Most people do not care enough about environmental issues. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Most people do not care enough about environmental issues. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Environmental remains a popular and ongoing discussion point. While it is true that the majority of individuals show a lack of substantial interest or concern when it comes to natural issues, there are also a number of who actively engage in environmental protection campaigns and are highly aware of these issues.Although I agree with this extent, I believe that most young citizen nowadays have considered on the climate change and in this essay I am going to examine the reason.
On the one hand, various urban areas have witnessed the deterioration of weather patterns by the failure of the government in taking the right actions and lack of individuals’ contribution. For example, in Hanoi, Vietnam, there are some regions where it is significant impact in people’ health and interrupt the traffic because air pollution has been raised too high. Therefore, they ought to wear marks and reduce go outside. Not only air pollution but also several natural disaster such floods, droughts,…
On the other hand, there is a global trend towards increased awareness and engagement in environmental sustainability efforts.This trend is evident through various actions, such as adopting renewable energy, reducing waste,… For instance, media coverage increases, educate campaigns on climate change, and also some environmental protection movements such as the Earth day. As a result, there are significant beneficial impacts on environment such as the increased in using renewable energy, decrease consuming plastics, as more people are choosing sustainable alternatives. These efforts contribute to a healthier planet and a more sustainable future for coming generations.
In conclusion, while some actions have had a significant impact on conservation issue, they won’t help if nations don´t take appropriate measures to protect environment world.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

1. "Environmental remains a popular and ongoing discussion point." -> "Environmental issues remain a popular and ongoing topic of discussion."
   Explanation: Adding "issues" clarifies the subject, and "topic of discussion" is a more formal and precise term than "discussion point."

2. "the majority of individuals show a lack of substantial interest or concern" -> "the majority of individuals demonstrate a lack of substantial interest or concern"
   Explanation: "Demonstrate" is more formal and precise than "show," aligning better with academic style.

3. "there are also a number of who actively engage" -> "there are also many individuals who actively engage"
   Explanation: "Many individuals" is more specific and formal than "a number of," and "who" is corrected for grammatical accuracy.

4. "most young citizen nowadays have considered on the climate change" -> "most young citizens today are considering climate change"
   Explanation: "Are considering" corrects the grammatical error and "today" is more appropriate than "nowadays" in formal writing. "Citizens" should be plural to match the context.

5. "in this essay I am going to examine the reason" -> "in this essay, I will examine the reasons"
   Explanation: "Will examine" is more assertive and formal than "am going to examine," and "reasons" is plural to match the context.

6. "various urban areas have witnessed the deterioration of weather patterns" -> "various urban areas have experienced deteriorating weather patterns"
   Explanation: "Experienced" is more precise and formal than "witnessed," and "deteriorating" is a more accurate description of ongoing changes.

7. "the failure of the government in taking the right actions" -> "the government’s failure to take appropriate action"
   Explanation: "Government’s failure to take appropriate action" is more concise and formal, improving the flow and clarity.

8. "lack of individuals’ contribution" -> "lack of individual contributions"
   Explanation: "Individual contributions" is grammatically correct and more formal than "individual’s contribution."

9. "it is significant impact in people’ health and interrupt the traffic" -> "it has a significant impact on people’s health and disrupts traffic"
   Explanation: "Has a significant impact on" corrects the grammatical error, and "disrupts" is the correct verb for describing interference with traffic.

10. "they ought to wear marks and reduce go outside" -> "they should wear masks and reduce their outdoor activities"
    Explanation: "Wear masks" corrects the typo, and "reduce their outdoor activities" is a clearer and more formal expression than "reduce go outside."

11. "several natural disaster such floods, droughts,… " -> "several natural disasters, such as floods and droughts"
    Explanation: "Disasters" should be plural to match the context, and "such as" is more formal than "such."

12. "there is a global trend towards increased awareness and engagement in environmental sustainability efforts" -> "there is a global trend towards increased awareness and engagement in environmental sustainability initiatives"
    Explanation: "Initiatives" is a more specific and formal term than "efforts."

13. "adopting renewable energy, reducing waste,… " -> "adopting renewable energy and reducing waste"
    Explanation: Adding "and" corrects the list structure, making it grammatically correct and clearer.

14. "the increased in using renewable energy" -> "the increase in the use of renewable energy"
    Explanation: "Increase in the use of" corrects the grammatical structure and is more formal.

15. "decrease consuming plastics" -> "reduce plastic consumption"
    Explanation: "Reduce plastic consumption" is a more formal and precise way to express the idea.

