fbpx

Large companies should pay higher salaries to CEOs and executives compared to other workers. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Large companies should pay higher salaries to CEOs and executives compared to other workers. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

In this day and age, most CEOs always work very hard so some people say that all large corporation ought to pay more salaries to CEOs or executives than regular employees. From my point of view, I would leans towards such a view and will analyze it in detail in the following essay.

 Nowadays, almost managers in all companies must work so hard to operate their companies and give all important decisions to manage company. In addition, CEOs have to complete all materials and solve all problems of their company. So they should receive much money than other staffs, this is because having higher salaries can make them work more and more hardly.

  Another reason that the managers should have higher salaries is all regular employees can have more motivate and enthusiasm. This is because they will work more hardly to get a raise salaries. As a result, these companies will be more development and operate more better.

In conclusion, CEOs and executives should have higher salaries than other employees is a correct decision.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "In this day and age" -> "In contemporary times"
    Explanation: "In this day and age" is a colloquial expression. "In contemporary times" is more formal and suitable for academic writing.

  2. "most CEOs always work very hard" -> "many CEOs consistently work diligently"
    Explanation: "Always" is too absolute and informal for academic writing. "Consistently" is more precise and formal, and "diligently" is a more academic term than "very hard."

  3. "some people say" -> "it is argued"
    Explanation: "Some people say" is informal and vague. "It is argued" is more formal and appropriate for academic discourse.

  4. "all large corporation" -> "all large corporations"
    Explanation: "corporation" should be pluralized to "corporations" to match the plural context.

  5. "ought to pay more salaries" -> "should pay higher salaries"
    Explanation: "Ought to" is somewhat archaic and less direct; "should" is more commonly used in modern academic writing. "Higher salaries" is more precise than "more salaries."

  6. "I would leans towards" -> "I lean towards"
    Explanation: "Leans" should not be hyphenated in this context. "I lean towards" is grammatically correct and more formal.

  7. "Nowadays" -> "Currently"
    Explanation: "Nowadays" is informal and somewhat colloquial. "Currently" is more formal and suitable for academic writing.

  8. "almost managers" -> "most managers"
    Explanation: "Almost" is vague and informal; "most" is more precise and formal.

  9. "all important decisions" -> "critical decisions"
    Explanation: "All important" is redundant; "critical" is more concise and academically precise.

  10. "give all important decisions" -> "make all critical decisions"
    Explanation: "Give" is incorrect in this context; "make" is the correct verb for decision-making.

  11. "complete all materials" -> "complete all tasks"
    Explanation: "Materials" is vague and incorrect in this context. "Tasks" is the correct term for referring to responsibilities or duties.

  12. "solve all problems" -> "address all challenges"
    Explanation: "Solve" is too simplistic and informal; "address" is more formal and appropriate for describing complex issues.

  13. "So they should receive much money than other staffs" -> "Therefore, they should receive significantly more than other staff"
    Explanation: "So" is too informal and conversational; "Therefore" is more formal. "Much money" is vague; "significantly more" is precise. "Staffs" should be "staff" (no plural form needed).

  14. "having higher salaries can make them work more and more hardly" -> "higher salaries can motivate them to work more diligently"
    Explanation: "Work more and more hardly" is awkward and incorrect. "Motivate them to work more diligently" is clearer and more formal.

  15. "all regular employees can have more motivate and enthusiasm" -> "all regular employees can gain greater motivation and enthusiasm"
    Explanation: "Have more motivate and enthusiasm" is grammatically incorrect and awkward. "Gain greater motivation and enthusiasm" is grammatically correct and more formal.

  16. "work more hardly" -> "work more diligently"
    Explanation: "Work more hardly" is incorrect; "work more diligently" is the correct phrase.

  17. "more development and operate more better" -> "greater development and improved operations"
    Explanation: "More development and operate more better" is grammatically incorrect and awkward. "Greater development and improved operations" is grammatically correct and more formal.

