marketing and promote is the key to a successful business. to what extent do you agree ?

It is true that marketing and promotion is the most important factors that lead to a successful business. In my opinion, I advocate this part of view and this essay will give further explanations.
There are two reasons why I believe marketing and promotion is crucial with every company and corporation. First, if people implement a suitable marketing plans and an advertising campaign, they can engage more customers. Customers may curious about the merchandise and they demand for buying and owning that products. This can increase sales and also make a huge profit for the company. Moreover, people should use social media for marketing and promotion, This not only can attract global customers but also can raise brand awareness with the customers.
An another reason that I agree with this opinion is by developing a marketing strategy, and an effective advertising, it can grab the attention of foreign investment. Not only can receive a large investment for the develop of the products but also can foster the growth of the company or business. Moreover, foreign investors can bring advanced technologies and specialized skills so that local workforce can learn on them. By doing this, it can enhances local expertise, making industries more successful and more innovative
In conclusion, for the reason I have mentioned above, it is true that marketing and promotion is the most crucial key that leading to a successful business.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"marketing and promotion is the most important factors" -> "marketing and promotion are the most important factors"
Explanation: The subject "marketing and promotion" is plural, so the verb "are" should be used to maintain grammatical accuracy and formality.
"In my opinion, I advocate this part of view" -> "I advocate this perspective"
Explanation: The phrase "this part of view" is awkward and unclear. "This perspective" is more direct and appropriate for academic writing.
"give further explanations" -> "provide additional explanations"
Explanation: "Provide" is more formal and precise than "give" in academic contexts, and "additional" is more specific than "further."
"marketing and promotion is crucial with every company and corporation" -> "marketing and promotion are essential for every company and corporation"
Explanation: Corrects the subject-verb agreement error and uses "essential" which is more formal and precise than "crucial."
"if people implement a suitable marketing plans and an advertising campaign" -> "if companies implement suitable marketing plans and advertising campaigns"
Explanation: "Companies" is more specific and appropriate than "people," and "campaigns" should be plural to match the generalization.
"Customers may curious about the merchandise" -> "Customers may be curious about the merchandise"
Explanation: Adds the necessary auxiliary verb "be" for grammatical correctness.
"demand for buying and owning that products" -> "demand to buy and own those products"
Explanation: "Demand to buy and own" is grammatically correct and more natural, and "those" is the correct demonstrative pronoun.
"This can increase sales and also make a huge profit for the company" -> "This can increase sales and significantly enhance the company’s profits"
Explanation: "Significantly enhance" is more precise and formal than "make a huge profit," and "the company’s profits" is more specific.
"people should use social media for marketing and promotion" -> "companies should utilize social media for marketing and promotion"
Explanation: "Companies" is more appropriate than "people" in this context, and "utilize" is more formal than "use."
"This not only can attract global customers but also can raise brand awareness with the customers" -> "This not only attracts global customers but also raises brand awareness among customers"
Explanation: "Attracts" and "raises" should be in the present tense to match the general statement, and "among" is more precise than "with."
"An another reason that I agree with this opinion is by developing a marketing strategy, and an effective advertising" -> "Another reason I agree with this perspective is by developing effective marketing strategies and advertising campaigns"
Explanation: "Another" should be capitalized, and "strategies" and "campaigns" should be plural to match the generalization. Also, "effective" should be used before "marketing strategies" and "advertising campaigns" for parallel structure.
"it can grab the attention of foreign investment" -> "it can attract foreign investment"
Explanation: "Attract" is more precise and formal than "grab the attention of," which is colloquial.
"Not only can receive a large investment for the develop of the products" -> "Not only can it receive significant investments for product development"
Explanation: "It" refers back to "developing a marketing strategy," and "significant investments" and "product development" are more formal and precise.
"can foster the growth of the company or business" -> "can foster the growth of the company and businesses"
Explanation: "And" is more appropriate than "or" to indicate inclusiveness, and "businesses" should be plural to match the generalization.
"foreign investors can bring advanced technologies and specialized skills so that local workforce can learn on them" -> "foreign investors can bring advanced technologies and specialized skills, enabling the local workforce to learn from them"
Explanation: "Enabling" is more formal and precise than "so that," and "learn from them" is grammatically correct and clearer.
"By doing this, it can enhances local expertise, making industries more successful and more innovative" -> "By doing so, it enhances local expertise, thereby making industries more successful and innovative"
Explanation: "By doing so" is more formal than "By doing this," and "thereby" is more precise than "making," which is awkwardly placed.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by stating that marketing and promotion are key to a successful business. However, it lacks a thorough exploration of the extent to which the author agrees with this statement. The response primarily focuses on the importance of marketing without considering other factors that may contribute to business success, such as product quality, customer service, or market demand. The phrase "to what extent do you agree?" suggests a need for a more nuanced discussion, which is missing here.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the essay should explicitly discuss the degree of agreement with the statement. This could involve acknowledging other factors that contribute to business success and weighing them against marketing and promotion. Including a balanced view would demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a position that marketing and promotion are crucial for business success; however, the clarity of this position is somewhat undermined by vague phrasing and grammatical errors. For instance, the phrase "I advocate this part of view" is unclear and could confuse readers. The position is stated but not consistently reinforced throughout the essay.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear position, the author should use straightforward language and clearly articulate their stance in the introduction and conclusion. Additionally, each paragraph should link back to the main argument, reinforcing the position with clear topic sentences and concluding statements.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents some ideas related to marketing and promotion, such as engaging customers and attracting foreign investment. However, these ideas are not fully developed or supported with specific examples or evidence. For instance, the discussion on social media marketing lacks concrete examples of successful campaigns or statistics that could strengthen the argument.
- How to improve: To improve the presentation and support of ideas, the author should provide specific examples, data, or case studies that illustrate the effectiveness of marketing strategies. Each point made should be expanded with explanations or real-world applications to demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on marketing and promotion. However, there are instances where the ideas could be more directly tied back to the central question of the extent of agreement. The mention of foreign investment, while relevant, could be more explicitly connected to how marketing influences this aspect.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the author should ensure that all points made are directly related to the question of how marketing and promotion contribute to business success. Each paragraph should begin with a clear topic sentence that ties back to the main argument, ensuring that all content is relevant and contributes to the overall discussion.

