fbpx

It is believed that individuals who engage in reading books can cultivate greater imagination and linguistic abilities than those who prefer television. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is believed that individuals who engage in reading books can cultivate greater imagination and linguistic abilities than those who prefer television. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is a wide view held among individuals that readers can boost their creativity and make an improvement for their language-related abilities than those involved watching. From my vantage point, I am wholly convinced by this notion for the reasons below.

The primary justification behind my statement relates to imaginative cultivation. That is to say, bookworms have a knack to widen their horizons in numerous fields for the reason that they can comprehend all of the contexts and concepts delivered in a book. This is specifically the case for a student immersing in science-fiction novels which enable them to comfortably think up more stories by themselves. However, watching television is regarded as a passive activity as a result to limit our creativity by distractions from commercial series than education-based ones and also waste time somehow.

Another reason in favor of reading benefits is linguistic skills. Those pay heed to advanced range of vocabulary and grammatical use in a way that they can apply their expertise for writing and speaking, which is exceedingly beneficial for either authors or novel writers. On the contrary, it is undeniable that watching TV becomes a form of entertainment due to exposure too much to verbal language, which is informal to utilize for academic purposes. In fact, readers who are good at language are more highly evaluated than those spending time watching TV in Vietnam due to their qualifications and abilities that are appreciated by the society.

To recapitulate, the benefits of reading could go far beyond that of watching TV in terms of the public’s developing imagination and language skills.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

  1. "There is a wide view held among individuals" -> "There is a widely held belief among individuals"
    Explanation: Replacing "wide view held" with "widely held belief" eliminates redundancy and presents the idea in a more concise and formal manner.

  2. "make an improvement for their language-related abilities than those involved watching" -> "enhance their language-related abilities compared to those who watch"
    Explanation: The suggested revision provides a clearer and more direct expression, avoiding unnecessary complexity in the original phrase.

  3. "From my vantage point" -> "In my perspective"
    Explanation: While "vantage point" is not incorrect, "In my perspective" is a more straightforward and commonly used expression in academic writing.

  4. "The primary justification behind my statement" -> "The main rationale supporting my assertion"
    Explanation: Substituting "justification" with "rationale" and "behind" with "supporting" adds precision and formality to the sentence.

  5. "bookworms have a knack to widen their horizons" -> "avid readers have the ability to broaden their horizons"
    Explanation: Using "avid readers" instead of "bookworms" and "ability" instead of "knack" contributes to a more polished and formal tone.

  6. "This is specifically the case for a student immersing in science-fiction novels which enable them to comfortably think up more stories by themselves." -> "This is particularly true for students immersed in science-fiction novels, enabling them to creatively generate additional narratives."
    Explanation: The revision improves clarity and formality by restructuring the sentence and using more precise language.

  7. "watching television is regarded as a passive activity as a result to limit our creativity" -> "watching television is considered a passive activity that hinders creativity"
    Explanation: The suggested changes enhance clarity by rephrasing the sentence and using more precise language.

  8. "distractions from commercial series than education-based ones and also waste time somehow" -> "distractions from commercial series rather than educational ones, leading to a wastage of time"
    Explanation: The revised sentence offers a more structured and formal expression by addressing the comparison and avoiding vague terms like "somehow."

  9. "Another reason in favor of reading benefits is linguistic skills." -> "Another supporting factor for the benefits of reading is the enhancement of linguistic skills."
    Explanation: The revision adds clarity and formality by rephrasing the sentence to convey the idea more explicitly.

  10. "which is exceedingly beneficial for either authors or novel writers." -> "which is highly advantageous for both authors and novelists."
    Explanation: Replacing "exceedingly beneficial" with "highly advantageous" maintains the emphasis on the positive impact while using a more formal term.

  11. "watching TV becomes a form of entertainment due to exposure too much to verbal language" -> "watching TV becomes a form of entertainment due to excessive exposure to verbal language"
    Explanation: The suggested change addresses the issue of excessive exposure more precisely, contributing to a clearer expression.

  12. "readers who are good at language are more highly evaluated than those spending time watching TV in Vietnam due to their qualifications and abilities that are appreciated by the society." -> "proficient readers are more highly esteemed than individuals who dedicate their time to watching TV in Vietnam, given their qualifications and abilities valued by society."
    Explanation: The revision enhances formality and clarity by using "proficient readers" instead of "readers who are good at language" and rephrasing the latter part of the sentence.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses all parts of the question. It discusses both the imaginative cultivation and linguistic skills gained through reading books, as compared to watching television. Relevant examples, such as the impact of science-fiction novels on creativity, support the argument.

    • How to improve: While the essay comprehensively addresses the question, there is room for improvement in providing more specific examples. Adding specific instances of how reading enhances imagination and linguistic abilities would strengthen the argument further.

  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear and consistent position throughout. The writer is wholly convinced of the benefits of reading over watching TV, and this stance is evident in the thesis statement and consistently supported in the body paragraphs.

    • How to improve: To enhance clarity, consider reinforcing the thesis statement in the conclusion, summarizing the key points that support the preference for reading. This will leave a lasting impression on the reader.

