Many people around the world use social media everyday to keep in touch with other people and get news event. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

With the prevalence of social media, the way people communicate and get news has been transformed remarkably. While this change has some negative impacts, I suppose that it is more likely to bring about positive consequences.
The potential pitfalls of social media merit consideration. Primary, people could potentially get exposed to misinformation on social networking sites due to their loosely regulated nature. During the COVID-19 pandemic, there were numerous false claims circulated online, which led to people’s fear and confusion. This issue, however, is later tackled by the improved algorithms to detect and flag fake news. Moreover, online communication may bring negative impacts on people’s writing and speaking styles. Opponents of social media argue that the habit of using abbreviated words in academic essays may be attributed to students’ online communication style which mainly involves icons and abbreviations.
However, there is a myriad of advantages brought about by social networking sites. It is undeniable that the development of social media has revolutionized the way people keep in touch with others. By using social networking sites such as Zalo or Facebook, people can stay in touch with their families and reconnect with their old friends regardless of geographical barriers. Furthermore, it also facilitates building relationships based on shared interests. Joining communities of interest on Facebook or Linkedlin allows people to connect with experts whom they can learn and ask for advice from. Another benefit of social media is the fast coverage of news. With social networking sites like Facebook or Twitter, people can keep abreast of current affairs and act accordingly, which proves to be useful in emergencies. Taking 2020 Central Vietnam flood as an example, during this period, people constantly got news updates about the flood in their areas, which helped individuals and governments have suitable responses to the situation.
In conclusion, while social media might come with the associated downside of misinformation and inappropriate writing and speaking style, the global connectivity and the rapid information dissemination seem to be compelling advantageous.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"With the prevalence of social media" -> "Given the widespread use of social media"
Explanation: "Given the widespread use of" is a more formal and precise way to introduce the context of social media, enhancing the academic tone of the essay.
"I suppose that" -> "It is likely that"
Explanation: "It is likely that" is a more assertive and academically appropriate phrase than "I suppose that," which sounds too informal and speculative for academic writing.
"Primary" -> "Primarily"
Explanation: "Primarily" is the correct adverbial form needed here to indicate the main point, whereas "primary" is an adjective and would be incorrect in this context.
"people could potentially get exposed" -> "individuals may be exposed"
Explanation: "Individuals may be exposed" is more formal and precise, avoiding the colloquial tone of "people could potentially get exposed."
"loosely regulated nature" -> "relatively unregulated nature"
Explanation: "Relatively unregulated" is a more precise and formal way to describe the nature of social media, avoiding the vague and informal "loosely regulated."
"This issue, however, is later tackled" -> "This issue has been addressed"
Explanation: "Has been addressed" is a more direct and formal way to describe the resolution of the issue, avoiding the temporal ambiguity of "is later tackled."
"online communication may bring negative impacts" -> "online communication may have negative impacts"
Explanation: "May have" is grammatically correct and more formal than "may bring," which is less commonly used in academic writing.
"the habit of using abbreviated words" -> "the practice of using abbreviations"
Explanation: "The practice of using abbreviations" is more specific and formal, improving the academic tone of the sentence.
"mainly involves icons and abbreviations" -> "primarily employs abbreviations and icons"
Explanation: "Employes" is a more formal verb choice than "involves," and "primarily" is more precise than "mainly" in an academic context.
"It is undeniable that" -> "It is evident that"
Explanation: "It is evident that" is a more formal and academically appropriate phrase than "It is undeniable that," which can sound overly assertive.
"Joining communities of interest on Facebook or Linkedlin" -> "Joining communities of interest on Facebook or LinkedIn"
Explanation: Correcting the spelling error in "Linkedlin" to "LinkedIn" maintains professionalism and accuracy.
"people can keep abreast of current affairs" -> "individuals can remain informed about current events"
Explanation: "Remain informed about current events" is a more formal and precise way to express the idea of staying up-to-date with news.
"Taking 2020 Central Vietnam flood as an example" -> "The 2020 Central Vietnam flood serves as an example"
Explanation: "The 2020 Central Vietnam flood serves as an example" is more formal and grammatically correct, improving the flow and clarity of the sentence.
"people constantly got news updates" -> "individuals continually received news updates"
Explanation: "Continually received" is more formal and precise than "constantly got," aligning better with academic style.
"compelling advantageous" -> "significant advantages"
Explanation: "Significant advantages" is a more precise and formal way to conclude the essay, avoiding the awkward and less formal "compelling advantageous."

