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It is now possible for scientists and tourists to travel to remote natural environments, such as the South Pole. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

It is now possible for scientists and tourists to travel to remote natural environments, such as the South Pole. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

In the contemporary world, remote traveling and exploration are a controversial topic. While this trend poses certain drawbacks, its benefits outweigh the negative aspects.

There are evident downsides arising from the increasing accessibility of scientists and tourists to remote natural environments. First of all, the tranquility of isolated areas will be replaced by the hustle and bustle due to the appearance of travelers and scientists. For instance, Phu Quy Island located in Phan Thiet province of Vietnam, which was once renowned for its peace, crystal-clear water and fresh air, now becomes overcrowded due to the influx of daily tourists. The serenity of this island is disrupted by noise pollution from tourists, crowded beaches, and a noticeable impact on local traditions. Furthermore, the development of tourist infrastructure in such regions may pose risks to the native habitat, impose pressures upon indigenous communities, and erode their unique cultural identity.

Nonetheless, the merits associated with this trend far outweigh the limitations, particularly in terms of national development. To begin with, some neglected remote areas can be transformed into valuable assets. Specifically, such places can be utilized for tourist attractions like hotels, resorts, and camping areas. These developments not only ease the burden on overpopulated tourist destinations but also significantly contribute to the comprehensive development of the entire country. For instance, the creation of eco-friendly resorts can not only attract tourists but also promote environmental sustainability. Moreover, the exploration of scientists in these remote areas contributes to scientific evolution, providing a vast source of knowledge to humanity. Consequently, a wealth of scientific discoveries and innovations becomes accessible, fostering educational and technological advancements for future generations.

In conclusion, while acknowledging the downsides, the advantages of traveling to secluded areas for both tourists and scientists far surpass the disadvantages. Traveling and exploration, nevertheless, are within reasonable bounds and guarantee to preserve the sanctity of these natural environments.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

  1. "remote traveling and exploration" -> "distant travel and exploration"
    Explanation: Replacing "remote traveling" with "distant travel" maintains formality and avoids the informal connotations of "remote." Additionally, substituting "exploration" with its synonym, "exploration," ensures a varied and sophisticated vocabulary.

  2. "its benefits outweigh" -> "its advantages surpass"
    Explanation: Replacing "outweigh" with "surpass" adds a more nuanced and precise term, enhancing the academic tone of the sentence.

  3. "evident downsides" -> "clear drawbacks"
    Explanation: Substituting "evident downsides" with "clear drawbacks" maintains clarity while introducing a more formal term.

  4. "due to the appearance" -> "owing to the presence"
    Explanation: Replacing "due to the appearance" with "owing to the presence" adds a more formal and precise expression, aligning with academic style.

  5. "Phu Quy Island located in Phan Thiet province of Vietnam" -> "Phu Quy Island, situated in the Phan Thiet province of Vietnam"
    Explanation: Restructuring the sentence for better flow and replacing "located" with "situated" adds formality and clarity.

  6. "which was once renowned for" -> "formerly known for"
    Explanation: Substituting "which was once renowned for" with "formerly known for" enhances conciseness and formality.

  7. "hustle and bustle" -> "activity and commotion"
    Explanation: Replacing the colloquial "hustle and bustle" with "activity and commotion" aligns with a more formal tone.

  8. "serenity of this island" -> "tranquility of this island"
    Explanation: Substituting "serenity" with "tranquility" maintains the meaning while employing a more formal term.

  9. "impacts on local traditions" -> "effects on local traditions"
    Explanation: Replacing "impacts" with "effects" provides a more precise and formal expression.

  10. "pose risks to the native habitat" -> "pose threats to the indigenous ecosystem"
    Explanation: Substituting "native habitat" with "indigenous ecosystem" and "risks" with "threats" adds precision and formality.

  11. "comprehensive development of the entire country" -> "holistic development of the entire nation"
    Explanation: Substituting "comprehensive development" with "holistic development" and "country" with "nation" adds sophistication to the language.

  12. "neglected remote areas" -> "overlooked distant regions"
    Explanation: Replacing "neglected remote areas" with "overlooked distant regions" introduces a more formal and varied vocabulary.

  13. "vast source of knowledge to humanity" -> "abundant source of knowledge for humanity"
    Explanation: Substituting "vast" with "abundant" and rephrasing the structure adds depth to the expression.

  14. "consequently, a wealth of scientific discoveries" -> "Consequently, an abundance of scientific discoveries"
    Explanation: Replacing "wealth" with "abundance" enhances the academic tone and variety of vocabulary.

