Large companies should pay much higher salaries to CEO or company presidents than to their employees. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Receiving decent wage is a motivating factor for many working people in management positions. Although there are some arguments that the gap of compensation would negatively affect the firm performance, I agree that High-level executives from big cooperations should be paid more than other regular employees.
No one can deny that the wage gap is an indicator of whether a company is sharing wealth internally. Once workers become aware of this, they would perceive the widening gap as a type of labor deprivation, which would have a detrimental impact on their morale, devotion, and creativity, ultimately reducing their output, thereby lowering their productivity. In other words, in order for the long-term growth of a corporation, a balance between the compensation of different parties is essential.
However, I also believe that senior managers deserve higher income for the following reasons. The first reason for the compensation gap is that the fundamental difference between executives and workers’ role lies in the far greater responsibilities. With years of experience or superior qualifications in specific fields, these skilled managers possess the expertise that most other workers lack. Moreover, these C-levels people often work under an enormous amount of pressure to make the most important de in the company, even though they are responsible for any failure resulting from their determinations. Another significant approach is that this policy can generate a compelling motivation for employees to actively engage and contribute to their organizations. This strategy can foster a healthy competition among employees, boosting higher performance and exceeding the KPIs (Key Performance Indicators)
In conclusion, although the roles of workers are undeniable, from my standpoint, it is necessary to pay higher salaries to higher level managers to achieve outstanding performances.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Receiving decent wage" -> "Receiving a decent wage"
Explanation: Adding "a" before "decent wage" corrects the grammatical error and aligns with standard English usage, enhancing the formal tone of the sentence.
"gap of compensation" -> "compensation gap"
Explanation: "Compensation gap" is a more commonly used and precise term in economic and business contexts, improving the academic tone of the phrase.
"big cooperations" -> "large corporations"
Explanation: "Large corporations" is the correct term, providing a more formal and precise description of the type of organizations being referred to.
"No one can deny" -> "It is undeniable"
Explanation: "It is undeniable" is a more formal and academically appropriate way to introduce a statement that is widely accepted as true.
"labor deprivation" -> "perceived labor exploitation"
Explanation: "Perceived labor exploitation" is a more specific and accurate term that better captures the negative impact on workers’ morale and behavior.
"would perceive the widening gap as a type of labor deprivation" -> "may perceive the widening gap as labor exploitation"
Explanation: "May perceive" softens the certainty, which is more appropriate in academic writing, and "labor exploitation" is a more precise term than "labor deprivation."
"in order for the long-term growth of a corporation" -> "for the long-term growth of a corporation"
Explanation: Removing "in order for" simplifies the sentence structure, making it more direct and formal.
"senior managers deserve higher income" -> "senior managers are entitled to higher remuneration"
Explanation: "Are entitled to higher remuneration" is a more formal and precise expression, suitable for an academic context.
"far greater responsibilities" -> "significantly greater responsibilities"
Explanation: "Significantly greater" is a more precise adverbial phrase that enhances the formality and specificity of the description.
"these C-levels people" -> "these C-level executives"
Explanation: "C-level executives" is the correct term, providing clarity and specificity about the type of managers being referred to.
"make the most important de in the company" -> "make the most critical decisions in the company"
Explanation: "Make the most critical decisions" corrects the grammatical error and provides a clearer, more formal expression.
"determinations" -> "decisions"
Explanation: "Decisions" is the correct term, replacing the incorrect "determinations," which is not commonly used in this context.
"Another significant approach is that this policy can generate" -> "Another significant aspect of this policy is that it can generate"
Explanation: "Another significant aspect of this policy is that it can generate" rephrases the sentence to improve clarity and formality.
"boosting higher performance" -> "enhancing performance"
Explanation: "Enhancing performance" is a more precise and academically appropriate term than "boosting higher performance," which is redundant.
"exceeding the KPIs" -> "exceeding their Key Performance Indicators (KPIs)"
Explanation: Adding "their" clarifies the possessive relationship and provides a complete reference to the KPIs, enhancing clarity and formality.