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of social media, as required by the prompt. The introduction clearly states the author’s position that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. The discussion of disadvantages includes the issue of misinformation and its impact during the COVID-19 pandemic, as well as concerns about deteriorating writing skills. On the advantages side, the essay highlights global connectivity and the rapid dissemination of news, providing relevant examples such as staying in touch with family and the timely updates during the Central Vietnam flood.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the author could delve deeper into the disadvantages by providing more examples or statistics to illustrate the impact of misinformation. Additionally, discussing potential solutions to mitigate these disadvantages could create a more balanced argument.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position throughout, asserting that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages. This is consistently reflected in the structure, as the author first discusses the negative aspects before transitioning to the positive ones, culminating in a strong conclusion that reiterates the main argument.
- How to improve: To further strengthen the clarity of the position, the author could use more explicit transition phrases to guide the reader through the argument. For instance, phrases like "Despite these drawbacks" could be used to signal the shift from discussing disadvantages to advantages.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a range of ideas related to both the advantages and disadvantages of social media. Each point is supported with relevant examples, such as the reference to the COVID-19 pandemic for misinformation and the Central Vietnam flood for rapid news coverage. The ideas are logically extended, showing how social media impacts communication and information dissemination.
- How to improve: The essay could benefit from more in-depth exploration of some points. For example, while the mention of writing styles is relevant, the author could provide specific examples of how these styles have changed or offer comparisons between traditional and modern communication methods. This would add depth to the argument.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic throughout, addressing the prompt directly and avoiding irrelevant tangents. Each paragraph contributes to the overall argument regarding the pros and cons of social media. The examples provided are pertinent and reinforce the main points made.
- How to improve: While the essay stays on topic, ensuring that each example directly ties back to the main argument could improve coherence. For instance, when discussing the negative impact of misinformation, the author could explicitly connect this back to the overall question of whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the task and effectively communicates the author’s viewpoint. With some minor adjustments to depth and clarity, it could achieve an even higher score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear argument structure, with an introduction that outlines the main points, followed by paragraphs that discuss both the disadvantages and advantages of social media. The transition from discussing the negative impacts to the positive aspects is smooth, allowing the reader to follow the writer’s line of reasoning effectively. For instance, the essay begins by addressing the potential pitfalls of social media before transitioning to its benefits, which is a logical progression. However, the organization could be further enhanced by clearly delineating the sections discussing disadvantages and advantages, perhaps by using subheadings or clearer topic sentences.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph that explicitly state the main idea. Additionally, employing transitional phrases such as "On the other hand," or "Conversely," can help to signal shifts in the argument more clearly.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which aids readability. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the argument, such as the disadvantages of social media in the first paragraph and the advantages in the subsequent paragraphs. However, the second paragraph could be more effectively split into two distinct paragraphs: one focusing solely on misinformation and the other on the impact on writing and speaking styles. This would provide a clearer structure and allow for more in-depth exploration of each point.
- How to improve: Consider breaking longer paragraphs into smaller ones when discussing multiple points. Each paragraph should ideally focus on a single idea or theme, which can help maintain clarity and coherence. For instance, the second paragraph could be divided into two: one discussing misinformation and the other addressing the impact on communication styles.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good use of cohesive devices, such as "however," "moreover," and "furthermore," which effectively connect ideas within and between paragraphs. These devices help to guide the reader through the argument. However, the essay could benefit from a more varied use of cohesive devices to enhance the flow and avoid repetition. For example, the phrase "social networking sites" is used multiple times; varying the terminology could improve cohesion.
- How to improve: To diversify cohesive devices, consider using synonyms or related phrases to avoid repetition. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "social networking sites," you could alternate with terms like "online platforms" or "digital communication tools." Additionally, incorporating a wider range of cohesive devices, such as "in addition," "consequently," or "as a result," can help create a more nuanced and fluid argument.