  15. "fostering educational and technological advancements" -> "nurturing advancements in education and technology"
    Explanation: Substituting "fostering" with "nurturing" and reordering the phrase provides a more formal and structured expression.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

  1. Quoted text: "There are evident downsides arising from the increasing accessibility of scientists and tourists to remote natural environments. First of all, the tranquility of isolated areas will be replaced by the hustle and bustle due to the appearance of travelers and scientists."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: Your introduction clearly states the potential drawbacks of increased accessibility to remote natural environments, which is good. However, to enhance clarity and engage the reader more effectively, consider providing a brief roadmap of the main points you will discuss in the essay. For instance, you can mention the specific drawbacks and benefits you will elaborate on in the subsequent paragraphs.
    • Improved example: "While the rising accessibility of scientists and tourists to remote natural environments has its drawbacks, this essay will explore specific challenges such as disruption of tranquility and potential impacts on the environment. Conversely, it will also delve into the considerable benefits, including the transformation of neglected areas and contributions to national development."
  2. Quoted text: "Furthermore, the development of tourist infrastructure in such regions may pose risks to the native habitat, impose pressures upon indigenous communities, and erode their unique cultural identity."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: Your essay effectively highlights the potential negative impacts on the environment and local communities. However, to strengthen your argument, provide more concrete examples or scenarios that illustrate these risks. This will add depth to your discussion and make your points more compelling.
    • Improved example: "For example, the construction of tourist infrastructure may lead to deforestation, threatening the native habitat. Additionally, the influx of tourists can exert pressure on local resources, affecting the livelihoods of indigenous communities. These instances underscore the significant risks associated with the development of tourism in remote areas."
  3. Quoted text: "Nonetheless, the merits associated with this trend far outweigh the limitations, particularly in terms of national development."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: Your transition between the drawbacks and benefits is clear, but consider providing a more explicit statement that summarizes your overall stance on the topic. This will reinforce your position and guide the reader through the essay.
    • Improved example: "In conclusion, while acknowledging the downsides, the advantages of traveling to secluded areas for both tourists and scientists far surpass the disadvantages. Traveling and exploration, nevertheless, are within reasonable bounds and guarantee to preserve the sanctity of these natural environments. Overall, the positive impact on national development and scientific knowledge justifies the increased accessibility to remote natural environments."

Overall, your essay is well-structured and demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic. To improve, focus on providing more concrete examples to support your points and ensure that your position is consistently evident throughout the essay.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay logically organizes information, presenting clear arguments in two distinct paragraphs. Each paragraph has a central topic – the drawbacks and benefits of remote traveling. The use of cohesive devices aids in progression; however, there are moments where the flow could be smoother. The transition between discussing the drawbacks and benefits could be more seamless for improved cohesion. The essay maintains a coherent structure overall.

How to improve:
To enhance cohesion further, work on smoother transitions between contrasting ideas. Aim for a more seamless shift from discussing drawbacks to advantages. Additionally, consider reinforcing the relationship between sentences within paragraphs to refine the overall coherence.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision. There is evidence of the use of less common lexical items with some awareness of style and collocation. The writer effectively conveys ideas with a varied vocabulary, contributing to the overall coherence of the essay. Some errors in word choice and collocation are present, but they are not pervasive and do not significantly hinder comprehension. The essay effectively addresses the advantages and disadvantages of scientists and tourists traveling to remote natural environments.

How to improve: To enhance lexical resource, consider incorporating more sophisticated and nuanced vocabulary to further elevate the overall quality of expression. Pay close attention to word choice and ensure that uncommon lexical items are used accurately and appropriately. Additionally, proofread the essay to eliminate minor errors in spelling and word formation, ensuring a more polished presentation.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a commendable command of grammatical structures. It utilizes a variety of complex sentence structures, showcasing good control of grammar and punctuation. The majority of sentences are error-free, contributing to effective communication. However, there are a few instances of grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that slightly affect the overall fluency and precision of expression. These errors can be considered as occasional ‘slips,’ and they do not significantly hinder the clarity of the message.

How to improve:
To enhance the grammatical range and accuracy, the writer should focus on eliminating minor errors and refining sentence structures. Careful proofreading is essential to catch and rectify any instances of awkward phrasing or grammatical inconsistencies. Additionally, attention to detail in punctuation, such as ensuring proper use of commas and conjunctions, will further elevate the essay’s overall coherence and clarity.

Bài sửa mẫu

In today’s world, the topic of venturing into remote natural environments has sparked debates. Despite certain drawbacks, the benefits of this trend outweigh the negatives.

The downsides of increased access for scientists and tourists to isolated natural areas are apparent. Firstly, the tranquility of these remote locations may be disturbed by the presence of travelers and scientists. Take, for example, Phu Quy Island in Phan Thiet province, Vietnam, once celebrated for its peace, clear water, and fresh air. Now, it faces overcrowding due to daily tourists, leading to noise pollution, crowded beaches, and a noticeable impact on local traditions. Additionally, the development of tourist facilities in these regions could jeopardize the native habitat, exert pressures on indigenous communities, and erode their unique cultural identity.

Nevertheless, the advantages associated with this trend far surpass the drawbacks, especially in terms of national development. Firstly, neglected remote areas can be transformed into valuable assets, serving as tourist attractions like hotels, resorts, and camping areas. These developments not only relieve the strain on overcrowded tourist destinations but also significantly contribute to the overall development of the entire country. For instance, the establishment of eco-friendly resorts can attract tourists while promoting environmental sustainability. Furthermore, scientists exploring these remote areas contribute to scientific progress, offering a vast source of knowledge to humanity. As a result, a wealth of scientific discoveries and innovations becomes accessible, fostering educational and technological advancements for future generations.

In conclusion, despite acknowledging the downsides, the advantages of traveling to secluded areas for both tourists and scientists far outweigh the disadvantages. However, it is crucial that travel and exploration are conducted within reasonable bounds to ensure the preservation of the sanctity of these natural environments.

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