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It is believed that individuals who engage in reading books can cultivate greater imagination and linguistic abilities than those who prefer television. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is believed that individuals who engage in reading books can cultivate greater imagination and linguistic abilities than those who prefer television. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is widely believed that individuals who engage in reading books can cultivate greater imagination and linguistic abilities compared to those who prefer watching television. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Despite the fact that watching television programs could develop the same skills, I firmly argue that reading brings more benefits, as it not only stimulates creativity but also enhances language competence.

To begin with, reading fosters imagination skills as readers immerse themselves in the content of certain books. Unlike television, where images are provided, readers are compelled to create their own mental images. Gradually, as one forms the habit of reading, a series of mental images unfolds in their mind. This active technique spontaneously enhances an individual's logical thinking, a quality less likely to be achieved through watching television. Thus, only reading is likely to contribute significantly to the development of skills crucial for academic pursuits.

Moreover, books play a crucial role in developing vocabulary and lexical skills. Books serve as excellent references containing phrases and sentences crafted by writers who have already achieved linguistic proficiency. By studying and reading these examples, one can acquire a vast vocabulary, which is foundational for language learning in various sectors. For instance, in academic settings, students are consistently encouraged to read and summarize or write essays rather than watching documentaries or films. Therefore, allocating time to reading, rather than watching television for lexical purposes, proves to be a more effective choice.

In conclusion, reading should be considered a necessary hobby for everyone. I firmly support the assertion that those engaging in reading books can benefit from abilities such as imagination and language use.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

  1. "Despite the fact that watching television programs could develop the same skills, I firmly argue that reading brings more benefits, as it not only stimulates creativity but also enhances language competence."
    -> "Despite the potential skill development from watching television programs, I contend that reading offers greater benefits, stimulating creativity and enhancing language competence."
    Explanation: The original sentence is clear but could benefit from a more concise and formal expression. The suggested alternatives maintain clarity while using more sophisticated language.

  2. "Unlike television, where images are provided, readers are compelled to create their own mental images."
    -> "In contrast to television, which provides images, readers are prompted to generate their own mental imagery."
    Explanation: The suggested changes enhance formality by replacing "compelled" with "prompted" and restructuring the sentence for better flow.

  3. "Gradually, as one forms the habit of reading, a series of mental images unfolds in their mind."
    -> "Over time, as individuals cultivate a reading habit, a succession of mental images unfolds in their minds."
    Explanation: The use of "individuals" is more formal than "one." The adjustment of "their mind" to "their minds" ensures grammatical accuracy.

  4. "This active technique spontaneously enhances an individual’s logical thinking, a quality less likely to be achieved through watching television."
    -> "This active technique enhances logical thinking, a quality less likely to be attained through watching television."
    Explanation: The term "spontaneously" is removed for conciseness. The revised sentence maintains a formal tone while eliminating unnecessary words.

  5. "Thus, only reading is likely to contribute significantly to the development of skills crucial for academic pursuits."
    -> "Hence, exclusive engagement in reading is likely to significantly contribute to the development of skills crucial for academic pursuits."
    Explanation: The term "Thus" is replaced with "Hence" for a more formal transition. The phrase "only reading" is expanded for clarity and formality.

  6. "Moreover, books play a crucial role in developing vocabulary and lexical skills."
    -> "Furthermore, books play a pivotal role in cultivating vocabulary and lexical skills."
    Explanation: The term "crucial" is replaced with "pivotal" for a more formal and precise expression.

  7. "By studying and reading these examples, one can acquire a vast vocabulary, which is foundational for language learning in various sectors."
    -> "Analyzing and studying these examples enables individuals to acquire an extensive vocabulary, foundational for language acquisition in diverse fields."
    Explanation: The term "By studying and reading" is replaced with "Analyzing and studying" for conciseness and precision. The phrase "language learning" is refined to "language acquisition in diverse fields" for a more comprehensive expression.

