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Many people believe that international tourism is a bad thing for their country. What are the reasons? Solutions to change negative attitudes?

Many people believe that international tourism is a bad thing for their country. What are the reasons? Solutions to change negative attitudes?

There is a fact that a hostile attitude towards international tourism has emerged amongst local people. The aim of this essay is to present underlying justifications behind this phenomenon and propose some practical measures to tackle this undesirable issue.
Indisputably, there are two fundamental reasons for this emerging trend. The first primary factor is environmental issues that could be attributed to a significant influx of foreign tourists. With a lack of awareness of protecting the environment, many tourists irresponsibly throw trash in public places such as beaches, streets, parks, not to mention important sites and monuments. As a consequence, it is inevitable that international travelers pose a threat to air, water and soil contamination, as well as the beauty of spectacular landscapes. Another significant cause of this negative attitude is cultural differences. To elaborate, foreign visitors may inadvertently sport swanky or revealing attires to religious sites, including pagodas, temples, museums that can be regarded as offensive behaviors to local residents.
Some measures can certainly be implemented to change the antagonistic attitude of locals towards global tourism. The first vital method is that the governments can mitigate environmental pollution associated with international tourists by imposing more stringent laws and severe punishments on individuals or organizations causing detrimental impacts on the surroundings. In this way, cleaner environments can be maintained and all residents can enjoy the architectural integrities of historical and cultural places. Another efficacious solution involves the execution of stricter regulations and instructions for foreign tourists paying a visit to sacred destinations. By virtue of this measure, tourists can adequately prepare for appropriate clothing styles and create a lasting impression on locals about the positive images of global citizens.
In conclusion, the fact that local people may perceive international travel as an adverse trend could be ascribed to environmental pollution and cultural clashes in the area. However, this issue can be remedied through the implementation of tougher laws and restrictions by the authorities and local dwellers.


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Errors and Improvements:

  1. "There is a fact that a hostile attitude towards international tourism has emerged amongst local people."
    -> "It is a fact that a hostile attitude toward international tourism has emerged among local residents."
    Explanation: Restructuring the sentence for clarity and formality, replacing "local people" with "local residents."

  2. "The aim of this essay is to present underlying justifications behind this phenomenon and propose some practical measures to tackle this undesirable issue."
    -> "This essay aims to elucidate the underlying justifications behind this phenomenon and propose practical measures to address this undesirable issue."
    Explanation: Replacing "present" with "elucidate" enhances the academic tone, and using "address" instead of "tackle" maintains formality.

  3. "Indisputably, there are two fundamental reasons for this emerging trend."
    -> "Undoubtedly, two fundamental reasons underlie this emerging trend."
    Explanation: Enhancing formality by replacing "Indisputably" with "Undoubtedly" and restructuring the sentence for conciseness.

  4. "The first primary factor is environmental issues that could be attributed to a significant influx of foreign tourists."
    -> "The primary factor is environmental issues attributed to a significant influx of foreign tourists."
    Explanation: Streamlining the sentence by removing the redundant "first" and rephrasing for conciseness.

  5. "With a lack of awareness of protecting the environment, many tourists irresponsibly throw trash in public places such as beaches, streets, parks, not to mention important sites and monuments."
    -> "Due to a lack of environmental awareness, many tourists irresponsibly litter public places, including beaches, streets, parks, not to mention significant historical sites and monuments."
    Explanation: Clarifying the sentence, using "due to" for causality, and providing a more precise list of places.

  6. "Another significant cause of this negative attitude is cultural differences."
    -> "Cultural differences constitute another significant cause of this negative attitude."
    Explanation: Enhancing formality by rephrasing for clarity and conciseness.

  7. "To elaborate, foreign visitors may inadvertently sport swanky or revealing attires to religious sites, including pagodas, temples, museums that can be regarded as offensive behaviors to local residents."
    -> "Elaborating further, foreign visitors may inadvertently wear extravagant or revealing attire to religious sites, including pagodas, temples, and museums, which can be regarded as offensive behavior by local residents."
    Explanation: Providing a more precise and organized list of religious sites and improving the choice of words for formality.

