More and more people want to buy clothes, cars and other products from well-known brands. What are the reasons? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

In recent times, the purchases of items from famous brands have significantly increased. This tendency is attributable to globalisation and enhanced living standards. Although it encourages materialism, the benefits, such as stimulating innovations and boosting productivity, render it a progress.
The globalisation of commodities from large companies has benefited global consumers through improved logistics systems, customised services, and wider marketing networks. In the old days, there were various barriers that discouraged buyers to make their purchase, such as high shipping costs or limited access to information about the products. Many of these difficulties have been addressed thanks to advancements in technology and more exchanges among countries. Furthermore, with higher disposable incomes, many individuals nowadays can afford these items, and use them as a way to show their social status, such as Iphone 16 Pro Max. Despite the fact that its price is exorbitant, it has still been one of the most sought-after smartphones on the market.
On the downside, opponents of this development might point out its social impacts. It is sometimes argued that it encourages consumers, especially young people, to buy particular items for a sense of accomplishment rather than their real functional values. This extravagance is often compounded with ethical concerns, such as the tendency to judge others by their appearance, clothes, or properties, and forget spiritual values like empathy, kindness, and care. On the upside, the increase in the sales of these products has motivated enterprises to be innovative and productive with the aims of accommodating the various needs of customers. As a consequence, new products with additional features and impressive designs have been introduced, offering users greater conveniences and enriching their experiences.
In conclusion, globalisation and a higher quality of life are the two reasons behind the trend that people buy more products from famous brands. Although it presents certain drawbacks, in particular materialism, the influences on the economy make it a pleasant development.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"In recent times" -> "Recently"
Explanation: "Recently" is a more concise and formal alternative to "In recent times," which is slightly redundant and less commonly used in academic writing.
"purchases of items from famous brands" -> "purchases of products from well-known brands"
Explanation: "Products" is a more precise term than "items" in this context, and "well-known" is a more formal synonym for "famous."
"This tendency is attributable to globalisation and enhanced living standards." -> "This trend is attributed to globalization and improved living standards."
Explanation: "Trend" is more specific than "tendency," and "globalization" should be spelled as one word. "Improved" is a more precise term than "enhanced" in this context.
"encourages materialism" -> "promotes materialism"
Explanation: "Promotes" is a more direct and academically appropriate verb than "encourages" in this context, emphasizing the causal relationship.
"render it a progress" -> "render it a progress"
Explanation: "Render it a progress" is grammatically incorrect. The correct phrase should be "render it a progress" or "render it a progress," depending on whether the intended meaning is that it is a positive development or not.
"In the old days" -> "Historically"
Explanation: "Historically" is a more formal and precise term than "In the old days," which is colloquial and vague.
"discouraged buyers to make their purchase" -> "deterred buyers from making their purchases"
Explanation: "Deterred" is more precise than "discouraged," and "from making their purchases" is grammatically correct compared to "to make their purchase."
"Many of these difficulties have been addressed" -> "Many of these challenges have been addressed"
Explanation: "Challenges" is a more specific term than "difficulties" in this context, referring to the obstacles faced in international trade.
"use them as a way to show their social status" -> "utilize them as a means to demonstrate their social status"
Explanation: "Utilize" and "means" are more formal and precise than "use" and "way," respectively, and "demonstrate" is more specific than "show."
"Iphone 16 Pro Max" -> "iPhone 16 Pro Max"
Explanation: "iPhone" should be capitalized as it is a proper noun.
"its price is exorbitant" -> "its price is excessively high"
Explanation: "Excessively high" is a more formal and precise description than "exorbitant," which can be seen as overly dramatic.
"On the downside" -> "On the negative side"
Explanation: "On the negative side" is a more formal expression than "On the downside," which is somewhat colloquial.
"encourages consumers, especially young people, to buy particular items for a sense of accomplishment" -> "influences consumers, particularly young individuals, to purchase certain products for a sense of achievement"
Explanation: "Influences" is more precise than "encourages," and "purchase" and "products" are more formal than "buy" and "items." "Particularly" is also more formal than "especially," and "achievement" is a more academic term than "accomplishment."
"forget spiritual values like empathy, kindness, and care" -> "neglect spiritual values such as empathy, kindness, and compassion"
Explanation: "Neglect" is more precise than "forget," and "such as" is more formal than "like." "Compassion" is a more formal synonym for "care."
"pleasant development" -> "desirable development"
Explanation: "Desirable" is a more formal and academically appropriate term than "pleasant," which is less formal and more subjective.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both parts of the prompt by discussing the reasons for the increasing desire to purchase branded products and providing an opinion on whether this trend is positive or negative. The reasons identified include globalization and improved living standards, which are well-supported with relevant examples. The conclusion succinctly summarizes the argument, indicating that the author views the trend as a positive development despite its drawbacks.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the essay could benefit from a more explicit breakdown of the reasons and their implications. For instance, the author could elaborate on how globalization specifically influences consumer behavior beyond logistics and marketing, perhaps by discussing cultural factors or social media’s role in brand popularity. Additionally, providing a more balanced view of both positive and negative aspects in separate paragraphs could strengthen the argument.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that the trend of purchasing branded goods is ultimately positive, despite acknowledging the negative aspects of materialism. This position is consistently reflected throughout the essay, particularly in the conclusion. However, the transition between discussing the negative impacts and the positive outcomes could be smoother to reinforce the overall stance.
- How to improve: To improve clarity and consistency, the author could use transitional phrases that explicitly connect the negative aspects to the positive outcomes. For example, after discussing materialism, the author could introduce the benefits by stating, "While materialism poses challenges, it also drives innovation and economic growth." This would create a more cohesive argument.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas, such as the role of globalization and the impact of higher living standards, and supports them with examples like the iPhone. However, some ideas could be further developed. For instance, the discussion on ethical concerns could be expanded with specific examples or statistics to illustrate the social implications of consumerism more vividly.