These changes refine the vocabulary and structure of the essay to better align with academic standards and enhance the precision and formality of the language used.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by presenting a clear opinion that supports higher salaries for CEOs compared to regular employees. It acknowledges the counterargument regarding the potential negative impact of salary disparity on employee morale, which shows an understanding of the complexity of the issue. However, the essay could have more explicitly stated the extent of agreement or disagreement, which is a critical aspect of the prompt. The phrase "to what extent" implies a need for a more nuanced discussion rather than a straightforward agreement.
- How to improve: To enhance the response to all parts of the question, the writer should clearly articulate their position on the extent of their agreement or disagreement. This could involve stating whether they believe the salary gap should be minimal, moderate, or substantial, and providing a rationale for that specific stance.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a generally clear position that supports higher salaries for executives, but it occasionally wavers when discussing the negative effects of wage disparity. For instance, the mention of the detrimental impact on morale could lead readers to question the writer’s stance. The conclusion reiterates the support for higher salaries but does not effectively summarize the extent of agreement with the initial acknowledgment of the negative consequences.
- How to improve: To maintain a clearer position throughout, the writer should consistently reinforce their viewpoint in each paragraph. They could use transitional phrases that remind the reader of their stance, such as "Despite these concerns, I firmly believe…" or "While acknowledging the potential drawbacks, my position remains that…". This would help solidify their argument and prevent any ambiguity.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas supporting the argument for higher salaries, such as the greater responsibilities of executives and the motivational effects of salary disparities. However, some points could benefit from further elaboration. For example, the claim about the motivation of employees could be supported with examples or evidence from studies that show how competitive salaries can lead to better performance.
- How to improve: To effectively present, extend, and support ideas, the writer should aim to provide more detailed explanations and examples for each point made. Incorporating statistics, real-world examples, or expert opinions could strengthen the argument and provide a more compelling case for the proposed salary structures.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the salary disparity between CEOs and employees. However, the introduction of the negative impact on morale, while relevant, could divert attention from the main argument supporting higher salaries for executives. This could confuse readers about the writer’s primary focus.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that all points made directly support their main argument. They could consider limiting the discussion of counterarguments or integrating them more seamlessly into the overall argument. For instance, discussing the negative effects of wage disparity could be framed as a consideration that does not undermine the necessity of higher salaries for executives but rather emphasizes the need for balance.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a clear argument, there are areas for improvement in articulating the extent of agreement, maintaining a consistent position, providing more detailed support for ideas, and ensuring focus throughout the essay. By addressing these aspects, the writer can enhance the overall effectiveness of their argument and potentially achieve a higher band score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear argument in favor of higher salaries for CEOs compared to regular employees. The introduction sets the stage for the discussion, and the body paragraphs are structured to present both sides of the argument. However, the transition between ideas could be smoother. For example, the shift from discussing the negative impact of wage gaps on morale to the justification for higher executive salaries feels abrupt. The ideas are relevant but could benefit from clearer connections.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using transitional phrases that explicitly link ideas. For instance, after discussing the negative effects of wage disparity, a phrase like "On the other hand" could help introduce the justification for higher salaries for executives. Additionally, outlining the main points in the introduction can provide a roadmap for the reader, making it easier to follow the argument.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the argument. The first paragraph introduces the topic, while the subsequent paragraphs delve into the reasons supporting the argument. However, the second body paragraph could be split into two separate paragraphs to better delineate the different points being made about the responsibilities of executives and the motivational aspects of salary differences.
- How to improve: To improve paragraphing, ensure that each paragraph contains a single main idea supported by relevant evidence. For instance, the discussion about the responsibilities of executives could be one paragraph, while the motivational aspects could form another. This would allow for a more focused discussion and clearer presentation of ideas.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable use of cohesive devices, such as "however," "moreover," and "in conclusion." These devices help to connect ideas and guide the reader through the argument. However, the range of cohesive devices used is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between sentences could be strengthened. For example, the phrase "Another significant approach" is somewhat vague and could be replaced with a more precise transitional phrase.
- How to improve: To diversify and effectively use cohesive devices, consider incorporating a wider variety of linking words and phrases. For instance, using "furthermore" or "in addition" to introduce additional points can enhance the flow of the essay. Additionally, using phrases like "this illustrates that" or "consequently" can help clarify the relationships between ideas and strengthen the overall coherence of the essay.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a coherent argument. By focusing on enhancing logical organization, refining paragraph structure, and diversifying cohesive devices, the essay could achieve an even higher score in coherence and cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms like "decent wage," "morale," "devotion," and "productivity" showcasing an understanding of the topic. However, the use of vocabulary is somewhat limited in variety, particularly in discussing the nuances of the arguments. For instance, phrases like "higher income" and "compensation gap" are repeated without variation, which could enhance the essay’s sophistication.
- How to improve: To improve lexical range, the writer could incorporate synonyms or related terms. For example, instead of repeating "higher income," alternatives like "increased remuneration" or "elevated salaries" could be used. Additionally, exploring more descriptive adjectives (e.g., "substantial," "significant," "exorbitant") could help convey the arguments more effectively.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: While the essay uses some vocabulary correctly, there are instances of imprecise usage. For example, the phrase "C-levels people" is awkward and could be more clearly expressed as "C-level executives" or "C-suite leaders." Additionally, the term "de in the company" appears to be a typographical error, likely intended to be "decisions," which detracts from clarity.
- How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should carefully proofread for typographical errors and ensure that terms are used in their correct context. Utilizing a thesaurus can help find more appropriate vocabulary choices. For instance, instead of "labor deprivation," a more precise term might be "income inequality" or "wage disparity."
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "cooperations" instead of "corporations," and "de" instead of "decisions." These errors can distract the reader and undermine the overall professionalism of the writing.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should implement a thorough proofreading process, possibly reading the essay aloud or using spell-check tools. Additionally, maintaining a personal list of commonly misspelled words and practicing them can be beneficial. Engaging in regular writing exercises that focus on spelling can also help reinforce correct spelling habits.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents clear arguments, improvements in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling accuracy are necessary to achieve a higher band score in the Lexical Resource criterion.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences and some compound sentences. For example, the writer uses phrases like "Although there are some arguments that the gap of compensation would negatively affect the firm performance" and "In other words, in order for the long-term growth of a corporation, a balance between the compensation of different parties is essential." These structures effectively convey complex ideas. However, there are instances of repetitive sentence beginnings and a lack of varied clause structures, which can make the writing feel somewhat monotonous.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, the writer could incorporate more introductory phrases, use passive voice where appropriate, and experiment with different conjunctions to connect ideas. For example, instead of starting multiple sentences with "The first reason…" or "Another significant approach is that…", the writer could use phrases like "One compelling argument is…" or "Additionally, it can be argued that…". This would create a more dynamic flow and engage the reader more effectively.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay shows a good command of grammar, but there are notable errors that detract from its overall clarity. For instance, phrases like "High-level executives from big cooperations" should be "High-level executives from big corporations," and "the far greater responsibilities" could be better articulated as "the significantly greater responsibilities." Additionally, there are punctuation issues, such as missing commas that could clarify meaning, particularly in complex sentences. For example, "Moreover, these C-levels people often work under an enormous amount of pressure to make the most important de in the company" contains a typographical error ("de" should be "decisions") and could benefit from a comma before "even though" to separate the clauses.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should proofread the essay to catch typographical errors and ensure correct word forms are used. Practicing sentence diagramming could help in understanding complex structures better. Furthermore, reviewing punctuation rules, especially concerning the use of commas in compound and complex sentences, would enhance clarity. The writer might consider using grammar-checking tools or seeking feedback from peers to identify and correct errors before finalizing their work.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of grammatical range and accuracy, focusing on diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical precision will help elevate the writing to a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

