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Many people have a close relationship with their pets. These people treat their birds, cats, or other animals as members of their family. In your opinion, are such relationships good? Why or why not?

Many people have a close relationship with their pets. These people treat their birds, cats, or other animals as members of their family.
In your opinion, are such relationships good? Why or why not?

The relationship between humans and their pets has evolved into a deep bond, with many individuals considering their birds, cats, or other animals as cherished members of their family. While fostering a strong bond with pets may have some potential drawbacks, I believe that such relationships can be beneficial for owners at large.

Human-pet relationships can have numerous positive effects on individuals and society. Firstly, pets offer companionship and emotional support, especially for those living alone or dealing with loneliness and mental health issues. In healthcare settings/hospitals, trained therapy dogs visit patients to alleviate stress and anxiety, lift spirits, and promote emotional well-being. Secondly, taking care of a pet encourages a sense of responsibility and empathy, as individuals learn to meet their animals' needs and provide for their welfare. Furthermore, pets can promote physical fitness and social interaction, as walking dogs or participating in pet-related activities often leads to increased exercise and opportunities for socializing with other pet owners.

While human-pet relationships offer numerous benefits, there are considerations to be aware of. Firstly, the responsibility of pet ownership requires time, effort, and financial resources. Individuals must be prepared to provide proper care, including feeding, grooming, and veterinary services, throughout the pet's life. Additionally, the attachment and emotional bond formed with a pet can lead to grief and loss when the animal passes away, which can be a challenging experience for many pet owners. It is important to acknowledge these potential drawbacks and be prepared for the responsibilities and emotional aspects of pet ownership.

In conclusion, human-pet relationships can be highly beneficial, offering companionship, emotional support, and opportunities for personal growth. However, individuals must consider the responsibilities and potential emotional challenges associated with pet ownership.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "individuals considering their birds, cats, or other animals as cherished members of their family" -> "individuals regarding their birds, cats, or other animals as beloved family members"
    Explanation: Replacing "considering" with "regarding" and "cherished" with "beloved" maintains the sentiment while using more formal language.

  2. "I believe that such relationships can be beneficial for owners at large." -> "I posit that such relationships confer benefits to owners in general."
    Explanation: "I believe" is slightly informal; "I posit" offers a more formal tone. "Can be beneficial" is replaced with "confer benefits" for precision and formality.

  3. "Firstly, pets offer companionship and emotional support" -> "First, pets provide companionship and emotional support"
    Explanation: Replacing "offer" with "provide" and omitting "Firstly" for "First" streamlines the sentence and enhances its formality.

  4. "trained therapy dogs visit patients to alleviate stress and anxiety, lift spirits, and promote emotional well-being" -> "specially trained therapy dogs visit patients to alleviate stress, reduce anxiety, enhance morale, and foster emotional well-being"
    Explanation: "Trained therapy dogs" can be made more precise with "specially trained." "Lift spirits" is replaced with "enhance morale" for a more formal tone.

  5. "as walking dogs or participating in pet-related activities often leads to increased exercise and opportunities for socializing" -> "such as walking dogs or engaging in pet-related activities, frequently resulting in heightened physical activity and social opportunities"
    Explanation: Replaced "leads to" with "resulting in" for formality and "opportunities for socializing" with "social opportunities" for conciseness.

  6. "considerations to be aware of" -> "considerations to note"
    Explanation: Simplifying "to be aware of" to "note" maintains the message with a more concise and formal expression.

  7. "Firstly, the responsibility of pet ownership requires time, effort, and financial resources." -> "First, pet ownership demands time, effort, and financial commitment."
    Explanation: Replaced "responsibility of pet ownership requires" with "pet ownership demands" for conciseness and formality.

  8. "Additionally, the attachment and emotional bond formed with a pet can lead to grief and loss when the animal passes away" -> "Moreover, the emotional attachment formed with a pet can result in grief and loss upon the animal’s passing"
    Explanation: Replaced "Additionally" with "Moreover" for variety. "Attachment and emotional bond" are simplified to "emotional attachment" for clarity.

  9. "It is important to acknowledge these potential drawbacks and be prepared for the responsibilities and emotional aspects of pet ownership." -> "Recognizing these potential drawbacks is crucial, necessitating preparedness for the responsibilities and emotional facets of owning a pet."
    Explanation: Replaced "It is important to acknowledge" with "Recognizing" for brevity and changed the structure for a more formal tone.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score: 8.0

