Many feel that today most urgent problems can only be solved by international cooperation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There are a trend to connect many countries to address international issues to gain efficiency. While I accept that there are many challenges when countries cooperate, I believe that these positive effects outweighed by challenges that they meet.
On the one hand, I understand why some people support this view is due to international projects’ sphere such as global economic instability, climate change, often exceed the capabilities of individual nations to address independently. To reach consensus in solving global problems, the solution for countries is to sign international agreements. In fact, international agreements such as the Paris Agreement, impress on cooperation to many governments. For example, we witnessed the covid pandemic and against the spread, it had the consensus and cooperation between countries. It is logical to think that to combat these difficulties effectively, nations must unite, allocate resource and cooperation towards sustainable solutions.
However, there are many challenges in international cooperation. Differences in national goals such as long term or short term target is barriers for collaboration. For example, many countries focus economic aspect or some countries focus citizens’ health, therefore leading to conflicts and delays in decision-making. Moreover, to address for global issues depends on complying with agreements and regulations which can be inconsistent. In additional, when benefits from collaboration is not equal with nations. Some individual nations receive breakthroughs while some individual nations do not receive expected benefits and even drawback.
In conclusion, while international cooperation meet certain challenges, I am of the belief that it is essential for sustainable and equitable solutions regarding a world as a whole. Therefore, fostering stronger international alliances should be a priority for the many nations.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"There are a trend" -> "There is a trend"
Explanation: "There is a trend" corrects the grammatical error and aligns with the singular noun "trend," enhancing the sentence’s grammatical accuracy and formality.
"to address international issues to gain efficiency" -> "to address international issues more efficiently"
Explanation: The phrase "to gain efficiency" is awkward and redundant. "More efficiently" directly addresses the intended meaning and is more concise and natural in academic writing.
"I accept that there are many challenges when countries cooperate" -> "I acknowledge that numerous challenges arise when countries cooperate"
Explanation: "I accept" can be seen as too passive and informal for academic writing. "I acknowledge" is more assertive and formal. "Numerous" is also more precise than "many" in formal contexts.
"outweighed by challenges that they meet" -> "outweighed by the challenges they face"
Explanation: "that they meet" is vague and incorrect. "The challenges they face" is more specific and appropriate for the context, enhancing clarity and formality.
"I understand why some people support this view is due to" -> "I understand why some people support this view because"
Explanation: The original phrase is grammatically incorrect. "Because" is the correct conjunction to use in this context, improving the sentence structure and clarity.
"international projects’ sphere" -> "the sphere of international projects"
Explanation: "Projects’ sphere" is awkward and unclear. "The sphere of international projects" is grammatically correct and clearer, enhancing readability and formality.
"often exceed the capabilities of individual nations to address independently" -> "often exceed the capabilities of individual nations to address independently"
Explanation: This is a repetition of the same phrase. Removing the repetition improves the flow and avoids redundancy.
"impress on cooperation" -> "impose cooperation"
Explanation: "Impress on" is incorrect. "Impose" is the correct verb to use in this context, meaning to enforce or require cooperation.
"we witnessed the covid pandemic and against the spread" -> "we witnessed the COVID-19 pandemic and its spread"
Explanation: "Against the spread" is grammatically incorrect. "Its spread" is the correct phrase, providing clarity and grammatical accuracy.
"to combat these difficulties effectively" -> "to effectively combat these difficulties"
Explanation: Rearranging the words improves the sentence structure, making it more formal and direct.
"Differences in national goals such as long term or short term target is barriers for collaboration" -> "Differences in national goals, such as long-term or short-term targets, serve as barriers to collaboration"
Explanation: "Is barriers for" is grammatically incorrect. "Serve as barriers to" corrects the grammar and enhances formality. Also, "long term" and "short term" should be hyphenated as "long-term" and "short-term" for proper adjectival form.
"to address for global issues" -> "to address global issues"
Explanation: "To address for" is incorrect. "To address" is the correct preposition for this context, making the phrase grammatically correct and more formal.
"In additional" -> "In addition"
Explanation: "In additional" is a typographical error. "In addition" is the correct phrase, enhancing the professionalism of the text.
"when benefits from collaboration is not equal with nations" -> "when the benefits of collaboration are not equal among nations"
Explanation: "Is not equal with nations" is grammatically incorrect and awkward. "Are not equal among nations" corrects the grammar and clarifies the meaning, improving the sentence’s formality and clarity.
"breakthroughs while some individual nations do not receive expected benefits and even drawback" -> "breakthroughs, while some nations do not receive the expected benefits and even experience drawbacks"
Explanation: "Breakthroughs while some individual nations" is awkward and unclear. "Breakthroughs, while some nations" is clearer and more formal. "Even drawback" should be "even drawbacks" for grammatical correctness and clarity.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both the benefits and challenges of international cooperation in solving urgent global problems. The introduction clearly states the author’s position, indicating a belief that the positive effects of cooperation outweigh the challenges. However, the response could be more balanced; while the author mentions challenges, the elaboration on positive effects is somewhat limited. For instance, the examples provided (the Paris Agreement and COVID-19 cooperation) are relevant but could be expanded to illustrate the effectiveness of international cooperation more thoroughly.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the author should ensure that both sides of the argument are explored in greater depth. This could involve providing more examples of successful international cooperation and explaining how these instances have led to tangible benefits, thereby reinforcing the position taken.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that supports the necessity of international cooperation. However, the phrasing in some areas, such as "I believe that these positive effects outweighed by challenges," is somewhat unclear and could lead to confusion about the author’s stance. The phrase should be restructured to clearly indicate that the author believes the benefits outweigh the challenges.
- How to improve: To maintain clarity, the author should use straightforward language and ensure that the position is consistently articulated throughout the essay. Reiterating the main argument in the conclusion and ensuring that each paragraph ties back to this central claim can help reinforce the position.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas related to international cooperation and its challenges. However, some points lack sufficient development. For example, the mention of differing national goals is a strong point but could be expanded with specific examples or statistics to illustrate how these differences have historically led to failed agreements or delays in action.
- How to improve: To improve the development of ideas, the author should aim to provide more detailed explanations and examples. Each point made should be followed by an elaboration that connects it back to the main argument, ensuring that the reader understands its relevance.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on international cooperation and its challenges. However, there are moments where the discussion could be more focused. For instance, the phrase "to address for global issues depends on complying with agreements and regulations which can be inconsistent" could be more directly tied to the main argument about the necessity of cooperation.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the author should ensure that every point made directly relates to the prompt. Using topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph can help clarify the main idea being discussed and its relevance to the overall argument.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and presents a clear argument, it would benefit from more detailed examples, clearer phrasing, and stronger connections between ideas.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs addressing both sides of the argument, and a conclusion. However, the logical flow could be improved. For instance, the transition from discussing the benefits of international cooperation to the challenges is somewhat abrupt. The phrase "However, there are many challenges in international cooperation" could be better linked to the previous paragraph to enhance the flow of ideas.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using transitional phrases that explicitly connect ideas between paragraphs. For example, after discussing the benefits, a sentence like "Despite these advantages, there are significant challenges that must be addressed" would create a smoother transition.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which is essential for clarity. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the argument. However, the first body paragraph could be more clearly divided into two distinct points: one discussing the benefits of international cooperation and another discussing specific examples. This would help to clarify the argument and provide a more structured approach.
- How to improve: To improve paragraphing, ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea. Start with a topic sentence that encapsulates the paragraph’s focus. For example, the first body paragraph could be split into two: one focusing on the general benefits of cooperation and the other providing specific examples, such as the Paris Agreement and the COVID-19 pandemic response.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "On the one hand," "However," and "In conclusion." However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and some phrases are used repetitively, which can detract from the overall coherence. For instance, the phrase "for example" appears multiple times without variation, which could make the writing feel monotonous.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating a wider range of linking words and phrases. For example, instead of repeatedly using "for example," you could use "such as," "for instance," or "to illustrate." Additionally, using phrases like "in contrast" or "conversely" can help clarify relationships between ideas and enhance the overall flow of the essay.

