of reasoning is flawed, as it overlooks the complexity of environmental problems. Since issues such as air pollution and water supply scarcity stem from widespread human activities, it is unrealistic to expect that only these entities—a segment of the population with affluent financial status—can fully address the consequences faced by the entire population. This highlights the fact that organizations’ endeavors to safeguard the biosystem may prove futile without public support.

Therefore, I believe individuals can also play a crucial role in combating environmental problems by collaborating with companies and the authorities. While citizens can modify their habits to adopt more environmentally friendly practices, such as using public transportation for daily commutes or reducing their energy consumption, the government and large corporations can implement stricter regulations and transition to sustainable alternatives, such as renewable energy sources or eco-friendly manufacturing processes. Consider, for instance, Singapore, which is recognized as one of the greenest countries in the world. Through awareness-raising campaigns launched by the government and cooperation between citizens and organizations, this country has successfully addressed pollution and become remarkably healthy, which is impressive in this increasinglyglobalized world. This example illustrates that the role of individual efforts in sustaining and protecting the environment is undeniable.

In conclusion, it is an error to assume that individuals play no role in improving the quality of the environment. While initiatives from the authorities and large companies may be ineffective in combating environmental issues, the involvement and support of the public would make achieving these goals more feasible.

Bài viết liên quan

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more…

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