  1. Quoted text: "While fostering a strong bond with pets may have some potential drawbacks, I believe that such relationships can be beneficial for owners at large."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction establishes a clear viewpoint on the topic, acknowledging potential drawbacks while emphasizing the overall benefits of pet-human relationships. However, to enhance the introduction further, consider briefly outlining the main aspects or benefits that will be discussed in the subsequent paragraphs. This will provide a roadmap for the reader and increase the essay’s structural clarity.
    • Improved example: "While recognizing potential drawbacks, I firmly contend that the benefits derived from nurturing close bonds with pets significantly outweigh any associated disadvantages. In the forthcoming paragraphs, I will delve into the multifaceted advantages of these relationships, encompassing emotional support, companionship, and personal growth."
  2. Quoted text: "While human-pet relationships offer numerous benefits, there are considerations to be aware of."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: This sentence provides a smooth transition into discussing potential drawbacks of pet ownership. However, it might be advantageous to mention these considerations in more specific terms within the body paragraphs. For instance, when addressing responsibilities and emotional challenges, providing specific examples or anecdotes can vividly illustrate these points and strengthen the argument.
    • Improved example: "Although undeniably advantageous, human-pet relationships necessitate a conscientious acknowledgment of associated responsibilities and emotional facets. For instance, the commitment of time, resources, and the eventuality of coping with grief upon the demise of a beloved pet necessitate careful consideration by prospective pet owners."
  3. Quoted text: "It is important to acknowledge these potential drawbacks and be prepared for the responsibilities and emotional aspects of pet ownership."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: This concluding sentence effectively encapsulates the main discussion points about the drawbacks of pet ownership. To further reinforce the argument, consider emphasizing the need for informed decision-making regarding pet ownership, emphasizing that individuals should make informed choices and be prepared for the associated responsibilities.
    • Improved example: "In conclusion, while acknowledging these potential drawbacks is essential, prospective pet owners must engage in informed decision-making. Awareness and preparedness for the responsibilities and emotional aspects of pet ownership are integral for fostering a fulfilling relationship with animals."

Overall, the essay provides a clear stance and adequately discusses the benefits and drawbacks of human-pet relationships. To further enhance the argument, consider incorporating more vivid examples or personal anecdotes to illustrate the points made, thereby strengthening the persuasiveness and depth of the discussion.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score: 8.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a strong coherence and cohesion, earning it a Band 8 score. The information and ideas are logically sequenced, providing a clear progression throughout the essay. The use of cohesive devices is skillful, contributing to the overall flow of the text. The paragraphing is managed well, with appropriate divisions that enhance the organization of ideas. The essay effectively presents a central topic within each paragraph, contributing to the overall clarity of the response.

How to improve:
To further enhance coherence and cohesion, consider incorporating a stronger concluding paragraph that summarizes key points and reinforces the essay’s main ideas. Additionally, ensure consistent use of referencing and substitution throughout the essay to strengthen the logical relationship between ideas. Overall, maintaining this level of organization and coherence will contribute to achieving an even higher band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 8

Band Score: 8.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable command of vocabulary, utilizing a wide range of words fluently and flexibly. The language is sophisticated, with precise meanings conveyed throughout. Uncommon lexical items are skillfully employed, contributing to the overall richness of expression. The essay is largely free from errors, and any minor inaccuracies are more akin to slips rather than reflective of a lack of control.

How to improve: While the essay is strong, there is always room for improvement. Consider incorporating a few more advanced vocabulary choices where possible, ensuring that each word enhances the overall nuance and sophistication of the expression. Additionally, pay careful attention to word choice and collocation, striving for absolute accuracy in conveying ideas. Reviewing and refining the essay with these suggestions in mind could further elevate the lexical resource to a Band 9 level.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score: 8.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable command of grammatical structures with a wide range used throughout. The majority of sentences are error-free, and the essay exhibits flexibility in the use of complex structures. There are only very occasional errors or inappropriacies, which can be considered minor slips. The writer maintains good control of grammar and punctuation, contributing to the overall clarity of the essay.

How to improve: To further enhance the grammatical range and accuracy, consider incorporating a few more complex sentence structures. Additionally, proofread the essay to identify and rectify any remaining minor errors or inappropriacies. While the essay is strong in terms of grammar, continuous refinement can contribute to achieving an even higher score.

Bài sửa mẫu

The connection between humans and their pets has developed into a profound bond, with many individuals regarding their birds, cats, or other animals as beloved family members. I posit that such relationships confer benefits to owners in general.

Firstly, pets provide companionship and emotional support, especially for those living alone or dealing with loneliness and mental health issues. In healthcare settings, specially trained therapy dogs visit patients to alleviate stress, reduce anxiety, enhance morale, and foster emotional well-being. This positive impact extends beyond hospitals, as individuals caring for pets at home develop a sense of responsibility and empathy. Taking care of a pet involves meeting its needs and ensuring its welfare, promoting personal growth.

Moreover, engaging in activities such as walking dogs or participating in pet-related events often results in heightened physical activity and social opportunities. These interactions contribute to an active lifestyle and facilitate social connections among pet owners.

However, it’s crucial to note certain considerations. Firstly, pet ownership demands time, effort, and financial commitment. Individuals must be prepared to provide proper care throughout the pet’s life, including feeding, grooming, and veterinary services. Secondly, the emotional attachment formed with a pet can result in grief and loss upon the animal’s passing. Recognizing these potential drawbacks is crucial, necessitating preparedness for the responsibilities and emotional facets of owning a pet.

In conclusion, the relationships between humans and their pets can be highly rewarding, offering companionship, emotional support, and opportunities for personal growth. However, it is essential for individuals to be aware of the responsibilities and potential emotional challenges associated with pet ownership.

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