Many people say that today there is a general increase in antisocial behavior and lack of respect for others. What might have caused this situation, and what can be done to improve it?

Many people say that today there is a general increase in antisocial behavior and lack of respect for others. What might have caused this situation, and what can be done to improve it?

In recent years, there has been a noticeable increase in antisocial behavior and a decline in respect for others in the 21st century. This essay will examine the main reasons behind this trend and propose some practical solutions.
One of the primary causes of this issue is the excessive consumption of trending videos and media content that often lacks positive examples of behavior. This widespread exposure to such content blurs the line between reality and fiction, leading individuals to develop skewed perceptions of how they should interact with others. This is particularly true for children and teenagers, who may not fully grasp the importance of respecting others.
Furthermore, the role of parental upbringing cannot be overlooked. The lack of discipline and guidance from parents contributes significantly to this problem. Some parents are either too negligent or excessively permissive with their children, failing to correct their misbehavior. For instance, when a child behaves inappropriately and affects someone else's belongings, some parents choose to ignore the situation and even argue in defense of their child's actions. This lack of accountability prevents the child from recognizing their mistakes and continues the cycle of disrespect towards others.
To address this issue, it is crucial for parents to take responsibility by limiting their children's screen time and providing proper education. It is essential to discern between the content available on social media, identifying what is beneficial and what is harmful to human behavior. Teaching respect for others should be a top priority for parents, and individuals themselves should strive to cultivate this essential quality in their personalities.
In conclusion, the rise in antisocial behavior and the decline in respect for others can be attributed to various factors, including media influence and inadequate parenting. To improve this situation, parents must monitor and guide their children's media consumption, ensuring they learn positive values and respect for others. Additionally, individuals should actively cultivate a respectful attitude towards others, recognizing its significance in creating a harmonious society.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

1. "There has been a noticeable increase" -> "There has been a conspicuous rise"
   Explanation: Replacing "noticeable increase" with "conspicuous rise" introduces a more formal and precise term that aligns better with academic style.

2. "antisocial behavior" -> "asocial behavior"
   Explanation: "Antisocial" typically refers to behavior that is harmful to society, while "asocial" is a more accurate term for behavior characterized by a lack of social interaction or withdrawal from social norms.

3. "decline in respect for others" -> "diminishing regard for others"
   Explanation: Using "diminishing regard for others" enhances the formality of the phrase and maintains the academic tone.

4. "This essay will examine" -> "This essay aims to investigate"
   Explanation: The phrase "aims to investigate" is a more formal and direct way to express the essay’s purpose.

5. "primary causes" -> "principal factors"
   Explanation: "Principal factors" is a more formal synonym for "primary causes" that fits the academic context.

6. "excessive consumption" -> "prolonged exposure"
   Explanation: "Prolonged exposure" is a more precise and formal term in this context, emphasizing the lasting impact of media content.

7. "blurs the line between reality and fiction" -> "erodes the distinction between reality and fiction"
   Explanation: "Erodes the distinction" is a more academic and descriptive phrase, emphasizing the gradual loss of clarity.

8. "leading individuals to develop skewed perceptions" -> "resulting in individuals forming distorted perceptions"
   Explanation: The suggested phrase is more formal and specifies the outcome of the media exposure more explicitly.

9. "particularly true for children and teenagers" -> "especially applicable to juveniles and adolescents"
   Explanation: "Especially applicable to" is a formal alternative that maintains the academic tone.

10. "fully grasp the importance" -> "completely comprehend the significance"
    Explanation: Replacing "fully grasp" with "completely comprehend" adds a more formal and precise touch.

11. "Furthermore, the role of parental upbringing cannot be overlooked." -> "Moreover, the influence of parental upbringing is paramount."
    Explanation: The suggested phrase enhances the formality and clarity of the statement.

12. "excessively permissive" -> "unduly lenient"
    Explanation: "Unduly lenient" is a more formal way to express excessive permissiveness.

13. "fails to correct their misbehavior" -> "neglects to rectify their misconduct"
    Explanation: "Rectify their misconduct" is a more formal and precise term.

14. "argue in defense of their child’s actions" -> "justify their child’s actions"
    Explanation: "Justify" is a more formal synonym for "argue in defense of" in this context.

15. "lack of accountability" -> "absence of responsibility"
    Explanation: "Absence of responsibility" is a more formal and precise phrase.

16. "strive to cultivate this essential quality in their personalities" -> "endeavor to instill this fundamental trait in their character"
    Explanation: The suggested phrase uses more formal vocabulary to express the idea.

17. "can be attributed to various factors" -> "can be ascribed to a multitude of factors"
    Explanation: "Can be ascribed to" is a formal alternative that maintains academic style.

18. "media influence" -> "media’s impact"
    Explanation: "Media’s impact" is a more concise and formal term for the context.

19. "individuals should actively cultivate" -> "individuals should actively nurture"
    Explanation: "Nurture" is a more formal synonym for "cultivate" in this context.

20. "creating a harmonious society" -> "fostering societal harmony"
    Explanation: "Fostering societal harmony" is a more formal and precise phrase.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

1. Quoted text: "One of the primary causes of this issue is the excessive consumption of trending videos and media content that often lacks positive examples of behavior."

   • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: This sentence presents a valid point about the influence of media content on antisocial behavior. However, it lacks specificity and depth. To improve, provide examples or specific instances of problematic media content. For instance, you could mention how violent video games or disrespectful online trends contribute to antisocial behavior, which would make your argument more persuasive.
   • Improved example: "One of the primary causes of this issue is the excessive consumption of trending videos and media content, such as violent video games and disrespectful online trends, which often lack positive examples of behavior."

2. Quoted text: "This widespread exposure to such content blurs the line between reality and fiction, leading individuals to develop skewed perceptions of how they should interact with others."

   • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While you touch upon the issue of blurred lines between reality and fiction, you could delve deeper into this concept. Explain how exposure to unrealistic portrayals of social interactions can distort individuals’ expectations and behaviors. Provide a concrete example to illustrate this point.
   • Improved example: "This widespread exposure to unrealistic content blurs the line between reality and fiction, leading individuals to develop skewed perceptions of how they should interact with others. For example, constant exposure to movies portraying extreme violence as acceptable can desensitize individuals to real-world consequences."

3. Quoted text: "Furthermore, the role of parental upbringing cannot be overlooked."

   • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: This statement is clear and relevant. However, you could strengthen your argument by briefly mentioning the importance of parental guidance and its connection to the issue of antisocial behavior. For instance, you could emphasize how parents play a crucial role in teaching their children empathy and respect for others.
   • Improved example: "Furthermore, the role of parental upbringing cannot be overlooked, as parents are the primary influencers in teaching their children empathy and respect for others."

Overall, your essay addresses the task reasonably well, presenting relevant points and ideas. However, to achieve a higher band score, consider providing more specific examples and elaborating on your points further to support your argument effectively.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a good level of coherence and cohesion, earning a Band 7 score. It logically organizes information and ideas with a clear progression throughout the essay. The essay effectively uses a range of cohesive devices, such as transition words and phrases, to connect sentences and paragraphs. There is a clear central topic within each paragraph, contributing to the overall coherence.

How to improve: To further improve coherence and cohesion, the essay could benefit from more varied and precise cohesive devices. While it uses them appropriately, expanding the range and sophistication of these devices could elevate the essay’s coherence to a higher band score. Additionally, ensuring that paragraphing is consistently logical and that all ideas are clearly linked to the central topic would strengthen the essay’s overall coherence and cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: This essay demonstrates a reasonably wide range of vocabulary, which is used with some flexibility and precision. It effectively conveys the main ideas and arguments. There is evidence of using less common lexical items, such as "permissive," "accountability," and "harmonious," contributing to the overall quality of the essay. The essay also displays some awareness of style and collocation, enhancing its overall lexical resource. However, there are occasional errors in word choice, spelling, and word formation, such as "misspelling" instead of "misbehavior" and "full grasp" instead of "fully grasp." These inaccuracies, while not pervasive, slightly affect the overall lexical quality.

How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource further and potentially reach a Band 8 score, the essay should aim for greater accuracy in word choice, spelling, and word formation. Careful proofreading and editing can help eliminate the minor errors and inconsistencies in vocabulary usage. Additionally, incorporating a few more advanced and contextually appropriate vocabulary choices can elevate the overall lexical sophistication of the essay.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a good command of grammatical range and accuracy, earning it a Band 7 score. It successfully employs a variety of complex sentence structures and produces frequent error-free sentences. The majority of the essay is free from grammatical errors, and there is generally good control of grammar and punctuation. However, a few minor errors and inappropriacies occur, such as the use of "the 21st century" without specifying which years are being referred to and occasional minor issues with phrasing.

How to improve:
To reach a higher band score, the essay could benefit from even greater precision in grammar and punctuation. The use of specific examples and evidence to support the claims made in the essay would further enhance its overall quality. Additionally, more clarity in certain expressions, like specifying the time frame when mentioning the 21st century, would improve the coherence and precision of the essay. Nonetheless, it effectively addresses the prompt and presents a clear argument.

Bài sửa mẫu

In recent years, there has been a noticeable increase in antisocial behavior and a decline in respect for others in the 21st century. This essay will examine the main reasons behind this trend and propose some practical solutions.

One of the primary causes of this issue is the excessive consumption of trending videos and media content that often lacks positive examples of behavior. This widespread exposure to such content blurs the line between reality and fiction, leading individuals to develop skewed perceptions of how they should interact with others. This is particularly true for children and teenagers, who may not fully grasp the importance of respecting others.

Furthermore, the role of parental upbringing cannot be overlooked. The lack of discipline and guidance from parents contributes significantly to this problem. Some parents are either too negligent or excessively permissive with their children, failing to correct their misbehavior. For instance, when a child behaves inappropriately and affects someone else’s belongings, some parents choose to ignore the situation and even argue in defense of their child’s actions. This lack of accountability prevents the child from recognizing their mistakes and continues the cycle of disrespect towards others.

To address this issue, it is crucial for parents to take responsibility by limiting their children’s screen time and providing proper education. It is essential to discern between the content available on social media, identifying what is beneficial and what is harmful to human behavior. Teaching respect for others should be a top priority for parents, and individuals themselves should strive to cultivate this essential quality in their personalities.

In conclusion, the rise in antisocial behavior and the decline in respect for others can be attributed to various factors, including media influence and inadequate parenting. To improve this situation, parents must monitor and guide their children’s media consumption, ensuring they learn positive values and respect for others. Additionally, individuals should actively cultivate a respectful attitude towards others, recognizing its significance in creating a harmonious society.