It is difficult for people living in cities today to get enough physical exercise. What are the causes? What can be done to solve the problem?

Nowadays, maintaining physical activity is a major challenge for people living in cities today. Fast-paced urban life, stressful work schedules and cramped living conditions mean that many people do not have enough time or resources to exercise. So this essay will tell you about the reason why fewer and fewer people do exercise.

One of the reasons is busy lifestyles, because urban dwellers often have demanding jobs and long working hours. The fast-paced city life leaves little time for physical activity, with people prioritizing work and other responsibilities over exercise. The next is lack of green space, in many cities, access to parks and open spaces for walking, running, or sports is limited. High population density and urban sprawl reduce opportunities for outdoor exercise. The last one is the cost of fitness facilities too high. While gyms exist in cities, they can be expensive and unaffordable for many people. The cost of memberships or equipment may deter people from regular exercise.

There are some solutions for people living in cities to get enough physical exercise. Firstly, government should creating more public fitness space. City planners can focus on developing more accessible parks, outdoor gyms, and recreational spaces. Free or low-cost public exercise classes can also promote community participation and fitness. Secondly, encourage companies to offer shorter and more flexible working hours. apply flexible working hours or allowing teleworking could help urban residents have more time to engage in physical activity.

In conclusion, the lack of physical activity in urban residents is caused by many different factors such as busy lifestyles, limited living environments and other objective factors. However, with practical solutions such as creating more public spaces and promoting active lifestyles, this problem can be completely improved. Raising public awareness of the importance of exercise is also an important step in helping people build healthy lifestyles, even in urban environments.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Nowadays" -> "Currently"
Explanation: "Currently" is a more formal and precise temporal indicator suitable for academic writing, replacing the colloquial "Nowadays."
"maintaining physical activity" -> "engaging in physical activity"
Explanation: "Engaging in physical activity" is a more precise and formal way to describe the act of participating in physical exercise, aligning better with academic style.
"Fast-paced urban life" -> "Fast-paced urban lifestyle"
Explanation: "Lifestyle" is a more specific term that encompasses not only the pace but also the overall quality of life, which is more appropriate in this context.
"stressful work schedules" -> "stressful work schedules"
Explanation: No change needed here as the phrase is already appropriate for formal writing.
"cramped living conditions" -> "constrained living conditions"
Explanation: "Constrained" is a more formal synonym for "cramped," enhancing the academic tone of the text.
"So this essay will tell you about" -> "This essay will discuss"
Explanation: "This essay will discuss" is more direct and formal, avoiding the conversational tone of "So this essay will tell you about."
"fewer and fewer" -> "increasingly fewer"
Explanation: "Increasingly fewer" is a more precise and formal way to describe a decreasing trend, avoiding the awkward construction of "fewer and fewer."
"busy lifestyles" -> "hectic lifestyles"
Explanation: "Hectic" is a more precise adjective that conveys the intensity and stress associated with busy lifestyles, fitting better in an academic context.
"The next is lack of green space" -> "Another factor is the scarcity of green spaces"
Explanation: "Another factor is the scarcity of green spaces" is more formal and precise, improving clarity and formality.
"The last one is the cost of fitness facilities too high" -> "Additionally, the high cost of fitness facilities is a significant barrier"
Explanation: This revision clarifies the sentence structure and uses more formal language, enhancing the academic tone.
"government should creating" -> "governments should create"
Explanation: "Governments" is the correct plural form, and "create" is the correct verb form for the imperative mood, improving grammatical accuracy and formality.
"City planners can focus on developing" -> "City planners should prioritize"
Explanation: "Should prioritize" is a more direct and formal way to express recommendation, aligning better with academic style.
"Free or low-cost public exercise classes" -> "Free or low-cost public exercise programs"
Explanation: "Programs" is a more formal term than "classes," fitting better in an academic context.
"apply flexible working hours" -> "implement flexible working hours"
Explanation: "Implement" is a more precise and formal verb than "apply" in this context, suggesting a deliberate action.
"completely improved" -> "significantly improved"
Explanation: "Significantly" is a more precise and academically appropriate adverb than "completely," which can be seen as overly absolute.
"Raising public awareness" -> "Enhancing public awareness"
Explanation: "Enhancing" is a more precise and formal verb than "raising" in this context, suggesting a more deliberate and sustained effort.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively identifies several causes for the lack of physical exercise among urban residents, including busy lifestyles, lack of green space, and high costs of fitness facilities. However, while it addresses the causes well, the solutions provided are somewhat limited. The essay mentions creating more public fitness spaces and encouraging flexible working hours, but it could benefit from more diverse and specific solutions, such as community initiatives or government policies aimed at promoting physical activity.
- How to improve: To comprehensively address all elements of the question, the writer should aim to provide a wider range of solutions. For instance, discussing the role of schools in promoting physical activity or suggesting partnerships between local governments and fitness organizations could enhance the response. Additionally, providing examples or case studies of cities that have successfully implemented such solutions would strengthen the argument.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position on the challenges faced by urban residents regarding physical exercise. The introduction sets the stage well, and the body paragraphs consistently support the thesis. However, the conclusion could be more assertive in reiterating the importance of addressing the issue, as it somewhat dilutes the overall stance by introducing a more general statement about awareness.
- How to improve: To maintain a clearer and more consistent position throughout the essay, the writer should ensure that the conclusion summarizes the key points more emphatically. Reinforcing the urgency of the issue and the effectiveness of the proposed solutions would create a stronger final impression.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas regarding the causes of insufficient exercise and proposes solutions. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat superficial. For example, while the lack of green space is mentioned, there is no elaboration on how this impacts different demographics or how it could be addressed in various urban contexts.