16. "nations don´t take appropriate measures to protect environment world" -> "nations do not take appropriate measures to protect the environment globally"
    Explanation: "Do not" corrects the contraction, and "globally" is more precise than "world," which is vague and informal in this context.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

• Answer All Parts of the Question:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by acknowledging both sides of the argument regarding people’s concern for environmental issues. The writer states that while many individuals lack concern, there is also a notable segment of the population that is actively engaged in environmental protection. However, the response could be more balanced; the argument leans slightly towards the acknowledgment of the lack of concern without fully exploring the extent of engagement in environmental issues. The phrase "I agree with this extent" is vague and could be more explicitly defined.
  • How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should clearly delineate the extent of agreement or disagreement with the statement. A more structured approach could involve explicitly stating the degree of agreement in the introduction and summarizing it in the conclusion, ensuring that each part of the question is thoroughly explored.

• Present a Clear Position Throughout:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a position that acknowledges both the lack of concern and the growing awareness of environmental issues. However, the position is somewhat muddled by the phrasing and structure. For instance, the statement "I believe that most young citizen nowadays have considered on the climate change" is unclear and detracts from the overall clarity of the argument.
  • How to improve: To maintain a clearer position, the writer should use more definitive language and ensure that each paragraph reinforces the main argument. Clear topic sentences that reflect the writer’s stance can help guide the reader and maintain focus throughout the essay.

• Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas related to environmental issues, such as air pollution and the impact of government action, but these ideas are not fully developed or supported with sufficient detail. For example, the mention of "various urban areas" lacks specific examples or data that would strengthen the argument. Additionally, the transition between ideas is sometimes abrupt, which can confuse the reader.
  • How to improve: To improve the development of ideas, the writer should aim to provide more specific examples and elaborate on them. For instance, when discussing air pollution in Hanoi, including statistics or studies that illustrate the severity of the issue would provide stronger support. Furthermore, ensuring smooth transitions between ideas can enhance the overall flow of the essay.

• Stay on Topic:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, discussing environmental issues and public concern. However, there are moments where the focus shifts, such as when discussing "some actions have had a significant impact on conservation issue" without clearly linking it back to the main argument about public concern. The conclusion also introduces new ideas rather than summarizing the main points.
  • How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that each paragraph ties back to the central thesis. The conclusion should succinctly summarize the main arguments presented in the essay without introducing new concepts. A clear reiteration of the position taken in the introduction can help reinforce the topic throughout the essay.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and presents relevant ideas, improvements in clarity, structure, and support for arguments would enhance the overall effectiveness and coherence of the response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

• Organize Information Logically:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear argument regarding the varying levels of concern for environmental issues among individuals. It begins with an introduction that outlines the writer’s stance, followed by two main body paragraphs that discuss both sides of the argument. However, the logical flow could be improved; for instance, the transition between the two body paragraphs feels abrupt. The first paragraph discusses the lack of concern, while the second shifts to the positive actions without a clear linking statement that ties the two ideas together.
  • How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using transitional phrases that explicitly connect the ideas between paragraphs. For example, after discussing the lack of concern, a sentence like "However, it is important to recognize that there is a growing movement towards environmental awareness" would help bridge the two points more effectively.

• Use Paragraphs:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs appropriately, with a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the argument. However, the first body paragraph could be more focused, as it combines several ideas (government failure, individual contribution, and health impacts) without fully developing each point. This could lead to confusion for the reader about the main argument of that paragraph.
  • How to improve: To improve paragraph structure, ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea supported by relevant examples. For instance, the first body paragraph could be split into two: one focusing on government actions and the other on individual contributions. This would allow for a more in-depth exploration of each point.

• Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "on the one hand" and "on the other hand," which help to delineate contrasting points. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between sentences could be strengthened. For example, the phrase "there are also a number of who actively engage" is awkward and lacks clarity, which detracts from the overall coherence.
  • How to improve: To diversify and effectively use cohesive devices, consider incorporating a wider range of linking words and phrases, such as "furthermore," "in addition," or "conversely." Additionally, ensure that all sentences are grammatically correct and clear. For instance, revising "there are also a number of who actively engage" to "there are also a number of individuals who actively engage" would improve clarity and cohesion.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a coherent argument, enhancing the logical flow, refining paragraph structure, and diversifying cohesive devices will contribute to achieving a higher band score in Coherence and Cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

• Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary related to environmental issues, such as "environmental protection campaigns," "climate change," and "renewable energy." However, the vocabulary tends to be somewhat repetitive and lacks variation. For instance, the phrase "environmental issues" appears multiple times without synonyms or alternative expressions. Additionally, terms like "natural issues" and "significant impact" could be replaced with more precise or varied vocabulary to enhance the essay’s richness.
  • How to improve: To improve lexical range, the writer should incorporate synonyms and related terms. For example, instead of repeating "environmental issues," they could use "ecological concerns," "environmental challenges," or "sustainability issues." Keeping a thesaurus handy while writing can help diversify word choice.

