Many people argue that in order to improve educational quality, high school students should be encouraged to make comments or even criticism on their teachers. Others think it will lead to loss of respect and discipline in the classroom. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

There is a contentious debate regarding whether high school pupils should be encouraged to criticize their teachers to improve academic quality as some argue that this will make classroom atmosphere become less earnest. This author agrees and maintains that viewport due to the improvement in teaching methods and enhanced relationship from students' remarks, rather than worsening their perspectives about learning.

It is essential to acknowledge that by considering the comments from scholars, teachers can monitor their lessons to be more accessible. This is because the learners are partaking in the classroom performance, so they can actively deed any mistakes of problems to help contribute to better teaching methods. Consequently, high school students can obtain knowledge more effectively, resulting in higher grades in exams.

In contrast, some contend that felling pupils freely leave comment on their teachers will make them more rebellious. This belief is based on some students may take this as an opportunity to get revenge on teachers they don't like. They are right to a certain extant, but with continuous forbid will only deteriorate their honor towards the educational field even more as pupils may feel their opinions are not respected.

From this author's experience, students will become more obeying if they are able to confess their remarks. Due to the fact then they may fiel more sympathy from their teachers, they will feel more comfortable in learning. As a result, the relationship between learners and their providers, leading to students taking their teachers more seriously.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"There is a contentious debate" -> "There exists a contentious debate"
Explanation: Adding "exists" provides a more formal and precise expression, aligning better with academic style by emphasizing the ongoing nature of the debate.
"pupils should be encouraged to criticize" -> "students should be encouraged to provide constructive feedback"
Explanation: Replacing "pupils" with "students" is more commonly used in formal academic contexts. "Provide constructive feedback" is a more precise and formal way to describe the intended action, emphasizing the quality of the criticism.
"make classroom atmosphere become less earnest" -> "deteriorate the academic environment"
Explanation: "Deteriorate" is a more precise and formal term than "make become less earnest," which is vague and informal. "Academic environment" is a more specific term than "classroom atmosphere."
"viewport" -> "viewpoint"
Explanation: "Viewpoint" is the correct term, referring to a perspective or opinion, whereas "viewport" is unrelated to the context.
"enhanced relationship from students’ remarks" -> "improved relationships resulting from student feedback"
Explanation: "Improved relationships resulting from student feedback" is more specific and formal, clearly indicating the cause-and-effect relationship between student input and teacher-student relationships.
"monitor their lessons to be more accessible" -> "adjust their teaching methods to enhance accessibility"
Explanation: "Adjust their teaching methods to enhance accessibility" is more specific and academically appropriate, focusing on the actions taken by teachers to improve lesson quality.
"learners are partaking in the classroom performance" -> "students actively participate in classroom activities"
Explanation: "Partake" is less commonly used in formal writing, and "participate" is more straightforward and appropriate. "Classroom activities" is a clearer term than "classroom performance."
"felling pupils freely leave comment on their teachers" -> "students freely comment on their teachers"
Explanation: "Felling" is a typo and should be "feel." Also, "leave comment" is redundant; "comment" alone is sufficient.
"will make them more rebellious" -> "may lead to increased defiance"
Explanation: "May lead to increased defiance" is a more formal and precise way to describe the potential outcome, avoiding the colloquial tone of "more rebellious."
"some contend that felling pupils freely leave comment on their teachers" -> "some argue that allowing students to freely comment on their teachers"
Explanation: Corrects the typo "felling" to "allowing" and uses "students" instead of "pupils" for consistency and formality.
"then they may fiel more sympathy from their teachers" -> "they may receive more sympathy from their teachers"
Explanation: "Fiel" is a typo and should be "receive." This correction clarifies the intended meaning and maintains formal tone.
"more obeying" -> "more compliant"
Explanation: "Compliant" is a more precise and formal term than "obeying," which is somewhat informal and less specific in this context.
"Due to the fact then they may fiel more sympathy" -> "As a result, they may receive more sympathy"
Explanation: Corrects the typo "fiel" to "receive" and rephrases for clarity and formality, improving the flow of the sentence.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to address both views regarding whether high school students should be encouraged to criticize their teachers. However, it does not fully explore the second viewpoint, which is the potential loss of respect and discipline in the classroom. The discussion on this point is somewhat superficial and lacks depth, as it only briefly mentions the idea of students seeking revenge on teachers they dislike without elaborating on the broader implications of this behavior. Additionally, the essay does not clearly state the author’s opinion until the conclusion, which may leave readers uncertain about the overall stance.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the author should ensure that both perspectives are explored in greater detail. This could involve providing specific examples or scenarios that illustrate the potential consequences of encouraging criticism, such as classroom dynamics or teacher-student relationships. Furthermore, the author should clearly state their opinion earlier in the essay to guide the reader’s understanding.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: While the author expresses agreement with the idea of encouraging student feedback, the position is not consistently clear throughout the essay. The initial statement suggests a balanced approach, but the supporting arguments seem to lean more towards the benefits of criticism without adequately addressing the concerns about respect and discipline. This inconsistency can confuse readers about the author’s true stance.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear position, the author should explicitly state their opinion in the introduction and reinforce it throughout the essay. This could be achieved by using transitional phrases that connect back to the main argument and by summarizing the stance at the end of each paragraph.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents some ideas, such as the benefits of student feedback for improving teaching methods and fostering better relationships. However, these ideas are not fully developed or supported with concrete examples or evidence. For instance, the claim that students will perform better academically due to teacher adjustments lacks specific details or data to substantiate it. Additionally, the counterargument regarding rebellion is only briefly mentioned and not thoroughly examined.
- How to improve: To strengthen the essay, the author should provide more detailed explanations and examples to support their claims. This could include citing studies or real-life scenarios where student feedback has led to positive changes in teaching practices. Furthermore, addressing counterarguments with evidence will make the discussion more balanced and persuasive.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, discussing the implications of student criticism of teachers. However, there are moments where the focus shifts, particularly in the discussion of students feeling sympathy from teachers, which feels somewhat tangential to the main argument. The phrase "fiel more sympathy" is vague and does not clearly connect to the topic of criticism and respect.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the author should ensure that all points made directly relate to the central question of whether student criticism is beneficial or detrimental. Avoiding vague language and ensuring that each point ties back to the main argument will help keep the essay on track.

