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Many young people regularly change their job over the years. What are the reasons for this? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Many young people regularly change their job over the years. What are the reasons for this? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In recent times, there has been a noticeable increase in the frequency with which young individuals switch jobs. This growing trend can be ascribed to various factors, and in my view, while it offers certain benefits, its drawbacks outweigh them.
One of the primary reasons for this job-hopping tendency among the youth is their eagerness to explore new experiences. Youngsters are inclined towards trying out diverse roles, aiming to challenge themselves and acquire valuable skills before committing to a specific career path. Additionally, a lack of job satisfaction plays a pivotal role. Dissatisfaction with aspects such as low salary, limited opportunities for career advancement, unfavorable working hours, and an unsatisfactory work environment propels individuals to seek their ideal workplace. For instance, global companies like Google, renowned for their attractive remuneration and positive work atmosphere, attract a significant number of young talents worldwide.
While switching jobs frequently may offer some advantages, I am of the opinion that its disadvantages overshadow the benefits. Firstly, it can pose challenges in building professional relationships, crucial for career development. The rationale behind this lies in the fact that individuals who spend too little time in a particular job may not have sufficient opportunities to establish strong connections with their colleagues. Moreover, constant job changes can adversely impact the reputation and visibility of young professionals, diminishing their appeal to potential employers. Consequently, their employability diminishes, as companies are hesitant to hire individuals with a history of frequent job changes.
In conclusion, the phenomenon of job hopping among the younger generation can be attributed to a desire for new experiences and dissatisfaction with current employment conditions. Nevertheless, I firmly believe that this trend brings about more disadvantages than advantages.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "recent times" -> "recent years"
    Explanation: Using "recent times" is slightly informal in an academic context. Replacing it with "recent years" maintains the temporal reference while sounding more formal and appropriate for academic writing.

  2. "switch jobs" -> "change jobs"
    Explanation: "Switch jobs" is acceptable but "change jobs" is a more formal phrase that aligns better with academic writing style.

  3. "drawbacks outweigh them" -> "drawbacks surpass them"
    Explanation: "Outweigh" is appropriate, but "surpass" adds a nuanced emphasis, fitting better in formal writing to indicate that the disadvantages are more significant.

  4. "Youngsters" -> "Young individuals" or "Young professionals"
    Explanation: While "youngsters" is not incorrect, using "young individuals" or "young professionals" provides a more formal tone, suitable for academic writing.

  5. "For instance" -> "For example"
    Explanation: "For instance" is more conversational; "For example" is a slightly more formal alternative and better suited for academic writing.

  6. "propels individuals" -> "drives individuals"
    Explanation: "Propels" isn’t incorrect, but "drives" is a more formal synonym in this context, enhancing the formality of the sentence.

  7. "seek their ideal workplace" -> "search for their ideal workplace"
    Explanation: "Seek" is slightly less formal; "search for" is a more appropriate and formal choice in academic writing.

  8. "offer some advantages" -> "provide certain benefits"
    Explanation: "Advantages" is acceptable, but "benefits" is slightly more formal and fits well in an academic context.

  9. "in my opinion" -> "in my view"
    Explanation: "In my opinion" is more conversational; "in my view" is a more formal and suitable phrase for academic writing.

  10. "may not have sufficient opportunities" -> "might lack ample opportunities"
    Explanation: "May not have" is acceptable, but "might lack" adds a nuanced formality, and "ample" is a more formal term for "sufficient."

  11. "constantly changing jobs" -> "frequently changing jobs"
    Explanation: "Constantly" is a bit informal; "frequently" maintains the meaning and adds a formal touch.

  12. "diminishes their appeal" -> "reduces their attractiveness"
    Explanation: "Diminishes" is fine, but "reduces" is a slightly more formal synonym. "Attractiveness" adds formality over "appeal."

  13. "their employability diminishes" -> "their job prospects decline"
    Explanation: "Employability diminishes" is understandable but "job prospects decline" offers a more formal expression, fitting better in academic writing.

  14. "as companies are hesitant" -> "since companies are reluctant"
    Explanation: "Hesitant" is somewhat informal; "reluctant" is a more formal synonym and "since" enhances formality over "as" in this context.

