Most large companies nowadays operate multi-nationally. To what extent do multinational companies have responsibility toward local communities in which they operate?

In the modern society, more and more large-sized enterprises often base their offices in numerous countries. Hence, some individuals argue that these multinational companies should consider to be responsible for local communities where they operate. For my perspective, I would agree on the grounds that these facilities can strengthen communal bonds and promote a company’s image in a positive light.

On the one hand, the degree of duty needs to be based on organizations’ abilitíe because they need to gain profit in order to survive in a competitive marketplace. It is unreasonable to expect significant monetary rewards from large corporations because not all of them are well-known or financially successful. If companies want to remain competitive, they must spend their budget on upgrading and innovations. Moreover, a main goal to set up a company is earning money through satisfying customers’ demands. Thus, the local communities have to fulfill conditions such as qualification, working experience and intensive soft skills to make sure the casual development and work productivity of the business.

On the other hand, investing in local areas is the efficient way to promote their reputation and growth in the long-term. First of all, these companies should sponsor local people such as scholarship for students and comprehensive training for employees. By practicing them, the relationship between enterprises and these people can be improved for a long time; in turn, some individuals who are trained tend to contribute to these companies. Furthermore, it can create positive images and spread companies’ reputation internationally and domestically. These supports foster the perception that their sponsors are upholding their public pledges of social responsibility and supporting the local community. As a result, trust between the locals and these big corporations might increase. Secondly, they can invest in public infrastructure such as improving traffic facilities, daily healthcare or enhancing citizens’ education through offering some modern equipment and educational resources.

In conclusion, balancing international development and domestical responsibilities can promote these companies’ prestige in the long-term.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"more and more large-sized enterprises often base their offices in numerous countries" -> "an increasing number of large enterprises frequently establish offices in multiple countries"
Explanation: "more and more" can be replaced with "an increasing number of" for a more formal tone. "Base their offices" can be substituted with "establish offices," and "numerous countries" can be replaced with "multiple countries" for clarity and conciseness.
"Hence, some individuals argue that these multinational companies should consider to be responsible" -> "Consequently, some argue that multinational companies should be accountable"
Explanation: "Hence" can be replaced with "Consequently" for a smoother transition. "Consider to be responsible" can be simplified to "be accountable" for clearer expression and adherence to formal language.
"For my perspective, I would agree on the grounds" -> "From my perspective, I concur based on the premise"
Explanation: "For my perspective" can be changed to "From my perspective" for better phrasing. "I would agree" can be replaced with "I concur" for a stronger, more assertive statement. "On the grounds" can be substituted with "based on the premise" for precision and formality.
"On the one hand, the degree of duty needs to be based on organizations’ abilitíe because they need to gain profit" -> "On one hand, the extent of obligation should correlate with the organizations’ capabilities, as profitability is imperative"
Explanation: "On the one hand" can be simplified to "On one hand" for clarity. "Degree of duty" can be replaced with "extent of obligation" for a more precise term. "Abilitíe" should be corrected to "abilities." "Gain profit" can be changed to "profitability is imperative" for a more formal expression.
"significant monetary rewards" -> "substantial financial contributions"
Explanation: "Monetary rewards" can be replaced with "financial contributions" for a more formal tone while maintaining the meaning.
"casual development" -> "smooth development"
Explanation: "Casual development" could be misinterpreted, "smooth development" provides a clearer description of what is intended.
"Furthermore, it can create positive images" -> "Moreover, it can cultivate a positive image"
Explanation: "Furthermore" can be replaced with "Moreover" for variety in transition words. "Create positive images" can be changed to "cultivate a positive image" for a more formal and precise expression.
"spread companies’ reputation internationally and domestically" -> "enhance the companies’ reputation both internationally and domestically"
Explanation: "Spread" can be replaced with "enhance" for a stronger and more precise verb choice. "Companies’ reputation" can be adjusted to "the companies’ reputation" for clarity.
"domestical responsibilities" -> "domestic responsibilities"
Explanation: "Domestical" is not a standard English term; "domestic" is the correct adjective form.
"In conclusion, balancing international development and domestical responsibilities can promote these companies’ prestige in the long-term." -> "In conclusion, striking a balance between international expansion and domestic obligations can enhance the long-term prestige of these companies."
Explanation: The revised sentence maintains the formal tone while providing a clearer and more concise expression. "Balancing" is replaced with "striking a balance" for a stronger verb choice. "Promote" is substituted with "enhance" for a more precise term. "Domestical" is corrected to "domestic," and "prestige" is clarified with "long-term prestige" for specificity.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Task Response: 6

