More people decided to eat healthy food and exercise more. What are the reasons for this trend and what can be done to encourage more people to eat healthier and excersie

It is widely known that the number of people who eat healthy food and do regular exercises is increasing. This essay will focus on the reasons for this trend and the visible ways to inspire people to have healthy habits.

On the one hand, there are numerous reasons why more and more people decide to eat healthy food and exercise regularly. Firstly, people have a tendency to follow the advice which is announced by experts in all fields. Therefore it can be said that these professional suggestions are the main factor, contributing to consuming healthy food and exercising regularly. Secondly, consuming unhealthy food and being a sedentary person are the main culprits leading to the death of millions of people, thus eating healthy food and doing exercises on a regular basis being priority for most people in the world.

Moreover, there are a variety of ways to increase the quantity of people who eat healthy food and engage in physical activities. The first way is that governments should organize press conferences or propaganda sessions about the merits of consuming healthy food and participating in physical activities. As a result, people will have more opportunities to access to depth-knowledge related to health, not least healthy food and regular exercises. Another way is that, authorities should encourage individuals to refer to health information which is studied by some experts in health to take care of themselves. By this way, they could create some good habits about eating food that are better for your health and engaging in more physical activities.

In conclusion, eating healthy food and doing exercises on a regular basis are derived from expert advice and the fear of death; therefore, to encourage this trend, governments should organize some lessons related to healthy food and regular exercises, simultaneously, inspire people to follow it.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"It is widely known" -> "It is commonly acknowledged"
Explanation: "It is commonly acknowledged" is a more formal and precise phrase that enhances the academic tone of the introduction.
"the number of people who eat healthy food and do regular exercises" -> "the increasing number of individuals who consume healthy diets and engage in regular physical activity"
Explanation: "Consume healthy diets and engage in regular physical activity" is more precise and formal, aligning better with academic language.
"This essay will focus on" -> "This essay will examine"
Explanation: "Examine" is a more academically appropriate verb than "focus on" for discussing complex topics like trends and their causes.
"the visible ways to inspire people" -> "the effective strategies to promote healthy habits"
Explanation: "Effective strategies to promote healthy habits" is more specific and formal, avoiding the vague term "visible ways."
"people have a tendency to follow the advice which is announced by experts" -> "individuals tend to adhere to the advice disseminated by experts"
Explanation: "Adhere to the advice disseminated by experts" is more precise and formal, improving the academic tone.
"Therefore it can be said that" -> "Therefore, it can be argued that"
Explanation: "Therefore, it can be argued that" is a more formal and academically appropriate transition, enhancing the persuasive quality of the argument.
"the main culprits leading to the death of millions of people" -> "primary causes of millions of deaths"
Explanation: "Primary causes of millions of deaths" is more direct and avoids the emotional connotation of "culprits," which is too informal for academic writing.
"eating healthy food and doing exercises on a regular basis being priority for most people" -> "healthy eating and regular exercise being a priority for most individuals"
Explanation: "Healthy eating and regular exercise being a priority for most individuals" is grammatically correct and more formal.
"The first way is that governments should organize" -> "One strategy is for governments to organize"
Explanation: "One strategy is for governments to organize" is more formal and avoids the informal construction "The first way is that."
"people will have more opportunities to access to depth-knowledge" -> "individuals will have greater access to in-depth knowledge"
Explanation: "Greater access to in-depth knowledge" is grammatically correct and more formal, improving the clarity and formality of the sentence.
"By this way" -> "By this means"
Explanation: "By this means" is the correct idiomatic expression for indicating a method or strategy, enhancing the formality of the text.
"eating food that are better for your health" -> "consuming foods that are beneficial to health"
Explanation: "Consuming foods that are beneficial to health" is more precise and formal, avoiding the awkward construction "eating food that are better for your health."
"doing exercises on a regular basis" -> "engaging in regular exercise"
Explanation: "Engaging in regular exercise" is a more concise and formal way to express the idea, suitable for academic writing.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both parts of the question by discussing the reasons for the trend of eating healthy food and exercising more, as well as providing suggestions to encourage more people to adopt these habits.
- How to improve: To further enhance the response, consider providing more specific examples or statistics to support the reasons mentioned and the strategies proposed.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position throughout, emphasizing the importance of healthy eating and regular exercise in improving overall health.
- How to improve: To strengthen the clarity of the position, ensure that each paragraph directly supports the main argument and avoids any ambiguity in the stance taken.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas logically and supports them with relevant explanations. For instance, the connection between expert advice and the fear of death as motivators for healthy habits is well-developed.
- How to improve: To enhance the development of ideas, consider providing more specific examples or case studies to illustrate the impact of expert advice and the consequences of not following healthy habits.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively stays on topic by discussing the reasons for the trend of healthy eating and exercise, as well as providing strategies to encourage more people to adopt these habits.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, ensure that each paragraph directly relates to the main topic and avoid introducing tangential ideas that do not contribute to the overall argument.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the prompt and effectively addresses the key components. To further improve, consider incorporating more specific examples, statistics, and case studies to support the arguments made and enhance the overall depth of analysis. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph directly supports the main argument and maintains a clear and consistent position throughout the essay.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a clear organization of information by presenting reasons for the trend of eating healthy food and exercising more in the first paragraph, followed by ways to encourage more people to adopt these habits in the subsequent paragraphs. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the topic, creating a logical flow of ideas.
