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It is more important for a building to serve its purposes than to look beautiful. Architects do not need to worry about whether it is a real work of art. Do you agree or disagree?

It is more important for a building to serve its purposes than to look beautiful. Architects do not need to worry about whether it is a real work of art. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, some people believe that the utilitarian feature of a building should be the bottom line, which is far and away more requisite than the aesthetic values. Nonetheless, I still firmly suppose that one building can’t function well without its visual functionality and practical purpose, they are complementary to each other.
On the one hand, every property always aims to cater for particular functionality, that’s why distinctive names are used to address different constructions such as:Residential Buildings,Industrial Buildings,Commercial Buildings.To elaborate, Residential properties, particularly multi-family buildings, are primarily designed around safety and accessibility. As a consequence, if these buildings are dilapidated or don’t comply with the safety regulations, a wide range of people will be in jeopardy. That's why nowadays, most of the architecture in my country must have to pass various mandatory engineering tests, including the capacity to resist strong winds and minor earthquakes, in order to qualify for residential building.Regulations vary depending on the geographic location of the building, but often concern factors like ingress and egress, fire safety, and gas line and other utility lines.
On the other hand, adding visual appeals to a building is as integral as the reality utility. When coming to any destination, distinctive buildings are the first thing that is evaluated by visitors, so it is not exaggerated to say that constructions are the honor face of all the area. Consequently, if it is shabby-looking, the scape will presumably be blemished and less attractive to visitors. Additionally, the more delicate the properties are, the more costly, luxurious they are. With the same location, a beautiful building will be much more pricey than the ramshackled counterpart, and the aforementioned issue is the lifeblood of the housing economy and livelihood of both architects and designers.
To conclude, not only does a building serve its purpose, but it also requires an alluring appearance as well. Both of these values are indispensable when coming to one building. Furthermore, I suggest that Residential Buildings focus more on functionality, while the Commercial ones should prioritize aesthetic value


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

  1. "Nowadays, some people believe that the utilitarian feature of a building should be the bottom line, which is far and away more requisite than the aesthetic values." -> "Currently, some individuals contend that the utilitarian aspects of a building should take precedence, being considerably more essential than aesthetic considerations."
    Explanation: Replacing "Nowadays" with "Currently" enhances the formality of the introduction. Additionally, substituting "bottom line" with "take precedence" and using more advanced vocabulary like "requisite" contributes to a more academic tone.

  2. "Nonetheless, I still firmly suppose that one building can’t function well without its visual functionality and practical purpose, they are complementary to each other." -> "Nevertheless, I strongly posit that a building cannot effectively fulfill its purpose without a harmonious integration of both visual aesthetics and practical functionality; they are mutually complementary."
    Explanation: The phrase "firmly suppose" is replaced with "strongly posit" for a more assertive and formal expression. The restructuring of the sentence provides a clearer articulation of the idea and employs more sophisticated language.

  3. "On the one hand, every property always aims to cater for particular functionality, that’s why distinctive names are used to address different constructions such as: Residential Buildings, Industrial Buildings, Commercial Buildings." -> "On one hand, each property is designed to fulfill specific functions; hence, distinct terms are employed to designate various structures, such as Residential Buildings, Industrial Buildings, and Commercial Buildings."
    Explanation: The phrase "aims to cater for particular functionality" is refined to "designed to fulfill specific functions," contributing to a more precise and formal description. The use of a colon is replaced with a semicolon for better punctuation.

  4. "To elaborate, Residential properties, particularly multi-family buildings, are primarily designed around safety and accessibility." -> "Elaborating further, residential properties, especially multi-family buildings, are predominantly crafted with a focus on safety and accessibility."
    Explanation: The sentence is refined for conciseness and formality. "To elaborate" is transitioned to "Elaborating further," and "around safety and accessibility" is replaced with "with a focus on safety and accessibility."

  5. "As a consequence, if these buildings are dilapidated or don’t comply with the safety regulations, a wide range of people will be in jeopardy." -> "Consequently, if these buildings are in a state of disrepair or fail to adhere to safety regulations, a diverse population may be at risk."
    Explanation: The use of "dilapidated" is maintained, but additional options are provided for variety. The phrase "wide range of people" is replaced with "diverse population" for a more precise expression.

