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Most people do not care enough about environmental issues. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

Most people do not care enough about environmental issues. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own
knowledge or experience.
Write at least 250 words.

The persistently unstable state of the environment for decades has drawn attention from the citizens of Earth. Initially, nature’s plea was heeded earnestly. However, as time went by, the awareness waned or became pretentious. Thus, this essay will elaborate on the concept of highlighting people’s lack of acknowledgment of the environmental issues, which was stated, for it somewhat agrees with the idea.
The authorities and governments are often seen as the executive conductors for every campaign that pertains to our surroundings’ preservation. This fosters a misconception that the responsibilities are not up to them. As a result, the process of protecting the environment occurs ineffectively and in a disjointed manner.
Worse than that, many tend to act as if they are committed to enhancing the habitability of the world and end up subconsciously perceiving it as mundane. This is also the answer to why they don’t seem to genuinely see the current situation, but counter this by consuming detrimental products to the environment. Especially in some countries, even though there are signs against littering accompanied by a fine warning, people would discard their trash with impunity.
Nonetheless, the amount of people who are indifferent about our planet can not constitute a majority. Young people are fond of environmental problems more than ever, as that is included in their curriculum, and represents an integral component to advertisements nowadays. Hence, the widespread attempt to save energy, consume eco-friendly products, as well as keep the world unpolluted through active engagement in organizations is abundant. Funds and campaigns akin to the recent “Oral” project by the renowned artist Bjork, which is pejorative towards intensive salmon farming causing harm to the aquatic environment, have been actively put into practice for years. This is, by no means superficial.
In summary, some individuals don’t take environmental protection seriously, but they do not represent the whole as the ones who truly care are outnumbering them. The world would have been better, if there had been no polarized factions, and we had been conscientious altogether.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

  1. "nature’s plea was heeded earnestly" -> "environmental concerns were initially taken seriously"
    Explanation: Replacing "nature’s plea was heeded earnestly" with "environmental concerns were initially taken seriously" offers a more formal and precise expression, avoiding the anthropomorphism present in the original phrase.

  2. "the concept of highlighting people’s lack of acknowledgment" -> "the idea of underscoring the public’s insufficient recognition"
    Explanation: Substituting "the concept of highlighting people’s lack of acknowledgment" with "the idea of underscoring the public’s insufficient recognition" introduces a more sophisticated language, aligning with academic style.

  3. "executive conductors" -> "key players"
    Explanation: Changing "executive conductors" to "key players" maintains formality while providing a clearer and more standard term for entities overseeing environmental campaigns.

  4. "occurs ineffectively and in a disjointed manner" -> "takes place with inefficacy and disarray"
    Explanation: Replacing "occurs ineffectively and in a disjointed manner" with "takes place with inefficacy and disarray" enhances the precision of the statement while preserving a formal tone.

  5. "many tend to act as if they are committed" -> "a significant number often behave as though they are dedicated"
    Explanation: Substituting "many tend to act as if they are committed" with "a significant number often behave as though they are dedicated" introduces a more nuanced and precise expression, aligning with academic language.

  6. "subconsciously perceiving it as mundane" -> "unconsciously trivializing it"
    Explanation: Changing "subconsciously perceiving it as mundane" to "unconsciously trivializing it" maintains the formality of the statement while providing a more accurate representation of the behavior described.

  7. "counter this by consuming detrimental products" -> "offset this by using environmentally harmful products"
    Explanation: Replacing "counter this by consuming detrimental products" with "offset this by using environmentally harmful products" offers a more precise and formal description of the action.

  8. "even though there are signs against littering accompanied by a fine warning" -> "despite the presence of signs prohibiting littering, often accompanied by the threat of fines"
    Explanation: Substituting "even though there are signs against littering accompanied by a fine warning" with "despite the presence of signs prohibiting littering, often accompanied by the threat of fines" provides a more detailed and formal expression.

  9. "can not constitute" -> "cannot constitute"
    Explanation: Correcting "can not constitute" to "cannot constitute" adheres to proper grammar and maintains a formal tone.