  18. "CEOs and executives should have higher salaries than other employees is a correct decision" -> "It is reasonable for CEOs and executives to receive higher salaries than other employees"
    Explanation: The original sentence is awkwardly phrased and lacks clarity. The revised version is clearer and maintains a formal tone.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to address the prompt regarding whether large companies should pay higher salaries to CEOs and executives compared to other workers. However, it only partially answers the question. The writer expresses agreement with the statement but fails to explore the extent of this agreement or consider counterarguments. For instance, the essay does not discuss any potential drawbacks of high CEO salaries or the implications for income inequality.
    • How to improve: To comprehensively address all elements of the question, the writer should clearly state their position on the extent of agreement or disagreement. Including a balanced view that considers both sides of the argument would strengthen the response. For example, the writer could discuss the benefits of high salaries for motivation and performance while also acknowledging concerns about fairness and equity.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a position that supports higher salaries for CEOs; however, the clarity of this position is undermined by vague language and grammatical errors. Phrases like "I would leans towards such a view" are confusing and detract from the overall message. The position is not consistently reinforced throughout the essay, leading to ambiguity about the writer’s stance.
    • How to improve: The writer should strive for clearer and more assertive language when stating their position. Using definitive phrases such as "I strongly agree" or "I believe" can help convey confidence. Additionally, the writer should ensure that each paragraph supports the central argument without introducing unrelated ideas.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents some ideas regarding the justification for higher salaries, such as the hard work of CEOs and the motivational impact on regular employees. However, these ideas are not well-developed or supported with examples or evidence. For instance, the claim that higher salaries lead to increased motivation lacks specific examples or data to substantiate it.
    • How to improve: To effectively present and support ideas, the writer should provide specific examples, statistics, or real-world scenarios that illustrate their points. For instance, discussing a case where a company’s performance improved after increasing executive salaries could strengthen the argument. Additionally, expanding on each idea with more detailed explanations would enhance the overall quality of the essay.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the salaries of CEOs and executives. However, there are moments where the relevance of certain statements is questionable, such as the vague mention of "more motivate and enthusiasm" without a clear connection to the main argument. The phrase "operate more better" is also unclear and detracts from the clarity of the argument.
    • How to improve: To maintain focus and relevance, the writer should ensure that every statement directly supports the main argument. Avoiding vague language and ensuring that each sentence contributes to the overall message will help keep the essay on track. Additionally, proofreading for grammatical accuracy can enhance clarity and coherence.

In summary, to improve the essay’s Task Response score, the writer should aim for a more balanced exploration of the prompt, present a clearer position, support ideas with specific examples, and maintain focus on the topic throughout the essay.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 5

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the logical flow is often disrupted by unclear connections between ideas. For instance, the transition from discussing the hard work of CEOs to the justification for their high salaries lacks clarity. The second body paragraph introduces a new idea about motivating regular employees, but it does not effectively connect back to the main argument regarding CEO salaries, leading to confusion about the overall stance of the essay.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical organization, the writer should ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that directly relates to the thesis statement. Additionally, using transitional phrases such as "Furthermore," "In addition," or "Conversely" can help clarify the relationship between ideas and improve the overall flow of the essay.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs, but they are not effectively structured. The first body paragraph discusses the hard work of CEOs but does not clearly separate this idea from the justification for their higher salaries. The second paragraph introduces a new point about motivation without a clear transition or linkage to the previous paragraph, making it feel disjointed.
    • How to improve: Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea. The writer could start with a clear topic sentence in each paragraph that outlines the main point. For example, the first paragraph could focus solely on the responsibilities of CEOs and why these justify higher salaries, while the second could explore the motivational effects of salary differences on regular employees. This separation will help the reader follow the argument more easily.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates limited use of cohesive devices. While there are some attempts to use phrases like "In addition" and "this is because," these are not varied enough to create a smooth reading experience. The repetition of similar phrases detracts from the overall coherence of the essay.
    • How to improve: To improve the use of cohesive devices, the writer should incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases. For instance, using "Moreover," "Consequently," and "On the other hand" can help to connect ideas more effectively. Additionally, referring back to previously mentioned ideas or using synonyms can enhance cohesion and avoid redundancy.

