It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going to university. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?

There is an ongoing debate about whether students should have a gap year before univeristy or not. In this essay, both the advantageous aspects and downsides of this phenomenon will be discussed.
On the one hand, there is two main benefits of having a year off. Students who take a gap year have the time to re-focus before entering universities. To illustrate, many students do not know what do they want to study after leaving high school. Therefore, a calm period of self-exploration can help them gain new perspectives, approach new fields and have more time to decide which path is right for them. Additionally, gap-year students have the time to partake in extracurricular activities to build up their resumes, giving them better career opportunities in the future.
On the other hand, the negative effects of a gap year should not be overlooked. Firstly, gao year programmes may be expensive. Whether taking an adventure around the world to find one's self or setting up charity programmes to build up resumes, there is always the cost to consider. Consequently, students who have poorer background cannot meet the require about the cost. Secondly, it is no fun to feel left behind. The feeling that all friends are going to soon graduate while we are still in universities can often be hard to overcome. Finally, taking a gap year also works on the assumption that one will surely benefit from the experience. This can be a big risk. If the student doesn't learn anything, then one precious year will be lost.
In conclusion, it is undeniable that a gap year is beneficial in terms of students' development and their resumes, while its drawbacks are also significant. It is highly recommended that individuals should make their own decisions based on their own needs.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"There is an ongoing debate" -> "There is an ongoing debate"
Explanation: The phrase "There is an ongoing debate" is grammatically correct and appropriate for academic writing. No change is needed here for clarity or formality.
"univeristy" -> "university"
Explanation: This is a simple spelling correction to ensure the word is correctly spelled.
"both the advantageous aspects and downsides" -> "both the advantages and disadvantages"
Explanation: "Advantageous aspects" is redundant; "advantages" is sufficient and more direct. "Downsides" is also less formal; "disadvantages" is preferred in academic writing.
"there is two main benefits" -> "there are two main benefits"
Explanation: "There is" should be "there are" to agree with the plural noun "benefits."
"do they want to study" -> "what they want to study"
Explanation: "Do they want to study" is grammatically incorrect in this context. "What they want to study" is the correct form.
"a calm period of self-exploration" -> "a period of self-reflection"
Explanation: "Self-exploration" is somewhat vague and informal; "self-reflection" is more precise and academically appropriate.
"partake in extracurricular activities" -> "engage in extracurricular activities"
Explanation: "Partake" is less common in formal academic writing; "engage" is more typical and clear.
"gao year programmes" -> "gap-year programs"
Explanation: "Gao" is a typographical error; "gap-year" is the correct term.
"cannot meet the require about the cost" -> "cannot meet the requirements regarding the cost"
Explanation: "Require" is incorrect; "requirements" is the correct noun form. "Regarding" is more formal than "about."
"it is no fun to feel left behind" -> "it is not enjoyable to feel left behind"
Explanation: "It is no fun" is too informal and vague; "it is not enjoyable" is more precise and formal.
"going to soon graduate" -> "soon graduating"
Explanation: "Going to soon graduate" is awkward and grammatically incorrect. "Soon graduating" is grammatically correct and clearer.
"taking a gap year also works on the assumption" -> "taking a gap year also assumes"
Explanation: "Works on the assumption" is verbose and awkward; "assumes" is more direct and appropriate for academic writing.
"one precious year will be lost" -> "a valuable year will be wasted"
Explanation: "One precious year" is somewhat informal and vague; "a valuable year" is more precise and formal. "Wasted" is a stronger, more academic term than "lost."
"It is highly recommended that individuals should make their own decisions" -> "It is strongly recommended that individuals should make their own decisions"
Explanation: "Highly recommended" is somewhat informal; "strongly recommended" is more forceful and formal, fitting the academic tone better.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of taking a gap year, which is a key requirement of the prompt. The introduction clearly outlines that both sides will be discussed, and the body paragraphs are divided into two distinct sections that present one side of the argument each. The advantages are articulated well, with a focus on self-exploration and resume building. The disadvantages are also covered, including financial concerns and the potential feeling of being left behind. However, the response could benefit from a more balanced treatment of each side, as the advantages are more developed than the disadvantages.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should ensure that both the advantages and disadvantages are given equal weight. This could involve adding more examples or elaborating further on the negative aspects, such as discussing the potential impact on academic performance or the emotional toll of taking a year off.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a generally clear position that acknowledges both sides of the argument. However, the conclusion introduces a somewhat ambiguous recommendation that individuals should make their own decisions based on their needs, which could be interpreted as a lack of a definitive stance on the issue. While it is acceptable to present a balanced view, a stronger personal opinion or a clearer recommendation would enhance the clarity of the position.
- How to improve: The writer could strengthen their position by explicitly stating whether they believe the advantages outweigh the disadvantages or vice versa in the conclusion. This would provide a more definitive end to the discussion and reinforce the essay’s overall argument.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas related to the advantages and disadvantages of a gap year, with some supporting examples. For instance, the mention of self-exploration and resume building are relevant and well-articulated. However, some points, particularly in the disadvantages section, are less developed. The argument about the financial burden is introduced but not sufficiently explored, and the point about feeling left behind could use more depth and examples.
