Many people believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Modern technology has transformed the way we communicate and connect with one another. While many believe that it has brought people closer together, others argue that it has driven us apart

Modern technology has created opportunities for connection that were previously unimaginable. First, social media allows individuals to easily communicate and share information, regardless of geographical distance. This facilitates the maintenance of relationships with friends and family, even when they live far away. Second, video calling applications make conversations more lively and intimate, helping people feel as though they are together in the same space. As a result, technology has made connecting with others more convenient than ever.

Despite its benefits, technology can also lead to isolation. First, screen-based communication may diminish the quality of relationships, as people engage in less face-to-face interaction. For example, many spend hours on social media instead of meeting friends in person. Second, reliance on technology can erode individuals’ ability to engage in deep, meaningful interactions, leading to feelings of loneliness even when they have numerous online friends. This illustrates that while technology can foster connections, it can also weaken the bonds between people.

In conclusion, modern technology presents both opportunities and challenges for human connection. While it creates new ways to relate to one another, we must remain aware of its negative impacts to avoid becoming more distant.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Modern technology has transformed the way we communicate and connect with one another." -> "Modern technology has revolutionized the manner in which we communicate and interact with each other."
Explanation: The phrase "revolutionized the manner in which" is more formal and precise than "transformed the way," and "interact with each other" is more formal than "connect with one another."
"While many believe that it has brought people closer together, others argue that it has driven us apart" -> "While some contend that it has fostered greater closeness, others argue that it has driven us apart"
Explanation: "Contend" is more formal than "believe," and "fostered greater closeness" is more precise than "brought people closer together."
"social media allows individuals to easily communicate and share information" -> "social media enables individuals to effortlessly communicate and share information"
Explanation: "Enables" is more formal than "allows," and "effortlessly" is more precise than "easily," enhancing the academic tone.
"video calling applications make conversations more lively and intimate" -> "video calling applications enhance conversations with increased liveliness and intimacy"
Explanation: "Enhance conversations with increased liveliness and intimacy" is more formal and precise than "make conversations more lively and intimate."
"helping people feel as though they are together in the same space" -> "enabling individuals to feel as if they are together in the same space"
Explanation: "Enabling" is more formal than "helping," and "as if" is more formal than "as though."
"screen-based communication may diminish the quality of relationships" -> "screen-based communication may degrade the quality of relationships"
Explanation: "Degradate" is a more precise and formal term than "diminish" in this context, emphasizing the negative impact on relationships.
"many spend hours on social media instead of meeting friends in person" -> "many devote hours to social media rather than meeting friends in person"
Explanation: "Devote" is more formal than "spend," and "rather than" is more formal than "instead of."
"reliance on technology can erode individuals’ ability to engage in deep, meaningful interactions" -> "reliance on technology can undermine individuals’ capacity for deep, meaningful interactions"
Explanation: "Undermine" is more precise and formal than "erode," and "capacity" is more formal than "ability."
"This illustrates that while technology can foster connections, it can also weaken the bonds between people" -> "This exemplifies how technology can foster connections while simultaneously weakening interpersonal bonds"
Explanation: "Exemplifies" is more formal than "illustrates," and "simultaneously" is more precise than "also."
"we must remain aware of its negative impacts to avoid becoming more distant" -> "it is essential to remain cognizant of its negative impacts to avoid increasing distance"
Explanation: "It is essential to remain cognizant" is more formal than "we must remain aware," and "increasing distance" is more precise than "becoming more distant."

