Many people may work from home using modern technology today. Some people think that only the workers benefit from this and not the employers. Do you agree or disagree?
It is widely argued that working at home using modern devices solely brings advantages for employees and not the employers. Personally, I wholehardtedly believe that not only workers but also bosses would benefit from this trend for various reasons.
On the one hand, it is true that staff members will be the first people who enjoy the merits of leveraging latest technology. Firstly, meetings schedule can be arranged at any time and anywhere, making it straightforward for workers to join and discuss. In lieu of traditional meetings happened at workplace, now it can be doned through online platforms at their free and favourable time, making it possible for them to prioritize for other relationships and social activities outside the office buildings. Therefore, it could create a natural and comfortable ambiance, resulting in the increment in the working productivity and creativeness. Secondly, employees who engage in remote work utilizing modern technology would enhance their IT skills effectively. This is because they are likely to spend time on exploring and learning some IT skills, which becomes an inseparable part of current labour market, enabling them to promote their career prospects in the near future.
On the other hand, employers also benefit from this trend. Firstly, there is no need to pay cost for renting office building or facal as works could be done via online media, which means that bosses could save a large amount of money for other needs. For instance, electronic commerce is a phrase standing for business done though online platforms, becoming one of the most prevalent professionals in the day and age. This work enables people to work at home or far from workplace using their electronic devices to run business or sell online products easily. Secondly, bosses may experience lower turnover rate when offering remote work. One of the main reasons is that workers have fewer reasons to look for a new role. For instance, with an in-person job, an employee may need to resign if they need to relocate for their spouse's job. With remote work, this same employee can keep their job since they can work from anywhere. Companies may also experience lower turnover rates due to having flexible schedules and high job satisfaction among employees.
In conclusion, besides staff members, I think that this trend could create many potential metits for employers to boost their employees’ productivity and working efficiency.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
"wholehardtedly" -> "wholeheartedly"
Explanation: Correcting the spelling from "wholehardtedly" to "wholeheartedly" maintains formal language and eliminates a typographical error.
"done through online platforms" -> "conducted via online platforms"
Explanation: Replacing "done through online platforms" with "conducted via online platforms" enhances formality by using a more precise and sophisticated phrase.
"increment in the working productivity" -> "increase in working productivity"
Explanation: Changing "increment in the working productivity" to "increase in working productivity" improves the formal tone and clarity of the sentence.
"creativness" -> "creativity"
Explanation: Correcting "creativness" to "creativity" addresses a spelling error, ensuring accuracy and maintaining a formal writing style.
"remote work utilizing modern technology" -> "remote work using modern technology"
Explanation: Substituting "utilizing" with "using" in "remote work utilizing modern technology" streamlines the sentence and aligns with a more formal style.
"inseparable part of current labour market" -> "integral part of the contemporary labor market"
Explanation: Replacing "inseparable part of current labour market" with "integral part of the contemporary labor market" employs more sophisticated language while maintaining clarity.
"there is no need to pay cost" -> "there is no need to incur costs"
Explanation: Changing "there is no need to pay cost" to "there is no need to incur costs" improves the formality and accuracy of the expression.
"facal" -> "facilities"
Explanation: Correcting "facal" to "facilities" eliminates a typographical error and ensures a more accurate and formal expression.
"standing for business done though online platforms" -> "referring to business conducted through online platforms"
Explanation: Substituting "standing for" with "referring to" in "standing for business done though online platforms" enhances formality and precision.
"prevalent professionals" -> "prominent professions"
Explanation: Changing "prevalent professionals" to "prominent professions" introduces a more formal and precise term, improving the overall tone of the sentence.
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7
Band Score: 7.0
Quoted text: "On the one hand, it is true that staff members will be the first people who enjoy the merits of leveraging the latest technology. Firstly, meetings schedule can be arranged at any time and anywhere, making it straightforward for workers to join and discuss."
- Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The point about flexible scheduling and easy participation in meetings due to technology is well-raised. However, it lacks depth in linking these benefits directly to increased productivity or efficiency, which weakens the argument. To enhance this, provide specific examples or scenarios where such flexible scheduling led to more efficient discussions or improved work output.
- Improved example: "Staff members benefit significantly from technology-enabled flexibility. For instance, virtual meetings scheduled at convenient times and locations allow seamless participation, fostering more focused discussions. This agility in communication not only saves commuting time but also ensures timely decision-making and active engagement, thereby amplifying overall productivity."
Quoted text: "Therefore, it could create a natural and comfortable ambiance, resulting in the increment in the working productivity and creativeness."
- Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: This statement lacks clarity and specific illustration. Instead of broadly stating the possibility of a comfortable environment boosting productivity, delve deeper into how a comfortable ambiance specifically nurtures creativity and productivity in a remote work setting. Provide a relatable example or anecdote to solidify this argument.
- Improved example: "An environment conducive to remote work, with its comfort and familiarity, can significantly amplify productivity and creativity. For instance, a serene home workspace allows individuals to focus deeply on tasks, fostering a sense of calm conducive to generating innovative ideas and solutions. Consequently, this nurturing environment elevates both individual and team productivity."
Quoted text: "bosses could save a large amount of money for other needs."
- Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: While highlighting the financial benefits for employers due to remote work, it would be beneficial to specify these ‘other needs’ that saved funds could be allocated to. Adding examples or categories where these savings could be reinvested would strengthen the argument, showcasing the broader advantages for employers.
