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It is better for students to know how to solve problems they will deal with in their future life. Others believe students should learn how to find undiscovered problems. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is better for students to know how to solve problems they will deal with in their future life. Others believe students should learn how to find undiscovered problems. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that students should acquire the ability to resolve future problems they might encounter, while others say that identifying hidden issues would be a worthy capacity for students to learn. Personally, I think they should develop both of these skills due to their long-run outcome.

On the one hand, proponents of preparing students with the ability to solve problems in their future life or career argue that this approach could equip students with knowledge and flexible thinking skills, which may be valuable for them to apply in practical situations such as financial or environmental issues. Provided with these, students would be more and more ready to face a challenge and even capable of overcoming the difficulty successfully. Also, if this method is applied properly, it will foster students’ critical thinking and sharpen their minds, which are essential in any aspect of life.

On the other hand, people who support the idea of encouraging students to learn how to find unidentified issues believe that this approach could offer students with creative and innovative ways of thinking. Especially in the current ever-changing world, the capability to think or deal with a problem in an unconventional way is crucial. By teaching students to adopt this, they would be able to explore their untapped potential. Furthermore, should students achieve this, they will come up with novel ideas and are more likely to find optimal solutions for potential problems coming up.

In my perspective, learning how to deal with future problems or to identify undiscovered problems are both vital for students’ future lives and careers. They provide students with essential skills which are all needed in the long run. In conclusion, this is the reason why I believe students should acquire both of these methods.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "Some people believe" -> "Some individuals contend"
    Explanation: Replacing "Some people believe" with "Some individuals contend" elevates the formality and specificity of the statement, aligning better with academic writing standards.

  2. "might encounter" -> "may encounter"
    Explanation: "Might" is less formal than "may," which is more suitable for academic writing as it conveys a sense of possibility without the emotional connotation of "might."

  3. "identifying hidden issues" -> "identifying latent issues"
    Explanation: "Latent" is a more precise term than "hidden," which is vague and less formal. It implies that the issues are not immediately apparent but can be discovered through analysis or effort.

  4. "Personally, I think" -> "I maintain"
    Explanation: "Personally, I think" is too informal for academic writing. "I maintain" is a more formal expression that asserts a personal opinion in a scholarly context.

  5. "due to their long-run outcome" -> "due to their long-term implications"
    Explanation: "Long-run outcome" is an awkward and unclear phrase. "Long-term implications" is more precise and appropriate for academic discourse, clearly indicating the consequences of a decision or action over an extended period.

  6. "more and more ready" -> "increasingly prepared"
    Explanation: "More and more ready" is informal and repetitive. "Increasingly prepared" is more formal and succinct, enhancing the academic tone.

  7. "even capable of overcoming the difficulty successfully" -> "capable of successfully overcoming the challenges"
    Explanation: The original phrase is awkwardly constructed. The revised version clarifies the meaning and maintains a formal tone by using "challenges" instead of "the difficulty," which is vague and less formal.

  8. "if this method is applied properly" -> "if this approach is implemented effectively"
    Explanation: "Method" is less specific than "approach," and "applied properly" is somewhat informal. "Implemented effectively" is more precise and formal, suitable for academic writing.

  9. "people who support" -> "those who advocate"
    Explanation: "People who support" is informal and vague. "Those who advocate" is more specific and formal, fitting the academic style better.

  10. "could offer students with" -> "could provide students"
    Explanation: "Offer students with" is grammatically incorrect and awkward. "Provide students" is grammatically correct and more formal.

  11. "the capability to think or deal with a problem" -> "the capacity to address or manage a problem"
    Explanation: "Think or deal with" is informal and vague. "Address or manage" are more precise and formal terms, suitable for academic writing.

  12. "should students achieve this" -> "if students achieve this"
    Explanation: "Should" implies obligation, which is not the intended meaning here. "If" correctly indicates a conditional possibility, aligning with the hypothetical scenario discussed.

  13. "In my perspective" -> "From my perspective"
    Explanation: "In my perspective" is grammatically incorrect. "From my perspective" is the correct phrase, enhancing the formality and clarity of the statement.

  14. "learning how to deal with future problems or to identify undiscovered problems" -> "acquiring the skills to address future challenges and identify previously unknown issues"
    Explanation: The original phrase is awkward and repetitive. The revised version is more concise and uses more precise vocabulary, improving the academic tone and clarity.