  8. "Some measures can certainly be implemented to change the antagonistic attitude of locals towards global tourism."
    -> "Certain measures can be implemented to alter the antagonistic attitude of local residents toward global tourism."
    Explanation: Using "certain" instead of "some" for formality, and replacing "locals" with "local residents."

  9. "The first vital method is that the governments can mitigate environmental pollution associated with international tourists by imposing more stringent laws and severe punishments on individuals or organizations causing detrimental impacts on the surroundings."
    -> "The first crucial method involves governments mitigating environmental pollution associated with international tourists by implementing more stringent laws and severe punishments for individuals or organizations causing detrimental impacts on the surroundings."
    Explanation: Enhancing formality, rephrasing for clarity, and using "involves" for better structure.

  10. "In this way, cleaner environments can be maintained and all residents can enjoy the architectural integrities of historical and cultural places."
    -> "This approach ensures the maintenance of cleaner environments, allowing all residents to appreciate the architectural integrity of historical and cultural sites."
    Explanation: Restructuring for clarity and formality, and using "approach" for better flow.

  11. "Another efficacious solution involves the execution of stricter regulations and instructions for foreign tourists paying a visit to sacred destinations."
    -> "Another effective solution entails the implementation of stricter regulations and guidelines for foreign tourists visiting sacred destinations."
    Explanation: Using "entails" for better flow and formality, and replacing "execution" with "implementation" for precision.

  12. "By virtue of this measure, tourists can adequately prepare for appropriate clothing styles and create a lasting impression on locals about the positive images of global citizens."
    -> "Through this measure, tourists can adequately prepare by adhering to appropriate clothing styles, creating a lasting positive impression on locals as global citizens."
    Explanation: Clarifying the sentence, using "adhering to" for precision, and improving flow and formality.

  13. "In conclusion, the fact that local people may perceive international travel as an adverse trend could be ascribed to environmental pollution and cultural clashes in the area."
    -> "In conclusion, the perception of international travel as an adverse trend among local residents can be attributed to environmental pollution and cultural clashes in the area."
    Explanation: Restructuring for clarity and conciseness, and replacing "local people" with "local residents" for formality.

  14. "However, this issue can be remedied through the implementation of tougher laws and restrictions by the authorities and local dwellers."
    -> "Nevertheless, this issue can be remedied through the implementation of more stringent laws and regulations by the authorities and local residents."
    Explanation: Using "nevertheless" for variety, replacing "tougher" with "more stringent" for precision, and using "residents" instead of "dwellers" for formality.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay adequately addresses both aspects of the prompt: reasons why some people view international tourism negatively and potential solutions to change these negative perceptions. It discusses environmental issues caused by tourists (trash disposal, environmental pollution) and cultural differences (offensive behaviors at religious sites) as reasons for the negative attitudes. Furthermore, it proposes measures to mitigate these issues, such as imposing stricter laws and regulations on environmental protection and educating tourists about appropriate behavior.
    • How to improve: While the essay covers the essential elements, enhancing the depth of analysis for each reason and solution by providing more examples or statistical data could strengthen the response further.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear stance throughout, consistently acknowledging the negative perceptions of international tourism while offering solutions to change these perceptions. The introduction and conclusion effectively frame the discussion, maintaining a consistent stance against negative attitudes toward international tourism.
    • How to improve: To enhance clarity, explicitly stating the author’s position in a thesis statement within the introduction could provide a stronger foundation for the essay.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents and supports ideas adequately. It introduces the reasons (environmental issues and cultural differences) with relevant explanations and elaborates on potential solutions (stricter laws and regulations, educating tourists) to mitigate these problems.
    • How to improve: Adding more detailed examples or real-life cases to illustrate the impact of environmental issues or cultural clashes could enrich the discussion and further support the presented ideas.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay largely stays on topic by addressing the reasons behind negative perceptions of international tourism (environmental and cultural issues) and proposing solutions to change these attitudes.
    • How to improve: To ensure a tighter focus, connecting each example or solution directly back to the prompt could prevent slight digressions and maintain a more consistent relevance.