In summary, to improve the essay and potentially raise the band score, the author should ensure that all parts of the question are addressed, maintain a clear and consistent position, provide well-supported and extended ideas, and stay focused on the topic throughout the essay. Additionally, addressing the word count issue by expanding the content would also be beneficial.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear stance on the importance of marketing and promotion for business success. The introduction outlines the writer’s viewpoint, and the body paragraphs provide reasons supporting this view. However, the organization could be improved. For instance, the transition between the first and second reasons is somewhat abrupt, lacking a clear linking sentence that would guide the reader smoothly from one idea to the next. Additionally, the conclusion reiterates the main point but does not summarize the key arguments effectively.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, the writer should use clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to outline the main idea. Transition phrases such as "Furthermore," or "In addition," can help connect ideas between paragraphs. The conclusion should also briefly summarize the key points discussed in the body paragraphs to reinforce the argument.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs, which is a positive aspect. However, the first body paragraph could be split into two distinct paragraphs: one focusing on the benefits of marketing strategies and the other on the role of social media in promoting products. This would allow for a more focused discussion on each point. The second body paragraph also suffers from a lack of clarity due to its length and complexity, making it harder for the reader to follow the argument.
- How to improve: The writer should ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea. Each point should be developed in its own paragraph, with supporting details and examples. This not only clarifies the argument but also makes the essay easier to read. For example, separating the discussion on marketing strategies and foreign investment into two paragraphs would enhance clarity.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "Moreover" and "First," which help in linking ideas. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat limited and repetitive. For instance, "Moreover" is used multiple times, and there are few other cohesive devices to create variety in the text. Additionally, some sentences lack clear connections, which can confuse the reader.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, the writer should incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases, such as "Additionally," "Consequently," "On the other hand," and "In contrast." This will not only enhance the flow of the essay but also make the writing more engaging. Furthermore, ensuring that each sentence logically follows from the previous one will strengthen cohesion throughout the essay.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and presents relevant arguments, improvements in organization, paragraph structure, and the use of cohesive devices will enhance coherence and cohesion, potentially raising the band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary related to marketing and business concepts, such as "marketing," "promotion," "advertising campaign," and "brand awareness." However, the vocabulary is somewhat repetitive, particularly the use of "marketing" and "promotion," which could be varied to enhance the richness of the language. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "marketing and promotion," alternatives like "advertising," "publicity," or "outreach strategies" could be employed.
- How to improve: To improve, the writer should aim to incorporate synonyms and related terms to diversify the vocabulary. For example, instead of saying "marketing and promotion," the writer could use "promotional strategies" or "marketing initiatives." Additionally, exploring more specific vocabulary related to the topic, such as "customer engagement" or "market penetration," would enhance the lexical range.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains instances of imprecise vocabulary usage. For example, the phrase "customers may curious about the merchandise" should be "customers may be curious about the merchandise." The phrase "demand for buying and owning that products" is also awkward; it could be more clearly expressed as "demand for purchasing those products." Such inaccuracies can lead to confusion and detract from the overall clarity of the argument.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on grammatical accuracy and ensure that phrases are constructed correctly. Regular practice with sentence structure and grammar exercises can help. Additionally, using tools like thesauruses or vocabulary lists can aid in selecting the most appropriate words for the context.