Overall, the essay demonstrates an understanding of the topic but requires more depth, clarity, and support to achieve a higher band score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing both views, and a conclusion. However, the logical flow could be improved. For instance, the transition from the first body paragraph discussing the benefits of student feedback to the second paragraph addressing the potential drawbacks lacks a smooth connection. The phrase "In contrast" is used, but it could be more effectively linked to the previous argument to enhance coherence.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using transitional phrases that not only indicate contrast but also summarize the previous point. For example, after discussing the benefits of feedback, a sentence like "While this approach has its merits, it also raises concerns about student behavior" could provide a clearer connection between the two perspectives.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which is a strength. Each paragraph focuses on a distinct aspect of the argument. However, the internal structure of some paragraphs could be more refined. For instance, the first body paragraph introduces the idea of teacher improvement but could benefit from clearer topic sentences and supporting details that directly relate to the main argument.
- How to improve: Ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that outlines the main idea. Additionally, follow up with supporting sentences that provide examples or explanations. For example, in the first body paragraph, a topic sentence like "Student feedback can lead to significant improvements in teaching methods" would clarify the focus of the paragraph.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "consequently" and "in contrast," which help to connect ideas. However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and some phrases are used incorrectly or awkwardly (e.g., "felling pupils freely leave comment"). This can disrupt the flow and clarity of the argument.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a variety of linking words and phrases, such as "moreover," "however," "for instance," and "on the other hand." Additionally, ensure that cohesive devices are used correctly in context. For example, instead of "felling pupils freely leave comment," it could be revised to "allowing students to freely express their comments."

