Many people argue that in order to improve educational quality, high school students are encouraged to make comments or even critisism on their teachers. Others think it will lead to loss of respect and discipline in the classroom. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Whether pupils should leave feedback on their teaching instructors to enhance educational quality or not has sparked considerable debate. This author is of the opinion that it is better not to make comments, as it will result in discipline in the classroom and teachers can be hurt rather than an improvement in educational quality

It is vital to acknowledge that when the students can leave feedback on their teacher, the teacher will be more careful in teaching students This can lead to many actions of bad seniors. Additionally, the lessons can be affected as teachers cannot manage the learners. In many countries, there are a lot of teachers who teach very well but their students do not get great marks. This is because the teachers are scared of punishing students as this can affect their careers.

There are bowever, some individuals still think that leaving rates or even criticism can help improve educational quality. This belief is based on the fact that not all student can suit the teaching method of their teachers, it can be too fast or too slow for them to understand. This may be true but some easy-going teachers may not be able to encounter the bad students

This writer contends that there are many students who do not want to study can disturb the lessons. Moreover, they can threaten their teachers with negative comments to make they are unemployed. This can lead to several consequences and the worst one can be the teacher's death. Thus, high school scholars shouldn't be encouraged to make comments or criticism on their teachers.

To sum up, verbal is a two-sided knife, the comments can enhance the quality of education, but, they can lead to severe results. this essay has demonstrated how leaving feedback on teachers can impact the classroom.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Whether pupils should leave feedback on their teaching instructors" -> "Whether students should provide feedback to their instructors"
Explanation: Replacing "pupils" with "students" aligns with the more common usage in academic contexts, and "provide feedback to" is a more formal and precise phrase than "leave feedback on."
"it is better not to make comments" -> "it is advisable not to offer comments"
Explanation: "It is advisable" is a more formal expression than "it is better," and "offer comments" is more precise than "make comments," which can imply a more active role than intended.
"will result in discipline in the classroom" -> "may lead to a more disciplined classroom environment"
Explanation: "May lead to" suggests possibility rather than certainty, which is more appropriate in academic writing. "A more disciplined classroom environment" is a clearer and more formal way to describe the outcome.
"teachers can be hurt" -> "teachers may be affected emotionally"
Explanation: "May be affected emotionally" is a more precise and formal way to describe the potential impact on teachers, avoiding the colloquial and vague term "hurt."
"when the students can leave feedback on their teacher" -> "when students are permitted to provide feedback to their teachers"
Explanation: "Permitted to provide feedback to their teachers" is more formal and specific than "can leave feedback on their teacher," which is somewhat informal and imprecise.
"bad seniors" -> "misbehaving students"
Explanation: "Misbehaving students" is a more specific and academically appropriate term than "bad seniors," which is vague and informal.
"the lessons can be affected" -> "the teaching may be impacted"
Explanation: "The teaching may be impacted" is a more formal and precise way to describe the potential effects on the teaching process.
"a lot of teachers" -> "many teachers"
Explanation: "Many teachers" is a more formal and precise term than "a lot of teachers," which is colloquial.
"do not get great marks" -> "do not achieve high grades"
Explanation: "Achieve high grades" is a more formal and precise expression than "get great marks," which is somewhat informal.
"scared of punishing students" -> "concerned about disciplining students"
Explanation: "Concerned about disciplining students" is a more formal and appropriate way to describe the teachers’ feelings, avoiding the colloquial "scared of."
"bowever" -> "however"
Explanation: "However" is the correct spelling, not "bowever."
"leaving rates or even criticism" -> "providing feedback or criticism"
Explanation: "Providing feedback or criticism" is a clearer and more formal way to describe the act of giving comments.
"not all student can suit" -> "not all students can adapt to"
Explanation: "Not all students can adapt to" is grammatically correct and more precise than "not all student can suit," which is grammatically incorrect and vague.
"easy-going teachers" -> "lenient teachers"
Explanation: "Lenient teachers" is a more formal and precise term than "easy-going teachers," which is colloquial.
"can threaten their teachers with negative comments" -> "can intimidate their teachers with negative comments"
Explanation: "Intimidate" is a more precise and formal term than "threaten," which is somewhat informal in this context.
"make they are unemployed" -> "force them to become unemployed"
Explanation: "Force them to become unemployed" is grammatically correct and more formal than "make they are unemployed," which is grammatically incorrect and informal.
"the worst one can be the teacher’s death" -> "the worst consequence could be the teacher’s death"
Explanation: "The worst consequence could be" is a more formal and precise way to express potential outcomes, avoiding the colloquial "the worst one can be."
"verbal is a two-sided knife" -> "feedback is a double-edged sword"
Explanation: "Feedback is a double-edged sword" is a common idiomatic expression that is more appropriate and understood in academic contexts than "verbal is a two-sided knife," which is incorrect and unclear.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to address both views regarding whether students should provide feedback on their teachers. However, it does not fully explore the implications of each perspective. For instance, while the author mentions that feedback can lead to better teaching practices, the discussion lacks depth and specific examples. The opposing view is presented, but it is not sufficiently developed, particularly regarding how feedback could enhance educational quality.
- How to improve: To improve, the essay should clearly delineate both sides of the argument with balanced examples. The writer could include specific instances where feedback has led to positive changes in teaching or where a lack of feedback has resulted in negative outcomes. This would provide a more comprehensive response to the prompt.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay states a clear opinion against student feedback early on, but this position becomes muddled as the essay progresses. The author acknowledges the potential benefits of feedback but ultimately does not reconcile these benefits with their stated position. For example, the phrase "this writer contends that there are many students who do not want to study" introduces confusion regarding the stance on feedback.
- How to improve: The writer should consistently reinforce their position throughout the essay. This can be achieved by restating the main argument in the conclusion and ensuring that each paragraph ties back to the central thesis. Clear transitions and signposting can help maintain focus on the author’s viewpoint.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents some ideas but lacks sufficient development and support. For example, the claim that teachers may be "hurt" by feedback is vague and unsubstantiated. Additionally, the mention of "bad seniors" is unclear and does not effectively support the argument. The essay also fails to provide concrete examples or evidence to back up its claims, which weakens the overall argument.
- How to improve: To enhance idea presentation, the writer should elaborate on each point with specific examples, statistics, or studies that support their claims. This could include referencing educational research that shows the effects of student feedback on teaching quality or providing anecdotal evidence from schools where feedback is encouraged.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: While the essay generally stays on topic, there are moments where the focus shifts. For instance, the mention of "the worst one can be the teacher’s death" is an extreme statement that detracts from the main argument and could confuse readers. The essay also introduces the idea of "bad students" without clearly linking it back to the main topic of feedback.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that all points made directly relate to the prompt. Avoiding extreme or unrelated examples will help keep the discussion relevant. Each paragraph should clearly connect back to the central question of whether feedback should be encouraged or discouraged.