  6. "That’s why nowadays, most of the architecture in my country must have to pass various mandatory engineering tests, including the capacity to resist strong winds and minor earthquakes, in order to qualify for residential building." -> "Hence, in the present era, the majority of architectural structures in my country must undergo various mandatory engineering tests, assessing factors such as the ability to withstand strong winds and minor earthquakes, to meet the qualifications for residential buildings."
    Explanation: "Nowadays" is replaced with "in the present era" for a more formal tone. The phrase "have to pass" is streamlined to "must undergo," and the sentence is restructured for clarity and formality.

  7. "Regulations vary depending on the geographic location of the building, but often concern factors like ingress and egress, fire safety, and gas line and other utility lines." -> "Regulations vary based on the geographic location of the building, frequently encompassing aspects such as ingress and egress, fire safety, and utility lines, including gas lines."
    Explanation: "Depending on" is changed to "based on" for a more formal expression. The use of "but often" is replaced with "frequently encompassing" for a more concise and sophisticated description.

  8. "When coming to any destination, distinctive buildings are the first thing that is evaluated by visitors, so it is not exaggerated to say that constructions are the honor face of all the area." -> "Upon arriving at any destination, visitors primarily assess distinctive buildings, making it apt to assert that constructions represent the honorable facade of the entire area."
    Explanation: "When coming to" is replaced with "Upon arriving at" for a more formal transition. "That is evaluated by visitors" is refined to "visitors primarily assess," and "the first thing that is" is streamlined to "making it apt to assert." The phrase "honor face" is introduced for a more elevated expression.

  9. "Consequently, if it is shabby-looking, the scape will presumably be blemished and less attractive to visitors." -> "As a result, if the appearance is dilapidated, the landscape will likely be marred and less appealing to visitors."
    Explanation: "Consequently" is used for a more formal transition. "Shabby-looking" is replaced with "dilapidated" for a more precise description. "Scape" is replaced with "landscape" for clarity and formality.

  10. "Additionally, the more delicate the properties are, the more costly, luxurious they are." -> "Furthermore, the more refined the properties, the more costly and luxurious they become."
    Explanation: "Additionally" is replaced with "Furthermore" for variety. The phrase "delicate the properties are" is refined to "refined the properties," contributing to a more concise and formal expression.

  11. "With the same location, a beautiful building will be much more pricey than the ramshackled counterpart, and the aforementioned issue is the lifeblood of the housing economy and livelihood of both architects and designers." -> "In the same location, an aesthetically pleasing building will command a significantly higher price than its dilapidated counterpart, underscoring the pivotal role this issue plays in the housing economy and the livelihoods of architects and designers."
    Explanation: "With the same location" is replaced with "In the same location" for a more formal transition. "Much more pricey" is refined to "command a significantly higher price." "Ramshackled" is replaced with "dilapidated" for a more precise description. The term "lifeblood" is introduced for emphasis, contributing to a more sophisticated expression.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

  1. Quoted text: "Nonetheless, I still firmly suppose that one building can’t function well without its visual functionality and practical purpose, they are complementary to each other."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The introduction effectively presents your position; however, it could benefit from a more concise expression. Consider rephrasing for clarity: "I firmly believe that a building must seamlessly blend practical functionality with visual appeal; these aspects are mutually complementary." This revision enhances the precision of your stance.
  2. Quoted text: "To elaborate, Residential properties, particularly multi-family buildings, are primarily designed around safety and accessibility."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: While you correctly highlight the importance of safety and accessibility in residential buildings, the explanation lacks depth. Provide specific examples or scenarios to illustrate your point. For instance, you could mention the significance of fire safety measures and their impact on the well-being of residents. This would add substance to your argument and strengthen your position.
  3. Quoted text: "When coming to any destination, distinctive buildings are the first thing that is evaluated by visitors, so it is not exaggerated to say that constructions are the honor face of all the area."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The idea is valid, but the expression could be refined for better coherence. Consider rephrasing: "When arriving at a destination, visitors often assess distinctive buildings first. It is accurate to say that these structures represent the face and honor of the entire area." This adjustment enhances the flow and clarity of your argument.
  4. Quoted text: "Additionally, the more delicate the properties are, the more costly, luxurious they are."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: This statement lacks clarity and precision. Specify what you mean by "delicate properties" and provide examples to support your claim. For instance, you could discuss how intricate architectural designs or high-quality materials contribute to the perceived luxury and cost of a building. This would add substance to your argument and make it more convincing.
  5. Quoted text: "Furthermore, I suggest that Residential Buildings focus more on functionality, while the Commercial ones should prioritize aesthetic value."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: While your conclusion attempts to summarize your position, it leaves room for ambiguity. Specify why residential buildings should focus more on functionality and how this differs from the emphasis on aesthetic value for commercial buildings. Provide clear examples to support your suggestion, making your conclusion more impactful and leaving a lasting impression on the reader.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a generally clear position with relevant ideas. However, enhancing the depth of examples and refining expressions can elevate the overall coherence and persuasiveness of your argument.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates coherence and cohesion to a satisfactory extent, but there are areas for improvement. The logical organization of information is evident, with a clear overall progression. The use of cohesive devices is effective, although there are instances of faulty or mechanical cohesion within and between sentences. The essay presents a central topic within each paragraph, contributing to the overall clarity. However, the paragraphing is not consistently logical, and there is room for improvement in referencing and substitution.

