Large companies should pay higher salaries to CEOs and executives, compared to other workers. Do you agree or disagree

It is argued that companies should give higher compensation to CEOs and executives than to other staff. In my opinion, I slightly agree with that statement.

On the one hand, it is well-developed that giving higher salaries to CEOs can pose a serious unfair advantage for other workers. The essential tasks are often carried by ordinary staff, however they do not have the same salaries as their boss. As a result, it will definitely create unfairness in public companies. Hence, there will be conflicts in the company, and it greatly affects the company’ development. For example, the sister's company has a wide range of conflicts, therefore it is pretty hard for them to have teamwork and conservation to make their business become better.

On the other hand, I also believe that company leaders should have higher salaries. Firstly, they have well-experienced and soft skills, which help business run smoothly.
Therefore, CEOS deserve a large sum of payment compared to other employees. Additionaly, the company leaders need to have wider responsibilities. If there are any problems in the tasks, the CEOS will be the person who has to deal with risks that are extremely harmful for their work. Consequently, it can make them feel pressured in their work. Moreover, the company leaders need to work longer hours than other staff and be available whenever the company needs them. As a result, they do not have much time for their family or friends.That is to say, it is evidence that CEOS need to have higher compensation than other workers. In fact, Tim Cock, who is a CEO in Apple, is working on artificial intelligence as a project manager with a satisfactory salary.