Overall Feedback and Suggestions for Improvement:

  1. Thesis Statement: Consider including a clear thesis statement within the introduction to explicitly state the author’s position on the topic and provide a roadmap for the essay.

  2. Depth and Detail: Enhance the depth of analysis by providing more detailed examples, statistical data, or real-life cases to support the reasons and solutions presented.

  3. Connection to Prompt: Maintain a more direct connection between each argument, example, or solution with the prompt to ensure a consistently focused discussion throughout the essay.

  4. Concluding Remarks: Expand the conclusion slightly to summarize the key points presented in the essay and reiterate the proposed solutions, reinforcing the stance against negative attitudes toward international tourism.

By implementing these improvements, the essay can further strengthen its response, providing a more comprehensive and focused discussion on the reasons for negative attitudes towards international tourism and effective solutions to change these perceptions.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a generally logical organization. It begins with a clear introduction, followed by two well-structured body paragraphs addressing the identified reasons for negative attitudes towards international tourism and proposing solutions. The conclusion provides a concise summary of the main points. However, there are moments of abrupt transitions, particularly between the introduction and the first body paragraph. Additionally, the progression of ideas within paragraphs could be smoother.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider incorporating smoother transitions between introduction and body paragraphs. Ensure each paragraph follows a clear topic sentence and logically develops the presented ideas.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay utilizes paragraphs effectively to present distinct ideas. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the argument, contributing to a clear overall structure. However, some paragraphs could benefit from greater internal coherence, with stronger connections between sentences to enhance the overall flow.
    • How to improve: Strengthen the coherence within paragraphs by ensuring that each sentence contributes logically to the central idea of the paragraph. Use transitional phrases where necessary to guide the reader through the progression of ideas.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay incorporates cohesive devices, such as linking words and phrases, to connect ideas and guide the reader through the essay. However, there is room for improvement in diversifying the range of cohesive devices. The essay relies on a somewhat limited set of connectors.
    • How to improve: Expand the repertoire of cohesive devices by incorporating a variety of transitions and synonyms. This will add nuance and sophistication to the essay’s language, contributing to a more cohesive and polished piece.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a commendable level of coherence and cohesion. To elevate the score, focus on refining transitions for smoother flow, strengthening internal coherence within paragraphs, and diversifying the use of cohesive devices for a more sophisticated expression of ideas.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonably wide range of vocabulary, incorporating terms such as "underlying justifications," "influx," "irresponsibly," "spectacular landscapes," and "antagonistic attitude." However, there is room for improvement as certain ideas are expressed using repetitive language (e.g., "stricter regulations" and "more stringent laws"). Additionally, some word choices may be overly simplistic, limiting the essay’s lexical richness.
    • How to improve: To enhance the vocabulary range, consider incorporating more varied synonyms and expressions. For instance, instead of frequently using "stricter," explore alternatives like "stringent," "rigorous," or "more rigorous" to avoid redundancy. Additionally, strive for a balance between complexity and clarity, ensuring that advanced vocabulary is used appropriately to elevate the essay’s overall lexical quality.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary with precision. For example, terms like "cultural clashes" and "environmental pollution" effectively convey the intended meaning. However, there are instances of imprecise language, such as the use of "sport" in the context of clothing at religious sites, which might be better replaced with terms like "wear" or "display."
    • How to improve: Focus on using precise and contextually accurate vocabulary throughout the essay. In the case of imprecise language, substitute generic terms with more specific ones. For instance, instead of "sport swanky attire," consider using "wear ostentatious clothing" for clearer communication. This approach enhances the essay’s overall precision and reinforces the intended message.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a generally accurate level of spelling. However, there are a few instances of errors, such as "swanky" (which is correctly spelled but might be unfamiliar to some readers) and "integrities" (which should be "integrities"). These instances, while minor, affect the overall impression of the essay’s linguistic accuracy.
    • How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, consider proofreading the essay thoroughly to identify and rectify minor errors. Additionally, when using less common terms like "swanky," provide sufficient context or opt for more widely recognized synonyms to ensure clarity for a diverse audience. Regular proofreading practices will contribute to a polished and error-free final product.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a reasonably varied range of sentence structures. It employs complex sentences, compound sentences, and some use of clauses, contributing to a generally diverse composition. For instance, the essay effectively combines simple and complex structures in the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
    • How to improve: To enhance sentence variety further, consider incorporating more complex sentence structures and varying the placement of clauses within sentences. Experiment with different sentence lengths to create a more engaging and dynamic flow.
  • Use Grammar Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable level of grammatical accuracy overall. However, there are a few instances where subject-verb agreement and article usage could be refined. For example, in the sentence "There is a fact that a hostile attitude," a more accurate phrasing would be "There is a fact that hostile attitudes." Additionally, there are minor issues like "swanky or revealing attires" where the correct usage is "attire."
    • How to improve: Pay meticulous attention to subject-verb agreement, article usage, and the singular/plural forms of nouns. Review sentences for precision, ensuring that each word is used in its appropriate context. A careful proofreading pass will help eliminate these minor grammatical errors.
  • Use Correct Punctuation:

    • Detailed explanation: The punctuation in the essay is generally accurate, with correct use of commas, periods, and apostrophes. However, there are instances where the placement of commas can be refined for better clarity. For example, in the sentence "With a lack of awareness of protecting the environment, many tourists irresponsibly throw trash," consider inserting a comma after "environment" for improved readability.
    • How to improve: Focus on refining the placement of commas, ensuring they are used consistently for clarity and to avoid potential misinterpretations. Pay particular attention to introductory phrases, coordinating conjunctions, and complex sentence structures. Practice will contribute to a more polished and precise use of punctuation.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates strong language proficiency, attention to fine-tuning sentence structures, addressing minor grammatical inaccuracies, and refining punctuation usage will elevate the essay to an even higher level of precision and coherence.

Bài sửa mẫu

There is indeed a growing unfriendly stance toward international tourism among local residents. The purpose of this essay is to uncover the reasons behind this trend and propose practical solutions to address this issue.

Undoubtedly, two main reasons contribute to this emerging trend. The primary factor is environmental concerns linked to the large influx of foreign tourists. Due to a lack of environmental awareness, many tourists thoughtlessly litter public places such as beaches, streets, parks, and significant historical sites and monuments. This leads to environmental damage, impacting air, water, and soil quality, as well as the beauty of natural landscapes.

Another significant cause of this negative attitude is cultural differences. For instance, foreign visitors might unintentionally wear extravagant or revealing clothing to religious sites like pagodas, temples, and museums, which can offend local residents.

Several measures can be taken to change the antagonistic attitude of locals toward global tourism. Firstly, governments can address environmental pollution caused by international tourists by enforcing stricter laws and imposing severe punishments on individuals or organizations causing harm to the surroundings. This would ensure cleaner environments, allowing all residents to appreciate the historical and cultural sites without harm.

Additionally, implementing clearer regulations and guidelines for foreign tourists visiting sacred destinations can be effective. This allows tourists to prepare accordingly by respecting appropriate clothing styles, leaving a positive impression on locals as responsible global citizens.

In conclusion, the perception of international travel as a negative trend among local residents stems from environmental pollution and cultural clashes. Nonetheless, this issue can be resolved through the implementation of stricter laws and regulations by both authorities and local residents.

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