  10. "Funds and campaigns akin to the recent ‘Oral’ project" -> "Initiatives and campaigns similar to the recent ‘Oral’ project"
    Explanation: Changing "Funds and campaigns akin to the recent ‘Oral’ project" to "Initiatives and campaigns similar to the recent ‘Oral’ project" introduces a more appropriate and formal term, ‘initiatives,’ in place of ‘funds.’

  11. "This is, by no means superficial." -> "This is, without a doubt, substantial."
    Explanation: Substituting "This is, by no means superficial." with "This is, without a doubt, substantial." provides a stronger and more formal conclusion to the paragraph.

  12. "some individuals don’t take environmental protection seriously" -> "some individuals do not prioritize environmental conservation"
    Explanation: Changing "some individuals don’t take environmental protection seriously" to "some individuals do not prioritize environmental conservation" offers a more precise and formal expression.

  13. "if there had been no polarized factions" -> "had there been no polarized factions"
    Explanation: Correcting "if there had been no polarized factions" to "had there been no polarized factions" adheres to proper grammar and maintains a formal tone.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

  1. Quoted text: "The persistently unstable state of the environment for decades has drawn attention from the citizens of Earth. Initially, nature’s plea was heeded earnestly. However, as time went by, the awareness waned or became pretentious. Thus, this essay will elaborate on the concept of highlighting people’s lack of acknowledgment of the environmental issues, which was stated, for it somewhat agrees with the idea."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: While your introduction provides a general overview of the topic, it lacks a clear and concise thesis statement that explicitly states your position on the statement. It is essential to clearly express whether you agree, disagree, or partially agree with the idea that most people do not care enough about environmental issues. Consider rephrasing to make your stance more explicit. For example, you could say, "This essay will argue that, to a certain extent, people do not adequately acknowledge environmental issues, supporting this position with relevant examples."
    • Improved example: "This essay argues that, to a certain extent, people fail to adequately acknowledge environmental issues, a perspective supported by various examples from daily life."
  2. Quoted text: "The authorities and governments are often seen as the executive conductors for every campaign that pertains to our surroundings’ preservation. This fosters a misconception that the responsibilities are not up to them. As a result, the process of protecting the environment occurs ineffectively and in a disjointed manner."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: Your argument about the misconception regarding the responsibility of authorities is relevant, but it lacks depth and specificity. To strengthen your point, provide concrete examples or reasons explaining why this misconception exists and how it hinders environmental protection efforts. Additionally, ensure that your ideas are presented in a logical and organized manner to improve overall coherence.
    • Improved example: "Furthermore, the common perception that authorities bear the sole responsibility for environmental preservation contributes to a misguided understanding. For instance, the public often overlooks their role in supporting and participating in environmental initiatives, resulting in disjointed efforts and ineffective outcomes."
  3. Quoted text: "Worse than that, many tend to act as if they are committed to enhancing the habitability of the world and end up subconsciously perceiving it as mundane. This is also the answer to why they don’t seem to genuinely see the current situation, but counter this by consuming detrimental products to the environment. Especially in some countries, even though there are signs against littering accompanied by a fine warning, people would discard their trash with impunity."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: While you provide examples of people’s contradictory actions, the connection to the main thesis could be clearer. Make sure to explicitly link these examples back to the central idea of people’s lack of genuine concern for environmental issues. Additionally, consider expanding on these examples to illustrate the broader impact of such behaviors on the environment.
    • Improved example: "Moreover, individuals often display a paradoxical behavior by outwardly expressing commitment to environmental enhancement while unconsciously trivializing its importance. This discrepancy is evident in their consumption patterns, wherein they inadvertently contribute to environmental degradation. For instance, despite awareness campaigns against littering, some individuals persist in discarding trash without considering the consequences, reflecting a disconnect between professed values and actual behavior."