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents coherent arguments, enhancing the logical flow, refining paragraph structure, and diversifying cohesive devices will elevate the coherence and cohesion to a higher level.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms like "contentious debate," "academic quality," and "rebellious." However, there are instances where the vocabulary is either repetitive or lacks variety, such as the repeated use of "teachers" and "students." Additionally, phrases like "classroom atmosphere become less earnest" could be expressed more effectively with synonyms or alternative constructions.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the author should incorporate synonyms and related terms. For example, instead of repeating "teachers," they could use "educators," "instructors," or "facilitators." Exploring phrases like "learning environment" instead of "classroom atmosphere" would also add variety.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: There are several instances of imprecise vocabulary usage. For example, "viewport" is an incorrect term in this context; the author likely intended to use "viewpoint." The phrase "felling pupils freely leave comment" is awkward and unclear; "allowing students to freely comment" would be more precise. Additionally, "continuous forbid" is not a standard expression and could confuse readers.
- How to improve: The author should focus on using vocabulary that accurately conveys their intended meaning. A review of context-appropriate terms and phrases is essential. Utilizing a thesaurus can help find more precise words, but it’s important to ensure that the chosen terms fit well within the context of the sentence.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors that detract from its overall quality. Words like "deed" (should be "identify"), "felling" (should be "allowing"), "extant" (should be "extent"), and "fiel" (should be "feel") indicate a lack of attention to detail. These errors can confuse readers and undermine the credibility of the argument.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the author should implement a proofreading strategy. Reading the essay aloud can help catch errors, as can using spell-check tools. Additionally, practicing spelling through writing exercises or flashcards can reinforce correct spelling of commonly used words.

By addressing these areas, the author can significantly enhance their lexical resource, potentially raising their band score in this criterion.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some variety in sentence structures, such as the use of complex sentences ("This belief is based on some students may take this as an opportunity to get revenge on teachers they don’t like"). However, there are instances of awkward phrasing and unclear structures that detract from clarity. For example, the phrase "the learners are partaking in the classroom performance" is somewhat convoluted and could be simplified. Additionally, the use of phrases like "viewport due to the improvement in teaching methods" lacks clarity and coherence.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety and effectiveness of sentence structures, consider incorporating more compound and complex sentences that clearly convey relationships between ideas. For instance, instead of saying "students will become more obeying if they are able to confess their remarks," you could say, "If students are encouraged to express their opinions, they may feel more respected and, as a result, become more compliant." Practicing sentence combining exercises can also help in creating more fluid and varied sentence structures.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that hinder readability. For example, "felling pupils freely leave comment" should be "allowing pupils to freely leave comments," and "to help contribute to better teaching methods" is redundant. Additionally, there are punctuation errors, such as missing commas that could clarify meaning, particularly in complex sentences. The phrase "with continuous forbid will only deteriorate their honor" is grammatically incorrect and lacks clarity.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, it is essential to review basic grammar rules, particularly subject-verb agreement and verb forms. For instance, "forbid" should be "forbidding" to match the context. Regularly practicing grammar exercises and seeking feedback on written work can help identify and correct recurring errors. Furthermore, paying attention to punctuation, especially in complex sentences, can enhance clarity. Reading essays aloud can also help identify awkward phrasing and punctuation issues.

By focusing on these areas for improvement, the essay can achieve greater clarity and coherence, ultimately leading to a higher band score in Grammatical Range and Accuracy.

Bài sửa mẫu

There exists a contentious debate regarding whether high school students should be encouraged to provide constructive feedback or even criticism of their teachers to improve educational quality. Some argue that this may lead to a loss of respect and discipline in the classroom. This author agrees with the viewpoint that, despite potential drawbacks, the benefits of improved teaching methods and enhanced relationships resulting from student feedback outweigh the negatives.

It is essential to acknowledge that by considering the comments from students, teachers can adjust their teaching methods to enhance accessibility. Since learners actively participate in classroom activities, they can identify any mistakes or problems, contributing to better teaching practices. Consequently, high school students can acquire knowledge more effectively, resulting in higher grades in exams.

In contrast, some contend that allowing students to freely comment on their teachers may lead to increased defiance. This belief is based on the idea that some students might seize this opportunity to retaliate against teachers they dislike. While there is some truth to this concern, continuous suppression of student feedback may only deteriorate the academic environment, as students could feel their opinions are not valued.

From this author’s experience, students tend to be more compliant when they are allowed to express their thoughts. As a result, they may receive more sympathy from their teachers, which fosters a more comfortable learning atmosphere. This improved relationship between learners and their educators leads to students taking their teachers more seriously.

In conclusion, while there are valid concerns about the potential for disrespect in the classroom, encouraging high school students to provide constructive feedback can ultimately enhance the educational experience. By fostering an environment where students feel heard, we can improve both teaching methods and student engagement.