Large companies should pay higher salaries to CEOs and executives compared to other workers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Large companies should pay higher salaries to CEOs and executives compared to other workers.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is thought that large companies should pay CEOs and executives higher salaries than the workers. From my point of view, I firmly agree with this opinion.

To begin with, CEOs and executives have to do more decisive tasks than ordinary employees. Since they play the role of the head officers, Who will decide eventually whether to agree to a decision or not, they are more responsible for the final results than most of the other workers. Hence, those people have to deal with a huge pressure from their decisions, which carries both personal and organizational influences. In other words, CEOs and executives take the responsibility of the whole company's success. and they should be charged more for keeping the positive productivity of their companies.

In addition, their amounts of working tasks are frequently high, which requires CEOs and executives to spend more time on their occupation. This gives rise to the reduction of their personal time for other purposes such as their family or healthcare services. In the long term, sparing less quality personal time may lead to the leaders' suffering from adverse effects. For instance, their health problems or their family falling apart. Thus, higher income will help them to have a legal desire to contribute to their jobs, which might result in mentioned negative impacts.

In conclusion, I strongly agree with the opinion that CEOs and executives should be paid higher income than other employees as they have to deal with decisive and high amounts of working tasks.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"From my point of view" -> "In my opinion"
Explanation: "From my point of view" is slightly informal for academic writing. "In my opinion" is a more formal and commonly used phrase to express personal viewpoint.
"I firmly agree with this opinion" -> "I strongly support this viewpoint"
Explanation: "Firmly agree" is somewhat colloquial. "Strongly support" is a more formal and precise expression for endorsing a particular perspective.
"To begin with" -> "Firstly" or "First and foremost"
Explanation: "To begin with" is less formal compared to "Firstly" or "First and foremost", which are more appropriate for academic writing.
"decisive tasks" -> "crucial tasks"
Explanation: "Decisive" could imply making decisions, but "crucial" better emphasizes the importance of the tasks CEOs and executives undertake.
"ordinary employees" -> "rank-and-file employees"
Explanation: "Ordinary employees" may sound somewhat dismissive. "Rank-and-file employees" is a more neutral and formal term to refer to non-managerial staff.
"play the role of the head officers" -> "fulfill the role of top executives"
Explanation: "Play the role of" is a bit informal. "Fulfill the role of" is a more formal expression suitable for academic writing.
"Who will decide eventually whether to agree to a decision or not" -> "Who ultimately decide on whether to approve decisions"
Explanation: The original phrase is awkwardly structured. The suggested alternative is more concise and clearer in meaning.
"those people" -> "these individuals" or "these professionals"
Explanation: "Those people" is overly informal. "These individuals" or "these professionals" is more suitable for academic writing.
"huge pressure" -> "tremendous pressure"
Explanation: "Huge" is somewhat informal. "Tremendous" is a more precise and formal term to describe intense pressure.
"personal and organizational influences" -> "personal and organizational ramifications"
Explanation: "Influences" is a bit vague. "Ramifications" is a more formal term that conveys the broader impacts of their decisions.
"In other words" -> "Moreover" or "Furthermore"
Explanation: "In other words" is more for clarification rather than introducing additional points. "Moreover" or "Furthermore" better indicate continuation or expansion of the argument.
"the responsibility of the whole company’s success" -> "the success of the entire company"
Explanation: Restructuring the phrase to "the success of the entire company" makes it more concise and clearer in meaning.
"charged more" -> "compensated accordingly"
Explanation: "Charged more" could imply a negative connotation. "Compensated accordingly" is a more neutral and formal term.
"amounts of working tasks" -> "workloads"
Explanation: "Amounts of working tasks" is awkward phrasing. "Workloads" is a more concise and appropriate term for academic writing.
"gives rise to" -> "results in"
Explanation: "Gives rise to" is slightly informal. "Results in" is a more formal and precise alternative.
"spending less quality personal time" -> "sacrificing personal time"
Explanation: "Spending less quality personal time" is verbose. "Sacrificing personal time" is a more concise and appropriate phrase.
"adverse effects" -> "negative consequences"
Explanation: "Adverse effects" is a bit formal. "Negative consequences" is a clearer and more commonly used term.
"might result in mentioned negative impacts" -> "could lead to the aforementioned adverse effects"
Explanation: "Might result in mentioned negative impacts" is awkward phrasing. "Could lead to the aforementioned adverse effects" is more formal and clearer in meaning.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses all parts of the question. It acknowledges the prompt by expressing agreement with the notion that CEOs and executives should receive higher salaries than other workers. The writer elaborates on reasons supporting this perspective, discussing the responsibilities and pressures associated with executive roles.
- How to improve: To enhance comprehensiveness, the essay could further explore potential counterarguments or alternative perspectives. Including a brief acknowledgment of opposing viewpoints followed by a rebuttal would strengthen the argument’s depth and balance.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear stance throughout, consistently arguing in favor of higher salaries for CEOs and executives. Each paragraph reinforces the central idea that executive positions warrant greater compensation due to their responsibilities and workload.
- How to improve: To bolster clarity, the writer should ensure that each paragraph explicitly connects back to the thesis statement, reinforcing the central argument. Additionally, employing transitional phrases between paragraphs can enhance coherence and signal shifts in the discussion.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively presents, extends, and supports its ideas with relevant examples and reasoning. It elaborates on the distinct tasks and pressures faced by CEOs and executives, supporting these claims with logical explanations.
- How to improve: To strengthen the essay’s development, the writer could incorporate specific examples or case studies demonstrating the impact of executive decisions on company success. Additionally, providing statistical evidence or expert opinions would add credibility to the arguments presented.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay largely stays on topic, focusing on the issue of CEO and executive compensation throughout. While some tangential points are briefly mentioned, such as the potential personal sacrifices made by executives, they are directly related to the central argument.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that all supporting points directly contribute to the main argument without delving too far into unrelated topics. Streamlining the discussion to prioritize the most compelling points would enhance coherence and relevance.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the prompt and effectively argues in favor of higher salaries for CEOs and executives. By addressing the identified areas for improvement, such as exploring counterarguments and enhancing coherence, the writer can further strengthen the essay’s persuasiveness and depth of analysis.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a logical organization by presenting a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph focuses on a distinct aspect of the argument, starting with the general concept of CEOs and executives having more significant responsibilities and then delving into the specifics of their tasks and the potential consequences of their workload. The progression of ideas is coherent, with each point building upon the previous one to support the overall argument.
- How to improve: To further enhance logical organization, consider refining the transitions between paragraphs to create smoother connections between ideas. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph maintains a clear focus on one main point to avoid potential confusion for the reader.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively utilizes paragraphs to structure the argument. Each paragraph addresses a specific aspect of the argument, such as the responsibilities of CEOs and executives or the potential consequences of their workload. The introduction sets up the argument, the body paragraphs provide supporting evidence and analysis, and the conclusion summarizes the main points.
- How to improve: To improve paragraph structure, ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea. Additionally, consider varying the length and complexity of sentences within paragraphs to maintain reader engagement and enhance clarity.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs a variety of cohesive devices to connect ideas and maintain coherence throughout the text. Examples include transitional phrases like "To begin with" and "In addition," which signal shifts between different aspects of the argument. Additionally, pronouns such as "they" and "their" are used effectively to refer back to previously mentioned concepts, contributing to overall coherence.
- How to improve: To further diversify cohesive devices, consider incorporating a wider range of transition words and phrases to indicate different types of relationships between ideas (e.g., cause and effect, comparison, contrast). Additionally, pay attention to the consistency of pronoun references to avoid potential ambiguity or confusion for the reader.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a fair range of vocabulary, with varied terms such as "decisive tasks," "head officers," "positive productivity," "adverse effects," etc. However, some repetition occurs, such as the frequent use of "CEOs and executives," which could be diversified.
- How to improve: To enhance the range of vocabulary, consider employing synonyms or alternative phrases to avoid repetitive use of terms like "CEOs and executives." Additionally, integrating more sophisticated vocabulary related to business management and leadership could elevate the lexical variety.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary effectively, though there are instances where vocabulary could be more precise. For example, the phrase "higher salaries" could be replaced with more specific terms like "compensation packages" or "remuneration."
- How to improve: Aim for precision in vocabulary choice by selecting terms that accurately convey intended meanings. Use domain-specific vocabulary related to business and employment to add nuance and clarity to arguments.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: Spelling accuracy is generally satisfactory, with no glaring errors noted in the essay.
- How to improve: Continue practicing spelling accuracy and consider utilizing spell-check tools or proofreading techniques to catch any potential errors before final submission. Additionally, expanding vocabulary through reading can aid in reinforcing correct spelling conventions.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a satisfactory level of lexical resource, there is room for improvement in diversifying vocabulary, precision of word choice, and continued attention to spelling accuracy. Integrating a broader range of vocabulary and refining precision in expression can contribute to a more sophisticated and polished writing style.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a fair range of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For instance, simple sentences like "To begin with, CEOs and executives have to do more decisive tasks than ordinary employees" are used alongside more complex structures such as "Since they play the role of the head officers, who will decide eventually whether to agree to a decision or not, they are more responsible for the final results than most of the other workers."
- How to improve: To further enhance the variety and effectiveness of sentence structures, consider integrating a wider range of complex sentence structures, such as the use of relative clauses or conditional sentences. This can add depth and sophistication to the essay’s expression.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay demonstrates a good level of grammatical accuracy, with only minor errors present. For example, there is a missing comma after "To begin with" in the opening paragraph, and a slight grammatical issue in the phrase "their health problems or their family falling apart" where "falling apart" should be "falling apart may occur". However, these errors do not significantly impede comprehension.
- How to improve: To further improve grammatical accuracy, pay close attention to punctuation rules, particularly the use of commas to separate introductory phrases or clauses. Additionally, carefully review sentence structure to ensure conciseness and clarity, avoiding potential ambiguity or awkward phrasing.

