It is indisputable that the love marriage is of paramount importance, and the question of whether arranged marriages are more successful than love marriages or not is a hotly debated topic. Some people believe that arranged marriages offer fulfillment, while others think that it is better to love marriages.
It is indisputable that the love marriage is of paramount importance, and the question of whether arranged marriages are more successful than love marriages or not is a hotly debated topic. Some people believe that arranged marriages offer fulfillment, while others think that it is better to love marriages.
It is indisputable that the love marriage is of paramount importance, and the question of whether arranged marriages are more successful than love marriages or not is a hotly debated topic. Some people believe that arranged marriages offer fulfillment, while others think that it is better to love marriages. In this essay, I will discuss both views and give my opinion.
On one hand, supporters of arranged marriages argue that these unions are more successful because they are often based on compatibility and family support. In arranged marriages, families carefully consider factors such as family background, education, values, and long-term goals. For instance, in countries like India, where arranged marriages are common, families prioritize compatibility in terms of religion, social status, and even life goals. This compatibility can reduce conflicts and help couples build mutual understanding over time. Additionally, family support in arranged marriages is usually strong, as the union is a collective decision. This often creates a sense of commitment and responsibility, encouraging the couple to work through challenges. For example, studies show that divorce rates in arranged marriages in certain cultures are lower, which some interpret as a sign of stability and commitment encouraged by family involvement.
On the other hand, proponents of love marriages believe that a foundation of love and personal choice is crucial for a fulfilling relationship. In love marriages, individuals choose their partners based on personal preferences, attraction, and emotional connection. For instance, couples in love marriages often share similar hobbies, personalities, or beliefs, which can lead to deeper companionship and happiness. Unlike arranged marriages, where families have a significant influence, love marriages provide couples with autonomy and freedom, which may increase their satisfaction and mental well-being. Furthermore, couples in love marriages often feel more empowered to resolve conflicts amicably since their relationship is based on personal affection and a strong emotional bond. For example, in many Western countries where love marriages are more common, the importance placed on personal choice can foster greater mutual respect and understanding.
In my estimation, although it is undeniable that arranged marriages may offer stability, love marriages tend to be more satisfying for individuals as they allow freedom of choice and personal connection. Although arranged marriages may bring stability through family involvement and compatibility, love marriages often lead to more genuine happiness because they are built on mutual attraction and shared values. Ultimately, the success of any marriage depends on the commitment, respect, and understanding between the couple, regardless of whether it is arranged or based on love.
In conclsion, while there are cònlicting views on the impact of marriaging, I wholeheartedly endorse the idea that love marriages, which prioritize personal choice and emotional connection, seem to provide a more fulfilling foundation for a successful relationship in today’s world. Therefore, it is advisable that a meticulous and comprehensive assessment procedure is executed to ascertain the optimal strategy for each circumstances
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
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"the love marriage" -> "love marriages"
Explanation: "Love marriage" is a less formal and somewhat colloquial term. Using "love marriages" maintains the plural form, which is more appropriate for academic writing and aligns with the context of discussing multiple types of marriages. -
"a hotly debated topic" -> "a contentious issue"
Explanation: "A hotly debated topic" is somewhat informal and emotional. "A contentious issue" is more neutral and academically appropriate, focusing on the disagreement rather than the intensity of the debate. -
"give my opinion" -> "express my perspective"
Explanation: "Give my opinion" is somewhat informal and direct. "Express my perspective" is more formal and suitable for academic writing, suggesting a thoughtful and considered viewpoint. -
"supporters of arranged marriages argue" -> "proponents of arranged marriages contend"
Explanation: "Supporters" is less formal and slightly vague. "Proponents" is more precise and formal, and "contend" is a stronger, more academic verb than "argue" in this context. -
"are more successful because" -> "are more successful inasmuch as"
Explanation: "Because" is straightforward but informal. "Inasmuch as" is a more formal conjunction that introduces a reason, enhancing the academic tone of the sentence. -
"families carefully consider" -> "families meticulously evaluate"
Explanation: "Carefully consider" is somewhat vague and informal. "Meticulously evaluate" conveys a higher level of scrutiny and formality, fitting the context of careful decision-making in arranged marriages. -
"For instance, in countries like India" -> "For example, in countries such as India"