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay adequately addresses all parts of the prompt. It acknowledges the argument that multinational companies should have responsibilities towards local communities where they operate and presents a clear stance supporting this idea.
- How to improve: To enhance the response in this aspect, consider providing more depth in discussing the specific responsibilities that multinational companies should have towards local communities. Additionally, ensure that each point made directly relates back to the prompt to strengthen the cohesion and relevance of the argument.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position throughout, supporting the idea that multinational companies should be responsible for local communities where they operate. The stance is evident from the introduction through to the conclusion.
- How to improve: To further improve clarity and consistency, ensure that each paragraph directly reinforces the main argument and that all examples and explanations provided align with this central position. This will help avoid any ambiguity or confusion for the reader.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas but could benefit from further development and support. It introduces arguments regarding the limitations of expecting significant monetary rewards from multinational companies and the benefits of investing in local communities for long-term reputation and growth. However, some ideas lack elaboration, and examples are somewhat limited.
- How to improve: Strengthen the essay by providing more detailed explanations for each point presented. Include specific examples or case studies to illustrate the impact of multinational companies’ actions on local communities. Additionally, consider addressing potential counterarguments to further bolster the argument’s credibility and depth.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic by discussing the responsibilities of multinational companies towards local communities. However, there are instances where the discussion could be more focused, particularly in the second paragraph where the connection to the main argument is slightly tangential.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, ensure that every paragraph directly contributes to the overarching argument outlined in the introduction. Avoid veering off into tangential discussions and instead, prioritize coherence and relevance in each paragraph to strengthen the overall structure of the essay.