Overall, the essay effectively communicates the writer’s viewpoint and supports it with coherent reasoning. By refining sentence structures for greater variety and ensuring meticulous attention to grammatical accuracy, the essay could further elevate its clarity and impact.

Bài sửa mẫu

It is my belief that large companies should indeed offer higher salaries to CEOs and executives compared to rank-and-file employees.

Firstly, these individuals undertake crucial tasks that significantly impact the success of the entire company. As top executives, they fulfill the role of making decisive decisions, which ultimately determine the course of action for the organization. The weight of these decisions places tremendous pressure on them, as their choices carry both personal and organizational ramifications. Moreover, the success of the entire company rests heavily on their shoulders. Therefore, it is only fair that they are compensated accordingly for their pivotal role in driving the company forward.

Furthermore, the workload of CEOs and executives is often substantial, requiring them to sacrifice personal time in order to fulfill their responsibilities. This constant demand on their time could result in negative consequences, such as health issues or strained personal relationships. Thus, it is essential that they receive adequate compensation for their efforts, which serves as a recognition of their dedication and also helps to mitigate the potential adverse effects of their demanding roles.

In summary, I firmly agree that CEOs and executives deserve higher salaries than other employees due to the critical nature of their responsibilities and the sacrifices they make in fulfilling their roles.