Many of the world’s cities are currently facing a serious housing shortage. What are some of the reasons for this shortage and what solutions can you suggest?
Many of the world's cities are currently facing a serious housing shortage. What are some of the reasons for this shortage and what solutions can you suggest?
It is undeniable that the deficiency of housing is one of the most pressing issues that the world has to face today. My essay below will delve into two primary causes, including an ever-growing demand for accommodation in metropolises and a limitation in the amount of flat land available for residential buildings as well as suggest two feasible solutions to this problem.
To commence with, insufficient housing can be attributed to two reasons as follows. Chief among the primary contributing factors to this alarming trend lies in the excess of demand over supply in urban areas. This is due to the fact that general interest in living in the cities remains high, contributing the the unprecedented population growth and increased density. This, consequently, leads to megacities becoming a highly desirable real estate market, which may in turn lead to the housing shortage as a result. This happens frequently in cities whose dweller population remains exceptionally high and city builders are not capable of building cities quickly enough to cater to that growth. Apart from that, the limited amount of flat land available for residential purposes is also attributable to this phenomenon, which is in light of physical features such as seas, rivers, and mountains. That is not to mention the competitive uses of land from commercial, industrial, and recreational sectors. Once land is dedicated for one use, it will not be available for another one.
Serious as this irreversible trend may seem, it can be tackled by applying the two principal solutions as suggested below. The most practical method is the willingness to commit a larger proportion of land supply as well as spend extra money to housing needs from the government. This implies that additional government spending to subsidize the building of ‘social’ housing, together with allowing greater flexibility in planning could help increase supply, which requires a change in political commitment. This may involve reducing the amount of protected greenbelt land as well as streamlining the regulations home-builders have to meet. Besides, another sustainable solution is to discourage buy to let second homes, which is a factor in pushing up prices. One policy would be to provide disincentives for buy-to-let houses, involving a higher rate of tax on second homes, which, therefore, may lead to a reduction in the number of people owning more than one home.
All things considered, this is a complex issue that can hardly be solved in the short term; however, if we consistently follow the above-mentioned measures, it is likely that this problem can be overcome.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
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"It is undeniable that" -> "It is evident that"
Explanation: "It is evident that" is a more formal and precise alternative to "It is undeniable that," which can sound slightly colloquial and emphatic for academic writing. -
"the deficiency of housing" -> "the shortage of housing"
Explanation: "Shortage" is a more commonly used term in academic and formal contexts when discussing the lack of housing, making it more precise and appropriate for the essay. -
"My essay below will delve into" -> "This essay will explore"
Explanation: Removing "My" makes the sentence more impersonal and formal, which is preferred in academic writing. "Delve into" can be replaced with "explore" for a more neutral and academic tone. -
"an ever-growing demand for accommodation" -> "an increasing demand for housing"
Explanation: "Increasing demand" is a more precise term than "ever-growing," which can be seen as overly dramatic and less formal. "Housing" is also a more specific term than "accommodation." -
"a limitation in the amount of flat land" -> "a scarcity of flat land"
Explanation: "Scarcity" is a more precise term than "limitation," which is vague and less specific. It directly conveys the idea of a lack of availability. -
"suggest two feasible solutions" -> "propose two viable solutions"
Explanation: "Propose" is more formal and academically appropriate than "suggest," and "viable" is a more precise term than "feasible" in this context, implying practicality and effectiveness. -
"To commence with" -> "To begin with"
Explanation: "To begin with" is a more standard and formal phrase in academic writing compared to "To commence with," which can sound slightly archaic. -
"the excess of demand over supply" -> "the imbalance between demand and supply"
Explanation: "Imbalance" is a more precise term than "excess," which can be vague and less formal. "Between demand and supply" is also more commonly used in economic and academic contexts. -
"general interest in living in the cities remains high" -> "urban residency remains popular"
Explanation: "Urban residency remains popular" is a more concise and formal way to express the idea, avoiding the vague "general interest." -
"This, consequently, leads to" -> "This, therefore, results in"
Explanation: "Results in" is a more direct and formal expression than "leads to," which can be seen as less precise in academic writing. -
"the housing shortage" -> "the housing shortage"
Explanation: This is a repetition of the term "housing shortage" to emphasize the severity and importance of the issue, which is appropriate in academic writing. -
"the competitive uses of land" -> "the competing uses of land"
Explanation: "Competing" is more precise and formal than "competitive," which can be less specific in this context. -
"Serious as this irreversible trend may seem" -> "Despite the severity of this irreversible trend"
Explanation: "Despite the severity of" is a more formal and academically appropriate way to introduce a contrast, avoiding the colloquial "Serious as." -
"The most practical method is the willingness to commit" -> "A practical approach is to commit"
Explanation: "A practical approach is to" is more direct and formal, avoiding the awkward construction of "The most practical method is the willingness to." -
"spend extra money to housing needs" -> "allocate additional funds to housing needs"
Explanation: "Allocate additional funds" is a more precise and formal expression than "spend extra money," which is too casual for academic writing. -
"allowing greater flexibility in planning" -> "enabling more flexible planning"
Explanation: "Enabling more flexible planning" is a more concise and formal way to express the idea, avoiding the passive construction of "allowing greater flexibility." -
"streamlining the regulations home-builders have to meet" -> "simplifying the regulations for homebuilders"
Explanation: "Simplifying the regulations for homebuilders" is more direct and formal, avoiding the awkward "have to meet." -
"discourage buy to let second homes" -> "discourage the purchase of second homes for investment"
Explanation: "The purchase of second homes for investment" is a clearer and more formal way to describe the practice of buying homes solely for rental income, avoiding the colloquial "buy to let." -
"a higher rate of tax on second homes" -> "increased taxation on second homes"
Explanation: "Increased taxation" is a more formal and precise term than "a higher rate of tax," which is somewhat vague and informal for academic writing.