  8. "For instance, in academic settings, students are consistently encouraged to read and summarize or write essays rather than watching documentaries or films."
    -> "For example, within academic environments, students are consistently urged to engage in reading, summarizing, and essay writing instead of watching documentaries or films."
    Explanation: "For instance" is replaced with "For example" for a more formal tone. The list of activities is expanded for clarity and completeness.

  9. "Therefore, allocating time to reading, rather than watching television for lexical purposes, proves to be a more effective choice."
    -> "Hence, dedicating time to reading, as opposed to watching television for lexical purposes, proves to be a more effective decision."
    Explanation: The term "allocating" is replaced with "dedicating" for a more formal choice of words. The phrase "more effective choice" is refined to "more effective decision" for precision and formality.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses all parts of the question. It acknowledges the belief and provides a clear stance on the extent to which the author agrees, supporting the position with relevant arguments.
    • How to improve: The essay is strong in this aspect. To further enhance, consider incorporating a brief counterargument to demonstrate a nuanced understanding of the topic.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear and consistent position by asserting the benefits of reading over watching television for imagination and linguistic abilities. Each paragraph reinforces this stance.
    • How to improve: To further strengthen, ensure that the thesis statement in the introduction explicitly states the position to guide the reader from the outset.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents, extends, and supports ideas effectively. Examples and reasoning are provided for both imagination and linguistic abilities, demonstrating a well-developed argument.
    • How to improve: Continue to elaborate on the examples given, providing more depth to further substantiate the points made.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay consistently stays on topic, addressing the advantages of reading over television for imagination and language skills without deviating.
    • How to improve: Maintain this focus and consider briefly addressing potential counterarguments to showcase a comprehensive understanding of the topic.

Overall, this essay demonstrates a strong command of task response criteria. It effectively addresses the prompt, maintains a clear position throughout, presents well-developed ideas with appropriate support, and stays on topic. To improve, consider incorporating a brief counterargument in the introduction and providing more depth in examples to further enhance the argument’s persuasiveness.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable level of logical organization. The introduction sets up the argument clearly, the body paragraphs follow a logical progression, and the conclusion effectively summarizes the key points without introducing new ideas. For instance, the essay starts by presenting the belief and the writer’s stance, followed by separate paragraphs elaborating on imagination skills and language competence. This contributes to a coherent flow of ideas.
    • How to improve: To further enhance logical organization, consider reinforcing the connection between paragraphs. Use transitional phrases or sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader smoothly through the progression of ideas. For instance, explicitly signaling the transition from discussing imagination skills to language competence can strengthen the overall coherence.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay utilizes paragraphs effectively. Each paragraph is dedicated to a specific aspect of the argument, contributing to a clear structure. The introduction and conclusion are appropriately concise, and body paragraphs are sufficiently developed. However, some paragraph lengths could be more balanced, with the second body paragraph being notably longer than the others.
    • How to improve: Maintain a consistent paragraph length to ensure a more balanced presentation. This can be achieved by either expanding on points in shorter paragraphs or condensing information in longer ones. Aim for a more even distribution to enhance the visual appeal and flow of the essay.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay employs a variety of cohesive devices, including transition words and phrases such as "To begin with," and "Moreover." These aid in signaling the organization of ideas and create a smooth flow between sentences and paragraphs. Additionally, pronouns and referencing (e.g., "this active technique") contribute to the overall coherence.
    • How to improve: While the cohesive devices used are effective, consider introducing a broader range of linking words to add nuance to the connections between ideas. Experiment with synonyms for commonly used transitional phrases to add diversity and sophistication to the essay’s language.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of coherence and cohesion, achieving a band score of 7. To elevate the score, focus on reinforcing paragraph transitions, balancing paragraph lengths, and experimenting with a wider range of cohesive devices.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonably wide range of vocabulary. There is an attempt to use varied words and phrases, contributing to a generally effective lexical resource. For example, the essay uses words such as "immerse," "compelled," and "spontaneously," showcasing a decent breadth of vocabulary.
    • How to improve: To further enhance the range of vocabulary, consider incorporating more specialized or nuanced terms related to the topic. Additionally, explore synonyms for commonly used words to add diversity without compromising clarity.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary in a precise manner, effectively conveying the intended meaning. For instance, the use of "logical thinking" and "linguistic proficiency" demonstrates precision in articulating specific ideas.
    • How to improve: Continue to focus on using precise vocabulary, especially in academic contexts. Consider replacing general terms with more specific ones to add depth and clarity to your arguments. For example, specifying the type of linguistic proficiency or the aspects of logical thinking being referred to can enhance precision.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: Spelling accuracy is generally good throughout the essay. There are no major spelling errors that detract from the overall readability or comprehension.
    • How to improve: While spelling is proficient, always proofread your work to catch any potential errors that might have been overlooked. Consider using spelling and grammar-check tools to ensure a flawless final draft. Additionally, pay attention to homophones (words that sound the same but have different meanings and spellings) to avoid any inadvertent errors.

