It seems that with the increase in use of mobile phones and computers, fewer people prefer to write letters. Will the skill of writing disappear completely?
It seems that with the increase in use of mobile phones and computers, fewer people prefer to write letters. Will the skill of writing disappear completely?
It is debated that writing skill tends to be vanished due to the popularity of technological advancement. In my own assessment, I disagree with above viewpoint which will be discussed in the following essay with relevant examples to justify it.
Initially, the dominance of emails and text messages will not alter the purposes, contents, and conventions of communication, it only differs in forms of texting. To illustrate, with letters, paper is necessary and the writer needs to have handwriting skills whereas texting on mobile phones or computers requires individuals to study how to use it. However, successful written communications are normally measured by clarity and accuracy which are vital factors that people have to keep unchange. In addition, the cutting-edge technology helps users easily edit such components as vocabulary, grammar, and punctuation before sending. Moreover, with the development of technology, people can show their feelings and wording tone more clearly. For instance, there are numerous modern applications such as Facebook, and Zalo that contain a lot of emotional icons and stickers, therefore, the users can opt to avoid misunderstanding and misinterpretation.
Another noteworthy justification is that communication ways will be simpler with the modernization of technology. With letters, the writer needs paper and it consumes an amount of time for the recipient to receive while texting by mobile phones or computers just needs five to ten seconds, even faster. Consequently, the users can save their money instead of buying a large number of papers. Furthermore, using messages and emails is also a method to protect our environment. For instance, in the past, the popularity of letters led to deforestation, a wide range of trees were cut down to make paper. By contrast, a laptop, people can use it for seven to eight years depending on the quality of the device. Consequently, consumers can both preserve the ecological balance and economize.
In conclusion, for the reasons I have mentioned above, I strongly believe that the writing skills will not disappear, and cutting-edge technological devices bring many benefits for the users.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
Errors and Improvements:
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"It is debated that" -> "There is debate regarding"
Explanation: "It is debated that" is awkward and lacks precision. "There is debate regarding" is a more formal and concise expression. -
"vanished due to" -> "diminished as a result of"
Explanation: "vanished due to" is somewhat informal. "Diminished as a result of" maintains formality and clarity. -
"In my own assessment" -> "In my assessment"
Explanation: "In my own assessment" is redundant. "In my assessment" retains the intended meaning in a more concise manner. -
"above viewpoint" -> "aforementioned viewpoint"
Explanation: "above viewpoint" is unclear and imprecise. "Aforementioned viewpoint" is more formal and specifies the referenced viewpoint clearly. -
"to justify it" -> "to support it"
Explanation: "to justify it" is somewhat colloquial. "To support it" is a more formal and appropriate phrase in academic writing. -
"Initially" -> "Firstly"
Explanation: "Initially" is slightly informal. "Firstly" is a more suitable transition word in academic writing. -
"only differs in forms of texting" -> "only differs in the mode of communication"
Explanation: "Forms of texting" is somewhat vague and imprecise. "Mode of communication" is a clearer and more formal term. -
"whereas" -> "while"
Explanation: "Whereas" can sound slightly informal. "While" is a more formal alternative for indicating contrast. -
"normally measured by" -> "typically assessed based on"
Explanation: "Normally measured by" is informal. "Typically assessed based on" is a more formal and precise phrase. -
"vital factors that people have to keep unchange" -> "essential factors that remain unchanged"
Explanation: "Vital factors that people have to keep unchange" is awkward and ungrammatical. "Essential factors that remain unchanged" conveys the intended meaning in a more formal manner. -
"helps users easily edit such components as" -> "facilitates users in easily editing various components such as"
Explanation: "Helps users easily edit such components as" is awkward and lacks clarity. "Facilitates users in easily editing various components such as" is more formal and specific. -
"show their feelings and wording tone" -> "convey their emotions and tone"
Explanation: "Show their feelings and wording tone" is somewhat informal. "Convey their emotions and tone" is a more formal and precise expression. -
"numerous modern applications such as Facebook, and Zalo that contain" -> "various contemporary applications such as Facebook and Zalo, which contain"