In conclusion, some people believe that giving higher salaries for CEOS is not fair for other worker. However I still agree with the statement that company leaders need to have higher compesation than other staff because they need to have well-experienced and invisible pressure. Therefore they deserve having higher salaries.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"It is argued that" -> "It is contended that"
Explanation: "Contended" is a more formal and precise term than "argued," which is commonly used in academic writing to introduce a proposition or opinion.
"In my opinion, I slightly agree with that statement." -> "I partially concur with this assertion."
Explanation: "Concur" is a more formal synonym for "agree," and "this assertion" is a more precise and formal way to refer to the statement being discussed.
"it is well-developed that" -> "it is widely acknowledged that"
Explanation: "Widely acknowledged" is a more precise and academically appropriate phrase than "well-developed," which is vague and less formal.
"The essential tasks are often carried by ordinary staff, however" -> "The core responsibilities are frequently undertaken by ordinary staff, however"
Explanation: "Core responsibilities" is a more specific term than "essential tasks," and "undertaken" is more formal than "carried," enhancing the academic tone.
"it will definitely create unfairness" -> "it will undoubtedly create unfairness"
Explanation: "Undoubtedly" is a stronger, more formal adverb than "definitely," which is somewhat informal for academic writing.
"it greatly affects the company’ development" -> "it significantly impacts the company’s development"
Explanation: "Significantly impacts" is more precise and formal than "greatly affects," and "company’s" should be possessive to match grammatical rules.
"the sister’s company" -> "the company of the sister"
Explanation: "The company of the sister" is grammatically correct and clearer than "the sister’s company," which is awkward and unclear.
"it is pretty hard for them to have teamwork and conservation" -> "it is challenging for them to foster teamwork and collaboration"
Explanation: "Foster" and "collaboration" are more precise and formal terms than "have teamwork and conservation," which is incorrect and informal.
"Additionaly" -> "Additionally"
Explanation: "Additionally" is the correct spelling, enhancing the professionalism of the text.
"CEOS deserve a large sum of payment" -> "CEOs deserve substantial compensation"
Explanation: "Substantial compensation" is a more formal and precise term than "a large sum of payment," which is vague and informal.
"the company leaders need to have wider responsibilities" -> "company leaders must assume broader responsibilities"
Explanation: "Assume" is more formal and precise than "have," and "broader" is a more academic term than "wider," fitting better in formal writing.
"If there are any problems in the tasks, the CEOS will be the person who has to deal with risks" -> "If issues arise in the tasks, CEOs must address the associated risks"
Explanation: "Must address" is more formal and precise than "has to deal with," and "associated risks" is clearer and more formal than "risks that are extremely harmful for their work."
"it can make them feel pressured in their work" -> "this can lead to increased pressure in their work"
Explanation: "Lead to increased pressure" is a more formal and precise expression than "make them feel pressured," which is somewhat informal and vague.
"That is to say" -> "In other words"
Explanation: "In other words" is a more formal transitional phrase than "That is to say," which is somewhat colloquial.
"some people believe that giving higher salaries for CEOS is not fair for other worker" -> "some argue that higher salaries for CEOs are unfair to other employees"
Explanation: "Argue" is more formal than "believe," and "employees" is the correct plural form, replacing the incorrect "worker."
"company leaders need to have higher compesation" -> "company leaders require higher compensation"
Explanation: "Require" is more formal than "need," and "compensation" is the correct spelling, replacing the typo "compesation."
"they need to have well-experienced and invisible pressure" -> "they must endure significant pressure and experience"
Explanation: "Endure significant pressure and experience" is grammatically correct and more formal than "have well-experienced and invisible pressure," which is awkward and incorrect.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by presenting both sides of the argument regarding whether CEOs should receive higher salaries than other workers. The writer expresses a nuanced view by stating a slight agreement with the notion, which indicates an understanding of the complexity of the issue. However, the arguments presented are somewhat underdeveloped. For instance, while the essay mentions unfairness and conflicts due to salary disparities, it does not provide sufficient depth or examples to fully explore this point. Additionally, the mention of Tim Cook is vague and lacks context, which weakens the argument.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should aim to provide more detailed examples and explanations for both sides of the argument. Including statistics or studies on salary disparities and their effects on employee morale could strengthen the discussion. Furthermore, elaborating on the implications of higher salaries for CEOs on company culture would provide a more comprehensive answer.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear position that leans towards agreeing with the idea that CEOs should earn higher salaries. However, the phrase "I slightly agree" introduces ambiguity, which could confuse readers about the writer’s stance. The argument is somewhat inconsistent, as the writer acknowledges the unfairness of high salaries for CEOs but then justifies them without adequately reconciling these opposing views.
- How to improve: To maintain a clearer position, the writer should explicitly state their main argument in the introduction and consistently reinforce it throughout the essay. Using transitional phrases to connect ideas and clarify the relationship between the points made would help maintain a coherent stance.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas regarding the justification for higher salaries for CEOs, such as their experience, responsibilities, and the pressures they face. However, these ideas are not fully extended or supported with strong evidence. For example, the mention of "well-experienced and soft skills" lacks specific examples of what these skills entail and how they contribute to the company’s success. The argument about Tim Cook is also not well-supported, as it does not explain how his salary correlates with the points made.
- How to improve: To effectively present and support ideas, the writer should aim to elaborate on each point with specific examples, case studies, or data. Providing a clearer link between the claims and their implications on the workforce or company performance would enhance the overall argument.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, addressing the issue of salary disparities between CEOs and other workers. However, there are moments where the focus wavers, particularly in the discussion of conflicts within companies. The reference to "the sister’s company" is unclear and detracts from the main argument, as it does not provide relevant context or clarity.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that all examples and anecdotes directly relate to the central argument. Clarifying vague references and ensuring that each paragraph contributes to the overall thesis will help keep the essay on topic.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a good understanding of the prompt and presents a balanced view, it requires more depth, clarity, and support for its arguments. By addressing these areas, the writer can improve the overall effectiveness of their response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear argument structure, with distinct points made for both sides of the debate regarding CEO salaries. The introduction outlines the writer’s position, while the body paragraphs are organized to discuss the disadvantages and advantages of higher salaries for CEOs. However, the logical flow is occasionally disrupted by unclear transitions and a lack of clear topic sentences that guide the reader through the argument. For example, the transition from discussing unfairness to the advantages of higher salaries could be smoother.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, the writer should ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that encapsulates the main idea. Additionally, using transitional phrases such as "On the contrary" or "In addition" can help guide the reader through the argument more effectively.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively to separate different ideas, which is a strength. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the argument. However, some paragraphs could be more clearly defined. For instance, the second paragraph mixes points about unfairness and the necessity of higher salaries without a clear demarcation between the two ideas, which can confuse the reader.
- How to improve: To improve paragraph structure, the writer should ensure that each paragraph addresses a single main idea. This can be achieved by starting each paragraph with a strong topic sentence and following it with supporting details that are directly related to that idea. Additionally, ensuring that there is a clear conclusion to each paragraph can help reinforce the main points.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "On the one hand" and "On the other hand," which help to contrast the two sides of the argument. However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between sentences and ideas could be clearer. For example, phrases like "As a result" and "That is to say" are used, but their application could be more varied to enhance the overall cohesion of the essay.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, the writer should incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases, such as "Furthermore," "Moreover," "Conversely," and "In contrast." This will not only improve the flow of the essay but also help to clarify the relationships between different ideas. Practicing the use of these devices in different contexts can also aid in making their application more natural.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and presents a balanced argument, improvements in logical organization, paragraph structure, and the use of cohesive devices can enhance clarity and coherence, potentially raising the band score in these criteria.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms such as "compensation," "unfair advantage," and "responsibilities." However, the vocabulary is somewhat repetitive, particularly with the use of "higher salaries" and "CEOs." The phrase "well-experienced and soft skills" is also somewhat awkward and could be expressed more clearly.
- How to improve: To enhance lexical variety, the writer could incorporate synonyms or related phrases. For example, instead of repeatedly using "higher salaries," alternatives like "increased remuneration" or "elevated compensation" could be used. Additionally, phrases like "leadership qualities" or "managerial skills" could replace "soft skills" for clarity.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay includes some imprecise vocabulary choices, such as "the essential tasks are often carried by ordinary staff," which could be better articulated. The term "sister’s company" is unclear and likely a typographical error. Furthermore, "invisible pressure" is vague and does not effectively convey the intended meaning.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on using vocabulary that accurately reflects their ideas. For instance, instead of "the essential tasks are often carried by ordinary staff," a more precise phrase could be "the critical operations are typically managed by lower-level employees." Additionally, clarifying "sister’s company" to "a sister company" or "a competing company" would enhance understanding.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "Additionaly" (should be "Additionally"), "compesation" (should be "compensation"), and "CEOS" (should be "CEOs"). These errors detract from the overall professionalism of the writing and may confuse readers.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread their work carefully or use spell-check tools before submission. Additionally, practicing common spelling patterns and frequently misspelled words can help. Keeping a list of commonly confused terms and reviewing them regularly could also be beneficial.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a satisfactory level of lexical resource, there are areas for improvement in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling accuracy. By incorporating more varied vocabulary, using precise terms, and ensuring correct spelling, the writer can enhance their overall score in this criterion.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of sentence structures. For instance, the use of complex sentences is evident in phrases like "If there are any problems in the tasks, the CEOS will be the person who has to deal with risks that are extremely harmful for their work." However, there is a tendency to rely on simpler structures, which limits the overall variety. The essay also contains some awkward constructions, such as "the essential tasks are often carried by ordinary staff," which could be more effectively phrased.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, the writer should practice incorporating more complex and compound sentences. For example, instead of starting sentences with "Firstly" or "On the one hand," the writer could use introductory clauses or phrases that vary the flow, such as "Given the responsibilities they bear," or "While some argue that…". Additionally, using a mix of active and passive voice can add variety; for instance, "Ordinary staff often carry out essential tasks" could be rephrased to emphasize the staff’s role more dynamically.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from its clarity. For example, "the sister’s company" is likely a typographical error and should be "the company’s sister." Additionally, the phrase "the company leaders need to work longer hours than other staff and be available whenever the company needs them" could benefit from clearer punctuation to separate the clauses effectively. There are also issues with subject-verb agreement, as seen in "CEOS deserve a large sum of payment," where "CEOs" should be pluralized consistently throughout.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on proofreading for common errors, such as subject-verb agreement and proper noun capitalization (e.g., "CEOs" instead of "CEOS"). Practicing sentence diagramming can help identify and correct awkward constructions. Furthermore, reviewing punctuation rules, especially regarding comma usage in complex sentences, will enhance clarity. For instance, adding commas before conjunctions in compound sentences can prevent run-on sentences and improve readability.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a basic understanding of grammatical structures, there is significant room for improvement in both the variety of sentence structures and the accuracy of grammar and punctuation. By focusing on these areas, the writer can work towards achieving a higher band score in future essays.

