Many students find it difficult to focus at school nowadays. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve this problem?

The question of why students these days seem to struggle to focus and pay attention when studying has stimulated fervent discussions. This essay will delve into the underlying causes of this phenomenon before proposing some viable solutions to improve the situation.

Short attention time span is largely attributed to two main causes. One in particular could be the exposure to devices like smartphones, tablets and laptops during study time. There may be unwanted notifications from applications that students often stop studying to check messages. Facebook and Instagram, for instance, often provide real-time updates on friends and viral videos which make young users find it difficult to ignore during lessons. Another point worth mentioning is the poor sleeping habits and unhealthy lifestyle. Insufficient or poor-quality sleep disrupts the brain’s ability to consolidate memories and process information, leading to difficulties in focusing.Especially students nowadays, who often stay up late to watch videos and surf the internet, thereby having little time left to sleep. As a result, they tend to feel asleep during classes and find it hard to focus on the lesson. In addition, a diet lacking in essential nutrients, such as vitamins and minerals can also impair brain function and cognitive abilities, leading to short attention span.

To combat the problem of difficulty concentrating, the following steps should be taken. One solution could be for schools to impose a complete ban of technological devices in classrooms. Students’ devices from smartphones to laptops can be separately put in a box during classes to prevent the study process from being disrupted. By doing this, students can pay full attention to their study without being disturbed by notifications. Another possible solution is for parents to monitor children’s electronic device usage. By controlling their screen time, parents can ensure that their child goes to sleep early and has enough sleep before attending school which would lead to a longer attention span during lessons. Moreover, promoting healthy habits such as regular exercise and balanced diets can also have positive impacts on allowing children to have a better focus at school.

In conclusion, what seems to be at the core of short attention span is the exposure to smart devices and poor sleeping habits and unhealthy lifestyle. However, by imposing a ban from school and control from parents, people can work towards reversing this troubling trend.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"students these days" -> "contemporary students"
Explanation: "Contemporary students" is a more formal and precise term that avoids the colloquialism of "students these days," enhancing the academic tone of the essay.
"fervent discussions" -> "intensive discussions"
Explanation: "Intensive discussions" is a more formal and academically appropriate term than "fervent," which can imply emotional intensity that may not be suitable for an academic context.
"Short attention time span" -> "Shortened attention span"
Explanation: "Shortened attention span" is the correct term, as "time span" refers to a period of time, not a characteristic of attention.
"unwanted notifications" -> "inconvenient notifications"
Explanation: "Inconvenient notifications" better captures the disruption caused by these notifications, which is more specific and formal than "unwanted."
"stop studying to check messages" -> "interrupt their studies to check messages"
Explanation: "Interrupt their studies" is more precise and formal, emphasizing the disruption caused by checking messages during study time.
"find it difficult to ignore" -> "find it challenging to resist"
Explanation: "Find it challenging to resist" is a more formal expression that better conveys the struggle to avoid distractions.
"poor sleeping habits and unhealthy lifestyle" -> "poor sleep habits and unhealthy lifestyles"
Explanation: "Poor sleep habits" is the correct term, and "unhealthy lifestyles" is more specific and formal than "unhealthy lifestyle."
"tend to feel asleep" -> "tend to fall asleep"
Explanation: "Fall asleep" is the correct verb form, and it is more formal and appropriate in an academic context.
"find it hard to focus" -> "experience difficulty in focusing"
Explanation: "Experience difficulty in focusing" is a more formal and precise way to express the struggle to concentrate.
"a diet lacking in essential nutrients" -> "a diet deficient in essential nutrients"
Explanation: "Deficient" is a more precise and formal term than "lacking," which is somewhat vague and informal.
"can also impair brain function" -> "may also impair brain function"
Explanation: "May also impair" suggests possibility rather than certainty, which is more appropriate in academic writing where conclusions should be tentative.
"impose a complete ban of technological devices" -> "implement a complete ban on technological devices"
Explanation: "Implement" is more formal and appropriate than "impose" in this context, and "on" is the correct preposition to use with "ban."
"can be separately put in a box" -> "can be stored in a designated box"
Explanation: "Stored in a designated box" is more formal and precise than "put in a box," which is too casual for academic writing.
"promoting healthy habits" -> "promoting healthy habits such as"
Explanation: Adding "such as" clarifies that the habits mentioned are examples of a broader set of healthy habits, enhancing clarity and formality.