Receiving a decent wage is a motivating factor for many working people in management positions. Although there are some arguments that the gap in compensation would negatively affect firm performance, I agree that high-level executives from large corporations should be paid more than regular employees.

No one can deny that the wage gap is an indicator of whether a company is sharing wealth internally. Once workers become aware of this, they may perceive the widening gap as a type of labor exploitation, which would have a detrimental impact on their morale, devotion, and creativity, ultimately reducing their output and lowering their productivity. In other words, in order for the long-term growth of a corporation, a balance between the compensation of different parties is essential.

However, I also believe that senior managers deserve higher income for the following reasons. The first reason for the compensation gap is that the fundamental difference between executives and workers’ roles lies in the significantly greater responsibilities. With years of experience or superior qualifications in specific fields, these skilled managers possess the expertise that most other workers lack. Moreover, these C-level executives often work under an enormous amount of pressure to make the most critical decisions in the company, even though they are responsible for any failures resulting from their determinations. Another significant aspect of this policy is that it can generate a compelling motivation for employees to actively engage and contribute to their organizations. This strategy can foster healthy competition among employees, boosting performance and exceeding their Key Performance Indicators (KPIs).

In conclusion, although the roles of workers are undeniable, from my standpoint, it is necessary to pay higher salaries to higher-level managers to achieve outstanding performance.