Explanation: "Numerous modern applications such as Facebook, and Zalo that contain" is grammatically incorrect and lacks clarity. "Various contemporary applications such as Facebook and Zalo, which contain" is grammatically correct and more precise. -
"opt to avoid misunderstanding and misinterpretation" -> "choose to mitigate misunderstanding and misinterpretation"
Explanation: "Opt to avoid" is somewhat informal. "Choose to mitigate" is a more formal and appropriate phrase in academic writing. -
"Another noteworthy justification is that" -> "Another significant justification is"
Explanation: "Another noteworthy justification is that" is somewhat redundant. "Another significant justification is" is more concise and appropriate. -
"With letters, the writer needs paper and it consumes an amount of time" -> "Traditional letters require paper and entail a significant time commitment"
Explanation: "With letters, the writer needs paper and it consumes an amount of time" is unclear and awkward. "Traditional letters require paper and entail a significant time commitment" is more formal and precise. -
"while texting by mobile phones or computers just needs five to ten seconds" -> "whereas texting via mobile phones or computers takes only five to ten seconds"
Explanation: "While texting by mobile phones or computers just needs five to ten seconds" is informal and awkward. "Whereas texting via mobile phones or computers takes only five to ten seconds" is more formal and grammatically correct. -
"Consequently, the users can save their money instead of buying a large number of papers" -> "Consequently, users can save money by avoiding the purchase of large quantities of paper"
Explanation: "The users can save their money instead of buying a large number of papers" is somewhat informal and unclear. "Users can save money by avoiding the purchase of large quantities of paper" is more formal and precise. -
"Furthermore, using messages and emails is also a method to protect our environment" -> "Furthermore, utilizing messages and emails serves as a means to protect the environment"
Explanation: "Using messages and emails is also a method to protect our environment" is somewhat informal. "Utilizing messages and emails serves as a means to protect the environment" is more formal and precise. -
"For instance, in the past, the popularity of letters led to deforestation, a wide range of trees were cut down to make paper" -> "For instance, historically, the popularity of letters contributed to deforestation, as a wide range of trees were cut down to produce paper"
Explanation: "In the past, the popularity of letters led to deforestation, a wide range of trees were cut down to make paper" is somewhat informal and lacks clarity. "Historically, the popularity of letters contributed to deforestation, as a wide range of trees were cut down to produce paper" is more formal and precise. -
"By contrast, a laptop, people can use it for seven to eight years depending on the quality of the device" -> "In contrast, a laptop can be used for seven to eight years, depending on the device’s quality"
Explanation: "By contrast, a laptop, people can use it for seven to eight years depending on the quality of the device" is awkward and lacks clarity. "In contrast, a laptop can be used for seven to eight years, depending on the device’s quality" is more formal and grammatically correct. -
"Consequently, consumers can both preserve the ecological balance and economize" -> "Thus, consumers can preserve ecological balance while economizing"
Explanation: "Consequently, consumers can both preserve the ecological balance and economize" is somewhat informal and awkward. "Thus, consumers can preserve ecological balance while economizing" is more formal and concise. -
"for the reasons I have mentioned above" -> "for the aforementioned reasons"
Explanation: "For the reasons I have mentioned above" is somewhat informal and redundant. "For the aforementioned reasons" is more formal and precise.
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Task Response: 6
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Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay adequately addresses all parts of the question. It discusses both sides of the argument regarding the potential disappearance of writing skills in the age of technological advancement. It analyzes the impact of technology on writing skills and presents a clear stance against the idea of complete disappearance.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the essay could delve deeper into the implications of technological advancements on writing skills, considering additional perspectives or potential counterarguments. Providing more specific examples or citing relevant studies could strengthen the argument further.
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Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position throughout, consistently arguing against the notion that writing skills will disappear completely due to technological advancements. The stance is evident from the introduction to the conclusion.
