More and more people are using computers and electric devices to assess information, therefore there is no need for printed books, magazines, and newspapers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the contemporary era of technology, an increasing number of people tend to digitize their acquisition of information by making use of electric devices. This consequently has led to some prediction that the demand for printed sources is coming to an end. This essay attempts to articulate the supporting stance, which staunchly advocates for the use of computer-based information over the other for two reasons.

There are a sizable number of reasons digital information can mostly replace the printed one, chief among these is its transferability. It can be traced back to its ability to be spread and stored which allows individuals to assess the information without any cumbersome movement or delivery like the paper-based does. A typical example for this is the tremendous growth of online newspapers in the last two decades which has mostly caused the displacement of traditional newspapers. Therefore, the demand for printed books, magazines, and newspapers seems to be at the edge of disappearance.

Moreover, the upward trend of using electric devices to update knowledge can possibly cause the displacement of paper-based information because of its contribution to sustainability. Most readers nowadays have been increasingly aware of sustainable consumerism and they support cutting down on the amount of paper usage. A recent research shows that individuals use computers or Kindle to read because of environmental reasons. Consequently, it is possible that electric devices might replace printed sources and become the main means of assessing information.

In conclusion, the possibility of computerized information replacing paper-based one can be traced to its transferability and its contribution to sustainability.

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Errors and Improvements:

"an increasing number of people tend to digitize their acquisition of information" -> "an increasing number of individuals are inclined to digitize their information acquisition"
Explanation: "tend to" is somewhat informal and lacks precision. "Acquisition of information" is a bit redundant; "information acquisition" is more concise. "Individuals" is a more formal term than "people."
"This consequently has led to some prediction that the demand for printed sources is coming to an end." -> "Consequently, this has prompted predictions that the demand for printed sources is dwindling."
Explanation: "some prediction" is vague and lacks specificity. "Coming to an end" is somewhat informal; "dwindling" is a more formal alternative. Rephrasing for clarity and formality enhances the academic tone.
"which staunchly advocates for the use of computer-based information over the other" -> "which strongly advocates for the preference of computer-based information over traditional formats"
Explanation: "staunchly" is somewhat informal; "strongly" maintains the emphasis without detracting from formality. "Over the other" lacks precision and formality; "over traditional formats" provides a clearer comparison.
"chief among these is its transferability" -> "chief among these is its ease of transfer"
Explanation: While "transferability" is technically correct, "ease of transfer" is more straightforward and aligns better with academic style.
"which allows individuals to assess the information without any cumbersome movement or delivery like the paper-based does" -> "which enables individuals to access information without the logistical challenges associated with traditional print media"
Explanation: "assess" is more precise than "assess" in this context. "Cumbersome movement or delivery" is overly verbose; "logistical challenges" is more concise and formal. "Paper-based" is informal; "traditional print media" is a more appropriate term in academic writing.
"A typical example for this is the tremendous growth of online newspapers in the last two decades which has mostly caused the displacement of traditional newspapers." -> "A notable illustration of this phenomenon is the significant proliferation of online newspapers in the past two decades, largely resulting in the displacement of traditional print newspapers."
