fbpx

Many people may work from home using modern technology today. Some people think that only workers benefit from this, not employers. Do you agree or disagree?

Many people may work from home using modern technology today. Some people think that only workers benefit from this, not employers. Do you agree or disagree?

Along with the advent of the recent cutting-edge technology, teleworking has been increasingly feasible for many people. A prominent debate revolves around the statement that such an approach is just beneficial to employees, not companies. From my perspective, I largely disagree with this assertion due to several reasons.

To begin with, as is discernible that workers could derive benefits from working at home. First and foremost, teleworking could help them save the costs of transportation. To be specific, if everyday they go to the workplace, far from their home, they would spend a great deal of money on the fossil fuel consumed when commuting. Therefore, thanks to remote working, the expense for petrol could be curtailed. Additionally, it is advantageous for workers to balance harmoniously between work and family, in which they could prepare a flexible timetable for the efficiency of work and care for their family. In other words, working remotely allows individuals to have several opportunities to take care of their children when finishing their tasks effectively.

Aside from these perks for workers, I would contend that such an efficacious method has positive implications for managers. Firstly, implementing this remotely-working shift could assist giant techs in curtailing enormous spending on the bills. To illustrate, allowing employees to work at home means that companies do not have to invest a certain amount of money on work supplies like paper and decrease the expenditure on the electricity bill and others which could be a constraint on each business. Another compelling rationale lies in the fact that the phenomenon could give them opportunities to get more profit. More specifically, as workers work at home, they could be more productive and outperform versus in the company, in which they could do anytime in condition that they finish their deadlines on time, therefore it boosts job satisfaction in each individual.

In conclusion, for these aforementioned justifications, I would be of the strong opinion that work-from-home schemes would bring merits for both executives and workforce.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

  1. "cutting-edge technology" -> "advanced technology"
    Explanation: Replacing "cutting-edge technology" with "advanced technology" maintains a formal tone while avoiding a slightly informal expression.

  2. "just beneficial" -> "exclusively advantageous"
    Explanation: Substituting "just beneficial" with "exclusively advantageous" adds a more formal and precise descriptor to convey the idea that teleworking benefits employees only.

  3. "From my perspective" -> "In my view"
    Explanation: Changing "From my perspective" to "In my view" is a more formal transition that aligns with academic writing conventions.

  4. "as is discernible that" -> "as it is evident that"
    Explanation: Replacing "as is discernible that" with "as it is evident that" enhances clarity and formality in expressing a clear observation.

  5. "First and foremost" -> "Primarily"
    Explanation: Substituting "First and foremost" with "Primarily" maintains the order of importance while employing a more formal term.

  6. "To be specific" -> "To elaborate"
    Explanation: Changing "To be specific" to "To elaborate" adds a more formal touch, inviting a detailed explanation of the point being made.

  7. "fossil fuel consumed" -> "fuel expended"
    Explanation: Replacing "fossil fuel consumed" with "fuel expended" is a more formal way of expressing the idea of fuel usage.

  8. "expense for petrol" -> "cost of fuel"
    Explanation: Substituting "expense for petrol" with "cost of fuel" provides a more formal and precise term for the financial aspect related to fuel.

  9. "harmoniously" -> "effectively"
    Explanation: Changing "harmoniously" to "effectively" maintains the idea of balance while using a more formal and concise term.

  10. "prepare a flexible timetable" -> "create a flexible schedule"
    Explanation: Substituting "prepare a flexible timetable" with "create a flexible schedule" offers a more standard and formal expression for arranging time.

  11. "positive implications" -> "beneficial effects"
    Explanation: Replacing "positive implications" with "beneficial effects" conveys a similar meaning in a more formal manner.

  12. "implementing this remotely-working shift" -> "introducing remote work practices"
    Explanation: Changing "implementing this remotely-working shift" to "introducing remote work practices" offers a more precise and formal description of the action.

  13. "giant techs" -> "large corporations"
    Explanation: Substituting "giant techs" with "large corporations" is a more formal and specific term for technology companies.

  14. "curtailing enormous spending" -> "reducing substantial expenditures"
    Explanation: Replacing "curtailing enormous spending" with "reducing substantial expenditures" maintains a formal tone and provides a more detailed description of the cost-cutting measure.

  15. "a constraint on each business" -> "an impediment to each business"
    Explanation: Changing "a constraint on each business" to "an impediment to each business" uses a more formal term to describe the impact on businesses.

  16. "compelling rationale" -> "convincing justification"
    Explanation: Substituting "compelling rationale" with "convincing justification" maintains formality while expressing a strong reason.

  17. "outperform versus in the company" -> "outperforming their counterparts in the office"
    Explanation: Changing "outperform versus in the company" to "outperforming their counterparts in the office" provides a clearer and more formal comparison.

  18. "boosts job satisfaction" -> "enhances job satisfaction"
    Explanation: Replacing "boosts job satisfaction" with "enhances job satisfaction" uses a more formal verb to convey the positive impact on job satisfaction.

  19. "for these aforementioned justifications" -> "based on the reasons mentioned above"
    Explanation: Substituting "for these aforementioned justifications" with "based on the reasons mentioned above" offers a more formal and explicit reference to the supporting reasons.