- How to improve: To improve clarity, the essay could explicitly state the stance in the introduction and reiterate it in the conclusion for emphasis. Additionally, reinforcing the position with stronger language or addressing potential opposing viewpoints could enhance the overall clarity.
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Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas adequately, providing examples and explanations to support the argument. It discusses the impact of technology on communication methods and environmental considerations.
- How to improve: To extend and support ideas further, the essay could incorporate more varied examples or delve deeper into the implications of technological advancements on communication dynamics. Providing statistical evidence or referencing relevant research studies could strengthen the argumentation.
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Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, discussing the impact of technology on writing skills and communication methods. However, there are minor deviations, such as the discussion on environmental protection towards the end.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the essay should ensure that all examples and arguments directly relate to the central theme of the impact of technology on writing skills. If including related topics like environmental concerns, it’s essential to tie them back explicitly to the main argument to avoid tangential discussions.
Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the prompt and effectively presents arguments against the complete disappearance of writing skills due to technological advancements. To improve further, the essay could strengthen its argumentation by providing more in-depth analysis, specific examples, and maintaining a tighter focus on the central theme throughout.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7
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Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a clear overall organization with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing different aspects of the topic, and a conclusion summarizing the main points. Each paragraph focuses on a specific idea: the persistence of writing skills despite technological advancements, the comparison between traditional letters and modern messaging, and the benefits of technology in communication. The flow of ideas is generally coherent, with smooth transitions between paragraphs.
- How to improve: While the essay maintains logical organization, enhancing coherence can be achieved by refining the transitions between sentences and paragraphs. Using linking words or phrases to explicitly connect ideas can further improve the flow of the essay. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph maintains a clear focus on its main idea can strengthen the overall coherence.
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Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively employs paragraphs to separate different ideas and arguments. Each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that introduces the main point, followed by supporting details and examples. However, some paragraphs could be further developed to provide more depth and coherence to the arguments presented.
- How to improve: To enhance the effectiveness of paragraphing, consider expanding on each main idea with additional examples or explanations. This can help provide a more thorough analysis of the topic and strengthen the overall coherence of the essay. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph maintains a unified theme and avoids straying off-topic will contribute to clearer and more structured argumentation.
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Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay utilizes cohesive devices such as transitional phrases ("Initially", "Another noteworthy justification", "In conclusion") to guide the reader through the argumentative structure. Additionally, pronouns ("it", "they") are used effectively to maintain coherence within sentences. However, there is room for improvement in diversifying the types of cohesive devices used, as well as in their placement for smoother transitions between ideas.
- How to improve: While the essay employs cohesive devices adequately, expanding the variety of connectors such as conjunctions (e.g., "furthermore", "however", "therefore") and adverbs (e.g., "additionally", "consequently", "for instance") can enhance coherence and improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs. Additionally, paying attention to the placement of these devices to ensure they naturally integrate with the overall structure of the essay will contribute to a more seamless reading experience.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6
- Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, including terms related to technology ("technological advancement," "cutting-edge technology"), communication ("communication ways," "written communications"), and environmental issues ("deforestation," "ecological balance"). However, there is room for improvement in diversifying the vocabulary further to enhance precision and depth of expression.
- How to improve: To enrich the vocabulary range, consider incorporating more nuanced and varied terminology. For instance, instead of repeatedly using generic terms like "technology" or "communication," explore specific vocabulary related to different aspects of technology (e.g., "digital innovation," "telecommunications") or communication methods (e.g., "correspondence," "interpersonal exchange"). Additionally, integrating specialized vocabulary related to environmental concerns or societal impacts of technology can add depth to the essay’s analysis.
- Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary effectively to convey ideas, such as discussing the differences between traditional letters and modern communication methods. However, there are instances where vocabulary could be more precise, leading to clearer communication and stronger argumentation.
