More and more people today are choosing to eat only healthy food and are making time to exercise regularly .Why is this ? What can be done to encourage other people to eat only healthy food and to make time to exercise regularly

The modern world is witnessing a surge in health consciousness, with a growing number of people prioritizing healthy eating and regular exercise.Delving into the factors driving the health and wellness movement and exploring strategies to foster a healthier population will be the focus of this essay.
First of all , by the proliferation of the internet, information about the impact of diet and exercise on overall well-being is readily available through various channels.Therefore, people are becoming increasingly knowledgeable about the link between unhealthy lifestyles and chronic diseases such as hert disease, obesity. This newfound awareness promotes individuals to take charge of their health by following nutritional diets and incorparating cosistent physical activities into their routines. Furthermore, stress management is another reason behind the development of healthy habits.According to research, exercise regularly can release endorphins and promotes better sleep,both of which contribute to mental health and reduce stress levels. As a result, regular exercise is a powerful tool to distract daily stressors and improve their overall mental well-being.
On the other hand, there are serveral way to encourage others embrance a healthy lifestyle, with education and aceessibility playing crucial roles .Teaching children about healthy habits from a young age can create a strong base for heathy living throughout their life.Additionally, social media influencers who promote healthy living can inspire others to adopt similar habits by sharing personal experiences.
In conclusion ,healthy lifestyle is the effective way for preventing illness before it occurs.Therefore, it is neccesarry by the supportion of education and social media for growing understanding about importance of nutritions and physical activities

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Errors and Improvements:

"Delving into the factors driving the health and wellness movement and exploring strategies to foster a healthier population will be the focus of this essay." -> "This essay will focus on exploring the factors driving the health and wellness movement and strategies to foster a healthier population."
Explanation: The original sentence is somewhat informal and could be more concise. Simplifying and restructuring the sentence helps maintain a formal academic tone.
"First of all , by the proliferation of the internet, information about the impact of diet and exercise on overall well-being is readily available through various channels." -> "Primarily, due to the proliferation of the internet, information regarding the impact of diet and exercise on overall well-being is readily accessible through various channels."
Explanation: "First of all" is too informal for academic writing. "Primarily" is a more formal alternative. Additionally, "due to" is a more precise phrase than "by," and "accessible" is a more formal term than "available."
"Therefore, people are becoming increasingly knowledgeable about the link between unhealthy lifestyles and chronic diseases such as heart disease, obesity." -> "Consequently, individuals are gaining increasing awareness of the connection between unhealthy lifestyles and chronic diseases such as heart disease and obesity."
Explanation: "Therefore" is somewhat informal; "consequently" is a more formal alternative. Also, adding "and" before "obesity" improves the parallel structure of the sentence.
"This newfound awareness promotes individuals to take charge of their health by following nutritional diets and incorporating consistent physical activities into their routines." -> "This newfound awareness encourages individuals to take control of their health by adhering to nutritional diets and integrating consistent physical activities into their routines."
Explanation: "Promotes" is a bit informal; "encourages" is a more formal alternative. Additionally, "adhering to" is a more precise phrase than "following," and "integrating" is a more formal term than "incorporating."
"Furthermore, stress management is another reason behind the development of healthy habits." -> "Moreover, stress management is another contributing factor to the adoption of healthy habits."
Explanation: "Furthermore" is slightly informal for academic writing; "moreover" is a more appropriate alternative. Also, "contributing factor to" is a clearer phrase than "reason behind."
"According to research, exercise regularly can release endorphins and promotes better sleep, both of which contribute to mental health and reduce stress levels." -> "Research indicates that regular exercise can release endorphins and promote better sleep, both of which contribute to mental health and reduce stress levels."
Explanation: The original sentence lacks subject-verb agreement ("promotes" should be "promote"). Rephrasing for subject-verb agreement and adding "Research indicates that" at the beginning strengthens the academic tone.
"On the other hand, there are several ways to encourage others embrace a healthy lifestyle, with education and accessibility playing crucial roles." -> "On the other hand, there are several ways to encourage others to embrace a healthy lifestyle, with education and accessibility playing crucial roles."
Explanation: "Encourage others embrace" should be "encourage others to embrace" for proper grammar.
"Teaching children about healthy habits from a young age can create a strong base for heathy living throughout their life." -> "Teaching children about healthy habits from a young age can establish a solid foundation for healthy living throughout their lives."
Explanation: "Base for" should be "foundation for" for more formal language. Also, "their life" should be "their lives" for subject-verb agreement.
"Additionally, social media influencers who promote healthy living can inspire others to adopt similar habits by sharing personal experiences." -> "Moreover, social media influencers who promote healthy living can inspire others to adopt similar habits by sharing personal experiences."
Explanation: "Additionally" is slightly informal; "moreover" is a more appropriate alternative for academic writing.
"In conclusion ,healthy lifestyle is the effective way for preventing illness before it occurs." -> "In conclusion, adopting a healthy lifestyle is an effective means of preventing illness before it occurs."
Explanation: "Healthy lifestyle is the effective way for preventing illness" is grammatically incorrect and lacks clarity. "Adopting a healthy lifestyle" is a clearer and more formal alternative. Additionally, "means of preventing" is more precise than "way for preventing." Removing the space before the comma also adheres to academic writing conventions.
"Therefore, it is necessary by the supportion of education and social media for growing understanding about importance of nutrition and physical activities." -> "Therefore, it is necessary to support education and social media to enhance understanding of the importance of nutrition and physical activity."
Explanation: "By the supportion of" is grammatically incorrect and awkward. Restructuring the sentence and using "to enhance understanding" improves clarity and formality. Also, "nutrition" should be changed to "nutrition" for correct spelling, and "physical activities" should be changed to "physical activity" for proper parallelism with "nutrition."