These changes refine the vocabulary and style to better suit an academic essay, ensuring precision, formality, and clarity.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both sides of the argument regarding whether students should learn to solve future problems or identify undiscovered issues. The introduction clearly outlines the two perspectives, and each viewpoint is discussed in separate paragraphs. The conclusion reiterates the writer’s opinion that both skills are important, which aligns well with the prompt’s requirement to discuss both views and provide a personal opinion.
    • How to improve: To enhance the response, the essay could provide more specific examples or scenarios to illustrate how each skill can be applied in real-life situations. For instance, citing specific professions or contexts where these skills are particularly valuable would strengthen the argument and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the implications of each viewpoint.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The writer maintains a clear position throughout the essay, stating a preference for developing both skills. This is evident in the introduction and reiterated in the conclusion. However, the transition between discussing the two perspectives could be smoother to reinforce the writer’s stance more effectively.
    • How to improve: To improve clarity, the writer could use transitional phrases that explicitly connect the discussion of each viewpoint back to their overall argument. For example, after discussing the benefits of solving future problems, the writer could explicitly state how these benefits complement the ability to identify undiscovered problems.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas clearly, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the argument. However, while the points made are relevant, they could be further developed. For instance, the mention of "financial or environmental issues" is a good start, but it lacks depth and specific examples that would make the argument more compelling.
    • How to improve: The writer should aim to provide more detailed explanations and examples to support their claims. For example, discussing a specific case where critical thinking helped solve a financial issue or where innovative thinking led to a breakthrough in technology could provide stronger support for the arguments presented.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic throughout, discussing the importance of both problem-solving and identifying undiscovered issues. There are no significant deviations from the main topic, and the writer consistently ties back to the central theme of preparing students for future challenges.
    • How to improve: While the essay is generally on topic, the writer should ensure that every point made directly relates back to the prompt. This can be achieved by explicitly linking each argument back to the question of why these skills are essential for students, thus reinforcing the relevance of each point made.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the task and presents a well-structured argument. By incorporating more specific examples, enhancing transitions, and providing deeper support for ideas, the writer could further elevate their score in the Task Response criteria.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure that logically progresses through the discussion of both viewpoints before arriving at a personal opinion. The introduction effectively sets the stage for the argument, while the body paragraphs are dedicated to each perspective, allowing for a balanced examination of the topic. For instance, the first body paragraph discusses the benefits of problem-solving skills, while the second body paragraph highlights the importance of identifying undiscovered problems. This organization helps the reader follow the argument easily.
    • How to improve: To enhance the logical flow further, consider using more explicit linking phrases between ideas and paragraphs. For example, transitioning from discussing one viewpoint to the other could be strengthened by phrases like "Conversely" or "In contrast." Additionally, a clearer thesis statement in the introduction could outline the main points that will be discussed, providing a roadmap for the reader.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively utilizes paragraphs to separate different ideas, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the argument. The first paragraph introduces the topic, the next two paragraphs discuss each viewpoint, and the final paragraph presents the writer’s opinion. This structure aids in clarity and allows the reader to digest information in manageable chunks.
    • How to improve: To further improve paragraphing, ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that encapsulates the main idea of that paragraph. For example, the first sentence of each body paragraph could be more assertive in stating the main argument of that section, which would help in guiding the reader through the essay’s structure.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay employs a variety of cohesive devices, such as "On the one hand," "On the other hand," and "Furthermore," which effectively link ideas within and between paragraphs. These devices help in maintaining the flow of the argument and in connecting related thoughts. The use of phrases like "for example" and "especially" also aids in elaborating on points made.
    • How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating more varied connectors and transition phrases. For instance, using phrases like "In addition," "Moreover," or "As a result" can enhance the richness of the text. Additionally, varying the placement of cohesive devices can create a more dynamic reading experience. For example, instead of placing all cohesive devices at the beginning of sentences, they can also be integrated within the sentences for smoother transitions.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of coherence and cohesion, effectively organizing information and using paragraphs and cohesive devices to support the argument. With slight adjustments in the use of linking phrases and clearer topic sentences, the essay could achieve an even higher level of clarity and sophistication.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a fair range of vocabulary, with phrases such as "resolve future problems," "flexible thinking skills," and "creative and innovative ways of thinking." However, the vocabulary used tends to be somewhat repetitive, particularly in the phrases "students should acquire" and "students should learn," which appear multiple times. This limits the overall lexical variety and makes the writing feel less dynamic.
    • How to improve: To enhance lexical range, the writer should aim to incorporate synonyms and varied expressions. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "students should learn," alternatives like "students ought to develop" or "students must cultivate" could be employed. Additionally, integrating more advanced vocabulary related to problem-solving and critical thinking would elevate the essay’s sophistication.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary accurately, but there are instances of imprecise usage. For example, the phrase "students would be more and more ready to face a challenge" could be more concisely expressed as "students would be better prepared to face challenges." The use of "capability to think or deal with a problem" is also vague; it could be sharpened to "ability to approach problems creatively."
    • How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on clarity and conciseness. Revising sentences to eliminate redundancy and using more specific terms will enhance the overall clarity. For example, instead of "foster students’ critical thinking and sharpen their minds," a more precise phrase could be "enhance students’ critical thinking skills."
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay displays a good level of spelling accuracy, with no noticeable errors in the words used. Terms like "environmental," "unconventional," and "potential" are spelled correctly, which contributes positively to the overall impression of the writing.
    • How to improve: While spelling is generally accurate, the writer should continue to practice spelling through regular reading and writing exercises. Utilizing tools like spell checkers and engaging in vocabulary quizzes can also reinforce spelling skills. Additionally, reviewing commonly misspelled words in academic writing may be beneficial for maintaining high standards of spelling accuracy.