  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively presents, extends, and supports ideas. The argument is well-developed, with explanations on how reading widens horizons and enhances linguistic skills. Examples, such as the impact on vocabulary and grammatical use, strengthen the points made.

    • How to improve: To further extend ideas, consider delving deeper into the potential drawbacks of watching TV in terms of language skills. Adding a counterargument and refuting it would demonstrate a more nuanced understanding of the topic.

  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay stays on topic throughout, discussing the benefits of reading compared to watching TV. There are no significant deviations from the prompt.

    • How to improve: To maintain focus, ensure that each example and argument directly relates to the prompt. While the essay is generally on track, refining the connection between examples and the prompt would strengthen coherence.

Overall Comments:

This essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the prompt and effectively supports the position with relevant examples. To enhance the response, consider providing more specific instances and delving deeper into counterarguments. Additionally, reinforcing the thesis in the conclusion and refining the connection between examples and the prompt would contribute to an even more cohesive and compelling essay.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a clear organizational structure, with a well-defined introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the argument, starting with the benefits of reading in terms of imaginative cultivation and then moving on to linguistic skills. The use of examples to support the points enhances the logical flow of the essay.
    • How to improve: While the essay is logically organized, consider refining the introduction to provide a more concise preview of the main points to guide the reader. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, reinforcing the overall coherence of the essay.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to present distinct ideas. Each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence, followed by supporting details and examples. However, there is room for improvement in terms of varied sentence structures within paragraphs.
    • How to improve: Aim for a greater variety in sentence structures within paragraphs to enhance readability and engage the reader. Introduce complex sentences alongside simpler ones to create a more dynamic writing style.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay employs cohesive devices, such as transition words and phrases, to connect ideas within and between paragraphs. Examples include "That is to say," and "Another reason in favor of." These devices contribute to the overall coherence of the essay.
    • How to improve: While cohesive devices are used appropriately, consider expanding the range of linking words to add nuance and sophistication to the essay. Incorporate a mix of conjunctions and transition words to create a seamless flow between ideas. Additionally, pay attention to consistency in their usage throughout the essay.

Overall, the essay effectively organizes information, uses paragraphs to structure ideas, and employs cohesive devices to enhance coherence and cohesion. To achieve a higher band score, focus on refining the introduction, incorporating varied sentence structures, and expanding the range of cohesive devices for a more polished and sophisticated presentation.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with the use of words like "imaginative cultivation," "knack," "comprehend," and "recapitulate." However, the variety is somewhat limited, and there is room for improvement in introducing more sophisticated or contextually fitting words.
    • How to improve: To enhance the score in this criterion, consider incorporating more specialized or nuanced vocabulary. For instance, instead of frequently using "improvement," experiment with terms like "enhancement" or "refinement." Additionally, explore synonyms for common words to add diversity and depth to your expression.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: While the essay generally uses vocabulary appropriately, there are instances where imprecise language is employed. For example, the phrase "readers who are good at language" could be refined to specify the aspect of language proficiency, such as "readers with a strong command of language."
    • How to improve: Aim for precision by choosing words that precisely convey your intended meaning. In the mentioned case, consider specifying the aspect of language skills you want to highlight, such as "readers adept at linguistic nuances."
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "view" instead of "believe," "recapitulate" instead of "recapitulation," and grammatical errors like "make an improvement" should be "make improvements." These errors impact the overall accuracy of the essay.
    • How to improve: Pay close attention to spelling and grammar during the proofreading process. Utilize spelling and grammar check tools, and consider seeking feedback from others to catch errors that might be overlooked. Develop a habit of reviewing your work systematically to identify and correct inaccuracies.

In conclusion, while the essay demonstrates competence in Lexical Resource, there is room for improvement in expanding vocabulary, using words with precision, and enhancing spelling accuracy. These refinements can contribute to a more polished and sophisticated expression of ideas, potentially raising the band score in Lexical Resource.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay displays a reasonably varied range of sentence structures. There is an attempt to use complex sentences, such as the one in the introduction: "There is a wide view held among individuals that readers can boost their creativity and make an improvement for their language-related abilities than those involved watching." However, there is a tendency to overuse certain structures, leading to repetitive patterns, which impacts the overall variety.
    • How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range, consider incorporating a more diverse set of sentence structures. For instance, include compound and complex sentences, utilize different introductory phrases, and experiment with sentence lengths. This will add sophistication to your writing and engage the reader more effectively.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a generally accurate use of grammar and punctuation. However, there are some instances of awkward phrasing and minor grammatical errors that slightly affect the overall coherence. For example, in the sentence, "From my vantage point, I am wholly convinced by this notion for the reasons below," the use of "for the reasons below" is a bit abrupt and could be refined for better clarity.
    • How to improve: Focus on refining the clarity of your sentences by ensuring that each element contributes seamlessly to the overall meaning. Additionally, proofread your essay carefully to catch and correct minor grammatical errors. Pay attention to sentence structure, subject-verb agreement, and the appropriate use of prepositions to enhance overall grammatical accuracy.