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both views regarding the impact of modern technology on human connection. It acknowledges that technology can bring people closer through social media and video calls while also recognizing that it can lead to isolation and diminished quality of relationships. However, the discussion is somewhat superficial and lacks depth in exploring the complexities of both perspectives. For instance, while the essay mentions social media as a tool for connection, it does not delve into specific examples or statistics that could strengthen this point. Similarly, the argument about isolation is presented but not fully explored in terms of its implications.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should aim to provide more detailed examples and evidence for each viewpoint. This could include citing studies on social media usage or discussing specific scenarios where technology has both positively and negatively impacted relationships. Additionally, ensuring that each part of the question is equally explored will lead to a more balanced discussion.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear position in the conclusion, stating that technology has both positive and negative impacts on human connection. However, the position could be more explicitly stated in the introduction and consistently reinforced throughout the body paragraphs. The essay begins with a neutral tone, which may lead to confusion about the writer’s stance. The conclusion does summarize the dual nature of technology’s impact but lacks a definitive opinion on which side the writer ultimately supports.
- How to improve: To improve clarity of position, the writer should explicitly state their opinion in the introduction. For example, they could indicate whether they believe the benefits of technology outweigh the drawbacks or vice versa. Throughout the essay, reinforcing this stance with consistent language and references to the opinion will help maintain clarity.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas regarding the benefits and drawbacks of technology but does so in a limited manner. While the points made are relevant, they are not sufficiently extended or supported. For instance, the mention of video calling applications as a means of connection is a good start, but the essay does not explore how these applications compare to traditional face-to-face interactions or provide examples of their usage in real-life scenarios. The arguments feel somewhat generic and lack depth.
- How to improve: To strengthen the presentation and support of ideas, the writer should aim to elaborate on each point with specific examples, anecdotes, or data. For instance, discussing a particular social media platform and its impact on relationships could provide a more compelling argument. Additionally, integrating counterarguments or addressing potential criticisms of each viewpoint would enrich the discussion.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the impact of modern technology on human connection. However, there are moments where the discussion could be more focused. For example, the mention of "screen-based communication" could be tied back more explicitly to the main argument about technology’s role in fostering or hindering connection. The transitions between points could also be smoother to maintain a cohesive flow of ideas.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that each paragraph directly relates back to the central question of the essay. Using topic sentences that clearly outline the main idea of each paragraph can help guide the reader. Additionally, employing transitional phrases can help connect ideas and reinforce the relevance of each point to the overall argument.

In summary, while the essay addresses the prompt and presents relevant ideas, it requires more depth, clarity, and support to achieve a higher band score. Focusing on these areas will enhance the overall quality of the response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay is well-structured, presenting a clear argument that addresses both sides of the prompt. The introduction succinctly outlines the topic and the contrasting views. Each body paragraph effectively focuses on a specific aspect of the argument: the first paragraph discusses the positive impacts of technology on communication, while the second paragraph highlights its negative effects. This logical organization helps the reader follow the progression of ideas smoothly.
- How to improve: To enhance the logical flow, consider adding transitional phrases between the points within each paragraph. For example, using phrases like "On the other hand" or "Conversely" at the beginning of the second body paragraph would strengthen the contrast between the two views. Additionally, a brief summary sentence at the end of each paragraph could reinforce the main point before moving on to the next idea.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, with each paragraph serving a distinct purpose. The introduction sets the stage, the body paragraphs explore the two perspectives, and the conclusion summarizes the discussion. Each paragraph is focused and maintains a clear topic, which aids in readability and comprehension.
- How to improve: While the paragraphing is generally effective, consider ensuring that each body paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that encapsulates the main idea. For instance, the first body paragraph could start with a sentence like, "One of the primary benefits of modern technology is its ability to enhance communication." This would provide a clearer roadmap for the reader and reinforce the focus of the paragraph.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good use of cohesive devices, such as "first," "second," and "as a result," which help to guide the reader through the arguments. These devices effectively indicate the sequence of ideas and the relationship between them. However, the range of cohesive devices could be expanded to include more varied connectors and phrases that enhance the flow of the essay.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider variety of linking words and phrases. For example, instead of repeatedly using "first" and "second," consider alternatives like "initially," "subsequently," or "in addition." Additionally, using phrases like "this suggests that" or "therefore" can help clarify the implications of the arguments presented. This variety will not only improve the cohesion but also demonstrate a higher level of language proficiency.