Explanation: "A typical example for this" is informal and lacks clarity. "Tremendous growth" is somewhat colloquial; "significant proliferation" is more formal. Rephrasing enhances precision and formality.
"Therefore, the demand for printed books, magazines, and newspapers seems to be at the edge of disappearance." -> "Therefore, the demand for printed books, magazines, and newspapers appears to be on the brink of decline."
Explanation: "At the edge of disappearance" is informal; "on the brink of decline" is a more formal and precise alternative.
"Moreover, the upward trend of using electric devices to update knowledge" -> "Furthermore, the upward trend of utilizing electronic devices for knowledge acquisition"
Explanation: "Electric devices" is informal; "electronic devices" is more suitable for academic writing. "Update knowledge" is vague; "knowledge acquisition" is more precise.
"Most readers nowadays have been increasingly aware of sustainable consumerism and they support cutting down on the amount of paper usage." -> "Many contemporary readers are increasingly cognizant of sustainable consumer practices and advocate for reducing paper consumption."
Explanation: "Most readers nowadays have been increasingly aware" is somewhat redundant and lacks precision. "Sustainable consumerism" is more formal than "sustainable consumer practices." Simplifying and rephrasing for clarity and formality.
"A recent research shows" -> "Recent research indicates"
Explanation: "A recent research" is grammatically incorrect; "recent research" is the correct form. "Shows" is less formal than "indicates" in this context.
"Consequently, it is possible that electric devices might replace printed sources and become the main means of assessing information." -> "Consequently, it is plausible that electronic devices may supplant printed sources as the primary medium for accessing information."
Explanation: "Electric devices" is informal; "electronic devices" is more suitable for academic writing. "Assessing information" is vague; "accessing information" is more precise. Rephrasing for formality and clarity enhances the academic tone.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay adequately addresses all parts of the question. It acknowledges the trend of increasing digitization in accessing information and presents a clear stance in favor of computer-based information over printed sources.
- How to improve: To enhance comprehensiveness, the essay could provide a more thorough exploration of potential counterarguments or alternative perspectives. This could involve discussing situations where printed materials might still hold value despite technological advancements.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear and consistent position throughout, asserting that digital information is preferable due to its transferability and contribution to sustainability.
- How to improve: While the position is clear, the essay could strengthen its stance by further elaborating on why transferability and sustainability are particularly important factors in the context of information access. Providing more nuanced reasoning would fortify the argument.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas regarding the superiority of digital over printed information, supported by examples such as the growth of online newspapers and the trend towards sustainable consumerism.
- How to improve: To improve, the essay could extend its discussion by providing additional examples or evidence to bolster its points. This could involve citing studies or statistics demonstrating the widespread adoption of digital devices for information consumption.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively stays on topic by addressing the issue of whether printed materials are becoming obsolete in the face of digital alternatives.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the essay could avoid tangential discussions or unrelated examples. Ensuring that each point directly relates to the central argument would further strengthen coherence and relevance.