- How to improve: To effectively present, elaborate, and substantiate ideas, the writer should provide more detailed explanations and examples. For instance, discussing specific cities that have successfully increased green spaces or citing studies that link exercise to mental health could provide stronger support for the claims made.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the causes and solutions related to physical exercise in urban settings. However, there are moments where the language could be more precise. For instance, the phrase "other objective factors" in the conclusion is vague and does not contribute to the clarity of the argument.
- How to improve: To maintain focus and relevance to the topic, the writer should avoid vague language and ensure that all statements are directly related to the main argument. Clarifying terms and providing specific examples will help keep the discussion centered on the prompt.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents relevant ideas, but it would benefit from deeper analysis, more varied solutions, and clearer articulation of its position.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, beginning with an introduction that outlines the problem, followed by well-defined paragraphs that discuss the causes and solutions. Each paragraph addresses a specific point, which contributes to the overall logical flow. For instance, the transition from discussing causes to solutions is smooth, indicating a coherent progression of ideas. However, the introduction could be more precise in stating the specific causes and solutions that will be discussed, which would enhance clarity.
- How to improve: To improve logical organization, consider refining the introduction to explicitly list the causes and solutions that will be addressed. Additionally, using transitional phrases at the beginning of each paragraph (e.g., "Firstly," "Moreover," "In addition") can help guide the reader through the argument more effectively.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which is crucial for coherence. Each paragraph focuses on a single aspect of the topic, making it easier for the reader to follow. However, some paragraphs could be further developed to enhance depth. For example, the paragraph discussing the lack of green space could include specific examples or statistics to strengthen the argument.
- How to improve: To enhance paragraph effectiveness, ensure that each paragraph contains a clear topic sentence that summarizes the main idea. Additionally, consider expanding on key points with examples or elaboration to provide more depth and context, particularly in the paragraphs discussing causes.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable use of cohesive devices, such as "Firstly," "Secondly," and "In conclusion," which help to connect ideas. However, there is a noticeable reliance on basic cohesive devices, which can make the writing feel somewhat repetitive. For instance, the phrase "the last one" is less formal and could be replaced with a more sophisticated transition.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases, such as "Furthermore," "Additionally," and "On the other hand." This will not only enhance the flow of the essay but also elevate the overall tone. Additionally, varying sentence structures can help maintain reader engagement and improve cohesion.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of coherence and cohesion, implementing these suggestions can further enhance clarity and sophistication, potentially raising the band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms like "fast-paced urban life," "demanding jobs," and "urban sprawl." However, there are instances of repetition, such as the frequent use of "exercise" and "urban." This limits the overall lexical variety and may detract from the reader’s engagement.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, consider using synonyms or related terms. For example, instead of repeating "exercise," you could use "physical activity," "workout," or "fitness routines." Additionally, incorporating more varied adjectives and adverbs could enrich the descriptions of urban life and its challenges.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: While the essay generally uses vocabulary appropriately, there are moments of imprecision. For instance, the phrase "the cost of fitness facilities too high" is grammatically incorrect; it should read "the cost of fitness facilities is too high." Moreover, the term "objective factors" in the conclusion is vague and does not clearly convey the intended meaning.
- How to improve: Focus on grammatical accuracy and clarity in vocabulary usage. Ensure that sentences are complete and grammatically correct. For example, revise the problematic phrase to "the cost of fitness facilities is prohibitively high." Additionally, clarify vague terms by providing specific examples or rephrasing them to enhance understanding.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains a few spelling errors, such as "creating" instead of "create" in "government should creating more public fitness space." This affects the overall professionalism of the writing and can distract the reader.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, consider implementing a proofreading strategy. After writing, take a break and then review the essay with fresh eyes to catch errors. Additionally, using spell-check tools or apps can help identify mistakes before submission. Regular practice with vocabulary lists can also reinforce correct spelling.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents coherent arguments, enhancing the range and precision of vocabulary, along with improving spelling accuracy, will contribute to a higher band score in the Lexical Resource criterion.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For example, the sentence "The fast-paced city life leaves little time for physical activity, with people prioritizing work and other responsibilities over exercise" effectively combines clauses to convey a complex idea. However, there are instances of repetitive structure, particularly in the listing of reasons (e.g., "One of the reasons is busy lifestyles," "The next is lack of green space," "The last one is the cost of fitness facilities too high"). This pattern can detract from the overall fluency of the writing.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, consider varying the way reasons are introduced. Instead of using a repetitive format, you could use phrases like "Another contributing factor is…" or "Additionally, the issue of…" This will not only enhance the variety but also improve the flow of ideas.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay displays a generally good command of grammar, with only a few errors that impact clarity. For instance, the phrase "government should creating more public fitness space" contains a grammatical error; it should be "the government should create more public fitness space." Additionally, the sentence "in many cities, access to parks and open spaces for walking, running, or sports is limited" is well-structured but could benefit from clearer punctuation, such as a semicolon or a conjunction to connect related ideas more effectively.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, pay close attention to subject-verb agreement and verb forms. Regular practice with grammar exercises focusing on common errors can be beneficial. Additionally, reviewing punctuation rules, particularly for complex sentences, can help clarify meaning and improve overall readability. For example, consider revising sentences to ensure they are punctuated correctly and convey the intended meaning clearly.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid grasp of grammatical range and accuracy, focusing on diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical precision will help elevate the writing to a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

