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It is now possible for scientists and tourists to travel to remote natural environment, such as the South pole. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

It is now possible for scientists and tourists to travel to remote natural environment, such as the South pole. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

With the advent of modern transportation like planes and cruise ships, along with refrigeration technologies, venturing into remote corners of the world has become a feasible undertaking. In my view, this development holds advantages for both tourists and scientists.

For travelers, exploring distant natural locales can offer unique benefits. Despite the plethora of tourist attractions globally, there remains a subset of travel enthusiasts seeking novelty, be it through engaging in unfamiliar activities or discovering untouched destinations. By journeying to obscure islands or other less-known areas, tourists can witness and participate in distinctive religious practices of indigenous communities, marvel at seldom-seen flora and fauna, sample unfamiliar cuisines, and immerse themselves in a distinct way of life. While it's acknowledged that such journeys may entail inherent risks, such as climatic variations, wildlife encounters, or potential conflicts with local populations, these risks can be mitigated through meticulous preparation.

Similarly, scientists can derive significant advantages from exploring untouched regions. Despite our current understanding, many unknown aspects persist in the realm of science. Visiting these pristine locations could provide answers to existing and future scientific inquiries. This is evident in the sporadic emergence of new viruses and the impact of global warming on the lives and habitats of elusive animals residing in densely wooded areas and deep underwater. Admittedly, concerns about potential harm to these creatures and their environments are valid, but with appropriate regulations, authorities can eliminate such possibilities.

In conclusion, venturing into remote areas of the world can impart otherwise unattainable insights and experiences to both tourists and individuals in the scientific community. The key lies in careful planning and regulatory measures to ensure that the benefits outweigh the potential drawbacks.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

  1. "Feasible undertaking" -> "Feasible endeavor"
    Explanation: Substituting "undertaking" with "endeavor" maintains formality and aligns with academic language conventions, enhancing the overall tone of the sentence.

  2. "Subset of travel enthusiasts" -> "Segment of travel aficionados"
    Explanation: Replacing "subset" with "segment" and "enthusiasts" with "aficionados" elevates the vocabulary, contributing to a more sophisticated and formal expression.

  3. "Unique benefits" -> "Distinct advantages"
    Explanation: Changing "unique benefits" to "distinct advantages" provides a more precise and refined phrase, adhering to the academic style.

  4. "Marvel at seldom-seen flora and fauna" -> "Admire rarely observed flora and fauna"
    Explanation: Substituting "marvel at" with "admire" and "seldom-seen" with "rarely observed" enhances formality and precision, aligning with academic language expectations.

  5. "Sample unfamiliar cuisines" -> "Experience unfamiliar culinary offerings"
    Explanation: Using "experience" instead of "sample" and "culinary offerings" instead of "cuisines" adds a level of formality and specificity to the statement.

  6. "Despite our current understanding" -> "Despite our existing knowledge"
    Explanation: Replacing "current understanding" with "existing knowledge" contributes to a more formal and academic tone while maintaining clarity.

  7. "Many unknown aspects persist" -> "Numerous unexplored facets persist"
    Explanation: Substituting "unknown aspects" with "unexplored facets" elevates the vocabulary and aligns with a more formal style, suitable for academic writing.

  8. "Sporadic emergence of new viruses" -> "Intermittent emergence of novel viruses"
    Explanation: Changing "sporadic" to "intermittent" and "new viruses" to "novel viruses" enhances precision and formality in describing the occurrence of viruses.

  9. "Impact of global warming on the lives and habitats" -> "Effects of global warming on the existence and habitats"
    Explanation: Using "effects" instead of "impact" and specifying "existence and habitats" instead of "lives and habitats" contributes to a more academic and precise expression.

  10. "Concerns about potential harm" -> "Apprehensions regarding potential harm"
    Explanation: Substituting "concerns" with "apprehensions" and adding "regarding" improves the formality and precision of the phrase in an academic context.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

  1. Quoted text: "By journeying to obscure islands or other less-known areas, tourists can witness and participate in distinctive religious practices of indigenous communities, marvel at seldom-seen flora and fauna, sample unfamiliar cuisines, and immerse themselves in a distinct way of life."

    • Explanation and Improvement: The essay successfully highlights the advantages for tourists exploring remote areas, citing unique experiences and cultural immersion. To strengthen this point further, consider providing specific examples or anecdotes of these unique experiences. For instance, elaborating on a personal encounter with a rare species or a detailed description of a unique cultural ritual would add depth and vividness to this argument.
    • Improved example: "By journeying to obscure islands or less-explored regions, tourists can delve into the rich tapestry of indigenous cultures, experiencing firsthand rituals like the traditional dances of the Maori people in New Zealand or participating in spiritual ceremonies with the Shamans in the Amazon rainforest. These encounters offer not just a glimpse but an immersive understanding of diverse ways of life."
  2. Quoted text: "This is evident in the sporadic emergence of new viruses and the impact of global warming on the lives and habitats of elusive animals residing in densely wooded areas and deep underwater."