In summary, while the essay meets the criteria for a Band 6 in Lexical Resource, there is room for improvement in vocabulary range, precision, and continued attention to spelling. By diversifying vocabulary, enhancing clarity, and maintaining spelling accuracy, the writer can aim for a higher band score in future essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences and conditional clauses. For instance, phrases like "if this method is applied properly" and "should students achieve this" showcase the use of conditional structures. Additionally, the essay employs a mix of simple and compound sentences, which contributes to a more engaging reading experience. However, there are instances of repetitive sentence beginnings and structures, such as the frequent use of "students" as the subject, which can make the writing feel monotonous.
    • How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, the writer could incorporate more varied sentence openings and use different grammatical forms. For example, instead of repeatedly starting sentences with "students," the writer could use introductory phrases or clauses (e.g., "In many cases, students who learn…"). Additionally, employing passive voice or different conjunctions could further diversify the sentence structures and improve the overall flow of the essay.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally displays a solid command of grammar and punctuation, with few errors that do not impede understanding. For example, the phrase "which may be valuable for them to apply in practical situations" is grammatically correct and effectively conveys the intended meaning. However, there are minor issues, such as the phrase "offer students with creative and innovative ways of thinking," where "offer" should simply be "offer students creative and innovative ways of thinking." Additionally, the use of commas could be improved for clarity, particularly in complex sentences.
    • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on avoiding unnecessary prepositions and ensuring that verb forms are used correctly. A careful proofreading process can help catch these errors. Furthermore, enhancing punctuation skills by reviewing rules on comma usage in complex sentences would aid in clarifying ideas and improving the overall readability of the essay. For instance, ensuring that clauses are properly separated can help delineate ideas more clearly, making the argument more persuasive.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a good level of grammatical range and accuracy, focusing on diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical precision will help elevate the writing to a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

Some individuals contend that students should acquire the ability to resolve future problems they may encounter, while others argue that identifying latent issues would be a valuable skill for students to learn. Personally, I maintain that they should develop both of these skills due to their long-term implications.

On the one hand, proponents of preparing students with the capability to solve problems in their future life or career argue that this approach could equip students with knowledge and flexible thinking skills, which may be valuable for them to apply in practical situations such as financial or environmental challenges. Provided with these skills, students would be increasingly prepared to face difficulties and even capable of successfully overcoming them. Additionally, if this method is implemented effectively, it will foster students’ critical thinking and sharpen their minds, which are essential in any aspect of life.

On the other hand, those who advocate for encouraging students to learn how to find undiscovered issues believe that this approach could provide students with creative and innovative ways of thinking. Especially in the current ever-changing world, the capacity to think or deal with a problem in an unconventional manner is crucial. By teaching students to adopt this mindset, they would be able to explore their untapped potential. Furthermore, if students achieve this, they will generate novel ideas and are more likely to find optimal solutions for potential problems that may arise.

From my perspective, acquiring the skills to address future challenges and identify previously unknown issues is vital for students’ future lives and careers. These skills provide students with essential tools that are necessary in the long run. In conclusion, this is why I believe students should develop both of these competencies.

Bài viết liên quan

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These days,students attend private “cram schools” for extra coaching to make them study better,so that a lot of parents believe they should just let their…

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