In summary, the essay exhibits a commendable level of lexical resource, contributing to an overall band score of 6. To further elevate the lexical quality, focus on incorporating a broader range of vocabulary, using more specialized terms where appropriate, and maintaining consistent attention to spelling accuracy. Keep refining your lexical choices to align with the precision expected in academic writing.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a commendable variety of sentence structures, including complex and compound sentences. For instance, the author effectively employs a conditional sentence ("Despite the fact that watching television programs could develop the same skills…") and a contrastive sentence structure ("Unlike television, where images are provided…"). The essay demonstrates a skillful use of conjunctions and transitional phrases to connect ideas and maintain coherence.
    • How to improve: While the essay generally excels in employing diverse sentence structures, there is room for enhancing the use of advanced sentence types, such as inversion or parallelism, to add sophistication. Introducing occasional rhetorical questions or exclamatory sentences could further enhance the overall variety.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay showcases strong grammatical accuracy, with well-constructed sentences and precise word choices. Instances of correct subject-verb agreement, proper use of tenses, and accurate pronoun references are evident throughout the essay. Punctuation, including commas and periods, is consistently used accurately.
    • How to improve: While the essay maintains grammatical accuracy, some sentences could be more concise without affecting clarity. Encourage a careful review to ensure that complex sentences are not unnecessarily convoluted. Additionally, consider incorporating a few advanced punctuation marks like semicolons or dashes to elevate the overall punctuation skills.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid command of grammatical range and accuracy. The advice for improvement primarily focuses on refining an already strong foundation, urging the writer to experiment with more advanced sentence structures and fine-tune punctuation for added sophistication.

Bài sửa mẫu

It is widely believed that individuals who engage in reading books can cultivate greater imagination and linguistic abilities compared to those who prefer watching television. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Despite the fact that watching television programs could develop the same skills, I firmly argue that reading brings more benefits, as it not only stimulates creativity but also enhances language competence.

To begin with, reading fosters imagination skills as readers immerse themselves in the content of certain books. Unlike television, where images are provided, readers are compelled to create their own mental images. Gradually, as one forms the habit of reading, a series of mental images unfolds in their mind. This active technique spontaneously enhances an individual’s logical thinking, a quality less likely to be achieved through watching television. Thus, exclusive engagement in reading is likely to significantly contribute to the development of skills crucial for academic pursuits.

Furthermore, books play a crucial role in developing vocabulary and lexical skills. Books serve as excellent references containing phrases and sentences crafted by writers who have already achieved linguistic proficiency. By studying and reading these examples, one can acquire a vast vocabulary, which is foundational for language learning in various sectors. For instance, in academic settings, students are consistently encouraged to read and summarize or write essays rather than watching documentaries or films. Therefore, dedicating time to reading, rather than watching television for lexical purposes, proves to be a more effective choice.

In conclusion, reading should be considered a necessary hobby for everyone. I firmly support the assertion that those engaging in reading books can benefit from abilities such as imagination and language use.

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