- Improved example: "This shift not only slashes office-related expenses but also liberates funds that can be redirected towards strategic growth areas. For instance, cost savings from reduced office overheads can be channeled into employee training programs, fostering skill development and amplifying the company’s competitiveness in a rapidly evolving market."
Overall, the essay demonstrates a clear understanding of both perspectives, providing reasons and examples. However, to reach a higher band, strive for deeper insights into how these benefits tangibly impact both employees and employers, employing specific examples to substantiate the arguments further.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6
Band Score: 6.0
The essay exhibits a generally coherent structure with some clear progression in presenting ideas. There is an attempt at paragraphing, although it’s not consistently logical in its arrangement. The essay demonstrates an understanding of cohesive devices, but there are moments where their use is faulty or mechanical, leading to occasional lapses in coherence. The essay attempts to present a central topic within paragraphs but lacks consistency in execution.
The introduction introduces the essay’s stance but could have been more precise in outlining the structure. The body paragraphs contain relevant arguments and examples but lack smooth transitions between ideas and paragraphs, affecting the overall coherence. The concluding paragraph offers a concise summary of the author’s viewpoint but could have reinforced the main arguments more effectively.
How to improve:
- Structural Clarity: Work on a clearer and more consistent essay structure, ensuring that each paragraph focuses on one main idea and follows a logical sequence.
- Cohesive Devices: Use cohesive devices more judiciously and organically, ensuring they connect ideas seamlessly without sounding repetitive or forced.
- Paragraphing: Improve the logical arrangement of paragraphs to enhance the essay’s coherence and readability.
- Transitions: Pay attention to smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs to improve overall coherence and progression of ideas.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7
Band Score: 7.0
The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary, allowing some flexibility and precision. The writer uses less common lexical items with an awareness of style and collocation, contributing to a relatively sophisticated vocabulary. The essay manages to convey precise meanings and ideas throughout. However, there are occasional errors in word choice, spelling, and word formation that slightly affect the overall lexical resource.
The use of phrases like "wholeheartedly believe," "leveraging latest technology," and "increment in the working productivity" showcases a good attempt at employing a diverse vocabulary. However, there are instances of awkward phrasing, such as "it can be doned through online platforms," where "done" seems to be a typographical error. Additionally, there are minor spelling errors, like "facal" instead of "facilities," and some grammatical inaccuracies, such as "metits" instead of "merits."
Despite these issues, the writer successfully uses a variety of vocabulary to express ideas coherently and logically. The essay shows an awareness of the prompt and effectively addresses both sides of the argument.
How to improve:
To enhance the lexical resource, the writer should focus on refining word choice, ensuring accurate spelling and word formation. Proofreading the essay before submission is crucial to identify and correct minor errors. Additionally, paying attention to sentence structure and avoiding awkward phrasing will further elevate the lexical sophistication of the essay. Overall, continued practice and attention to detail will contribute to achieving a higher band score in Lexical Resource.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7
Band Score: 7.0
The essay demonstrates a good command of grammar and punctuation, with a variety of complex structures present throughout the text. The candidate effectively uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms to convey ideas. While there are some grammatical errors and instances of awkward phrasing, they do not significantly impede communication. The essay maintains overall control of grammar and punctuation, producing frequent error-free sentences. However, there are instances where clarity could be improved through more precise language and refined sentence structures.
How to improve:
- Carefully proofread the essay to identify and correct minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing.
- Aim for more precision in language use to enhance clarity and convey ideas more effectively.
- Consider a more balanced development of ideas, ensuring that each point is elaborated with equal depth and clarity.
- Work on refining sentence structures to enhance overall fluency and coherence.
Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid grasp of grammatical structures and punctuation, but attention to detail and refinement in expression could elevate it to a higher band score.
Bài sửa mẫu
There’s a widespread belief that working from home using modern technology benefits only employees and not employers. I firmly believe that this trend offers advantages for both workers and bosses for several reasons.
On one hand, it’s true that employees are the primary beneficiaries when it comes to utilizing the latest technology. Firstly, meetings can be scheduled at any time and place, making it easy for workers to participate and discuss matters. Unlike traditional workplace meetings, these can now happen online at their convenience, allowing them to prioritize relationships and social activities outside the office. Consequently, this fosters a natural and comfortable environment, leading to increased productivity and creativity. Secondly, remote work using modern technology allows employees to enhance their IT skills. They tend to invest time in exploring and learning these skills, which are integral to today’s job market, enhancing their future career prospects.
On the other hand, employers also reap benefits from this trend. Firstly, there’s no need to spend on office space or facilities since work can be conducted through online platforms, saving bosses a substantial amount of money for other purposes. For instance, electronic commerce, which involves conducting business online, has become prevalent nowadays. This enables people to work from home or anywhere using electronic devices for business operations or online sales. Secondly, offering remote work can lead to lower turnover rates for employers. Employees have fewer reasons to seek new roles, especially when they have the flexibility of remote work. This setup reduces turnover due to personal reasons like relocating for a spouse’s job. With remote work, employees can retain their jobs while working from anywhere, contributing to lower turnover rates for companies. Additionally, flexible schedules and high job satisfaction among employees contribute to this lower turnover.
In conclusion, beyond benefiting employees, this trend holds significant potential for employers to enhance their employees’ productivity and efficiency.