By addressing these areas for improvement, the essay can achieve a higher level of coherence and cohesion, potentially leading to a higher band score in future assessments.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a fair range of vocabulary, with terms like "international cooperation," "global economic instability," and "sustainable solutions." However, the vocabulary is somewhat repetitive and lacks variety in expression. For instance, the phrase "international cooperation" appears multiple times without synonyms or paraphrasing, which could enhance the essay’s lexical diversity.
- How to improve: To improve, consider incorporating synonyms or related phrases. For example, instead of repeatedly using "international cooperation," you could use "global collaboration," "multinational partnerships," or "cross-border efforts." This will not only diversify your vocabulary but also demonstrate a broader lexical resource.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: There are instances of imprecise vocabulary usage that can lead to confusion. For example, the phrase "the positive effects outweighed by challenges" is grammatically incorrect and lacks clarity. It should be "the positive effects are outweighed by the challenges." Additionally, the term "address for global issues" should be "address global issues."
- How to improve: Focus on ensuring that vocabulary is used correctly within context. Review sentences for grammatical accuracy and clarity. It may be helpful to practice writing sentences that clearly express your ideas without ambiguity. Using tools like thesauruses can also help in finding more precise words.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "a trend" (should be "a trend" instead of "there are a trend") and "in additional" (should be "additionally"). These errors detract from the overall professionalism of the writing.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, consider implementing a proofreading strategy. After writing, take a break and then review your work with fresh eyes. Additionally, using spell-check tools and practicing commonly misspelled words can be beneficial. Regular reading can also help reinforce correct spelling through exposure to well-written texts.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a reasonable command of vocabulary, there are areas for improvement in range, precision, and spelling. By diversifying vocabulary, ensuring grammatical accuracy, and focusing on spelling, you can enhance your lexical resource and potentially achieve a higher band score.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of sentence structures, including complex sentences and some varied clauses. For instance, the use of phrases like "to address international issues" and "to combat these difficulties effectively" shows an attempt at complexity. However, the overall structure tends to rely on simpler forms, which limits the variety. Sentences such as "There are a trend to connect many countries" and "the solution for countries is to sign international agreements" show a lack of sophistication in structure.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, consider incorporating more compound-complex sentences. For example, instead of saying "there are many challenges in international cooperation," you could say, "While international cooperation presents numerous challenges, it also offers significant opportunities for collective problem-solving." Additionally, using more varied introductory phrases and clauses can help diversify sentence openings.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from its overall clarity. For example, "There are a trend" should be corrected to "There is a trend," and "the positive effects outweighed by challenges" should read "the positive effects are outweighed by the challenges." Additionally, punctuation errors, such as missing commas in complex sentences, can lead to confusion. For instance, "to sign international agreements" lacks a comma before the clause that follows it, which would clarify the meaning.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, it is essential to review subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles. Practicing sentence correction exercises can also be beneficial. For punctuation, pay attention to the rules regarding commas, especially in complex sentences. Reading the essay aloud can help identify areas where pauses are needed, indicating where commas should be placed. Lastly, consider seeking feedback from peers or using grammar-checking tools to catch errors before finalizing the essay.