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay adequately addresses both aspects of the prompt. It discusses the reasons behind the trend of choosing healthy food and regular exercise and suggests methods to encourage others to follow suit. The introduction sets the stage by stating the focus on health consciousness and strategies for fostering a healthier population.
- How to improve: To enhance the comprehensiveness of addressing all parts of the question, consider providing more specific examples or statistics to support the points made. Additionally, ensure that the conclusion succinctly summarizes the key points discussed in the essay.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position throughout, advocating for the importance of a healthy lifestyle and suggesting methods to promote it. Each paragraph consistently reinforces the idea that prioritizing health through nutrition and exercise is crucial for overall well-being.
- How to improve: To further strengthen the clarity and consistency of the position, consider explicitly stating the thesis statement in the introduction and reiterating it in the conclusion. This can help reinforce the essay’s main argument and ensure that the reader remains focused on the central theme.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas about the factors driving the health and wellness movement effectively. It discusses the role of internet access in spreading awareness, the link between exercise and mental health, and strategies for encouraging healthy habits. However, some ideas could be further developed with additional examples or elaboration.
- How to improve: To extend and support ideas more effectively, consider providing specific case studies, research findings, or anecdotal evidence to illustrate the points made. This can help make the arguments more persuasive and engaging for the reader.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic by addressing the importance of healthy eating and regular exercise, as prompted. However, there are minor instances where the connection to the topic could be clearer, such as the discussion of stress management. While relevant, ensuring that every point directly relates back to the central theme of health promotion would strengthen coherence.
- How to improve: To maintain focus and relevance to the topic, carefully evaluate each paragraph to ensure that all information provided directly contributes to the overall argument. Eliminate any tangential discussions that do not directly support the essay’s main points.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the prompt and effectively communicates ideas about the importance of healthy living and strategies for promoting it. To further enhance the essay, consider incorporating more specific examples, reinforcing the central argument, providing additional support for ideas, and ensuring coherence and relevance throughout.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable level of logical organization. It starts with an introduction that outlines the focus of the essay, followed by two body paragraphs discussing the reasons for the trend towards healthy eating and exercise, and strategies to encourage others to adopt similar habits. The conclusion wraps up the essay by reiterating the importance of a healthy lifestyle. However, some ideas could be better connected for smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs. For instance, the transition from discussing stress management to strategies for encouraging healthy habits could be smoother to enhance coherence.
- How to improve: To improve logical organization, ensure that each paragraph builds upon the previous one and transitions smoothly to the next. Use clear topic sentences to introduce the main idea of each paragraph and use transitional phrases or words to connect ideas between sentences and paragraphs.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay utilizes paragraphs to organize its content, with distinct sections for the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, there are issues with the structure and coherence within some paragraphs. For example, the second paragraph discusses the impact of the internet on health awareness, but it could be divided into two separate paragraphs for clearer organization. Additionally, the concluding paragraph is brief and could be expanded to summarize the main points more effectively.
- How to improve: Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and provides adequate explanation and support. Consider breaking longer paragraphs into smaller ones to improve clarity and coherence. Also, expand the conclusion to recap the key points of the essay and provide a more comprehensive ending.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs a variety of cohesive devices, including conjunctions (e.g., "Furthermore," "On the other hand"), transition words (e.g., "First of all," "Additionally," "In conclusion"), and pronouns (e.g., "this," "these"). However, there is room for improvement in the consistent use and effectiveness of these devices. Some transitions between ideas are abrupt, leading to a slightly disjointed flow.
- How to improve: Increase the use of cohesive devices to create smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs. Ensure that each cohesive device is used appropriately and effectively to enhance the overall coherence of the essay. Consider using a wider range of cohesive devices, such as synonyms and parallel structures, to add variety and sophistication to the writing.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary, incorporating terms such as "well-being," "proliferation," "chronic diseases," "endorphins," "stressors," and "mental well-being." However, there is room for improvement in diversifying the vocabulary further to enhance lexical richness and sophistication.
- How to improve: To enrich the vocabulary range, consider incorporating synonyms or alternative expressions for commonly used terms. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "health" and "well-being," explore synonyms like "fitness," "vitality," "healthfulness," or "wellness." Additionally, introduce domain-specific terminology related to nutrition and exercise to demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some precision in vocabulary usage, but there are instances of imprecise language. For example, the phrase "the modern world is witnessing a surge in health consciousness" could be more precise by specifying the demographic or context where this surge is observed. Additionally, the term "serveral way" should be corrected to "several ways" for grammatical accuracy.
- How to improve: Enhance precision by selecting vocabulary that accurately conveys the intended meaning. Avoid generalizations and strive for clarity and specificity in expression. Proofreading for grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement, will also contribute to more precise language usage.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a satisfactory level of spelling accuracy overall, with minor errors such as "hert" instead of "heart" and "aceessibility" instead of "accessibility." While these errors do not significantly impede understanding, they detract from the overall professionalism and clarity of the writing.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, utilize spell-checking tools and proofread the essay carefully before submission. Pay close attention to commonly misspelled words and homophones, and consider creating a personal list of words that pose spelling challenges for future reference. Additionally, seeking feedback from peers or instructors can help identify and correct spelling errors effectively.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable attempt at utilizing a variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For instance, there are instances of complex sentences such as "According to research, exercise regularly can release endorphins and promote better sleep, both of which contribute to mental health and reduce stress levels." However, there is room for improvement in enhancing the sophistication and complexity of sentence structures further.
- How to improve: To enhance the range of structures, consider incorporating more complex sentence constructions, such as using subordinate clauses or varying sentence lengths to add rhythm and flow to the prose. Additionally, employing rhetorical devices like parallelism or inversion can elevate the writing style and engage the reader more effectively.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay demonstrates a relatively strong grasp of grammar and punctuation. However, there are instances of grammatical errors and punctuation inaccuracies throughout the text. For example, "hert disease" should be corrected to "heart disease," "incorparating" should be "incorporating," and "aceessibility" should be "accessibility." Additionally, there are minor punctuation errors, such as missing commas after introductory phrases.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy and punctuation skills, it is essential to proofread the essay carefully for errors before submission. Additionally, consider utilizing grammar-checking tools or seeking feedback from peers or teachers to identify and rectify any grammatical or punctuation mistakes. Developing a habit of revising and editing written work systematically can significantly enhance accuracy and clarity in expression.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid command of grammar and a reasonable variety of sentence structures, there is still room for improvement in both areas. By incorporating more sophisticated sentence structures and refining grammar and punctuation skills, the essay can achieve a higher band score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy.

