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More and more people decide to eat healthy food and exercise regularly. What are the reasons for this trend? What can be done to more people to eat healthier and exercise?

More and more people decide to eat healthy food and exercise regularly. What are the reasons for this trend? What can be done to more people to eat healthier and exercise?

It is observed that a lot of people choose consume healthy diet and doing regular exercise. Several problems have resulted from this tendency and there are a number of viable solutions that can be considered to address such issue.

On the one hand, have a healthy diet can be ascribed to some factors. Firstly, people nowadays are educated about the connection of their lifestyle with their well-being. In fact, the quality of their life are better and some social media like YouTube, tiktok spread a lot of information about nutrients and health. Moreover, people raise their awareness of the importance of health. This is because there are a lot of availability and accessibility of healthier options in social media platforms, blogs that people can find.

On the other hand, the government should come up with solutions to offer free exercising facilities. Subsequently, taxes on healthy foods will be reduced so people are more universally attainable that foods. A second effective measure would be government should encourage people to do physical activities. If government allocate more funding to free sport and exercise facilities, a lot of people in all ages will do regular exercise. Besides, people can engage in physical activities through the promotion of different sports like walking, cycling,…

All things considered, it is apparent that this circumstance emerges owing to various reasons including quality of people life are better and people raise their awareness of the importance of health, which need to be tacked with appropriate steps such as government should offer free exercising facilities and government should encourage people to do physical activities.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "a lot of people choose consume healthy diet" -> "many individuals opt for a nutritious diet"
    Explanation: Replacing "a lot of people choose consume" with "many individuals opt for" and using "a nutritious diet" instead of "healthy diet" elevates the vocabulary to a more formal level while maintaining clarity.

  2. "Several problems have resulted from this tendency" -> "This trend has given rise to several issues"
    Explanation: The suggested change provides a more precise and formal expression by replacing "resulted from this tendency" with "given rise to" and replacing "problems" with "issues."

  3. "have a healthy diet can be ascribed to some factors" -> "Maintaining a healthy diet can be attributed to several factors"
    Explanation: The suggested revision employs more formal language by using "Maintaining a healthy diet" instead of "have a healthy diet" and "attributed to" in place of "ascribed to."

  4. "the quality of their life are better" -> "their quality of life has improved"
    Explanation: The correction improves the sentence by using proper subject-verb agreement ("their quality of life has improved") and avoiding the informal phrase "are better."

  5. "social media like YouTube, tiktok" -> "platforms such as YouTube and TikTok"
    Explanation: Replacing "social media like YouTube, tiktok" with "platforms such as YouTube and TikTok" presents a more formal and precise description of the media platforms mentioned.

  6. "people raise their awareness of the importance of health" -> "people have heightened their awareness regarding health’s significance"
    Explanation: The revised sentence employs more sophisticated vocabulary and a formal structure by replacing "raise their awareness" with "have heightened their awareness" and "importance of health" with "health’s significance."

  7. "there are a lot of availability and accessibility" -> "a plethora of availability and accessibility"
    Explanation: The suggested change uses more formal and precise language, replacing "a lot of" with "a plethora."

  8. "government should come up with solutions" -> "the government should formulate solutions"
    Explanation: The revision employs a more formal and precise phrasing by replacing "come up with" with "formulate" and "solutions" to maintain consistency.

  9. "so people are more universally attainable that foods" -> "so that these foods become more universally accessible"
    Explanation: The improved version clarifies the sentence by changing "are more universally attainable" to "become more universally accessible" and rephrasing the latter part for clarity.

  10. "government should encourage people to do physical activities" -> "the government should promote physical activity among the population"
    Explanation: The suggested change utilizes more formal language, replacing "encourage people to do" with "promote physical activity among the population."

  11. "government allocate more funding to free sport and exercise facilities" -> "the government should allocate increased funding to free sports and exercise facilities"
    Explanation: The revised sentence employs proper grammar and formal language by using "should allocate increased funding to" and "sports and exercise facilities."

  12. "a lot of people in all ages" -> "individuals of all ages"
    Explanation: The suggested change uses "individuals of all ages" for a more formal and precise expression.

  13. "which need to be tacked" -> "which need to be addressed"
    Explanation: The correction replaces "tacked" with "addressed" for a more appropriate and formal term in the context of solving a problem.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay partially addresses all parts of the question. It discusses reasons for the trend of healthy eating and regular exercise, as well as proposes some solutions. However, the explanations are somewhat vague, and there is room for improvement in providing more detailed and focused responses.
    • How to improve: To improve, the writer should ensure that they fully address each aspect of the question. In this case, they should provide more specific reasons for the trend and more concrete solutions for encouraging healthier habits.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear position on the importance of healthy eating and exercise. It consistently emphasizes the benefits of these habits.
    • How to improve: No improvement is needed in terms of maintaining a clear and consistent position.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents some ideas but lacks in-depth development and support. For instance, it mentions that people are educated about the connection between lifestyle and well-being, but doesn’t provide concrete examples or evidence to support this claim.
    • How to improve: To improve, the writer should provide specific examples and evidence to support their ideas. This could include statistics, studies, or real-life examples to strengthen the argument.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay mostly stays on topic but occasionally veers off track. For example, the mention of social media platforms like YouTube and TikTok seems somewhat tangential to the main discussion.
    • How to improve: To stay more on topic, the writer should ensure that all points made are directly related to the reasons for the trend of healthy eating and exercise and the solutions to encourage them. Avoid unnecessary details that may distract from the main theme.