Overall, while the essay presents a relevant argument, the coherence and cohesion are hindered by unclear organization, ineffective paragraphing, and limited use of cohesive devices. By focusing on these areas for improvement, the writer can enhance the clarity and effectiveness of their argument.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary, with some appropriate terms such as "CEOs," "executives," "employees," and "motivate." However, the vocabulary used is often repetitive and lacks variety. For instance, the term "hard" is used multiple times in different forms (e.g., "work hard," "more hardly"), which detracts from the overall lexical richness. Additionally, phrases like "higher salaries" and "regular employees" are used without variation, leading to a monotonous reading experience.
    • How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should incorporate synonyms and varied expressions. For example, instead of repeatedly using "hard," alternatives like "diligently," "strenuously," or "intensely" could be employed. Furthermore, using phrases like "compensate adequately" instead of "pay more salaries" can add depth to the vocabulary.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several instances of imprecise vocabulary usage. For example, the phrase "give all important decisions to manage company" is awkward and unclear; a more precise expression would be "make critical decisions for the company." Additionally, the phrase "work more hardly" is grammatically incorrect; the correct form would be "work harder." The use of "motivate" as a noun in "have more motivate" is also incorrect; it should be "motivation."
    • How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on using vocabulary that accurately conveys the intended meaning. This can be achieved by reviewing grammar rules and ensuring that the correct forms of words are used. Engaging with vocabulary exercises that emphasize context and usage can also be beneficial.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "leads" instead of "leans," "motivate" instead of "motivation," and "development" instead of "develop." These errors indicate a lack of attention to detail and can detract from the overall clarity of the writing.
    • How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should practice proofreading their work before submission. Utilizing spell-check tools and maintaining a list of commonly misspelled words can be helpful. Additionally, reading more extensively can improve familiarity with correct spelling and reinforce proper word forms.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a basic understanding of the topic and some relevant vocabulary, there are significant areas for improvement in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling accuracy. By actively working on these aspects, the writer can enhance their lexical resource and potentially achieve a higher band score in future essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of sentence structures. For instance, many sentences follow a simple structure, such as "CEOs have to complete all materials and solve all problems of their company." This sentence lacks complexity and variety, which could make the writing more engaging. Additionally, the use of phrases like "this is because" and "from my point of view" indicates an attempt to connect ideas, but the overall structure remains basic and repetitive.
    • How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, consider incorporating more complex sentences that include subordinate clauses. For example, instead of saying "CEOs have to complete all materials," you might say, "Although CEOs are responsible for completing all materials, they also need to solve various problems that arise within the company." This not only adds complexity but also makes the writing more fluid and sophisticated.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues. For example, "I would leans towards such a view" should be "I would lean towards such a view," indicating a subject-verb agreement error. Additionally, the phrase "this is because having higher salaries can make them work more and more hardly" is awkwardly constructed; "hardly" should be replaced with "harder." Furthermore, punctuation is inconsistent, such as the lack of commas in compound sentences, which can lead to run-on sentences and confusion.
    • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, it is essential to review subject-verb agreement and verb forms. Practicing sentence construction and ensuring that verbs match their subjects in number and tense will be beneficial. For punctuation, consider revising sentences to include appropriate commas, especially in compound sentences. For instance, "So they should receive much money than other staffs" could be revised to "Therefore, they should receive more money than other staff members." This not only corrects the grammatical error but also improves clarity.

In summary, to achieve a higher band score, focus on diversifying sentence structures and ensuring grammatical accuracy. Regular practice and revision can significantly enhance the overall quality of your writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

In contemporary times, most CEOs consistently work very hard, so some people say that all large corporations ought to pay higher salaries to CEOs or executives than to regular employees. From my point of view, I lean towards such a view and will analyze it in detail in the following essay.

Currently, most managers in all companies must work diligently to operate their companies and make all critical decisions to manage them. In addition, CEOs have to complete all tasks and solve all problems of their company. Therefore, they should receive significantly more than other staff; this is because having higher salaries can motivate them to work more diligently.

Another reason that managers should have higher salaries is that all regular employees can gain greater motivation and enthusiasm. This is because they will work harder to earn a raise in salaries. As a result, these companies will experience greater development and improved operations.

In conclusion, it is reasonable for CEOs and executives to receive higher salaries than other employees, and this is a correct decision.

Bài viết liên quan

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more…

IELTS Writify

Chấm IELTS Writing Free x GPT

Lưu ý

Sắp bảo trì server

Để đảm bảo tính ổn định của web, web sẽ thực hiện backup dữ liệu hàng ngày từ 3h-3h30 sáng

Rất mong quý thầy cô và học viên thông cảm vì bất tiện này