Overall, your essay addresses the task, but improvements in thesis clarity, depth of examples, and organizational coherence are needed to enhance your Task Response score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates coherence and cohesion to a moderate extent. The organization of ideas follows a discernible progression, addressing the lack of acknowledgment of environmental issues by various groups. Paragraphs attempt to focus on specific aspects, but the logical flow within some sentences and between paragraphs is occasionally disrupted, affecting overall cohesion. Cohesive devices are utilized effectively in parts, yet there are instances where their use appears somewhat mechanical, impacting the fluidity of the argument.

How to Improve:

  1. Structure and Logical Flow: Enhance the connectivity between sentences and paragraphs to ensure a smoother transition of ideas. Use clear topic sentences to introduce and guide each paragraph.
  2. Cohesive Devices: Maintain consistency in the use of cohesive devices to avoid occasional mechanical use, ensuring they truly contribute to the coherence of the text.
  3. Paragraphing: Ensure logical and consistent paragraphing, focusing on one central idea per paragraph, reinforcing the essay’s coherence.

This essay demonstrates an understanding of the topic and presents viewpoints coherently, yet refinements in structure and cohesive devices could strengthen its overall coherence and cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary throughout its content. There is evidence of a varied lexicon, and the writer attempts to utilize less common lexical items. The vocabulary, overall, contributes to conveying precise meanings. The writer uses language skillfully, albeit with occasional inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. There are some examples of less common vocabulary items used with awareness of style and collocation. However, there are occasional errors in word choice, spelling, and word formation, which slightly hinder the overall effectiveness and fluency of expression. The essay does showcase an understanding of environmental issues and attempts to articulate thoughts effectively using a diverse range of vocabulary.

How to improve:
To improve the lexical resource and attain a higher band score, strive for greater accuracy in word choice, collocation, and spelling. Proofreading the essay to rectify occasional errors would enhance the overall lexical control. Additionally, while the essay displays a wide range of vocabulary, focusing on using complex vocabulary more naturally and accurately within the context would further elevate the lexical resource score.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable use of a variety of complex structures, showcasing a good command of grammar and punctuation. The introduction effectively sets the stage, employing a mix of sentence structures. The essay also maintains a coherent and organized progression of ideas. There is a clear attempt to use a wide range of vocabulary, contributing to the overall sophistication of the language. However, there are a few instances of awkward phrasing, and some sentences could be refined for better clarity. Despite this, the errors are infrequent and don’t impede communication significantly.

How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range and accuracy, pay careful attention to sentence structure and word choice. Ensure that complex structures are used with precision and that sentences are formulated for maximum clarity. Proofread the essay for any awkward phrasing or ambiguity. Additionally, strive for greater consistency in the use of varied structures throughout the essay.

Bài sửa mẫu

The environment’s persistent instability has been a concern for Earth’s inhabitants for many decades. Initially, people took nature’s call seriously. However, over time, awareness diminished or became insincere. This essay will discuss the notion that people often fail to acknowledge environmental issues, somewhat agreeing with this idea.

Governments and authorities are commonly viewed as the primary drivers of campaigns for environmental preservation. This fosters the misconception that the responsibility is solely theirs. Consequently, environmental protection processes occur ineffectively and in a disjointed manner.

More concerning is that many individuals act as if they are dedicated to improving the world’s habitability but unconsciously perceive it as mundane. This explains why they may not genuinely see the current situation and, paradoxically, contribute to environmental harm by consuming detrimental products. In some countries, despite signs warning against littering and imposing fines, people discard their trash with impunity.

Nevertheless, those indifferent to our planet do not constitute a majority. Young people, especially, are increasingly concerned about environmental issues, as these topics are part of their curriculum and featured prominently in advertisements. Consequently, there is a widespread effort to save energy, use eco-friendly products, and actively engage in organizations to keep the world unpolluted. Funds and campaigns, like the recent “Oral” project by the renowned artist Bjork, which criticizes intensive salmon farming for harming the aquatic environment, have been actively implemented for years. This is far from being superficial.

In conclusion, while some individuals may not take environmental protection seriously, they do not represent the majority. Those who genuinely care about the environment outnumber them. A united effort, without polarized factions, would have made the world a better place, fostering conscientiousness among all.

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