By addressing these areas for improvement, the essay could achieve a higher band score by demonstrating a more thorough understanding of the task, presenting a clearer and more consistent argument, and providing well-supported ideas that stay on topic.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing both views, and a conclusion. However, the logical flow is somewhat disrupted by unclear transitions between ideas. For instance, the argument about teachers being scared to punish students is introduced abruptly without sufficient context or connection to the preceding point about feedback. This lack of clear progression makes it harder for the reader to follow the author’s line of reasoning.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, the author should ensure that each paragraph clearly connects to the thesis and that transitions between points are smooth. Using phrases like "In addition," "Conversely," or "Furthermore" can help guide the reader through the argument. Additionally, outlining the main points before writing could help in structuring the essay more coherently.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs, but their effectiveness is limited by unclear topic sentences and the mixing of ideas. For example, the second paragraph attempts to address the potential benefits of feedback but quickly shifts to a negative perspective without a clear transition. This can confuse readers about the main point of each paragraph.
- How to improve: Each paragraph should begin with a clear topic sentence that outlines the main idea. The author should also ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single aspect of the argument. For instance, one paragraph could solely discuss the benefits of feedback, while another could focus on the drawbacks. This separation will enhance clarity and make the argument more persuasive.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs a few cohesive devices, such as "additionally" and "moreover," but overall, the range is limited, and some devices are used incorrectly or awkwardly. For example, "this author is of the opinion" is a somewhat clumsy phrase that could be simplified. Additionally, phrases like "this writer contends" are repetitive and do not add to the flow of the essay.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, the author should incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases, such as "however," "on the other hand," and "for instance." Furthermore, varying sentence structures can also improve cohesion. Instead of repeatedly stating "this writer," the author could use synonyms or rephrase sentences to maintain reader engagement.