**Improved Essay:**

Currently, maintaining physical activity is a significant challenge for people living in cities. The fast-paced urban lifestyle, stressful work schedules, and constrained living conditions mean that many individuals do not have enough time or resources to engage in physical activity. This essay will discuss the reasons why increasingly fewer people are able to exercise.

One of the primary causes is the hectic lifestyles that urban dwellers often lead, as they frequently have demanding jobs and long working hours. The fast-paced city life leaves little time for physical activity, with individuals prioritizing work and other responsibilities over exercise. Another factor is the scarcity of green spaces; in many cities, access to parks and open areas for walking, running, or sports is limited. High population density and urban sprawl reduce opportunities for outdoor exercise. Additionally, the high cost of fitness facilities is a significant barrier. While gyms exist in cities, they can be expensive and unaffordable for many people. The cost of memberships or equipment may deter individuals from engaging in regular exercise.

There are several solutions that can help urban residents get enough physical exercise. Firstly, governments should create more public fitness spaces. City planners should prioritize the development of more accessible parks, outdoor gyms, and recreational areas. Free or low-cost public exercise programs can also promote community participation and fitness. Secondly, encouraging companies to implement flexible working hours can significantly improve the situation. Allowing teleworking or flexible schedules could help urban residents find more time to engage in physical activity.

In conclusion, the lack of physical activity among urban residents is caused by various factors, such as busy lifestyles, limited living environments, and other objective challenges. However, with practical solutions like creating more public spaces and promoting active lifestyles, this problem can be significantly improved. Enhancing public awareness of the importance of exercise is also a crucial step in helping people build healthy lifestyles, even in urban environments.