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It is now possible for scientists and tourists to travel to remote natural environments, such as the South Pole. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

It is now possible for scientists and tourists to travel to remote natural environments, such as the South Pole. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

In the contemporary world, remote traveling and exploration are a controversial topic. While this trend poses certain drawbacks, its benefits outweigh the negative aspects.

There are evident downsides arising from the increasing accessibility of scientists and tourists to remote natural environments. First of all, the tranquility of isolated areas will be replaced by the hustle and bustle due to the appearance of travelers and scientists. For instance, Phu Quy island located in Phan Thiet province of Vietnam, which was once renowned for its peace, crystal-clear water and fresh air, now becomes overcrowded due to the influx of daily tourists. Furthermore, the development of tourist infrastructure in such regions may pose risks to the native habitat, exert pressure on indigenous communities, and erode the unique cultural identity.

Nonetheless, the merits associated with this trend far outweigh the limitations, particularly in terms of national development. To begin with, some neglected and underutilized remote areas can be transformed into valuable assets. Specially, such places can be utilized for tourist attractions like hotels, resorts, and camping areas. These developments not only ease the burden on overpopulated tourist destinations but also significantly contribute to the comprehensive development of the entire country. Moreover, such exploration contributes to scientific evolution, providing a vast source of knowledge to humanity. Consequently, a wealth of scientific discoveries and innovations becomes accessible, fostering educational and technological advancements for future generations.

In conclusion, while acknowledging the downsides , the advantages of traveling to secluded areas of both tourists and scientists far surpass the disadvantages. Traveling and exploration, nevertheless, are within reasonable bounds and guarantee to preserve the sanctity of these natural environments.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "remote traveling" -> "distant travel"
    Explanation: Replacing "remote traveling" with "distant travel" maintains formality and avoids potential confusion with remote work. The term "distant travel" better captures the essence of exploring far-off locations.

  2. "contemporary world" -> "modern society"
    Explanation: Substituting "contemporary world" with "modern society" enhances the formality of the expression, providing a more polished introduction to the topic.

  3. "drawbacks" -> "limitations"
    Explanation: Changing "drawbacks" to "limitations" maintains a formal tone and aligns with academic language conventions. It conveys a more objective evaluation of the negative aspects.

  4. "First of all" -> "Primarily"
    Explanation: Replacing "First of all" with "Primarily" adds sophistication to the transition, creating a more academic and structured flow in the essay.

  5. "hustle and bustle" -> "activity and commotion"
    Explanation: Substituting "hustle and bustle" with "activity and commotion" avoids colloquialism, providing a more formal description of the changes in isolated areas.

  6. "renowned" -> "celebrated"
    Explanation: Changing "renowned" to "celebrated" adds a touch of formality and elegance to the description of Phu Quy island, aligning better with academic style.

  7. "overcrowded" -> "inundated"
    Explanation: Replacing "overcrowded" with "inundated" introduces a more sophisticated term, conveying the idea of a substantial influx with a formal tone.

  8. "pose risks" -> "entail risks"
    Explanation: Substituting "pose risks" with "entail risks" enhances the formality of the sentence while maintaining clarity and precision in describing the potential dangers to the native habitat.

  9. "exert pressure on" -> "impose pressures upon"
    Explanation: Changing "exert pressure on" to "impose pressures upon" adds a layer of formality, contributing to a more academic tone in discussing the impact on indigenous communities.

  10. "erode" -> "undermine"
    Explanation: Replacing "erode" with "undermine" elevates the language, offering a more nuanced and formal description of the potential threat to the unique cultural identity of the regions.

  11. "Nonetheless" -> "Nevertheless"
    Explanation: Substituting "Nonetheless" with "Nevertheless" maintains the same meaning but aligns better with formal writing conventions, providing a smoother transition between paragraphs.

  12. "merits" -> "advantages"
    Explanation: Changing "merits" to "advantages" ensures consistency with formal language and academic style, conveying a positive assessment of the trend in a more conventional manner.

  13. "To begin with" -> "Firstly"
    Explanation: Replacing "To begin with" with "Firstly" offers a more standard and formal transition, contributing to the overall academic tone of the essay.