Overall, while the essay effectively addresses the prompt and maintains a clear position, there is room for improvement in developing and supporting ideas more comprehensively while maintaining a tighter focus on the main argument. By providing more depth, specific examples, and staying closely aligned with the central thesis, the essay could achieve an even stronger score for task response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a generally logical organization of information. It begins with an introduction that outlines the argument, followed by two main body paragraphs presenting different perspectives on the issue. Each paragraph focuses on one aspect of the argument: the challenges faced by multinational companies in fulfilling responsibilities, and the potential benefits of investing in local communities. The conclusion summarizes the main points effectively.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, ensure smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs. Use clear topic sentences to guide the reader through each paragraph’s main idea, and consider providing more explicit connections between ideas to strengthen coherence.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs paragraphs effectively, with each paragraph dedicated to a distinct aspect of the argument. However, there are instances where paragraph breaks could be used more strategically to improve clarity and coherence. For example, the second paragraph could be divided into two separate paragraphs, one focusing on the challenges faced by multinational companies and the other on the potential benefits of investing in local communities.
- How to improve: Review the essay to identify points where separate paragraphs could enhance clarity and organization. Aim for each paragraph to address a single main idea, and use transitions to guide the reader between paragraphs smoothly.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs a limited range of cohesive devices to connect ideas and enhance coherence. Examples include transitional phrases such as "On the one hand" and "On the other hand," which help to signal shifts between different arguments. Additionally, pronouns like "these" and "it" are used to refer back to previously mentioned concepts, contributing to cohesion.
- How to improve: To diversify cohesive devices, consider incorporating a wider range of transitional words and phrases, such as "Furthermore," "Moreover," "In conclusion," etc., to indicate logical relationships between ideas. Additionally, use cohesive devices like pronouns, conjunctions, and parallel structures consistently throughout the essay to improve clarity and coherence.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable effort to utilize a diverse range of vocabulary throughout. For instance, phrases such as "strengthen communal bonds," "financially successful," "satisfying customers’ demands," and "promote their reputation" showcase lexical variety. However, some phrases like "casual development" may not accurately convey the intended meaning and could be replaced with more precise language.
- How to improve: To further enhance lexical resource, consider incorporating specialized terminology related to corporate social responsibility and business ethics. Additionally, aim for more nuanced vocabulary choices to express ideas with greater clarity and sophistication. For example, instead of "financially successful," one could use "economically prosperous," and instead of "strengthen communal bonds," consider "foster community cohesion."
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally employs vocabulary with moderate precision, but there are instances where more precise word choices could enhance clarity and accuracy. For example, phrases like "casual development" and "domestical responsibilities" appear imprecise and could be substituted with clearer terms.
- How to improve: To improve precision, strive for exactness in word choice to avoid ambiguity or confusion. Instead of "casual development," consider using "sustainable growth" or "organic development." Similarly, replace "domestical responsibilities" with "domestic responsibilities" for accuracy.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates adequate spelling accuracy overall, with most words spelled correctly. However, there are a few minor spelling errors such as "abilitíe" (abilities) and "domestical" (domestic) that detract slightly from the overall coherence and professionalism of the writing.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, consider employing spell-check tools or proofreading techniques to catch and correct errors before submission. Additionally, reviewing commonly misspelled words and practicing spelling exercises can further improve proficiency in this area.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. However, there is a tendency towards simpler structures, with limited use of complex sentence structures. For instance, there’s a reliance on basic subject-verb-object constructions without much variation. Additionally, there are instances of awkward phrasing and repetition, which affect the overall flow and clarity of the essay.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety and effectiveness of sentence structures, the writer should incorporate more complex sentences by including subordinate clauses, relative clauses, and participial phrases. This can add depth and sophistication to the writing. Additionally, revising for clarity and conciseness can help eliminate redundancy and awkward phrasing, thus improving the overall coherence of the essay.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: While the essay generally maintains grammatical coherence, there are notable instances of grammatical errors and punctuation inaccuracies throughout the text. For example, there are errors in subject-verb agreement ("organizations’ abilitíe"), verb tense consistency ("they must spend their budget"), and article usage ("the local communities have to fulfill conditions"). Punctuation errors include missing commas in compound sentences and incorrect apostrophe placement ("companys’ reputation").
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should pay closer attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and article usage. Proofreading for punctuation errors, particularly commas in compound sentences and apostrophe placement for possessives, is crucial. Additionally, practicing sentence structure variation can help in avoiding repetitive errors and improving overall grammatical proficiency. Consulting grammar resources and seeking feedback from peers or instructors can also be beneficial in identifying and correcting recurring mistakes.

Bài sửa mẫu

In today’s world, an increasing number of large enterprises frequently establish offices in multiple countries. Consequently, some argue that multinational companies should be accountable for the local communities where they operate. From my perspective, I concur based on the premise that such involvement can strengthen communal bonds and enhance a company’s positive image.

On one hand, the extent of obligation should correlate with the organizations’ capabilities, as profitability is imperative for their survival in a competitive marketplace. It is unreasonable to expect substantial financial contributions from all large corporations, as not all are equally financially successful or well-known. If companies wish to remain competitive, they must allocate their budgets toward upgrading and innovating. Moreover, the primary goal of establishing a company is to earn money by satisfying customers’ demands. Therefore, local communities must meet certain qualifications, possess relevant work experience, and exhibit strong soft skills to ensure the smooth development and productivity of the business.

On the other hand, investing in local areas can effectively enhance companies’ reputation and long-term growth. Firstly, these companies can sponsor local initiatives such as scholarships for students and comprehensive training programs for employees. By doing so, they can improve their relationship with local communities over the long term, as individuals who receive training are more likely to contribute positively to these companies. Moreover, such investments can cultivate a positive image and enhance the companies’ reputation both internationally and domestically. These contributions reinforce the perception that these companies are fulfilling their public pledges of social responsibility and supporting the local community, thereby increasing trust between locals and large corporations. Secondly, they can invest in public infrastructure, such as improving transportation facilities, providing better healthcare services, or enhancing educational opportunities through the provision of modern equipment and educational resources.

In conclusion, striking a balance between international expansion and domestic obligations can enhance the long-term prestige of these companies. By responsibly engaging with local communities, multinational companies can build stronger relationships, improve their public image, and contribute to the overall well-being of the societies in which they operate.