  20. "I would be of the strong opinion" -> "I strongly believe"
    Explanation: Changing "I would be of the strong opinion" to "I strongly believe" provides a more direct and assertive expression of the writer’s viewpoint.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

  1. Quoted text: "A prominent debate revolves around the statement that such an approach is just beneficial to employees, not companies. From my perspective, I largely disagree with this assertion due to several reasons."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: Your introduction effectively communicates your stance on the topic, setting the tone for the essay. However, it would be beneficial to provide a concise roadmap of the main points you intend to discuss. This would enhance the overall clarity of your essay’s structure.
    • Improved example: "A prominent debate revolves around the statement that such an approach is just beneficial to employees, not companies. From my perspective, I largely disagree with this assertion due to several reasons. In this essay, I will explore the advantages of teleworking for both employees and employers, shedding light on the mutual benefits derived from this modern work arrangement."
  2. Quoted text: "First and foremost, teleworking could help them save the costs of transportation. To be specific, if everyday they go to the workplace, far from their home, they would spend a great deal of money on the fossil fuel consumed when commuting."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: Your point about cost savings for employees is valid, but it would be more impactful with a specific example or personal experience. Consider providing a brief anecdote or a specific scenario to illustrate this cost-saving aspect.
    • Improved example: "First and foremost, teleworking could significantly alleviate the financial burden on employees by eliminating commuting costs. For instance, a professional who commutes long distances daily could save hundreds of dollars annually on fuel expenses, contributing to their overall financial well-being."
  3. Quoted text: "Aside from these perks for workers, I would contend that such an efficacious method has positive implications for managers."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: Your transition to discussing benefits for managers is smooth. However, it would strengthen your argument to provide a more direct link between the benefits for employees and the subsequent advantages for managers. Clarify how employee benefits directly translate into positive outcomes for the company.
    • Improved example: "Building on these perks for workers, it is imperative to acknowledge that such an efficacious method also has direct and positive implications for managers. As employees experience increased job satisfaction and efficiency, companies can expect improved productivity, contributing to overall organizational success."

Overall, your essay effectively addresses the prompt, but refining the introduction and strengthening the connection between employee and employer benefits would enhance the overall coherence and persuasiveness.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a good level of coherence and cohesion. There is a clear overall progression of ideas with logical organization throughout the essay. The introduction sets the stage effectively, outlining the topic and the writer’s stance. Each paragraph focuses on a specific point and maintains coherence within itself, contributing to the overall argument. Transitional phrases like "To begin with," "Additionally," and "Aside from these perks" aid in guiding the reader through different ideas, ensuring logical connections between them.

The essay uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately, such as linking words and phrases ("To illustrate," "In conclusion") and pronouns ("they," "such an efficacious method"), contributing to the flow of ideas. However, there are instances of overly complex sentences and awkward phrasing that slightly affect the coherence.

Paragraphing is generally well-managed; each paragraph centers on a clear central topic. However, some sentences could be better structured for smoother readability and to enhance the overall cohesion.

How to improve:

  1. Simplify complex sentence structures for better readability.
  2. Ensure more precise referencing within sentences to avoid confusion.
  3. Revise and restructure sentences where clarity and coherence could be improved, focusing on smoother transitions between ideas.

Overall, this essay demonstrates a solid understanding of coherence and cohesion, with minor improvements needed to enhance its effectiveness further.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 8

Band Score: 8.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable command of vocabulary, with a wide range of words used appropriately throughout. The writer effectively conveys precise meanings and demonstrates flexibility in language use. There are occasional inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, but these do not significantly impede communication. The essay employs a mix of common and less common lexical items, showcasing a good level of sophistication. Spelling and word formation are generally accurate, with only rare minor errors.

How to improve: To further enhance the Lexical Resource score, the writer should strive for greater precision in word choice and collocation. While the essay already includes uncommon lexical items, ensuring their accurate usage will contribute to a more polished expression. Additionally, attention to detail in spelling and word formation can eliminate the rare minor errors present in the essay, further elevating the overall lexical control.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a variety of complex sentence structures, showcasing a good range of grammar. There are instances of effective use of subordinate clauses and transitional phrases. The majority of sentences are error-free, contributing to a clear and coherent communication. However, there are some minor errors and awkward phrasing that prevent it from reaching the Band 8 level.

How to improve: To improve the grammatical range and accuracy, the writer should pay closer attention to sentence structure and ensure consistency in verb tense throughout the essay. Additionally, proofreading for minor errors and refining phrasing can elevate the overall fluency and precision of the language used.

Bài sửa mẫu

The advent of cutting-edge technology has made telecommuting increasingly feasible for many people. There is a prevalent debate surrounding whether this approach solely benefits employees rather than companies. In my view, I strongly disagree with this assertion due to various reasons.

Primarily, it’s evident that remote work offers advantages to employees. Firstly, telecommuting helps them cut transportation costs. Specifically, commuting to workplaces far from their homes incurs significant expenses in fossil fuel consumption. Thus, remote work significantly reduces petrol expenses. Additionally, it enables workers to strike a harmonious balance between work and family by allowing for a flexible timetable. This flexibility enhances work efficiency while enabling them to care for their families effectively.

Beyond the benefits to workers, I argue that this effective method has positive implications for employers as well. Initially, adopting remote work can assist large companies in reducing substantial expenses. For instance, allowing employees to work from home eliminates the need for investing in work supplies like paper and decreases expenditures on electricity bills and other operational costs, a significant consideration for any business. Furthermore, it presents an opportunity for increased productivity and profitability. When employees work remotely, they tend to be more productive and can surpass their performance compared to in-office work, as long as they meet their deadlines. This heightened productivity contributes to enhanced job satisfaction among employees.

In conclusion, considering these aforementioned justifications, I firmly believe that work-from-home arrangements bring benefits for both executives and the workforce.

IELTS Writify

Chấm IELTS Writing Free x GPT