By addressing these areas of improvement, the author can enhance the coherence and cohesion of the essay, potentially raising the band score in this criterion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary. Phrases like "sparked considerable debate," "enhance educational quality," and "negative comments" indicate an attempt to use varied language. However, the vocabulary is somewhat repetitive and lacks sophistication. For instance, the term "teachers" is used frequently without synonyms or variations, which could enrich the text.
- How to improve: To enhance lexical variety, the writer could incorporate synonyms or related terms. For example, instead of repeatedly using "teachers," alternatives like "instructors," "educators," or "facilitators" could be employed. Additionally, using phrases like "constructive feedback" instead of just "comments" would add depth to the vocabulary.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: While there are instances of appropriate vocabulary, there are also several imprecise usages. For example, the phrase "actions of bad seniors" is unclear and could confuse readers. The term "bad seniors" lacks specificity and clarity. Furthermore, the phrase "the worst one can be the teacher’s death" is overly dramatic and not an appropriate way to convey the potential consequences of negative feedback.
- How to improve: The writer should aim for more precise language. Instead of "bad seniors," they could specify "problematic students" or "disruptive individuals." Additionally, the phrase regarding consequences could be rephrased to something more measured, such as "could lead to serious professional repercussions for teachers."
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "critisism" (should be "criticism") and "bowever" (should be "however"). These errors detract from the overall professionalism of the writing and can confuse readers.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread their work carefully or use spelling and grammar checking tools before submission. Additionally, practicing spelling through writing exercises or flashcards can help reinforce correct spelling of commonly used words.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a reasonable command of vocabulary, there are clear areas for improvement in range, precision, and spelling accuracy. By incorporating a wider variety of terms, using language more precisely, and focusing on spelling, the writer can enhance their lexical resource significantly.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of sentence structures. Most sentences are simple or compound, lacking the complexity that could enhance the argument. For example, phrases like "this author is of the opinion" and "this writer contends" are repetitive and do not showcase varied sentence forms. The use of conditional structures is minimal, and there are few complex sentences that could better articulate nuanced ideas.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, consider incorporating more complex sentences that include subordinate clauses. For instance, instead of saying "the teacher will be more careful in teaching students," you could say, "if students are allowed to leave feedback, teachers may become more attentive to their teaching methods." Additionally, using a mix of declarative, interrogative, and conditional sentences can enhance the essay’s overall sophistication.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from its clarity. For example, "this can lead to many actions of bad seniors" is awkwardly phrased and unclear. The phrase "there are bowever" contains a spelling error ("however"), and there are instances of missing commas, such as in "the teacher will be more careful in teaching students This can lead to many actions." This lack of punctuation leads to run-on sentences that confuse the reader.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, it is essential to proofread the essay carefully. Focus on subject-verb agreement and ensure that sentences are complete and clear. For instance, the sentence "this can lead to many actions of bad seniors" could be rephrased for clarity and grammatical correctness. Additionally, practicing punctuation rules, such as the correct use of commas in compound sentences, will help in creating clearer, more readable sentences. Consider using grammar-checking tools or seeking feedback from peers to identify and correct errors.

By addressing these areas, the essay can achieve a higher band score in Grammatical Range and Accuracy.

Bài sửa mẫu

Whether pupils should provide feedback to their instructors to enhance educational quality has sparked considerable debate. This author believes that it is advisable not to offer comments, as it may lead to a more disciplined classroom environment, and teachers can be affected emotionally rather than seeing an improvement in educational quality.

It is vital to acknowledge that when students are permitted to provide feedback to their teachers, the instructors may become more cautious in their teaching methods. This can lead to issues with misbehaving students. Additionally, the lessons may be impacted as teachers struggle to manage their learners effectively. In many countries, there are numerous teachers who teach exceptionally well, yet their students do not achieve high grades. This is often because these teachers are concerned about disciplining students, fearing that it could adversely affect their careers.

However, some individuals argue that leaving feedback or even criticism can help improve educational quality. This belief is based on the idea that not all students can adapt to the teaching methods of their instructors; some may find the pace too fast or too slow for their understanding. While this may be true, some lenient teachers may struggle to address the behavior of disruptive students.

This writer contends that many students who do not wish to study can disturb the lessons. Moreover, they can intimidate their teachers with negative comments, potentially forcing them to become unemployed. This can lead to several consequences, and the worst consequence could be the teacher’s death. Thus, high school students should not be encouraged to provide feedback or criticism on their teachers.

To sum up, feedback is a double-edged sword; while comments can enhance the quality of education, they can also lead to severe repercussions. This essay has demonstrated how leaving feedback on teachers can impact the classroom environment.