  14. "Specially" -> "Specifically"
    Explanation: Substituting "Specially" with "Specifically" maintains precision and formality, improving the coherence of the sentence and aligning with academic language norms.

  15. "contribute to" -> "contribute towards"
    Explanation: Changing "contribute to" to "contribute towards" adds a touch of formality and precision, enhancing the language without sacrificing clarity in describing the comprehensive development of the entire country.

  16. "fostering" -> "nurturing"
    Explanation: Replacing "fostering" with "nurturing" introduces a more formal synonym, maintaining the positive connotation while elevating the language in the context of scientific evolution.

  17. "acknowledging the downsides" -> "acknowledging the limitations"
    Explanation: Changing "acknowledging the downsides" to "acknowledging the limitations" maintains a formal tone, aligning with the earlier substitution of "drawbacks" with "limitations" and ensuring consistency in expression.

  18. "nevertheless" -> "however"
    Explanation: Substituting "nevertheless" with "however" provides a more formal transition, contributing to the coherence and academic style of the concluding sentence.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

  1. Quoted text: "There are evident downsides arising from the increasing accessibility of scientists and tourists to remote natural environments. First of all, the tranquility of isolated areas will be replaced by the hustle and bustle due to the appearance of travelers and scientists. For instance, Phu Quy island located in Phan Thiet province of Vietnam, which was once renowned for its peace, crystal-clear water and fresh air, now becomes overcrowded due to the influx of daily tourists. Furthermore, the development of tourist infrastructure in such regions may pose risks to the native habitat, exert pressure on indigenous communities, and erode the unique cultural identity."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The opening paragraph successfully introduces the drawbacks associated with increased accessibility to remote natural environments. However, the example provided lacks depth in explaining how the tranquility of Phu Quy island is affected. To enhance this, delve into specific instances such as noise pollution, crowded beaches, or disruption of local traditions. Additionally, consider introducing a counter-argument for a more balanced approach, acknowledging potential benefits in this section.
    • Improved example: "There are evident downsides arising from the increasing accessibility of scientists and tourists to remote natural environments. First of all, the tranquility of isolated areas will be replaced by the hustle and bustle due to the appearance of travelers and scientists. For instance, Phu Quy island located in Phan Thiet province of Vietnam, which was once renowned for its peace, crystal-clear water, and fresh air, now becomes overcrowded due to the influx of daily tourists. The serenity of this island is disrupted by noise pollution from tourists, crowded beaches, and a noticeable impact on local traditions. Furthermore, the development of tourist infrastructure in such regions may pose risks to the native habitat, exert pressure on indigenous communities, and erode the unique cultural identity."
  2. Quoted text: "Nonetheless, the merits associated with this trend far outweigh the limitations, particularly in terms of national development. To begin with, some neglected and underutilized remote areas can be transformed into valuable assets. Specially, such places can be utilized for tourist attractions like hotels, resorts, and camping areas. These developments not only ease the burden on overpopulated tourist destinations but also significantly contribute to the comprehensive development of the entire country. Moreover, such exploration contributes to scientific evolution, providing a vast source of knowledge to humanity. Consequently, a wealth of scientific discoveries and innovations becomes accessible, fostering educational and technological advancements for future generations."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the paragraph discusses the benefits, it could benefit from a more detailed explanation of how neglected areas can be transformed into valuable assets. Provide specific examples or elaborate on how tourism infrastructure can contribute to the comprehensive development of the country. Additionally, consider incorporating a more robust counter-argument to strengthen the overall argument.
    • Improved example: "Nonetheless, the merits associated with this trend far outweigh the limitations, particularly in terms of national development. To begin with, some neglected and underutilized remote areas can be transformed into valuable assets. Specifically, such places can be utilized for tourist attractions like hotels, resorts, and camping areas, injecting economic growth into these regions. These developments not only ease the burden on overpopulated tourist destinations but also significantly contribute to the comprehensive development of the entire country. For instance, the creation of eco-friendly resorts can not only attract tourists but also promote environmental sustainability. Moreover, such exploration contributes to scientific evolution, providing a vast source of knowledge to humanity. Consequently, a wealth of scientific discoveries and innovations becomes accessible, fostering educational and technological advancements for future generations."