These changes aim to refine the vocabulary and style of the essay to better align with academic standards, ensuring precision, formality, and clarity.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both parts of the prompt by identifying reasons for students’ difficulties in focusing and proposing solutions. The causes discussed, such as the influence of technology and poor sleeping habits, are relevant and well-articulated. The solutions provided, including a ban on devices in classrooms and parental monitoring, directly respond to the issues raised. However, while the essay covers the main points, it could benefit from a more in-depth exploration of additional reasons or solutions, such as the role of classroom environment or teaching methods.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, consider including a wider range of causes and solutions. For example, discussing the impact of classroom distractions or the effectiveness of different teaching strategies could provide a more comprehensive view. Additionally, integrating examples or statistics could strengthen the argument.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that the difficulties students face in focusing are primarily due to technology and lifestyle choices. This position is consistent throughout the essay, as evidenced by the logical flow from identifying problems to proposing solutions. However, the conclusion could be more assertive in restating the main argument, as it somewhat dilutes the strength of the position by using phrases like "what seems to be at the core."
- How to improve: To reinforce the clarity of the position, ensure that the conclusion succinctly summarizes the key arguments and restates the main stance in a definitive manner. Using stronger language can help to emphasize the importance of the issues discussed.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas clearly, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the prompt. The causes are well-supported with examples, such as the impact of social media on attention spans and the effects of poor sleep on cognitive function. However, some ideas could be further developed; for instance, the discussion on unhealthy diets could include specific examples of how certain nutrients affect brain function.
- How to improve: To improve the development of ideas, consider elaborating on the examples provided. Including specific studies or expert opinions on the effects of technology and lifestyle choices on attention could add depth. Additionally, using transitional phrases can help to better connect ideas and enhance the overall flow of the essay.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the reasons for students’ lack of focus and potential solutions. There are no significant deviations from the main subject, and the arguments remain relevant throughout. However, the phrase "what seems to be at the core" in the conclusion introduces a slight ambiguity that could detract from the overall focus.
- How to improve: To maintain a strong focus, ensure that all statements are direct and unequivocal. Avoid phrases that introduce uncertainty or ambiguity, particularly in the conclusion. A clear and confident restatement of the main points will reinforce the essay’s relevance to the prompt.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the task requirements, with clear arguments and relevant examples. By expanding on certain ideas and ensuring a more assertive conclusion, the essay could achieve an even higher level of coherence and depth.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, beginning with an introduction that outlines the topic and the approach the writer will take. The body paragraphs are logically organized, with the first addressing the causes of students’ difficulties in focusing and the second discussing potential solutions. For instance, the transition from discussing causes like device usage to solutions such as banning devices in classrooms is smooth, indicating a coherent progression of ideas. However, some points could be more clearly linked to enhance the overall logical flow. For example, the connection between poor sleeping habits and attention span could be made more explicit.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, the writer could use clearer topic sentences that explicitly state the main idea of each paragraph. Additionally, employing transitional phrases such as "Furthermore," or "In addition to this," can help to guide the reader through the argument more effectively.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which aids readability. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the topic: the first on causes and the second on solutions. However, the second body paragraph could benefit from clearer sub-organization, as it presents multiple solutions without distinct separation, making it slightly harder to follow.
- How to improve: To improve paragraphing, the writer could break down the second body paragraph into smaller sections, each dedicated to a specific solution. This would not only enhance clarity but also allow for more detailed exploration of each solution. For example, one paragraph could focus solely on the ban of devices, while another could discuss parental control and monitoring.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices effectively, such as "for instance," "however," and "as a result," which help to connect ideas and provide examples. Nevertheless, the range of cohesive devices used is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between sentences could be strengthened. For example, the transition between discussing poor sleeping habits and the subsequent solutions could be more fluid.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, the writer should incorporate a wider variety of linking words and phrases. This could include using contrastive devices like "on the other hand," or causal devices such as "therefore" and "consequently." Additionally, employing pronouns or synonyms to refer back to previously mentioned ideas can help to create a more cohesive narrative throughout the essay.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of coherence and cohesion with a clear structure and logical flow, there are opportunities for improvement in the organization of ideas, paragraphing, and the use of cohesive devices. By implementing these suggestions, the writer can enhance the clarity and effectiveness of their argument, potentially raising their band score in this criterion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms such as "fervent discussions," "viable solutions," and "consolidate memories." However, the vocabulary tends to be somewhat repetitive, particularly in the discussion of causes and solutions. For instance, the phrases "poor sleeping habits" and "unhealthy lifestyle" are used multiple times without variation, which can detract from the overall quality of the writing.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer could incorporate synonyms or related terms. For example, instead of repeating "poor sleeping habits," alternatives like "inadequate sleep patterns" or "disrupted sleep cycles" could be used. Additionally, exploring more sophisticated vocabulary related to attention and cognitive function could elevate the essay’s lexical resource.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains instances of imprecise vocabulary usage. For example, the phrase "students often stop studying to check messages" could be more accurately expressed as "students frequently interrupt their studies to check notifications." This change clarifies the action and its impact on concentration. Furthermore, the term "short attention time span" is somewhat awkward; a more precise phrase would be "short attention span."
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on using vocabulary that accurately conveys the intended meaning. This can be achieved by reviewing sentences for clarity and considering whether the chosen words effectively communicate the ideas. Engaging with academic vocabulary lists related to education and psychology may also help in selecting more precise terms.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a good level of spelling accuracy overall, with only minor errors such as "feel asleep" instead of "fall asleep." This suggests that the writer has a solid grasp of spelling conventions, but occasional lapses do occur.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread the essay carefully, ideally reading it aloud to catch any mistakes. Utilizing spell-check tools and practicing spelling through writing exercises can also be beneficial. Additionally, familiarizing oneself with commonly misspelled words in academic writing can help prevent similar errors in the future.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a satisfactory level of lexical resource, there are opportunities for improvement in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling accuracy. By diversifying vocabulary, ensuring precise word choice, and maintaining attention to spelling, the writer can enhance the overall quality of their writing and potentially achieve a higher band score.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences and some compound sentences. For example, phrases like "One in particular could be the exposure to devices like smartphones, tablets and laptops during study time" and "Insufficient or poor-quality sleep disrupts the brain’s ability to consolidate memories and process information" show an ability to construct more intricate ideas. However, there are instances of repetitive sentence beginnings and a lack of more varied sentence types, such as conditional sentences or more sophisticated subordinate clauses.
- How to improve: To enhance the diversity of sentence structures, the writer could incorporate more conditional sentences (e.g., "If students limit their screen time, they may find it easier to concentrate") and use introductory phrases or clauses to vary sentence openings. Additionally, integrating more passive constructions or using inversion could add complexity. Practicing writing with a focus on varying sentence types will also help.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a good level of grammatical accuracy, but there are some errors that detract from clarity. For example, the phrase "students tend to feel asleep during classes" should be "students tend to fall asleep during classes." Additionally, there are minor punctuation issues, such as the lack of a comma before "which" in "a diet lacking in essential nutrients, such as vitamins and minerals can also impair brain function," which should be corrected for better readability.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on proofreading for common errors, such as verb forms and punctuation. Reading the essay aloud can help identify awkward phrases or grammatical mistakes. Additionally, reviewing rules regarding comma usage and subject-verb agreement would be beneficial. Engaging in grammar exercises that target these specific areas could also enhance overall accuracy.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid command of grammatical range and accuracy, focusing on diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical precision will help elevate the score further.