- How to improve: To enhance the depth of the argument, the author should aim to provide more detailed examples and explanations. Including specific case studies or data on consumer behavior trends could enrich the discussion. Additionally, exploring counterarguments in more detail would demonstrate a more nuanced understanding of the topic.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the reasons for the trend and the author’s opinion. However, there are moments where the discussion of materialism veers slightly off the main topic of consumer behavior, particularly when discussing spiritual values. While relevant, this could distract from the primary focus on branded goods.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the author should ensure that all points directly relate back to the central theme of consumerism and branded products. It may be helpful to limit discussions of broader social values unless they are directly tied to the implications of purchasing behavior. Keeping each paragraph tightly aligned with the prompt will strengthen the overall coherence of the essay.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a logical structure, beginning with an introduction that outlines the main reasons for the trend of purchasing from well-known brands. The body paragraphs are organized into distinct sections that discuss both the positive and negative aspects of this trend. For example, the first body paragraph effectively explains the benefits of globalization and increased living standards, while the second body paragraph addresses the social impacts and materialism associated with brand consumption. However, the transition between discussing the benefits and drawbacks could be smoother, as the shift feels somewhat abrupt.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using clearer transition phrases between paragraphs and within them. For instance, after discussing the benefits of brand consumption, a phrase like "Conversely, it is important to consider the potential downsides" could help signal the shift to the negative aspects. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that encapsulates its main idea would strengthen the overall organization.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively utilizes paragraphs to separate different ideas, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the discussion. The introduction sets the stage, while the body paragraphs delve into the reasons and implications of the trend. However, the second body paragraph could be further divided into two separate paragraphs: one focusing on the negative social impacts and the other on the positive economic influences. This would provide clearer delineation of ideas and enhance readability.
- How to improve: Aim for a more balanced distribution of ideas across paragraphs. Consider creating a separate paragraph for the discussion on materialism and its ethical implications, allowing for a more thorough exploration of each point. This would also help maintain the reader’s focus and improve the overall clarity of the argument.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a competent use of cohesive devices, such as "although," "despite," and "furthermore," which help to connect ideas and indicate contrasts. However, the range of cohesive devices could be expanded. For instance, while the essay uses some linking words effectively, there are instances where additional devices could enhance clarity, such as using "for instance" or "in addition" to provide examples or further explanations.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider variety of linking phrases and words. For example, when introducing examples or elaborating on a point, phrases like "this is evident in," or "for example," can provide smoother transitions. Additionally, consider using synonyms or rephrasing to avoid repetition of the same cohesive devices, which can make the writing feel monotonous.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of coherence and cohesion, there are opportunities for improvement in the organization of ideas, paragraph structure, and the range of cohesive devices used. By implementing the suggested strategies, the writer can enhance the clarity and effectiveness of their argument, potentially achieving a higher band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with terms like "globalisation," "materialism," "logistics systems," and "exorbitant" effectively conveying complex ideas. However, some vocabulary choices are somewhat repetitive, particularly in phrases like "purchases of items" and "buy particular items," which could be varied for greater lexical diversity.
- How to improve: To enhance lexical range, consider using synonyms or related terms. For instance, instead of repeating "items," you could use "goods," "products," or "merchandise." Additionally, incorporating more advanced vocabulary related to economics or consumer behavior could elevate the essay further.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary accurately, but there are instances of imprecise usage. For example, the phrase "the benefits, such as stimulating innovations and boosting productivity, render it a progress" could be clearer. The term "progress" is vague in this context and could be more specific, such as "a positive trend" or "an advancement in consumer culture."
- How to improve: Focus on clarity and specificity in word choice. Instead of saying "render it a progress," consider rephrasing to "indicate a positive shift in consumer behavior." This will help ensure that the intended meaning is conveyed more effectively.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay displays a high level of spelling accuracy, with no noticeable errors in the text. Words like "globalisation," "exorbitant," and "innovative" are spelled correctly, reflecting a strong command of English spelling conventions.
- How to improve: While spelling is already strong, continuing to practice spelling through reading and writing exercises can help maintain this level of accuracy. Consider using tools like spell checkers or engaging in vocabulary quizzes to reinforce correct spelling habits.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid command of lexical resource, achieving a Band Score of 7. By expanding vocabulary range, enhancing precision in word choice, and maintaining spelling accuracy, the writer can aim for an even higher score in this criterion.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences and varied clause types. For instance, the phrase "Although it encourages materialism, the benefits, such as stimulating innovations and boosting productivity, render it a progress" effectively combines an introductory subordinate clause with a main clause, showcasing a sophisticated structure. Additionally, the use of phrases like "In the old days" and "On the downside" indicates a good command of transitional phrases that enhance the flow of ideas. However, some sentences could benefit from further complexity or variation. For example, the sentence "This extravagance is often compounded with ethical concerns" could be expanded to include more detail about the ethical concerns, thus enriching the sentence structure.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures further, consider incorporating more compound-complex sentences that combine multiple clauses. For instance, you could link ideas about consumerism and its impact on society in a single sentence. Additionally, using a wider range of introductory phrases or clauses can add variety. For example, instead of starting with "On the downside," try variations like "Conversely," or "In contrast," to introduce opposing viewpoints.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally exhibits a high level of grammatical accuracy, with few errors. For example, the phrase "the purchases of items from famous brands have significantly increased" correctly uses the present perfect tense to indicate a recent trend. However, there are minor issues, such as the phrase "render it a progress," which should be corrected to "render it progress" as "progress" is an uncountable noun. Additionally, the use of commas is mostly appropriate, but there are instances where they could enhance clarity, such as before "especially young people" in the sentence discussing the social impacts of consumerism.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, pay attention to uncountable nouns and ensure that they are used correctly in context. Additionally, review punctuation rules, particularly regarding the use of commas in complex sentences. Practicing sentence diagramming can help clarify where additional punctuation may be needed for clarity. Furthermore, proofreading the essay for common grammatical pitfalls, such as subject-verb agreement and noun forms, can help catch minor errors before submission.