- How to improve: Aim for more precise vocabulary choices to enhance clarity and specificity in your arguments. For example, instead of using broad terms like "modernization of technology," consider employing more descriptive language to elucidate the specific advancements or innovations being referenced. Additionally, pay attention to nuances in meaning to ensure that selected vocabulary accurately reflects intended concepts. Avoid vague or ambiguous terms that could obscure the intended message.
- Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates adequate spelling accuracy, with no major spelling errors detracting from overall comprehension. However, there are minor instances of misspellings and grammatical errors that could be addressed to further enhance the clarity and professionalism of the writing.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, consider employing strategies such as proofreading carefully for errors, utilizing spell-check tools, and practicing spelling of commonly misspelled words. Additionally, familiarize yourself with common spelling rules and patterns to minimize mistakes. Consistent attention to spelling accuracy can elevate the overall quality of written communication and convey a polished impression to the reader.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7
- Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a commendable range of sentence structures, incorporating both simple and complex constructions. There is a mix of compound sentences ("Initially, the dominance of emails and text messages will not alter the purposes, contents, and conventions of communication, it only differs in forms of texting."), complex sentences ("Moreover, with the development of technology, people can show their feelings and wording tone more clearly."), and conditional sentences ("For instance, there are numerous modern applications such as Facebook, and Zalo that contain a lot of emotional icons and stickers, therefore, the users can opt to avoid misunderstanding and misinterpretation."). This variety enhances the readability and coherence of the essay.
- How to improve: While the essay demonstrates a satisfactory variety of structures, further diversification could enhance its overall effectiveness. Introducing more complex sentence patterns, such as inverted sentences or parallel structures, can add sophistication and depth to the argumentation.
- Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a high level of grammatical accuracy, with few noticeable errors. However, there are instances of minor grammatical mistakes and punctuation inaccuracies throughout the essay. For example, "it is debated" should be "it is debated that," and "which are vital factors that people have to keep unchange" should be "which are vital factors that people have to keep unchanged." Additionally, there are some punctuation errors, such as missing commas after introductory phrases ("Initially," "Furthermore," "In conclusion,"), and inconsistent capitalization ("For instance, in the past" should be "For instance, in the past," and "Consequently, the users can save their money instead of buying a large number of papers" should be "Consequently, users can save their money instead of buying a large number of papers.").
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, the writer should pay closer attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and the correct usage of articles. Proofreading the essay carefully before submission can help identify and rectify these minor errors. Additionally, consulting grammar guides or seeking feedback from peers can assist in refining punctuation skills and ensuring adherence to grammatical conventions.
Bài sửa mẫu
There is debate regarding whether the skill of writing will be diminished as a result of the increasing popularity of technological advancements. In my assessment, I disagree with the aforementioned viewpoint, and I will discuss this further in the following essay, providing relevant examples to support it.
Firstly, the dominance of emails and text messages will not alter the essential factors of communication, such as purposes, contents, and conventions; it only differs in the mode of communication. To illustrate, while traditional letters require paper and entail a significant time commitment, texting via mobile phones or computers takes only five to ten seconds, facilitating users in easily editing various components such as vocabulary, grammar, and punctuation before sending. Moreover, various contemporary applications such as Facebook and Zalo, which contain a lot of emotional icons and stickers, enable users to convey their emotions and tone clearly, thus helping to mitigate misunderstanding and misinterpretation.
Another significant justification is that modern communication methods simplify the process. Traditional letters require paper and entail a significant time commitment for both the writer and the recipient, whereas texting via mobile phones or computers is much quicker. Consequently, users can save money by avoiding the purchase of large quantities of paper. Furthermore, utilizing messages and emails serves as a means to protect the environment. Historically, the popularity of letters contributed to deforestation, as a wide range of trees were cut down to produce paper. In contrast, a laptop can be used for seven to eight years, depending on the device’s quality. Thus, consumers can preserve ecological balance while economizing.
In conclusion, for the aforementioned reasons, I strongly believe that the skill of writing will not disappear, and cutting-edge technological devices bring many benefits for the users.
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