Bài sửa mẫu

A short attention span is largely attributed to two main causes. One in particular could be the exposure to devices like smartphones, tablets, and laptops during study time. There may be inconvenient notifications from applications that lead students to interrupt their studies to check messages. Facebook and Instagram, for instance, often provide real-time updates on friends and viral videos, which make young users find it challenging to resist during lessons. Another point worth mentioning is poor sleep habits and unhealthy lifestyles. Insufficient or poor-quality sleep disrupts the brain’s ability to consolidate memories and process information, leading to difficulties in focusing. Especially contemporary students, who often stay up late to watch videos and surf the internet, thereby having little time left to sleep. As a result, they tend to fall asleep during classes and find it hard to focus on the lesson. In addition, a diet deficient in essential nutrients, such as vitamins and minerals, may also impair brain function and cognitive abilities, leading to a short attention span.

To combat the problem of difficulty concentrating, the following steps should be taken. One solution could be for schools to implement a complete ban on technological devices in classrooms. Students’ devices, from smartphones to laptops, can be stored in a designated box during classes to prevent the study process from being disrupted. By doing this, students can pay full attention to their studies without being disturbed by notifications. Another possible solution is for parents to monitor their children’s electronic device usage. By controlling their screen time, parents can ensure that their child goes to sleep early and has enough rest before attending school, which would lead to a longer attention span during lessons. Moreover, promoting healthy habits such as regular exercise and balanced diets can also have positive impacts on allowing children to have better focus at school.

In conclusion, what seems to be at the core of a short attention span is the exposure to smart devices and poor sleeping habits and unhealthy lifestyles. However, by imposing a ban in schools and controlling usage at home, people can work towards reversing this troubling trend.