Overall, the essay effectively addresses the prompt with a strong command of grammatical range and accuracy, meriting a Band Score of 8. Continued practice in diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical precision will further enhance the quality of writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

In recent times, the purchases of items from well-known brands have significantly increased. This trend is attributed to globalization and improved living standards. Although it promotes materialism, the benefits, such as stimulating innovations and boosting productivity, render it a progress.

The globalization of commodities from large companies has benefited global consumers through improved logistics systems, customized services, and wider marketing networks. Historically, there were various barriers that deterred buyers from making their purchases, such as high shipping costs or limited access to information about the products. Many of these challenges have been addressed thanks to advancements in technology and increased exchanges among countries. Furthermore, with higher disposable incomes, many individuals nowadays can afford these items and utilize them as a means to demonstrate their social status, such as the iPhone 16 Pro Max. Despite the fact that its price is excessively high, it has still been one of the most sought-after smartphones on the market.

On the negative side, opponents of this development might point out its social impacts. It is sometimes argued that it influences consumers, particularly young individuals, to purchase certain products for a sense of achievement rather than their actual functional values. This extravagance is often compounded with ethical concerns, such as the tendency to judge others by their appearance, clothing, or possessions, and neglect spiritual values such as empathy, kindness, and compassion. On the positive side, the increase in the sales of these products has motivated enterprises to be innovative and productive with the aim of accommodating the various needs of customers. As a consequence, new products with additional features and impressive designs have been introduced, offering users greater conveniences and enriching their experiences.

In conclusion, globalization and a higher quality of life are the two reasons behind the trend that people buy more products from well-known brands. Although it presents certain drawbacks, particularly materialism, the influences on the economy make it a desirable development.