Overall, while the essay effectively argues for the superiority of digital information over printed sources, there is room for improvement in terms of depth of analysis and breadth of supporting evidence. By addressing these areas, the essay could enhance its persuasiveness and achieve an even higher band score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a clear organizational structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the argument, such as the transferability of digital information and its contribution to sustainability. The progression of ideas is logical, starting with an introduction to the topic, followed by supporting arguments, and concluding with a summary of the main points.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization further, consider providing smoother transitions between paragraphs to improve coherence. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and provides sufficient explanation and evidence to support it.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas and arguments. Each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea, followed by supporting details and examples. However, some paragraphs could be more developed to provide a deeper exploration of the arguments presented.
- How to improve: Strengthen paragraph structure by expanding on each main idea with additional supporting evidence or examples. Aim for a balance between paragraph length and depth of analysis to maintain reader engagement and clarity.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay utilizes cohesive devices such as transition words ("therefore," "moreover," "in conclusion") to connect ideas and create coherence between sentences and paragraphs. These devices help guide the reader through the argument and highlight the relationship between different points. However, there is room for improvement in diversifying the types of cohesive devices used.
- How to improve: Introduce a wider variety of cohesive devices, including pronouns (e.g., "this," "these"), reference words (e.g., "the former," "the latter"), and synonyms for repetition reduction. Additionally, pay attention to the placement of cohesive devices to ensure they effectively link ideas and improve the overall flow of the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary throughout. For instance, varied terms like "digitize," "acquisition," "staunchly," "displacement," "sustainability," and "consumerism" enrich the discourse and showcase lexical diversity. These words are aptly used within the context, enhancing the clarity and depth of the argument.
- How to improve: While the essay showcases a strong lexical repertoire, incorporating more specialized or nuanced vocabulary related to technology, environmentalism, and information dissemination could further elevate the lexical richness. Additionally, using collocations or idiomatic expressions related to the topic could enhance the sophistication of the language.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally employs vocabulary with precision, effectively conveying the intended meaning. For example, phrases like "transferability," "upward trend," and "sustainable consumerism" are utilized accurately to articulate key concepts related to the prompt. However, there are instances where slightly more precise terminology could enhance clarity and specificity. For instance, replacing "chief among these" with "primarily," or "sizable number of reasons" with "various factors" could refine the expression.
- How to improve: To further enhance precision, consider refining expressions to avoid potential ambiguity. Additionally, incorporating domain-specific terminology or technical jargon where appropriate could add depth and authority to the argument.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a high level of spelling accuracy, with no evident errors detracting from comprehension. Words are consistently spelled correctly, contributing to the overall clarity and professionalism of the writing.
- How to improve: To maintain this level of accuracy, continue to review and revise written work carefully. Utilize spell-checking tools and proofreading techniques to catch any potential errors. Additionally, expanding vocabulary through reading and active engagement with written material can reinforce spelling proficiency over time.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of sentence structures, incorporating both simple and complex constructions effectively. For instance, it employs introductory phrases ("In the contemporary era of technology," "Moreover, the upward trend of using electric devices…") to vary sentence beginnings, enhancing readability. Additionally, there is a mixture of compound and complex sentences throughout the essay ("This consequently has led to some prediction…"; "A typical example for this is the tremendous growth…"). These varied structures contribute to the essay’s coherence and fluency.
- How to improve: To further diversify sentence structures, consider integrating more complex constructions such as conditional sentences ("If individuals prioritize sustainability, they may opt for digital sources over printed ones") or inversion ("Not only can digital information be easily accessed, but it also reduces environmental impact"). Introducing rhetorical devices like parallelism or rhetorical questions can also add depth to the essay’s structure.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of grammar and punctuation, with few errors detracting from clarity. However, there are a few instances where minor grammatical issues arise, such as subject-verb agreement ("an increasing number of people tend to digitize their acquisition of information") and article usage ("the displacement of traditional newspapers"). Additionally, some sentences could benefit from clearer punctuation for smoother readability ("A recent research shows that individuals use computers or Kindle to read because of environmental reasons.").
- How to improve: Reviewing subject-verb agreement rules can help eliminate errors like the one mentioned above. For instance, ensuring that the subject "number" agrees with the singular verb "tends" would improve accuracy ("an increasing number of people tends to digitize"). Similarly, paying attention to article usage, especially in academic writing, can enhance precision. Regarding punctuation, revisiting comma usage guidelines can aid in creating clearer sentence structures. For example, inserting a comma after "research" in the sentence "A recent research shows…" would clarify the statement. Additionally, proofreading the essay thoroughly can help identify and correct any remaining grammatical or punctuation errors.

Bài sửa mẫu

In today’s technological era, an increasing number of individuals are inclined to digitize their information acquisition by utilizing electric devices. Consequently, there are predictions that the demand for printed sources is dwindling. This essay aims to support the notion that computer-based information is preferred over traditional formats for two primary reasons.

One of the key reasons why digital information can largely supplant printed sources is its ease of transfer. This is primarily due to its ability to be easily disseminated and stored, allowing individuals to access information without the logistical challenges associated with traditional print media. A notable illustration of this phenomenon is the significant proliferation of online newspapers in the past two decades, which has largely resulted in the displacement of traditional print newspapers. Therefore, the demand for printed books, magazines, and newspapers appears to be on the brink of decline.

Furthermore, the upward trend of utilizing electronic devices for knowledge acquisition may contribute to the displacement of paper-based information, particularly due to its alignment with sustainable consumer practices. Many contemporary readers are increasingly cognizant of sustainable consumer practices and advocate for reducing paper consumption. Recent research indicates that individuals are opting for computers or Kindle for reading due to environmental reasons. Consequently, it is plausible that electronic devices may supplant printed sources as the primary medium for accessing information.

In conclusion, the possibility of computerized information replacing paper-based information can be attributed to its ease of transfer and its contribution to sustainability.