Overall, the essay demonstrates strong coherence and cohesion, effectively communicating the writer’s viewpoint. By refining the organization of ideas, enhancing paragraph structure, and diversifying cohesive devices, the essay could achieve an even higher level of clarity and sophistication.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary relevant to the topic of social media. Phrases like "prevalence of social media," "transformed remarkably," and "myriad of advantages" showcase an ability to use varied expressions. However, there are instances of repetition, such as the use of "social networking sites" multiple times without variation, which could limit the overall lexical range.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary diversity, consider using synonyms or related terms. For example, instead of repeating "social networking sites," you could use "online platforms," "digital networks," or "social media channels." This will not only enrich the vocabulary but also keep the reader engaged.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary accurately, but there are moments where word choice could be more precise. For instance, the phrase "primary, people could potentially get exposed" could be improved; "primary" is used incorrectly here and should be "primarily." Additionally, "the habit of using abbreviated words" could be more effectively expressed as "the prevalence of abbreviations in written communication."
- How to improve: Focus on ensuring that each word fits the context perfectly. Review phrases and consider whether they convey the intended meaning clearly. For example, instead of "the habit of using abbreviated words," you might say "the trend of employing abbreviations." This precision will enhance clarity and impact.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay displays a high level of spelling accuracy, with no noticeable errors. Words like "misinformation," "abbreviated," and "geographical" are spelled correctly, reflecting a strong command of spelling conventions.
- How to improve: While spelling is accurate, it is always beneficial to maintain this standard through regular practice. Consider engaging in activities such as spelling quizzes or writing exercises that focus on commonly misspelled words. Additionally, proofreading your work can help catch any inadvertent errors before submission.

In summary, the essay demonstrates a solid command of lexical resource with room for improvement in vocabulary range and precision. By incorporating more varied expressions and ensuring precise word choices, the overall quality of the writing can be significantly enhanced. Maintaining high spelling accuracy will further contribute to the essay’s professionalism and clarity.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. For instance, complex sentences such as "While this change has some negative impacts, I suppose that it is more likely to bring about positive consequences" effectively convey nuanced ideas. Additionally, the use of conditional structures, as seen in "people could potentially get exposed to misinformation," showcases the writer’s ability to express hypothetical situations. However, there are instances of repetitive sentence beginnings, particularly with "people" and "social media," which can detract from the overall fluidity and engagement of the writing.
- How to improve: To enhance the diversity of sentence structures, the writer could incorporate more varied introductory phrases or clauses. For example, instead of starting multiple sentences with "people," the writer could use phrases like "Individuals often find that…" or "Users of social media frequently experience…" This would not only diversify sentence openings but also improve the overall rhythm of the essay.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The grammatical accuracy in the essay is quite high, with only a few minor errors. For instance, the phrase "the habit of using abbreviated words in academic essays may be attributed to students’ online communication style which mainly involves icons and abbreviations" contains a slight punctuation error; a comma should precede "which" to correctly separate the non-defining relative clause. Additionally, the use of "Primary" at the beginning of a sentence is incorrect; it should be "Primarily" to function as an adverb. Overall, the essay maintains a good level of punctuation, with appropriate use of commas and periods, but the few errors noted could affect clarity.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should pay closer attention to the use of commas, especially in complex sentences. A thorough proofreading process can help catch such errors. Additionally, practicing with grammar exercises focused on relative clauses and adverbial forms could help solidify understanding and application of these grammatical structures. Reading more complex texts can also provide insight into proper punctuation usage in various contexts.

Overall, the essay is well-structured and presents a balanced view of the topic, but attention to the diversity of sentence structures and minor grammatical details will further enhance the quality of the writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

The potential pitfalls of social media merit consideration. Primarily, people could potentially be exposed to misinformation on social networking sites due to their loosely regulated nature. During the COVID-19 pandemic, there were numerous false claims circulated online, which led to people’s fear and confusion. This issue, however, has been later tackled by improved algorithms to detect and flag fake news. Moreover, online communication may bring negative impacts on people’s writing and speaking styles. Opponents of social media argue that the habit of using abbreviated words in academic essays may be attributed to students’ online communication style, which mainly involves icons and abbreviations.

However, there is a myriad of advantages brought about by social networking sites. It is undeniable that the development of social media has revolutionized the way people keep in touch with others. By using social networking sites such as Zalo or Facebook, people can stay in touch with their families and reconnect with their old friends regardless of geographical barriers. Furthermore, it also facilitates building relationships based on shared interests. Joining communities of interest on Facebook or LinkedIn allows people to connect with experts from whom they can learn and ask for advice. Another benefit of social media is the fast coverage of news. With social networking sites like Facebook or Twitter, people can keep abreast of current affairs and act accordingly, which proves to be useful in emergencies. Taking the 2020 Central Vietnam flood as an example, during this period, people constantly received news updates about the flood in their areas, which helped individuals and governments have suitable responses to the situation.

In conclusion, while social media might come with the associated downsides of misinformation and inappropriate writing and speaking styles, the global connectivity and the rapid information dissemination seem to be compelling advantages.