Bài sửa mẫu

It is contended that companies should give higher compensation to CEOs and executives than to other staff. In my opinion, I partially concur with this assertion.

On the one hand, it is widely acknowledged that giving higher salaries to CEOs can pose a serious unfair advantage for other workers. The core responsibilities are frequently undertaken by ordinary staff; however, they do not have the same salaries as their boss. As a result, it will undoubtedly create unfairness in public companies. Hence, there will be conflicts in the company, and it significantly impacts the company’s development. For example, the company of the sister has a wide range of conflicts; therefore, it is pretty hard for them to foster teamwork and collaboration to improve their business.

On the other hand, I also believe that company leaders should have higher salaries. Firstly, they have well-developed experience and soft skills, which help the business run smoothly. Therefore, CEOs deserve substantial compensation compared to other employees. Additionally, company leaders must assume broader responsibilities. If issues arise in the tasks, CEOs must address the associated risks that are extremely harmful to their work. Consequently, it can make them feel pressured in their work. Moreover, company leaders need to work longer hours than other staff and be available whenever the company needs them. As a result, they do not have much time for their family or friends. In other words, it is evident that CEOs require higher compensation than other workers. In fact, Tim Cook, who is a CEO at Apple, is working on artificial intelligence as a project manager with a satisfactory salary.

In conclusion, some people argue that higher salaries for CEOs are unfair to other employees. However, I still agree with the statement that company leaders need to have higher compensation than other staff because they must endure significant pressure and possess well-developed experience. Therefore, they deserve higher salaries.