Overall, the essay addresses all parts of the task, but certain sections can be strengthened with more detailed examples and counter-arguments for a more balanced and persuasive presentation of ideas.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a logical organization of information and ideas, providing a clear progression throughout. The introduction introduces the topic and the author’s stance, and each paragraph follows a clear central theme. The essay effectively employs cohesive devices, such as linking words and phrases, contributing to the overall coherence. There is a good balance in the use of cohesive devices, although a minor instance of overuse can be observed in the phrase "while acknowledging the downsides." Paragraphing is generally appropriate, enhancing the overall structure of the essay. However, there is room for improvement in ensuring consistent logical connections between sentences.

How to improve:
To enhance coherence, focus on maintaining a consistent logical relationship between sentences within paragraphs. Ensure that the use of cohesive devices is judicious and does not lead to overuse. Consider refining the connection between the acknowledgment of downsides and the subsequent discussion to create a smoother transition. Additionally, strive for greater precision in paragraphing to enhance overall logical flow and coherence.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, incorporating a mix of common and less common lexical items. There is an attempt to convey precise meanings, and the writer shows some awareness of style and collocation. The essay maintains coherence and clarity in presenting ideas. However, there are occasional errors in word choice and collocation, such as "Tranquility…will be replaced by the hustle and bustle" where a more precise word choice could enhance the expression. Additionally, the use of "neglected and underutilized" is effective in conveying meaning, but there is room for improvement in the choice of less common vocabulary.

How to improve:

  1. Consider more varied and sophisticated vocabulary choices to enhance precision and style.
  2. Pay attention to collocation and word choice to minimize occasional errors.
  3. Aim for a more nuanced expression of ideas, avoiding repetitive language.

Note: The essay effectively addresses the prompt, presenting both advantages and disadvantages with supporting examples. It maintains a clear structure and exhibits a good command of grammar and sentence structure. The suggested improvements are focused on elevating the lexical resource to a higher band level.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable use of a variety of sentence structures, including complex ones, to convey ideas effectively. The majority of the sentences are error-free, showcasing good control over grammar and punctuation. Complex structures are attempted, contributing to the overall sophistication of the essay. However, there are a few instances of minor errors and slight inaccuracies that do not significantly impede communication.

How to improve: To elevate the score closer to Band 8, focus on refining complex structures further while ensuring precision in grammar and punctuation. Review the essay for minor errors that can be rectified to enhance the overall accuracy and fluency without disrupting the flow of the ideas presented. Additionally, strive for even greater diversity and complexity in sentence structures to exhibit full flexibility and accuracy in language use.

Bài sửa mẫu

In the modern era, the subject of exploring remote destinations sparks debate. Despite certain drawbacks, the benefits of this trend outweigh its negatives.

The increased access of scientists and tourists to remote natural spots does present some clear downsides. Firstly, the tranquility of these isolated areas may vanish, replaced by the hustle and bustle brought about by travelers and scientists. For instance, take Phu Quy island in Phan Thiet province, Vietnam. Once renowned for its peace, crystal-clear waters, and fresh air, it has now become overcrowded due to an influx of daily tourists. Moreover, the development of tourist infrastructure in these regions might endanger the native habitat, put pressure on indigenous communities, and erode unique cultural identities.

Nevertheless, the merits of this trend far outweigh the limitations, especially concerning national development. Neglected and underutilized remote areas can be transformed into valuable assets. These places can be used for tourist attractions, such as hotels, resorts, and camping areas. These developments not only alleviate the strain on overcrowded tourist spots but also significantly contribute to the overall development of the country. Additionally, exploration in these areas contributes to scientific advancement, offering a vast source of knowledge to humanity. Consequently, a wealth of scientific discoveries and innovations becomes accessible, promoting educational and technological advancements for future generations.

To sum up, despite acknowledging the downsides, the advantages of traveling to secluded areas for both tourists and scientists far outweigh the disadvantages. However, it’s crucial that such travel and exploration are conducted within reasonable limits to ensure the preservation of the sanctity of these natural environments.

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