  15. "can be attributed to" -> "can be ascribed to"
    Explanation: "Attributed to" is suitable, but "ascribed to" is a more formal synonym and aligns better with academic writing conventions.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

  1. Quoted text: "This growing trend can be ascribed to various factors, and in my view, while it offers certain benefits, its drawbacks outweigh them."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The introduction effectively presents the writer’s view on the topic, but it lacks a clear preview of the main points that will be discussed in the essay. To enhance the clarity of the essay’s structure, consider providing a brief outline of the reasons supporting your position on the advantages and disadvantages of job-hopping.
    • Improved example: "This growing trend can be ascribed to various factors. In my view, while job-hopping offers certain benefits, such as gaining diverse experiences, the drawbacks, including challenges in building professional relationships and diminishing employability, outweigh these advantages."
  2. Quoted text: "Youngsters are inclined towards trying out diverse roles, aiming to challenge themselves and acquire valuable skills before committing to a specific career path."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The explanation of the first reason is well-developed and supported with relevant details. However, it would be beneficial to provide a specific example or personal experience to illustrate the point further, enhancing the depth of idea development.
    • Improved example: "Youngsters are inclined towards trying out diverse roles, aiming to challenge themselves and acquire valuable skills before committing to a specific career path. For instance, a friend of mine switched jobs frequently during the early stages of her career, allowing her to explore different industries and eventually find her true passion in marketing."
  3. Quoted text: "While switching jobs frequently may offer some advantages, I am of the opinion that its disadvantages overshadow the benefits."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The conclusion effectively restates the writer’s view; however, it could benefit from a concise summary of the main reasons discussed in the essay. This would reinforce the essay’s coherence and help the reader remember the key points.
    • Improved example: "While switching jobs frequently may offer some advantages, such as skill diversification, I firmly believe that its disadvantages, including challenges in building professional relationships and diminishing employability, overshadow these benefits."

Overall, the essay addresses all parts of the task and presents a clear position. However, enhancing the clarity of the essay’s structure and providing more specific examples to support key points could further strengthen the response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a logical organization of information and ideas, maintaining clear progression throughout. It effectively uses a range of cohesive devices, contributing to overall coherence. Each paragraph presents a clear central topic, enhancing the essay’s cohesion. However, there are instances of overuse and repetition of certain cohesive devices, which slightly affects the essay’s fluency and subtlety. The paragraphing is generally sufficient and appropriate, contributing to the overall coherence.

How to improve:
To enhance coherence further, consider diversifying the use of cohesive devices to avoid repetition. Ensure that each cohesive device used serves a distinct purpose, contributing to the overall flow of ideas. Additionally, pay attention to the subtlety of their application to avoid drawing attention to the usage. Strive for a more nuanced use of language to convey ideas with precision and clarity.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary, allowing for flexibility and precision. There is usage of less common lexical items, such as "ascribed," "propels," and "diminishing," showing some awareness of style and collocation. While occasional errors in word choice and word formation are present (e.g., "This growing trend can be ascribed" could be refined to "This growing trend can be attributed"), they do not significantly impede communication. The essay effectively conveys the reasons for job changes among young people and discusses both advantages and disadvantages.

How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource, consider incorporating more varied sentence structures and experimenting with a broader range of vocabulary. Additionally, be vigilant about word choice and ensure that less common lexical items are used accurately. Proofreading for minor errors in word formation can further refine the overall lexical quality of the essay.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a variety of complex sentence structures, contributing to a band 7 score. There is evident control over grammar and punctuation, with frequent error-free sentences. The writer effectively uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, showcasing a good understanding of sentence structure. While there are minor errors present, they do not significantly impede communication and can be considered as occasional slips.

How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range and accuracy, the writer should focus on further diversifying sentence structures, incorporating a higher number of complex sentences. Additionally, careful proofreading to eliminate minor errors would contribute to a smoother and more polished essay.

Bài sửa mẫu

In recent times, there has been a noticeable increase in the frequency with which young individuals switch jobs. This growing trend can be attributed to various factors, and in my view, while it offers certain benefits, its drawbacks outweigh them.

One of the primary reasons for this job-hopping tendency among the youth is their eagerness to explore new experiences. Youngsters are inclined towards trying out diverse roles, aiming to challenge themselves and acquire valuable skills before committing to a specific career path. Additionally, a lack of job satisfaction plays a pivotal role. Dissatisfaction with aspects such as low salary, limited opportunities for career advancement, unfavorable working hours, and an unsatisfactory work environment propels individuals to seek their ideal workplace. For instance, global companies like Google, renowned for their attractive remuneration and positive work atmosphere, attract a significant number of young talents worldwide.

While switching jobs frequently may offer some advantages, I am of the opinion that its disadvantages overshadow the benefits. Firstly, it can pose challenges in building professional relationships, crucial for career development. The rationale behind this lies in the fact that individuals who spend too little time in a particular job may not have sufficient opportunities to establish strong connections with their colleagues. Moreover, constant job changes can adversely impact the reputation and visibility of young professionals, diminishing their appeal to potential employers. Consequently, their employability diminishes, as companies are hesitant to hire individuals with a history of frequent job changes.

In conclusion, the phenomenon of job hopping among the younger generation can be attributed to a desire for new experiences and dissatisfaction with current employment conditions. Nevertheless, I firmly believe that this trend brings about more disadvantages than advantages.

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