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8
Band Score for Task Response: 8
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Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both parts of the prompt by identifying two primary causes of the housing shortage: the high demand for accommodation in urban areas and the limited availability of land. The discussion of these causes is relevant and well-articulated, providing a clear understanding of the issues at hand. Additionally, the essay presents two feasible solutions: increased government commitment to housing and discouraging buy-to-let second homes. Each part of the question is answered thoroughly, demonstrating a strong grasp of the topic.
- How to improve: To enhance the response further, the writer could provide more specific examples or case studies to illustrate the causes and solutions. For instance, mentioning specific cities experiencing these issues or referencing successful policies implemented elsewhere could strengthen the argument and provide a more comprehensive view.
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Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position throughout, asserting that the housing shortage is a significant issue and that specific solutions can be implemented to address it. The introduction sets the stage effectively, and the conclusion reiterates the complexity of the issue while affirming the proposed solutions. The logical flow of ideas supports the overall position, making it easy for the reader to follow the writer’s argument.
- How to improve: While the position is clear, the writer could enhance the essay by explicitly stating their stance in the conclusion, perhaps by summarizing the urgency of the issue and the necessity of the proposed solutions. This would reinforce the writer’s commitment to the argument and leave a lasting impression on the reader.
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Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents and supports ideas well, with each cause and solution elaborated upon. For instance, the discussion about the excessdemand over supply is detailed and supported by logical reasoning. The solutions are also well thought out, with explanations of how they could be implemented. However, some points could benefit from deeper exploration or additional supporting evidence.
- How to improve: To improve the development of ideas, the writer could include statistical data or research findings related to housing shortages and the effectiveness of the proposed solutions. This would not only substantiate the claims made but also demonstrate a more in-depth understanding of the topic.
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Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic throughout, addressing the causes and solutions to the housing shortage without deviating into unrelated areas. The structure is coherent, with each paragraph contributing to the overall argument. The writer successfully avoids tangents, which is crucial for maintaining clarity and relevance in an IELTS essay.
- How to improve: To further ensure that the essay stays on topic, the writer should review each paragraph to confirm that all content directly relates to the housing shortage and its solutions. Additionally, using clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph can help reinforce the focus and guide the reader through the argument more effectively.
Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the task and effectively communicates the necessary points. With some minor adjustments and enhancements, it could achieve an even higher level of excellence.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7
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Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs addressing causes and solutions, and a conclusion. The introduction effectively outlines the two main causes and solutions, which sets a clear expectation for the reader. However, the transition between the causes and solutions could be smoother. For instance, the phrase "Serious as this irreversible trend may seem" could be more directly linked to the preceding discussion on causes to enhance logical flow.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using transitional phrases that explicitly connect ideas between paragraphs. For example, after discussing the causes, a sentence like "Having identified the root causes of the housing shortage, it is essential to explore potential solutions" would create a clearer bridge to the next section.
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Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the topic. The first body paragraph discusses the causes, while the second addresses the solutions. However, the paragraphs could benefit from clearer topic sentences that encapsulate the main idea of each paragraph. For instance, the first body paragraph could start with a sentence that clearly states the two causes before elaborating on them.
- How to improve: Strengthen paragraph structure by ensuring each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence. This will help guide the reader through your argument. For example, you could start the first body paragraph with, "The housing shortage can primarily be attributed to two significant factors: the imbalance between demand and supply in urban areas and the limited availability of land."
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Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good use of cohesive devices, such as "to commence with," "apart from that," and "besides," which help to connect ideas. However, there are instances where repetition of certain phrases, like "this may involve," can detract from the overall cohesiveness. Additionally, the use of cohesive devices could be more varied to enhance the flow of ideas.
- How to improve: Diversify the range of cohesive devices used throughout the essay. Instead of repeating phrases, consider alternatives such as "in addition," "furthermore," or "consequently." This will not only improve the flow but also demonstrate a wider range of vocabulary. Additionally, ensure that cohesive devices are used appropriately to maintain clarity; for instance, using "for instance" or "for example" when providing specific examples can enhance clarity.