Overall, the essay is coherent and cohesive, effectively addressing the prompt with a clear structure and logical flow. By implementing the suggested improvements, the writer can further enhance the clarity and sophistication of their writing.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms such as "transform," "facilitates," "intimate," and "isolation" effectively used to convey the main ideas. However, the vocabulary is somewhat repetitive, particularly in the discussion of technology’s effects on communication. For instance, the phrases "bring people closer together" and "drive us apart" are used multiple times, which can detract from the overall richness of the language.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should aim to incorporate synonyms and varied expressions. For example, instead of repeatedly using "bring together," alternatives like "unite," "connect," or "foster relationships" could be employed. Additionally, using more descriptive adjectives or adverbs could add depth to the arguments presented.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary accurately, but there are instances where word choice could be more precise. For example, the term "screen-based communication" is somewhat vague; it could be specified further by referring to "digital communication platforms" or "virtual interactions." Moreover, the phrase "diminish the quality of relationships" could be more effectively articulated as "compromise the depth of personal relationships."
- How to improve: Writers should focus on selecting words that convey their intended meaning more clearly. This can be achieved by practicing paraphrasing and using context-specific vocabulary. Engaging with a variety of texts can also help in understanding how to use words in different contexts.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay displays a good level of spelling accuracy, with no significant errors noted. Words such as "communication," "geographical," and "meaningful" are spelled correctly, which contributes positively to the overall impression of the writing.
- How to improve: To maintain and further improve spelling accuracy, the writer should continue to proofread their work carefully. Additionally, practicing commonly misspelled words and utilizing tools like spell checkers can help catch any potential errors before submission. Engaging in regular writing exercises can also reinforce correct spelling habits.

In summary, while the essay achieves a Band 6 for Lexical Resource, there are opportunities for improvement in vocabulary range, precision, and continued attention to spelling. By diversifying vocabulary, choosing words with greater specificity, and maintaining spelling accuracy, the writer can enhance their lexical resource and potentially achieve a higher band score in future essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. For instance, the use of complex sentences such as "While many believe that it has brought people closer together, others argue that it has driven us apart" effectively contrasts the two viewpoints. Additionally, the writer employs conditional structures, as seen in "While it creates new ways to relate to one another, we must remain aware of its negative impacts," which adds depth to the argument. However, there is a tendency to rely on similar sentence beginnings, particularly in the body paragraphs, which can lead to a monotonous rhythm.
- How to improve: To enhance the diversity of sentence structures, the writer could incorporate more varied introductory phrases and transition words. For example, instead of repeatedly starting sentences with "First" or "Second," alternatives like "To begin with," "Additionally," or "Conversely" could be used. This would not only improve the flow but also engage the reader more effectively.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a high level of grammatical accuracy, with only minor errors. For example, the phrase "as people engage in less face-to-face interaction" is correctly structured, and punctuation is generally well-handled, such as the use of commas to separate clauses. However, there are instances where commas could enhance clarity, such as in the sentence "This facilitates the maintenance of relationships with friends and family, even when they live far away," where the comma before "even" is not strictly necessary but could help in emphasizing the contrast.
- How to improve: To further improve grammatical accuracy and punctuation skills, the writer should focus on reviewing comma usage, particularly in complex sentences. Practicing the rules regarding dependent and independent clauses can help in determining when to use commas for clarity. Additionally, proofreading for minor errors or awkward phrasing can enhance overall accuracy. For instance, the phrase "leading to feelings of loneliness even when they have numerous online friends" could be rephrased for clarity, perhaps as "which can lead to feelings of loneliness, even among those with numerous online friends."

In summary, the essay demonstrates a strong command of grammatical range and accuracy, meriting a band score of 8. By diversifying sentence structures and refining punctuation usage, the writer can further elevate their writing quality.

Bài sửa mẫu

Modern technology has revolutionized the manner in which we communicate and interact with each other. While many believe that it has fostered greater closeness, others argue that it has driven us apart.

Modern technology has created opportunities for connection that were previously unimaginable. First, social media enables individuals to effortlessly communicate and share information, regardless of geographical distance. This facilitates the maintenance of relationships with friends and family, even when they live far away. Second, video calling applications enhance conversations with increased liveliness and intimacy, enabling individuals to feel as if they are together in the same space. As a result, technology has made connecting with others more convenient than ever.

Despite its benefits, technology can also lead to isolation. First, screen-based communication may degrade the quality of relationships, as people engage in less face-to-face interaction. For example, many devote hours to social media rather than meeting friends in person. Second, reliance on technology can undermine individuals’ capacity for deep, meaningful interactions, leading to feelings of loneliness even when they have numerous online friends. This exemplifies how technology can foster connections while simultaneously weakening interpersonal bonds.

In conclusion, modern technology presents both opportunities and challenges for human connection. While it creates new ways to relate to one another, it is essential to remain cognizant of its negative impacts to avoid increasing distance.