Many young people do not spend their holidays and weekends doing outdoor activities like hiking and climbing in natural environments. Why? How can they be encouraged to go out?
Many young people do not spend their holidays and weekends doing outdoor activities like hiking and climbing in natural environments. Why? How can they be encouraged to go out?
In this day and age, young people are seen to be passive and they less participate in outdoor activities. This is because of the modernisation of technology, which children access to everyday, keep them away from the other activities. However, this can be solve by changing in the educational system as well as their habits in daily life.
Initially, it is unreasonable to deny the advantages of technology in teenager's lives. Such as helping them to study, relax, solve some problems by using some common websites. However, due to the high-using frequency, it lead to a sedentary lifestyle. Some students overuse the technology since they find it is more interesting than their real lives. For instance, young people recently have had a tendency to access to the app called Tiktok, they are attracted to the short-video clips and started to be addicted. Therefore, many of them do not find the other activities that associated with nature are attractive anymore.
On the other hand, this circumstances can be solve if the educational system and the way they use the developed device are converted. Firstly, schools should enhance teaching students about the correct way to use technology in learning. For example, teenagers can use the contemporary devices for their research in subjects that need to do surveys, or they can use it for learning online. Secondly, parents are also play a crucial role in control the frequency of using technology of children. They should encourage their child to participate in more nature activities such as hiking and climbing by joining in with them. So that, it will not only help young people to be independent on these technology devices, but it also help them to reconnect with their relatives.
In conclusion, technology is a good tool to help young people in their lives, but it also lead to a sedentary lifestyle. Nevertheless, this detrimental circumstances can be solve by instructing them to use these devices correctly and encourage them to access to the nature more.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
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"In this day and age" -> "Currently"
Explanation: "In this day and age" is a colloquial expression. "Currently" is more formal and suitable for academic writing. -
"young people are seen to be passive and they less participate" -> "young people are perceived as being passive and participate less"
Explanation: "Are seen to be" is awkwardly phrased and "less participate" is grammatically incorrect. "Are perceived as being" and "participate less" correct these issues and enhance the formal tone. -
"which children access to everyday" -> "which children access every day"
Explanation: "Access to everyday" is grammatically incorrect. "Access every day" is the correct phrase. -
"keep them away from the other activities" -> "deter them from engaging in other activities"
Explanation: "Keep them away from the other activities" is informal and vague. "Deter them from engaging in other activities" is more precise and formal. -
"this can be solve" -> "this can be solved"
Explanation: "Solve" is a verb that requires the past participle "solved" in this context. -
"Such as helping them to study, relax, solve some problems by using some common websites." -> "Such as assisting them in their studies, relaxation, and problem-solving through common websites."
Explanation: The original phrase is informal and lacks specificity. The revised version is more formal and provides clearer examples. -
"it lead to a sedentary lifestyle" -> "it leads to a sedentary lifestyle"
Explanation: "It lead" should be "it leads" for subject-verb agreement. -
"Some students overuse the technology since they find it is more interesting than their real lives." -> "Some students overuse technology because they find it more engaging than their real lives."
Explanation: "Since" is less formal and "find it is more interesting" can be simplified to "find it more engaging" for a more academic tone. -
"young people recently have had a tendency to access to the app called Tiktok" -> "young people have recently developed a tendency to access the app TikTok"
Explanation: "Have had a tendency to access to" is awkward and incorrect. "Have recently developed a tendency to access" is grammatically correct and more formal. -
"they are attracted to the short-video clips and started to be addicted" -> "they are attracted to the short video clips and become addicted"
Explanation: "Started to be addicted" is awkward and incorrect. "Become addicted" is the correct form. -
"this circumstances can be solve" -> "these circumstances can be solved"
Explanation: "This circumstances" is grammatically incorrect. "These circumstances" is the correct form, and "can be solved" should be "can be solved" for subject-verb agreement. -
"play a crucial role in control the frequency of using technology of children" -> "play a crucial role in controlling the frequency of technology use by children"
Explanation: "Control the frequency of using technology of children" is awkward and grammatically incorrect. The revised version is clearer and more formal. -
"So that, it will not only help young people to be independent on these technology devices" -> "Thus, it will not only help young people become independent of these technological devices"
Explanation: "So that" is informal and "be independent on" is incorrect. "Thus" and "become independent of" are more formal and correct. -
"it also help them to reconnect with their relatives" -> "it also helps them to reconnect with their relatives"
Explanation: "Help" should be "helps" for subject-verb agreement. -
"this detrimental circumstances" -> "these detrimental circumstances"
Explanation: "This" is incorrect when referring to a plural noun. "These" is the correct demonstrative pronoun for plural nouns.