Bài sửa mẫu

There is a trend to connect many countries to address international issues more efficiently. While I acknowledge that numerous challenges arise when countries cooperate, I believe that the positive effects are often outweighed by the challenges they face.

On the one hand, I understand why some people support this view. The sphere of international projects, such as global economic instability and climate change, often exceeds the capabilities of individual nations to address independently. To reach a consensus in solving global problems, the solution for countries is to sign international agreements. In fact, international agreements such as the Paris Agreement emphasize the importance of cooperation among many governments. For example, during the COVID-19 pandemic, we witnessed the need for consensus and cooperation between countries to combat its spread. It is logical to think that to effectively combat these difficulties, nations must unite, allocate resources, and impose cooperation towards sustainable solutions.

However, there are many challenges in international cooperation. Differences in national goals, such as long-term or short-term targets, serve as barriers to collaboration. For instance, many countries may focus on economic aspects, while others prioritize citizens’ health, leading to conflicts and delays in decision-making. Moreover, addressing global issues depends on complying with agreements and regulations, which can be inconsistent. In addition, when the benefits of collaboration are not equal among nations, some countries may receive breakthroughs, while others do not experience the expected benefits and may even face drawbacks.

In conclusion, while international cooperation presents certain challenges, I am of the belief that it is essential for sustainable and equitable solutions regarding the world as a whole. Therefore, fostering stronger international alliances should be a priority for many nations.