Explanation: "For instance" is less formal than "For example," and "like" is less formal than "such as." This change enhances the formality and precision of the example. -
"encouraging the couple to work through challenges" -> "encouraging the couple to navigate challenges"
Explanation: "Work through" is a bit informal and colloquial. "Navigate" is more precise and formal, fitting the context of managing difficulties in relationships. -
"proponents of love marriages believe" -> "advocates of love marriages contend"
Explanation: Similar to earlier, "proponents" is less formal than "advocates," and "contend" is more academic than "believe," suggesting a stronger, more evidence-based argument. -
"a foundation of love and personal choice" -> "a foundation rooted in love and personal choice"
Explanation: Adding "rooted in" provides a stronger, more formal expression, emphasizing the deep connection between love and personal choice in love marriages. -
"allow freedom of choice and personal connection" -> "afford freedom of choice and foster personal connection"
Explanation: "Allow" is somewhat passive and less formal. "Afford" is more active and formal, and "foster" is a more precise verb for describing the nurturing of personal connections. -
"In conclsion" -> "In conclusion"
Explanation: "In conclsion" is a typographical error. "In conclusion" is the correct term, ensuring the formal and professional tone of the conclusion. -
"marriaging" -> "marriage"
Explanation: "Marriaging" is a nonstandard term and likely a typographical error. "Marriage" is the correct noun form, appropriate for academic writing. -
"a meticulous and comprehensive assessment procedure is executed" -> "a meticulous and comprehensive assessment procedure should be implemented"
Explanation: "Is executed" is passive and less formal. "Should be implemented" is more active and formal, suggesting a recommendation rather than a statement of fact, which is more suitable for academic writing.
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8
Band Score for Task Response: 8
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Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both sides of the debate regarding arranged and love marriages, presenting arguments for each perspective. The introduction clearly sets up the discussion, and the body paragraphs provide substantial evidence and examples to support the claims made. For instance, the essay discusses the compatibility and family support associated with arranged marriages, as well as the autonomy and emotional connection found in love marriages. However, while the essay does mention both views, it could benefit from a more explicit comparison of the two types of marriages in terms of success metrics.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer could include a more direct comparison of the success rates of arranged versus love marriages, perhaps referencing specific studies or statistics. Additionally, addressing the nuances of what "success" means in the context of marriage (e.g., happiness, longevity, conflict resolution) could provide a more rounded answer to the prompt.
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Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that favors love marriages, particularly in the conclusion. The writer articulates their opinion effectively, stating that love marriages tend to be more satisfying due to personal choice and emotional connection. However, there are moments in the body where the discussion of arranged marriages could overshadow the writer’s stance, especially when detailing the benefits of arranged marriages.
- How to improve: To ensure the position is clear throughout, the writer could use transitional phrases to reinforce their stance after presenting the arguments for arranged marriages. For example, after discussing the advantages of arranged marriages, a sentence could be added to reiterate that these points do not outweigh the benefits of love marriages, thus maintaining a consistent viewpoint.
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Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents and supports ideas well, with clear examples illustrating the arguments for both types of marriages. The use of specific cultural contexts, such as India for arranged marriages and Western countries for love marriages, strengthens the essay’s claims. However, some points could be more deeply explored, particularly the implications of the examples given.
- How to improve: The writer could enhance the depth of their arguments by providing more detailed explanations of how the examples support their claims. For instance, discussing how family support in arranged marriages translates into practical benefits for couples could add depth. Additionally, including counterarguments or acknowledging potential weaknesses in their own position could enrich the discussion.
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Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the comparison between arranged and love marriages. However, there are instances where the discussion could drift slightly, particularly in the conclusion, where the phrase "a meticulous and comprehensive assessment procedure" introduces a somewhat unrelated concept that could confuse the reader.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that all concluding remarks tie back directly to the main argument. Instead of introducing new ideas in the conclusion, the writer could summarize the key points made in the essay and reinforce the main argument about the superiority of love marriages in a more straightforward manner.
Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the topic and effectively communicates the writer’s perspective. With some adjustments to enhance clarity, depth, and focus, it could achieve an even higher score.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7
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Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, with an introduction that outlines the topic and states the writer’s intention to discuss both views. Each body paragraph effectively addresses one perspective—arranged marriages in the first and love marriages in the second—allowing for a logical progression of ideas. However, the transition between the two perspectives could be smoother. For instance, the phrase "On the other hand" is used, but the connection between the two arguments could be more explicitly stated to enhance clarity.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases that not only signal a shift but also summarize the previous point. For example, after discussing arranged marriages, you might add a sentence that reflects on the implications of family involvement before introducing the contrasting view of love marriages. This will help the reader follow the argument more seamlessly.
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Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, with each paragraph focusing on a specific argument. The introduction and conclusion are distinct, and the body paragraphs are well-structured. However, the conclusion could be more clearly delineated from the body paragraphs, as the transition into it feels abrupt. Additionally, the final paragraph contains some grammatical errors that detract from its clarity.
- How to improve: To improve paragraphing, ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that encapsulates the main idea. In the conclusion, restate the main arguments briefly before presenting your final opinion. Also, proofreading for grammatical accuracy will enhance the overall readability of the conclusion.
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Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs a variety of cohesive devices, such as "for instance," "additionally," and "furthermore," which help to link ideas within and between paragraphs. However, there are instances where the use of cohesive devices could be more varied or sophisticated. For example, the phrase "for instance" is repeated, and the essay could benefit from a wider range of linking words to avoid redundancy.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating synonyms or alternative phrases. Instead of repeatedly using "for instance," you might use "for example," "to illustrate," or "as a case in point." Additionally, using more advanced cohesive devices, such as "conversely" or "in contrast," can enhance the sophistication of your writing and improve the overall coherence of the essay.
In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of coherence and cohesion principles, there are opportunities for improvement in logical flow, paragraph structure, and the variety of cohesive devices used. By implementing these suggestions, the essay can achieve a higher level of clarity and sophistication.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7
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Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary relevant to the topic of marriage. Terms such as "compatibility," "fulfillment," "autonomy," and "commitment" are effectively used to convey nuanced ideas about arranged and love marriages. The writer also employs phrases like "hotly debated topic" and "collective decision," which enhance the sophistication of the language. However, there are instances where vocabulary could be more varied; for example, the repeated use of "marriage" could be replaced with synonyms such as "union" or "partnership" to avoid redundancy.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should consider incorporating more synonyms and related terms throughout the essay. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "marriage," they could alternate with "union," "relationship," or "partnership." Additionally, exploring more advanced vocabulary related to emotional and social dynamics could further enrich the essay.
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Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary accurately, but there are moments of imprecision. For example, the phrase "love marriages tend to be more satisfying for individuals" could be interpreted as overly broad; "satisfying" might be better expressed as "fulfilling" or "emotionally rewarding" to convey a clearer meaning. Additionally, the term "cónflicting views" in the conclusion contains a spelling error that affects clarity.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on selecting words that convey the intended meaning more accurately. For example, replacing "satisfying" with "fulfilling" would provide a stronger emotional connotation. Furthermore, proofreading for spelling errors and ensuring that all terms are used in the correct context will enhance the overall clarity of the essay.
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Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains a few spelling errors, such as "conclsion" instead of "conclusion" and "cónflicting" instead of "conflicting." These errors detract from the overall professionalism of the writing and can confuse the reader.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should implement a proofreading strategy before finalizing the essay. This could include reading the essay aloud, using spell-check tools, or asking a peer to review the work. Regular practice with vocabulary lists and spelling exercises can also help reinforce correct spelling habits.