Overall, the essay exhibits a solid understanding of coherence and cohesion principles, but with targeted improvements in logical organization, paragraph structure, and the variety of cohesive devices, it could achieve a higher band score.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7
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Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with terms like "deficiency," "metropolises," "unprecedented population growth," and "social housing." These words effectively convey the complexity of the housing shortage issue. However, there are instances where the vocabulary could be more varied. For example, the phrase "limited amount of flat land" could be expressed using synonyms like "scarcity of flat terrain" or "restricted availability of flat land."
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should aim to incorporate more synonyms and varied expressions throughout the essay. Practicing with vocabulary lists related to urban development and housing can help in this regard. Additionally, using phrases that convey similar meanings in different contexts would demonstrate greater lexical flexibility.
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Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary accurately, but there are moments of imprecision. For instance, the phrase "the competitive uses of land from commercial, industrial, and recreational sectors" could be clearer. The term "competitive uses" might be better articulated as "competing demands" to clarify that these sectors vie for land resources. Additionally, "the excess of demand over supply" could be simplified to "demand exceeding supply" for clearer understanding.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on clarity and simplicity in word choice. Reviewing the essay for phrases that could be misinterpreted or are overly complex can help. Engaging in exercises that emphasize the use of precise language in context, such as rewriting sentences for clarity, can also be beneficial.
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Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay displays a high level of spelling accuracy, with only minor errors such as "the the" in the phrase "contributing the the unprecedented population growth." This indicates a generally strong command of spelling, which is crucial for achieving a higher band score.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread the essay carefully to catch typographical errors. Utilizing spell-check tools and practicing spelling through writing exercises can also help. Additionally, reading extensively can improve familiarity with correct spelling in context, reinforcing memory of word forms.
Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and employs a good range of vocabulary. By focusing on increasing vocabulary variety, enhancing precision, and ensuring spelling accuracy, the writer can aim for an even higher band score in future writing tasks.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8
Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8
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Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. For instance, complex sentences such as "This is due to the fact that general interest in living in the cities remains high, contributing to the unprecedented population growth and increased density" effectively convey intricate ideas. Additionally, the use of conditional structures in "if we consistently follow the above-mentioned measures" showcases the writer’s ability to express hypothetical situations. However, while there is a good range, some sentences could be further diversified to enhance the overall flow and engagement of the essay.
- How to improve: To further diversify sentence structures, the writer could incorporate more compound-complex sentences and varying sentence openings. For example, starting sentences with adverbial phrases or using inversion for emphasis could add depth. Additionally, varying the length of sentences can create a more dynamic rhythm in the writing, making it more engaging for the reader.
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Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay exhibits a high level of grammatical accuracy, with only minor errors. For instance, the phrase "contributing the the unprecedented population growth" contains a typographical error ("the the" should be "to the"). Additionally, the use of commas is generally effective, though there are instances where additional commas could clarify meaning, such as before "which may in turn lead to the housing shortage as a result." This could help in breaking down complex ideas for better readability.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, the writer should carefully proofread the essay to catch typographical errors and ensure that all phrases are correctly constructed. Practicing the use of commas in complex sentences can also improve clarity. It may be beneficial to review rules regarding punctuation in compound and complex sentences to ensure that the intended meaning is always clear. Furthermore, utilizing grammar-checking tools could help identify potential errors before final submission.
In summary, while the essay demonstrates a strong command of grammatical range and accuracy, focusing on diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical precision will further elevate the quality of the writing.
Bài sửa mẫu
It is evident that the shortage of housing is one of the most pressing issues that the world faces today. This essay will explore two primary causes of this problem, including an increasing demand for housing in urban areas and a scarcity of flat land available for residential buildings, as well as propose two viable solutions to address this issue.
To begin with, the housing shortage can be attributed to two main reasons. Chief among these is the imbalance between demand and supply in metropolitan areas. The general interest in urban residency remains high, contributing to unprecedented population growth and increased density. This, therefore, results in megacities becoming highly desirable real estate markets, which may lead to the housing shortage as a consequence. This situation frequently occurs in cities with exceptionally high populations, where builders are unable to construct new housing quickly enough to accommodate this growth. Additionally, the limited amount of flat land available for residential purposes exacerbates this phenomenon, influenced by physical features such as seas, rivers, and mountains. Moreover, the competing uses of land for commercial, industrial, and recreational purposes further complicate the situation. Once land is designated for one use, it becomes unavailable for another.
Despite the severity of this irreversible trend, it can be tackled by implementing two principal solutions. A practical approach is to commit a larger proportion of land supply and allocate additional funds to housing needs from the government. This implies that increased government spending to subsidize the construction of ‘social’ housing, along with enabling more flexible planning, could help boost supply, which requires a change in political commitment. This may involve reducing the amount of protected greenbelt land and simplifying the regulations for homebuilders. Furthermore, another sustainable solution is to discourage the purchase of second homes for investment purposes, which contributes to rising prices. One policy could involve increased taxation on second homes, which may lead to a reduction in the number of individuals owning more than one property.
All things considered, this is a complex issue that cannot be resolved in the short term; however, if we consistently follow the measures outlined above, it is likely that this