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "an another reason" (should be "another reason"), "the develop of the products" (should be "the development of the products"), and "it can enhances" (should be "it can enhance"). These errors can disrupt the flow of reading and negatively impact the overall impression of the essay.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular spelling practice, perhaps through writing exercises or using spelling apps. Additionally, proofreading the essay before submission can help catch and correct spelling mistakes. Reading more widely can also improve spelling through exposure to correctly spelled words in context.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a foundational understanding of vocabulary related to the topic, there is significant room for improvement in terms of range, precision, and spelling accuracy. By diversifying vocabulary, ensuring grammatical correctness, and enhancing spelling practices, the writer can work towards achieving a higher band score in the Lexical Resource criteria.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some variety in sentence structures, such as the use of complex sentences ("if people implement a suitable marketing plans and an advertising campaign, they can engage more customers") and simple sentences ("In my opinion, I advocate this part of view"). However, there are instances of repetitive structures, particularly in the way ideas are introduced and developed. For example, the phrase "I believe marketing and promotion is crucial" is used similarly in multiple sentences, which limits the overall range of grammatical structures.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, the writer could experiment with different ways to connect ideas, such as using relative clauses ("which can lead to increased sales") or varying the sentence openings (e.g., starting with adverbial phrases or using inversion for emphasis). Additionally, incorporating more conditional sentences and varying the use of conjunctions can help create a more dynamic flow in the writing.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from clarity. For instance, "marketing and promotion is the most important factors" should be "marketing and promotion are the most important factors" to ensure subject-verb agreement. There are also punctuation errors, such as the comma splice in "Moreover, people should use social media for marketing and promotion, This not only can attract global customers…" where a period should replace the comma. Additionally, phrases like "An another reason" should be corrected to "Another reason" for grammatical accuracy.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement and ensure that singular and plural forms are used correctly throughout the essay. Regular practice with grammar exercises, particularly those focusing on common errors, can be beneficial. For punctuation, the writer should review the rules regarding comma usage, especially in compound sentences, and practice identifying run-on sentences or comma splices. Reading more academic texts can also help reinforce proper punctuation and grammar usage.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a basic understanding of grammatical structures, there is significant room for improvement in both the range of structures used and the accuracy of grammar and punctuation. By diversifying sentence construction and focusing on grammatical correctness, the writer canenhance the overall quality of their writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

It is true that marketing and promotion are essential factors that contribute to a successful business. In my opinion, I advocate this perspective, and this essay will provide additional explanations.

There are two reasons why I believe marketing and promotion are crucial for every company and corporation. First, if companies implement suitable marketing plans and advertising campaigns, they can engage more customers. Customers may be curious about the merchandise, leading them to demand to buy and own those products. This can increase sales and significantly enhance the company’s profits. Moreover, companies should utilize social media for marketing and promotion. This not only attracts global customers but also raises brand awareness among consumers.

Another reason I agree with this perspective is that by developing effective marketing strategies and advertising campaigns, companies can attract foreign investment. Not only can they receive significant investments for product development, but they can also foster the growth of the company and its businesses. Furthermore, foreign investors can bring advanced technologies and specialized skills, enabling the local workforce to learn from them. By doing so, it enhances local expertise, thereby making industries more successful and innovative.

In conclusion, for the reasons I have mentioned above, it is clear that marketing and promotion are the most crucial keys to achieving a successful business.