- How to improve: To further enhance the logical organization, consider providing a stronger transition between paragraphs to ensure a seamless connection between ideas. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence to guide the reader through the essay.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas and arguments. Each paragraph focuses on a specific point, such as reasons for the trend or ways to encourage healthy habits, which helps in maintaining clarity and coherence.
- How to improve: To improve paragraphing, ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea. Additionally, consider using more varied sentence structures within paragraphs to enhance readability and engagement.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay utilizes cohesive devices such as transition words (e.g., firstly, moreover, in conclusion) to connect ideas within and between paragraphs. These devices help in creating a smooth flow of information and guiding the reader through the essay.
- How to improve: To further diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating synonyms or parallel structures to avoid repetition and add variety to the writing. Additionally, experiment with different types of cohesive devices, such as pronouns or conjunctions, to enhance coherence and cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary with some variety in terms used. For example, words like "tendency," "culprits," "priority," "propaganda," and "merits" show a decent attempt at using diverse vocabulary.
- How to improve: To enhance the range of vocabulary, consider incorporating more specific and nuanced terms related to healthy eating and exercise. For instance, instead of using general terms like "good habits," try incorporating terms like "nutritious habits" or "health-conscious behaviors" to add depth to your vocabulary.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some precision in vocabulary usage, such as in the phrases "the main culprits leading to the death of millions of people" and "merits of consuming healthy food." However, there are instances where vocabulary could be more precise, such as using "depth-knowledge" instead of "in-depth knowledge."
- How to improve: To improve precision, focus on selecting words that accurately convey your intended meaning. Avoid using vague terms and opt for more specific vocabulary choices. For example, instead of "some good habits," consider using "beneficial dietary practices" or "effective exercise routines" for clearer communication.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a satisfactory level of spelling accuracy with only minor errors observed. For instance, "excersie" should be corrected to "exercise."
- How to improve: To further enhance spelling accuracy, consider utilizing spell-check tools or proofreading your work carefully before submission. Additionally, familiarize yourself with common spelling rules and patterns to avoid errors in the future.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For example, "It is widely known that the number of people who eat healthy food and do regular exercises is increasing" (complex sentence), "Firstly, people have a tendency to follow the advice which is announced by experts in all fields" (compound sentence), and "Another way is that authorities should encourage individuals to refer to health information which is studied by some experts in health to take care of themselves" (complex sentence with embedded clause).
- How to improve: To further enhance the variety of sentence structures, consider incorporating more complex sentences with subordinate clauses to add depth and complexity to your writing. Additionally, try using rhetorical questions, parallel structures, and varied sentence beginnings to engage the reader and create a more dynamic essay.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a good level of grammatical accuracy, with only minor errors in subject-verb agreement and article usage. For instance, "there are numerous reasons why more and more people decide to eat healthy food and exercise regularly" (subject-verb agreement error with "decide" and "exercise"). Punctuation is used effectively to separate ideas and clarify meaning, such as in the sentence "Firstly, people have a tendency to follow the advice which is announced by experts in all fields."
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and article usage. Proofreading your work carefully can help you catch and correct these minor errors. Additionally, consider using more complex punctuation marks like semicolons and em dashes to vary your sentence structures and add clarity to your writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

It is commonly acknowledged that the increasing number of individuals who consume healthy diets and engage in regular physical activity is on the rise. This essay will examine the effective strategies to promote healthy habits among the populace.

On one hand, individuals tend to adhere to the advice disseminated by experts in various fields. Therefore, it can be argued that professional suggestions play a significant role in promoting the consumption of foods that are beneficial to health and engaging in regular exercise. Additionally, the primary causes of millions of deaths are often linked to consuming unhealthy foods and leading a sedentary lifestyle, making healthy eating and regular exercise a priority for most individuals worldwide.

One strategy is for governments to organize press conferences or propaganda sessions to highlight the benefits of healthy eating and physical activities. Through these initiatives, individuals will have greater access to in-depth knowledge regarding health, particularly in terms of consuming foods that are beneficial to health and engaging in regular exercise. Another effective approach is for authorities to encourage individuals to seek health information from reputable sources, such as experts in the field, to foster good habits related to healthy eating and physical activities.

In conclusion, the trend towards consuming healthy food and engaging in regular exercise stems from expert advice and the awareness of the consequences of an unhealthy lifestyle. To further encourage this positive trend, governments should organize educational sessions on healthy eating and regular exercise, while also motivating individuals to adopt and maintain these healthy habits.