In summary, while the essay exhibits proficiency in grammatical range and accuracy, there is room for improvement in diversifying sentence structures and refining the clarity of certain expressions. Incorporating a more extensive range of sentence types and addressing minor grammatical nuances will contribute to an even stronger essay.

Bài sửa mẫu

There is a widely held belief among individuals that readers can enhance their creativity and improve their language-related abilities compared to those who watch television. In my perspective, I am wholly convinced by this notion for the reasons below.

The main rationale supporting my assertion is imaginative cultivation. Avid readers have the ability to broaden their horizons in numerous fields because they can comprehend all of the contexts and concepts delivered in a book. This is particularly true for students immersed in science-fiction novels, enabling them to creatively generate additional narratives. However, watching television is considered a passive activity that hinders creativity. Distractions from commercial series rather than educational ones can lead to a wastage of time.

Another supporting factor for the benefits of reading is the enhancement of linguistic skills. Proficient readers pay heed to an advanced range of vocabulary and grammatical use, allowing them to apply their expertise in writing and speaking. This is highly advantageous for both authors and novelists. On the contrary, watching TV becomes a form of entertainment due to excessive exposure to verbal language, which is informal to utilize for academic purposes.

In my perspective, proficient readers are more highly esteemed than individuals who dedicate their time to watching TV in Vietnam, given their qualifications and abilities valued by society.

To recapitulate, the benefits of reading could go far beyond that of watching TV in terms of the public’s developing imagination and language skills.

Bài viết liên quan

Learner

  • 10 bài chấm/ ngày

  • Tốc độ trả bài chậm

  • Có thể không truy cập được ở giờ cao điểm

Plus

199K

119K/th

  • Không giới hạn bài chấm

  • Tốc độ trả bài nhanh hơn

  • Truy cập 24/7

  • Hoàn tiền 30 ngày

    Bạn được đảm bảo trong 30 ngày đầu tiên được phép hoàn tiền bất kỳ lúc nào với bất kỳ lý do nào.

Best for Teacher

Premium

249K

149K/th

  • Gói Plus

  • Hỗ trợ kĩ thuật

  • Xuất file Word/Google Docs kèm comments: Link Demo

    - Bài chấm sẽ dc xuất kèm comments gợi ý vocab
    - File Word có thể dc up lên Google Docs và các comments sẽ dc giữ nguyên
    - Các comments có thể dc chỉnh sửa theo ý muốn của gv
    - File Word cá nhân hóa & White label

  • Hoàn tiền 30 ngày

    Bạn được đảm bảo trong 30 ngày đầu tiên được phép hoàn tiền bất kỳ lúc nào với bất kỳ lý do nào.

VIP

499K

299K/th

Learner

  • 10 bài chấm/ ngày

  • Tốc độ trả bài chậm

  • Có thể không truy cập được ở giờ cao điểm

Plus

199K

159K/th

  • Không giới hạn bài chấm

  • Tốc độ trả bài nhanh hơn

  • Truy cập 24/7

  • Hoàn tiền 30 ngày

    Bạn được đảm bảo trong 30 ngày đầu tiên được phép hoàn tiền bất kỳ lúc nào với bất kỳ lý do nào.

Best for Teacher

Premium

249K

199K/th

  • Gói Plus

  • Hỗ trợ kĩ thuật

  • Xuất file Word/Google Docs kèm comments: Link Demo

    - Bài chấm sẽ dc xuất kèm comments gợi ý vocab
    - File Word có thể dc up lên Google Docs và các comments sẽ dc giữ nguyên
    - Các comments có thể dc chỉnh sửa theo ý muốn của gv
    - File Word cá nhân hóa & White label

  • Hoàn tiền 30 ngày

    Bạn được đảm bảo trong 30 ngày đầu tiên được phép hoàn tiền bất kỳ lúc nào với bất kỳ lý do nào.

VIP

499K

399K/th

Learner

  • 10 bài chấm/ ngày

  • Tốc độ trả bài chậm

  • Có thể không truy cập được ở giờ cao điểm

Plus

199K/th

  • Không giới hạn bài chấm

  • Tốc độ trả bài nhanh hơn

  • Truy cập 24/7

Best for Teacher

Premium

249K/th

  • Gói Plus

  • Hỗ trợ kĩ thuật

  • Xuất file Word/Google Docs kèm comments: Link Demo

    - Bài chấm sẽ dc xuất kèm comments gợi ý vocab
    - File Word có thể dc up lên Google Docs và các comments sẽ dc giữ nguyên
    - Các comments có thể dc chỉnh sửa theo ý muốn của gv
    - File Word cá nhân hóa & White label

VIP

499K/th

  • Everthing in Premium

  • Hand Writing Image Recognition

  • Better Accuracy with GPT-4

  • Early Access to New features

    - Speaking Feedback

  • Customization

    We help with minor customizations to get it working just right.

  • Support Development of New Features

    • Speaking Practice
    • Classroom Management (e.g., Google Class Room)
    • Reading Practice
    • Listening Practice