Overall, this essay has a clear position and partially addresses all parts of the question, but it could benefit from more specific examples and a tighter focus on the main topic. Additionally, staying on topic consistently throughout the essay would enhance its coherence and relevance.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a generally logical organization, with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, there are some issues with the organization within body paragraphs. For instance, the first body paragraph combines reasons for the trend and possible solutions, making it less clear.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider separating reasons and solutions into distinct body paragraphs. This will make the essay more structured and easier for the reader to follow. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that relates to the prompt.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs but could benefit from better paragraph structure. In the first body paragraph, multiple ideas are merged, making it less effective. The essay also lacks clear transitions between paragraphs.
    • How to improve: Divide content more clearly into paragraphs, each focusing on a single main idea related to either reasons or solutions. Use transition sentences at the end of each paragraph to connect ideas and maintain a smooth flow of information.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices such as "on the one hand" and "on the other hand," but there’s room for improvement in using a wider variety of cohesive devices. Furthermore, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes awkward, impacting the overall coherence.
    • How to improve: Explore a broader range of cohesive devices like "in addition," "furthermore," "consequently," etc., to create smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs. Practice using these devices to ensure they fit seamlessly within the text, enhancing overall cohesion.

Overall, the essay shows potential but could benefit from refining its organization, paragraph structure, and the variety and effectiveness of cohesive devices. Separating reasons and solutions, improving paragraphing, and diversifying cohesive devices will help elevate the coherence and cohesion of the essay to a higher band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay displays a moderate range of vocabulary, with some attempts to use varied words. Examples include "consume" instead of "eat," "ascribed" instead of "attributed," "availability and accessibility" to describe options, and "allocate" to suggest distributing funding. However, the range is somewhat limited, and there are instances of repetitive word choices such as "health" and "people."
    • How to improve: To improve vocabulary range, the writer should explore more synonyms and alternative expressions. Using a thesaurus or engaging in more extensive reading can help. Additionally, varying sentence structures can naturally introduce diverse vocabulary.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay often uses vocabulary precisely and effectively, demonstrating the ability to convey ideas accurately. For instance, "educated about the connection of their lifestyle" is a precise phrase. However, there are occasional imprecise word choices, like "have a healthy diet" instead of "maintain a healthy diet," and "quality of people life are better," where the phrasing could be improved.
    • How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should pay attention to word choice and context. Precision can be improved by selecting the most appropriate words and phrases to convey specific meanings. Proofreading and editing can help identify and rectify imprecise language.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: Spelling is generally accurate, with only a few minor issues. For instance, "do physical activities" could benefit from the article "engage in physical activities." Additionally, there are minor grammar issues that affect the overall coherence of sentences, such as "have a healthy diet" instead of "maintain a healthy diet."
    • How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy and overall language proficiency, it’s advisable for the writer to proofread carefully and consider seeking feedback from others. Additionally, practicing sentence structure and grammar rules will contribute to improved writing.

Overall, the essay demonstrates moderate proficiency in lexical resource, with room for improvement in vocabulary range and precision. Spelling accuracy is generally good, but attention to minor grammatical issues would enhance overall clarity and coherence.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay employs a mix of sentence structures, including simple sentences and some compound sentences. However, there is room for improvement in sentence variety. Most sentences are straightforward, lacking complexity. While some complex sentences are used, they are not consistently employed to enhance the essay’s flow and coherence.

    • How to improve: To improve the variety and effectiveness of sentence structures, the writer can incorporate more complex sentences, such as those with subordinate clauses or relative clauses. For example, instead of stating, "On the one hand, have a healthy diet can be ascribed to some factors," they could write, "One of the contributing factors to maintaining a healthy diet is the growing awareness of its benefits." This change would not only diversify sentence structures but also enhance clarity and readability.

  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits some grammatical inaccuracies, including subject-verb agreement issues, tense inconsistencies, and awkward phrasing. For instance, "have a healthy diet" should be "maintaining a healthy diet," and "raise their awareness of the importance of health" should be "raising awareness of the importance of health." Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing commas in places where they are needed, such as after introductory phrases.

    • How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, the writer should pay closer attention to subject-verb agreement, tense consistency, and proper word usage. Proofreading and revising for these errors can significantly improve the clarity and precision of the essay. Additionally, practicing proper comma usage, especially after introductory phrases or clauses, will contribute to better punctuation skills.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and maintains a coherent argument. However, addressing the mentioned grammatical issues and diversifying sentence structures would further elevate the essay’s quality and make it even more effective.

Bài sửa mẫu

It is observed that many individuals opt for a nutritious diet and engage in regular exercise. This trend has given rise to several issues, and there are viable solutions that can be considered to address these problems.

Maintaining a healthy diet can be attributed to several factors. Firstly, people nowadays are more educated about the connection between their lifestyle and their well-being. In fact, the quality of their life has improved, and platforms such as YouTube and TikTok disseminate a wealth of information about nutrition and health. Moreover, people have heightened their awareness regarding the significance of health. This is because there is a plethora of availability and accessibility of healthier options on social media platforms and blogs that people can easily access.

On the other hand, the government should formulate solutions to make healthy foods more universally accessible. Subsequently, taxes on healthy foods should be reduced so that these foods become more universally accessible. A second effective measure would be for the government to promote physical activity among individuals of all ages. If the government allocates increased funding to free sports and exercise facilities, a lot of people in all age groups will engage in regular exercise. Besides, people can participate in physical activities through the promotion of different sports like walking, cycling, and more.

All things considered, it is apparent that this circumstance emerges owing to various reasons, including the fact that people’s quality of life has improved and people have raised their awareness of the importance of health. These issues need to be addressed with appropriate steps, such as the government offering free exercising facilities and promoting physical activities among the population.

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