Bài sửa mẫu

The contemporary era witnesses a surge in health awareness, with more individuals prioritizing healthy eating and regular exercise. In this essay, we’ll delve into the factors driving this trend and explore strategies to encourage a healthier population.

Primarily, the widespread availability of information on the internet plays a pivotal role. People can easily access information about the impact of diet and exercise on overall well-being through various channels. Consequently, individuals are becoming increasingly aware of the link between unhealthy lifestyles and chronic diseases such as heart disease and obesity. This newfound awareness motivates people to take control of their health by following nutritious diets and incorporating consistent physical activities into their routines.

Moreover, stress management is another significant factor driving the adoption of healthy habits. Research suggests that regular exercise releases endorphins and promotes better sleep, both of which contribute to mental health and reduce stress levels. Thus, regular exercise serves as a potent tool to alleviate daily stressors and enhance overall mental well-being.

On the other hand, there are several ways to encourage others to embrace a healthy lifestyle, with education and accessibility playing crucial roles. Educating children about healthy habits from a young age lays a solid foundation for lifelong healthy living. Additionally, social media influencers who advocate for healthy living can inspire others by sharing their personal experiences.

In conclusion, adopting a healthy lifestyle is an effective means of preventing illness before it occurs. Therefore, it is essential to support education and utilize social media to enhance understanding of the importance of nutrition and physical activity.