In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid command of vocabulary and generally effective usage, there are opportunities for improvement in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling accuracy. By addressing these areas, the writer can enhance the overall quality of their lexical resource in future essays.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8
Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8
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Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. For instance, complex sentences such as "In arranged marriages, families carefully consider factors such as family background, education, values, and long-term goals" effectively convey detailed information. Additionally, the use of conditional structures, as seen in "Although arranged marriages may bring stability through family involvement and compatibility," adds depth to the argument. However, the essay could benefit from more varied sentence openings and the inclusion of some passive voice constructions to further enhance complexity.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, consider incorporating more varied sentence beginnings and using different grammatical forms, such as passive voice or inversion. For example, instead of starting multiple sentences with "In arranged marriages" or "In love marriages," try beginning with phrases like "Considering the factors involved in arranged marriages…" or "When examining love marriages, one can see that…". This will create a more engaging flow and demonstrate a wider range of grammatical competence.
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Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a high level of grammatical accuracy, with only minor errors present. For instance, the phrase "the love marriage is of paramount importance" could be more naturally expressed as "love marriages are of paramount importance." Additionally, there are punctuation issues, such as the lack of a comma before "and" in compound sentences, which can lead to run-on sentences. The misspelling of "conclusion" as "conclsion" and "marriaging" instead of "marriage" detracts from the overall professionalism of the essay.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, it is crucial to proofread the essay for spelling errors and ensure that all sentences are grammatically correct. Pay special attention to punctuation rules, particularly regarding the use of commas in compound sentences. A helpful strategy is to read the essay aloud, which can help identify awkward phrasing and punctuation errors. Additionally, practicing specific grammar exercises focused on common errors can further solidify understanding and application of grammatical rules.
Overall, the essay is well-structured and presents a balanced view on the topic, but attention to detail in grammar and punctuation, as well as further diversification of sentence structures, will elevate the writing to an even higher standard.
Bài sửa mẫu
It is indisputable that love marriages hold paramount importance, and the question of whether arranged marriages are more successful than love marriages is a contentious issue. Some people believe that arranged marriages offer fulfillment, while others argue that love marriages are preferable. In this essay, I will discuss both views and express my perspective.
On one hand, proponents of arranged marriages contend that these unions are more successful because they are often based on compatibility and family support. In arranged marriages, families meticulously evaluate factors such as family background, education, values, and long-term goals. For example, in countries such as India, where arranged marriages are common, families prioritize compatibility in terms of religion, social status, and even life goals. This compatibility can reduce conflicts and help couples build mutual understanding over time. Additionally, family support in arranged marriages is usually strong, as the union is a collective decision. This often creates a sense of commitment and responsibility, encouraging the couple to navigate challenges together. Studies show that divorce rates in arranged marriages in certain cultures are lower, which some interpret as a sign of stability and commitment fostered by family involvement.
On the other hand, advocates of love marriages contend that a foundation rooted in love and personal choice is crucial for a fulfilling relationship. In love marriages, individuals choose their partners based on personal preferences, attraction, and emotional connection. Couples in love marriages often share similar hobbies, personalities, or beliefs, which can lead to deeper companionship and happiness. Unlike arranged marriages, where families have a significant influence, love marriages afford freedom of choice and foster personal connection, which may enhance satisfaction and mental well-being. Furthermore, couples in love marriages often feel more empowered to resolve conflicts amicably since their relationship is based on personal affection and a strong emotional bond. For example, in many Western countries where love marriages are more common, the emphasis placed on personal choice can foster greater mutual respect and understanding.
In my estimation, although it is undeniable that arranged marriages may offer stability, love marriages tend to be more satisfying for individuals as they allow freedom of choice and personal connection. While arranged marriages may bring stability through family involvement and compatibility, love marriages often lead to more genuine happiness because they are built on mutual attraction and shared values. Ultimately, the success of any marriage depends on the commitment, respect, and understanding between the couple, regardless of whether it is arranged or based on love.
In conclusion, while there are conflicting views on the impact of marriage, I wholeheartedly endorse the idea that love marriages, which prioritize personal choice and emotional connection, seem to provide a more fulfilling foundation for a successful relationship in today’s world. Therefore, it is advisable that a meticulous and comprehensive assessment procedure should be implemented to ascertain the optimal strategy for each circumstance.