    • Explanation and Improvement: While the essay acknowledges the potential scientific benefits of exploring remote regions, it could be enhanced by providing more specific examples or instances where such expeditions have led to significant scientific discoveries. Offering a concrete case of a discovery or breakthrough resulting from research in a remote location would solidify this argument.
    • Improved example: "For instance, recent expeditions to the depths of the Mariana Trench have revealed new species of deep-sea creatures, shedding light on their adaptation mechanisms in extreme conditions. Such discoveries not only expand our knowledge but also aid in understanding the delicate balance of ecosystems in these remote areas."

Overall, the essay effectively addresses both the advantages for tourists and scientists in exploring remote environments. To elevate the discussion, incorporating specific instances or personal experiences related to unique encounters or scientific breakthroughs would enrich the arguments and further support the position presented in the essay.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a clear organization of ideas with a logical progression throughout. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect, addressing tourists’ benefits and scientists’ advantages separately. There is evident coherence within and between sentences, ensuring a smooth flow of ideas. The use of cohesive devices is varied and mostly appropriate, contributing to the overall coherence. The central topics within each paragraph are well-established and contribute to the essay’s overall coherence.

However, there are some instances where the cohesive devices could have been more effectively utilized. While the essay generally maintains a cohesive structure, there are minor lapses in overuse or underuse of certain cohesive devices, slightly affecting the overall coherence.

How to improve:
To enhance the coherence and cohesion further, focus on ensuring a consistent and balanced use of cohesive devices throughout the essay. While the essay maintains a logical progression, paying closer attention to the transitions between ideas within and between paragraphs could elevate the overall cohesion. Additionally, reinforcing the use of referencing and substitution where appropriate would help strengthen the essay’s coherence.

Overall, maintaining the current level of logical organization and enhancing the precision of cohesive devices would elevate the coherence and cohesion to a higher band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 8

Band Score: 8.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a wide range of vocabulary, showcasing a sophisticated control of lexical features. The writer skillfully uses uncommon lexical items to convey precise meanings, contributing to the overall fluency and flexibility of the essay. There are only minor errors, described as ‘slips,’ and these do not significantly impede communication. The vocabulary choice is diverse and contributes to the clarity and depth of the content.

How to improve: While the essay excels in lexical resource, a slight enhancement can be achieved by incorporating even more uncommon and varied lexical items where possible. Additionally, paying attention to the occasional use of redundant expressions and refining them for conciseness can further elevate the lexical sophistication. Overall, maintaining this high level of vocabulary and refining minor errors will ensure consistent excellence in this criterion.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score: 8.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable command of grammatical structures, showcasing a wide range with a high degree of flexibility. The majority of sentences are error-free, contributing to effective communication. The essay incorporates complex structures, such as subordinate clauses and varied sentence forms, enhancing the overall quality of expression. While there are occasional errors, they are minor and can be characterized as ‘slips,’ not significantly hindering comprehension.

How to improve: To further enhance grammatical accuracy, consider paying additional attention to punctuation details, ensuring consistency throughout the essay. While the essay generally excels in using a variety of complex structures, a meticulous review for minor errors can help refine the overall grammatical precision. Additionally, strive for consistency in formal language use, ensuring a seamless flow of ideas while maintaining a high level of accuracy.

Bài sửa mẫu

With the advent of modern transportation, such as planes and cruise ships, coupled with refrigeration technologies, exploring remote corners of the world has become a feasible endeavor. In my opinion, this development holds distinct advantages for both tourists and scientists.

For travelers, delving into distant natural locales can offer unique benefits. Despite the abundance of global tourist attractions, there exists a segment of travel aficionados seeking novelty, whether through engaging in unfamiliar activities or discovering untouched destinations. By journeying to obscure islands or other less-known areas, tourists can admire rarely observed flora and fauna, experience unfamiliar culinary offerings, and immerse themselves in a distinct way of life by witnessing distinctive religious practices of indigenous communities. While it’s acknowledged that such journeys may entail inherent risks, such as climatic variations, wildlife encounters, or potential conflicts with local populations, these risks can be mitigated through meticulous preparation.

Similarly, scientists can derive significant advantages from exploring untouched regions. Despite our existing knowledge, numerous unexplored facets persist in the realm of science. Visiting these pristine locations could provide answers to existing and future scientific inquiries. This is evident in the intermittent emergence of novel viruses and the effects of global warming on the existence and habitats of elusive animals residing in densely wooded areas and deep underwater. Admittedly, apprehensions regarding potential harm to these creatures and their environments are valid, but with appropriate regulations, authorities can eliminate such possibilities.

In conclusion, venturing into remote areas of the world can impart otherwise unattainable insights and experiences to both tourists and individuals in the scientific community. The key lies in careful planning and regulatory measures to ensure that the benefits outweigh the potential drawbacks.

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