- How to improve: To improve this aspect, the writer should aim to provide more detailed examples and explanations for each point made. For instance, they could elaborate on how financial constraints might limit opportunities for certain students or provide anecdotal evidence of students who felt left behind. This would not only strengthen the arguments but also demonstrate a deeper engagement with the topic.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains largely focused on the topic of gap years, discussing both the advantages and disadvantages as required. However, there are moments where the phrasing could be clearer, such as in the sentence "the feeling that all friends are going to soon graduate while we are still in universities," which could confuse readers regarding the timeline and context. Additionally, the phrase "one precious year will be lost" could be seen as slightly vague and less relevant to the specific context of the disadvantages.
- How to improve: To maintain focus and clarity, the writer should ensure that all statements are directly relevant to the topic and clearly articulated. Simplifying complex phrases and ensuring that all points are directly tied back to the advantages or disadvantages of a gap year will help keep the essay on track. Furthermore, proofreading for clarity and coherence can help eliminate any potential confusion for the reader.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing both advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. The introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion, and the body paragraphs are organized to address one side of the argument before moving to the other. However, the transition between the advantages and disadvantages could be smoother. For instance, the phrase "On the one hand" is followed by "On the other hand," which is appropriate, but the connection between the two sides could be more explicitly stated to enhance the logical flow.
- How to improve: To improve logical organization, consider using transitional phrases that not only indicate a shift in perspective but also relate the two sides of the argument. For example, after discussing the advantages, you might add a sentence that acknowledges the importance of considering the potential downsides before moving on to them.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which aids readability. Each paragraph has a clear main idea, and the points are generally well-developed. However, the second paragraph discussing the disadvantages could benefit from clearer topic sentences that directly relate to the main argument of the paragraph. For instance, starting with a sentence that summarizes the negative impacts of a gap year would provide clarity.
- How to improve: Strengthen paragraph structure by ensuring each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that encapsulates the main idea. Additionally, consider using concluding sentences that summarize the paragraph’s key points, reinforcing the overall argument and aiding the reader’s understanding.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "Firstly," "Secondly," and "Additionally," which help to structure the argument. However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between ideas could be more explicit. For example, the phrase "Consequently" is used, but it could be complemented with additional devices to clarify relationships between points.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a variety of linking words and phrases, such as "Furthermore," "In addition," "On the contrary," and "As a result." This will not only enhance the flow of ideas but also demonstrate a greater command of language. Additionally, consider using pronouns and synonyms to avoid repetition and create smoother transitions between sentences and ideas.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a good level of coherence and cohesion, focusing on enhancing transitions, paragraph structure, and the variety of cohesive devices will help elevate the score further.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms such as "gap year," "self-exploration," "extracurricular activities," and "career opportunities." However, the vocabulary is somewhat repetitive, particularly in the phrases used to describe the advantages and disadvantages. For instance, the phrase "gap year" is used multiple times without variation, and the word "benefits" appears in both the introduction and the body without synonyms or paraphrasing.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, consider using synonyms or related terms. For example, instead of repeatedly using "gap year," you could use "year off," "sabbatical," or "interim period." Additionally, diversify the vocabulary used to describe advantages and disadvantages by incorporating terms like "pros and cons," "merits and demerits," or "positive and negative aspects."
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: While the essay contains some precise vocabulary, there are instances of imprecise usage. For example, the phrase "poorer background" could be more accurately expressed as "students from lower socioeconomic backgrounds." Additionally, the phrase "the feeling that all friends are going to soon graduate while we are still in universities" is awkward and could be clearer. The term "gao year programmes" is a typographical error that detracts from clarity.
- How to improve: Focus on using vocabulary that accurately conveys your intended meaning. For instance, replace "poorer background" with "students from disadvantaged backgrounds" for clarity and precision. Additionally, revise awkward phrases for better flow, such as changing "while we are still in universities" to "while we are still in school" to maintain consistency with the context of the gap year.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors that impact the overall impression. The most notable error is "univeristy," which should be "university." Additionally, "gao year" is a typographical error that should be corrected to "gap year." The phrase "require about the cost" is also unclear and may indicate a misunderstanding of the term "require."
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, consider implementing a proofreading strategy. After writing, take a moment to review the essay for common spelling mistakes. Utilizing spell-check tools or apps can also help catch errors before submission. Furthermore, familiarize yourself with commonly misspelled words related to the topic, such as "university," "program," and "requirement," to avoid these mistakes in the future.