How to improve:

  1. Ensure logical progression within and between paragraphs for a more cohesive structure.
  2. Pay attention to the use of cohesive devices, aiming for smoother transitions between ideas.
  3. Strengthen referencing and substitution to avoid any ambiguity or lack of clarity.
  4. Enhance paragraphing to consistently support the overall flow and organization of ideas.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a reasonable level of coherence and cohesion but would benefit from refining these aspects for a more polished and cohesive response.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary, allowing for flexibility and precision. There is an attempt to use less common lexical items with some awareness of style and collocation. The essay occasionally produces errors in word choice, spelling, and word formation, but they do not significantly impede communication.

The writer successfully employs a variety of terms related to buildings and their purposes, showcasing a reasonable command of vocabulary. Examples include "utilitarian feature," "distinctive names," "dilapidated," and "mandatory engineering tests." However, there are instances of minor inaccuracies and awkward phrasing, such as "that is evaluated by visitors," which could be improved for better clarity.

The essay effectively combines a range of vocabulary to discuss both the functional and aesthetic aspects of buildings. While there is an attempt to use less common vocabulary, occasional errors, such as the phrase "the scape will presumably be blemished," slightly affect the precision of expression. Additionally, there are a few errors in word formation, like "shabby-looking" and "ramshackled," which, though not hindering comprehension, suggest room for improvement.

How to improve: To enhance the Lexical Resource score, the writer should focus on refining the use of less common vocabulary, paying attention to accuracy and appropriateness. Careful proofreading for spelling and word formation errors is recommended. Additionally, attention to phrasing and clarity will contribute to a more sophisticated use of language.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a good control of grammar and punctuation, producing frequent error-free sentences. The writer employs a variety of complex structures, showcasing a mix of simple and complex sentence forms. While there are some errors in grammar and punctuation, they rarely reduce communication. The essay effectively conveys the intended message with clarity.

How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range and accuracy, pay attention to minor errors, such as article usage ("the scape" should be "the landscape") and verb agreement ("buildings are the first thing that is evaluated" should be "buildings are the first things that are evaluated"). Additionally, ensure consistency in verb tenses throughout the essay for a more polished presentation.

Bài sửa mẫu

In today’s context, there is a growing belief that a building’s utilitarian aspects should take precedence over its aesthetic appeal. Some argue that architects need not concern themselves with creating a true work of art. However, I staunchly believe that a building’s visual appeal and practical purpose are inseparable, each playing a vital role.

On one hand, every type of property serves a specific function, as evident in names like Residential Buildings, Industrial Buildings, and Commercial Buildings. For instance, Residential properties, especially multi-family buildings, prioritize safety and accessibility. Dilapidated structures or those not meeting safety regulations put a diverse group of people at risk. Consequently, in my country, most architecture must pass various mandatory engineering tests, including resilience against strong winds and minor earthquakes, to qualify as residential buildings. Regulations, varying based on geographic location, often cover aspects like ingress and egress, fire safety, and utility lines.

On the other hand, incorporating visual appeal into a building is as crucial as its practical utility. When people arrive at a destination, distinctive buildings are the first things evaluated, making constructions the esteemed face of an area. A poorly-maintained appearance could tarnish the landscape and reduce its attractiveness to visitors. Additionally, the more aesthetically pleasing a property, the more expensive and luxurious it tends to be. In the same location, a beautiful building commands a higher price than its rundown counterpart. This economic aspect is vital for the housing industry and the livelihoods of architects and designers.

In conclusion, a building must not only fulfill its purpose but also possess an appealing appearance. Both of these aspects are indispensable when considering any structure. Moreover, I propose that Residential Buildings emphasize functionality, while Commercial ones prioritize aesthetic value.

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