• Use Vocabulary Precisely:

  • Detailed explanation: There are instances of imprecise vocabulary usage in the essay. For example, the phrase "considered on the climate change" is awkward and incorrect; it should be "considered climate change" or "thought about climate change." Additionally, the term "marks" in "they ought to wear marks" is likely a typo for "masks," which alters the intended meaning. The phrase "the deterioration of weather patterns" could also be more accurately expressed as "the deterioration of environmental conditions."
  • How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should focus on context and ensure that words are used correctly. Proofreading for clarity and correctness is essential. Utilizing grammar and vocabulary resources can help clarify the correct usage of phrases and terms.

• Use Correct Spelling:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "marks" instead of "masks," "droughts,…" which is incomplete, and "the increased in using renewable energy," where "increased" should be "increase." These errors detract from the overall clarity and professionalism of the writing.
  • How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular spelling practice and utilize spell-check tools. Additionally, reading the essay aloud can help catch errors that might be overlooked during silent reading. Keeping a list of commonly misspelled words and reviewing them can also be beneficial.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a foundational understanding of vocabulary related to environmental issues, it requires improvement in range, precision, and spelling to achieve a higher band score. Focusing on these areas will enhance the overall quality and clarity of the writing.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

• Use a Wide Range of Structures:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For example, the opening sentence, "Environmental remains a popular and ongoing discussion point," is straightforward but lacks complexity. The use of phrases like "there are also a number of who actively engage" shows an attempt at variety. However, many sentences are either overly simplistic or awkwardly constructed, such as "I believe that most young citizen nowadays have considered on the climate change," which lacks clarity and grammatical correctness.
  • How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, the writer should practice incorporating more complex sentences that combine clauses effectively. For instance, instead of saying, "there are also a number of who actively engage," the writer could use a relative clause: "there are also a number of individuals who actively engage in environmental protection campaigns." Additionally, varying the sentence beginnings and using transitional phrases can help create a more engaging flow.

• Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from its overall clarity. For example, "the majority of individuals show a lack of substantial interest or concern when it comes to natural issues" is a well-structured sentence, but it is followed by a confusing phrase: "there are also a number of who actively engage." The phrase "most young citizen nowadays have considered on the climate change" contains subject-verb agreement errors ("citizen" should be "citizens") and incorrect preposition use ("considered on" should be "considered"). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with commas, which are often missing before conjunctions in compound sentences.
  • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should review subject-verb agreement rules and ensure that plural nouns match with plural verbs. They should also focus on the correct use of prepositions and practice constructing sentences that clearly convey their intended meaning. For punctuation, the writer should familiarize themselves with the rules regarding comma usage, especially in complex sentences. Reading the essay aloud can help identify awkward phrasing and punctuation errors.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a basic understanding of grammatical structures, there is significant room for improvement in both the variety of sentence structures and the accuracy of grammar and punctuation. Focusing on these areas will help elevate the writing to a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

Environmental issues remain a popular and ongoing topic of discussion. While it is true that the majority of individuals demonstrate a lack of substantial interest or concern when it comes to natural issues, there are also a number of individuals who actively engage in environmental protection campaigns and are highly aware of these issues. Although I agree with this statement to some extent, I believe that most young citizens today are considering climate change, and in this essay, I will examine the reasons.

On the one hand, various urban areas have witnessed the deterioration of weather patterns due to the government’s failure to take appropriate action and a lack of individual contributions. For example, in Hanoi, Vietnam, there are some regions where there is a significant impact on people’s health and disruptions to traffic because air pollution has risen too high. Therefore, they ought to wear masks and reduce their outdoor activities. Not only air pollution but also several natural disasters, such as floods and droughts, are concerning.

On the other hand, there is a global trend towards increased awareness and engagement in environmental sustainability initiatives. This trend is evident through various actions, such as adopting renewable energy and reducing waste. For instance, media coverage has increased, educational campaigns on climate change have been launched, and there are also some environmental protection movements, such as Earth Day. As a result, there are significant beneficial impacts on the environment, such as the increase in the use of renewable energy and a reduction in plastic consumption, as more people are choosing sustainable alternatives. These efforts contribute to a healthier planet and a more sustainable future for coming generations.

In conclusion, while some actions have had a significant impact on conservation issues, they won’t help if nations do not take appropriate measures to protect the environment globally.