By addressing these areas of improvement, the essay can achieve a higher band score in the Lexical Resource criteria.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For example, the use of complex sentences such as "Students who take a gap year have the time to re-focus before entering universities" effectively conveys more nuanced ideas. However, there are instances of repetitive structures, particularly in the way benefits and drawbacks are introduced. The phrase "there is" is used multiple times, which can make the writing feel formulaic.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, the writer could experiment with starting sentences in different ways. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "there is," the writer could use phrases like "One significant benefit is…" or "An important drawback to consider is…" This approach not only enhances variety but also engages the reader more effectively.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from its overall quality. For example, "two main benefits" should be "two main benefits" (the article "a" is missing). Additionally, the phrase "what do they want to study" should be corrected to "what they want to study." Punctuation errors are present, such as the lack of a comma before "while" in the last sentence of the conclusion, which can lead to confusion in reading.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on proofreading for common errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement and the use of articles. Practicing sentence rephrasing can also help in identifying and correcting awkward constructions. For punctuation, reviewing rules regarding commas, especially in complex sentences, will improve clarity. Furthermore, utilizing grammar checking tools can provide immediate feedback on errors that may be overlooked during manual proofreading.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of grammatical range and accuracy, there are specific areas for improvement that could elevate the score further. By diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical accuracy, the writer can enhance the overall effectiveness of their writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

There is an ongoing debate about whether students should take a gap year before university or not. In this essay, both the advantages and disadvantages of this development will be discussed.

On the one hand, there are two main benefits of having a year off. Students who take a gap year have the time to refocus before entering university. To illustrate, many students do not know what they want to study after leaving high school. Therefore, a calm period of self-reflection can help them gain new perspectives, explore new fields, and have more time to decide which path is right for them. Additionally, gap-year students have the opportunity to engage in extracurricular activities, which can enhance their resumes and provide better career opportunities in the future.

On the other hand, the negative effects of a gap year should not be overlooked. Firstly, gap-year programs may be expensive. Whether taking an adventure around the world to find oneself or setting up charity programs to build up resumes, there are always costs to consider. Consequently, students from poorer backgrounds may find it difficult to meet the financial requirements. Secondly, it is not enjoyable to feel left behind. The feeling that all friends are soon graduating while one is still in university can often be hard to overcome. Finally, taking a gap year also assumes that one will surely benefit from the experience. This can be a significant risk. If the student does not learn anything, then a valuable year may be wasted.

In conclusion, it is undeniable that a gap year can be beneficial in terms of students’ development and their resumes, while its drawbacks are also significant. It is strongly recommended that individuals make their own decisions based on their unique needs.