News editors decide what to broadcast on television and what to print in newspapers. What factors do you think influence these decisions? Do we become used to bad news? Would it be better if more good news was reported?
News editors decide what to broadcast on television and what to print in newspapers. What factors do you think influence these decisions? Do we become used to bad news? Would it be better if more good news was reported?
In most stations, this burden of selecting information for the newsletter always falls on the shoulders of editors. According to some news editors, the main factor in making a decision about what the newsletter will broadcast is the hotness and prominence, and accuracy of the information. Therefore, today, people are used to bad news, but in my opinion, if more good news was reported, it people's psychology would be better. This essay will explain and give some examples to prove it.
On the one hand, outstanding and hot news is often the first factor of station people when choosing information. Due to high – heat news i.e. that are attracting the attention of public, are usually prioritized, including major international events, natural disasters, or important political issues. Moreover, another factor is the authenticity of the information. Thank to this factor, the station as well as the news will build trust in the hearts of the audience. For example, during the Covid-19 pandemic, most of the daily news reports revolve around the development of the epidemic. It was the most prominent news at that time and was guaranteed to be accurate. In addition, some factors such as: news value, objectivity, attractiveness also contribute to a newsletter and a newspaper. Because it brings benefits for people.
On the other hand, as mentioned above, in order to attract viewers and listeners, editors often choose prominent, and hot news, so most of the information is bad news. Because bad news will bring a sense of suspense and stimulation, making the reader curious and want to know more about them. According to a study conducted by Harvard University expects, the ratio of bad news and good news broadcast in a year in US is 1:20, which is means that 1 in 20 bad news will be mentioned in the news each years. This number is alarming when bad news can affect people's health, especially mental health, psychologists in Vietnam have been skeptical, so keep pointing out that bad news makes people susceptible to anxiety, insomnia, and stress syndrome because they are always obsessed with it, so I believe that people's psychology will be better if more good news is broadcast, good news will help people, especially young people, have a better outlook on life and help them avoid negative psychological problems, said Army Orben. Therefore broadcasters should balance the amount of good and bad news, the government should take measures to prevent bad news from affecting the country such as creating laws, controlling information, and everyone should also be positive when they receive good news.
In conclusion, broadcasters often choose information to broadcast based on the factors of accuracy, heat and prominence of the news. Therefore, today people are exposed to a lot of bad news because it stimulates the curiosity of readers and listeners. However, I think news sites should include more good news to improve people's psychology.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
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"In most stations" -> "In many news organizations"
Explanation: "In most stations" is vague and informal. "In many news organizations" is more precise and formal, suitable for academic writing. -
"the burden of selecting information" -> "the responsibility of selecting information"
Explanation: "Burden" can imply a negative connotation, whereas "responsibility" is neutral and more appropriate for an academic context. -
"hotness and prominence" -> "importance and relevance"
Explanation: "Hotness" is an informal term and can be misinterpreted. "Importance and relevance" are more formal and clear. -
"today, people are used to bad news" -> "currently, audiences are accustomed to negative news"
Explanation: "Today" is too informal and vague; "currently" is more precise. "Accustomed to" is a more formal expression than "used to." -
"it people’s psychology would be better" -> "it would improve people’s mental well-being"
Explanation: "It people’s psychology would be better" is grammatically incorrect and awkward. "It would improve people’s mental well-being" is grammatically correct and more formal. -
"outstanding and hot news" -> "significant and prominent news"
Explanation: "Hot news" is informal and imprecise. "Significant and prominent news" are more formal and accurate. -
"high – heat news" -> "high-profile news"
Explanation: "High-heat news" is incorrect and unclear. "High-profile news" is the correct term. -
"Thank to this factor" -> "Thanks to this factor"
Explanation: "Thank" should be "Thanks" for grammatical correctness. -
"build trust in the hearts of the audience" -> "establish trust among the audience"
Explanation: "Build trust in the hearts of the audience" is overly sentimental and informal. "Establish trust among the audience" is more formal and precise. -
"news value, objectivity, attractiveness" -> "news value, objectivity, and appeal"
Explanation: "Attractiveness" is too informal and vague; "appeal" is more specific and appropriate for academic writing. -
"Because it brings benefits for people" -> "Because it benefits individuals"
Explanation: "For people" is informal and vague; "for individuals" is more precise and formal. -
"bad news will bring a sense of suspense and stimulation" -> "bad news often creates a sense of suspense and stimulation"
Explanation: "Will bring" implies a certainty that may not always be the case; "often creates" is more accurate and less absolute. -
"1:20, which is means that" -> "1:20, which means that"
Explanation: "Which is means that" is grammatically incorrect. "Which means that" is the correct form. -
"bad news can affect people’s health" -> "bad news can negatively impact individuals’ health"
Explanation: "Affect" is too general; "negatively impact" is more specific and formal. -
"psychologists in Vietnam have been skeptical" -> "Vietnamese psychologists have expressed skepticism"
Explanation: "Have been skeptical" is passive and less formal; "have expressed skepticism" is more direct and formal. -
"keep pointing out" -> "continuously emphasize"
Explanation: "Keep pointing out" is informal and vague; "continuously emphasize" is more precise and formal. -
"bad news makes people susceptible to anxiety, insomnia, and stress syndrome" -> "bad news renders individuals susceptible to anxiety, insomnia, and stress syndromes"
Explanation: "Makes people susceptible" is informal; "renders individuals susceptible" is more formal and precise. Also, "syndrome" should be pluralized to "syndromes" for accuracy. -
"young people, have a better outlook on life" -> "young people, can have a more optimistic outlook on life"
Explanation: "Have a better outlook" is informal and vague; "can have a more optimistic outlook" is more precise and formal. -
"avoid negative psychological problems" -> "avoid negative psychological issues"
Explanation: "Problems" is too general; "issues" is more specific and appropriate for academic writing. -
"Army Orben" -> "Army Orben" (assuming this is a typographical error)
Explanation: This appears to be a typographical error; the correct name should be provided if it is intended to be a reference.
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Task Response: 7
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Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt effectively by discussing the factors influencing news selection, such as the prominence and accuracy of information. It also touches on the idea of whether society has become accustomed to bad news and argues for the inclusion of more good news. However, the response could benefit from a more structured approach to clearly delineate the factors influencing news decisions and the implications of bad news on society.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should ensure each part of the prompt is distinctly addressed in separate paragraphs. For example, one paragraph could focus solely on the factors influencing news selection, while another could delve into the societal impact of bad news and the potential benefits of reporting more good news. This structure would provide clarity and ensure all aspects of the question are thoroughly explored.
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Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear position that more good news should be reported to improve people’s psychology. However, the position is somewhat diluted by the way it is introduced and reiterated. The phrase "in my opinion" is used, but the argument could be more assertively stated throughout the essay.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear and consistent position, the writer should explicitly state their stance in the introduction and reinforce it in each body paragraph. Using phrases such as "This illustrates that…" or "This supports the argument that…" can help tie back to the main position and strengthen the overall coherence of the essay.
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Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas regarding the factors influencing news selection and the psychological effects of bad news. However, some points lack sufficient elaboration or supporting evidence. For instance, while the mention of the Harvard study is relevant, it is not fully integrated into the argument, and the source is not clearly cited.
- How to improve: To improve the development of ideas, the writer should provide more detailed explanations and examples for each point made. Incorporating relevant statistics, studies, or expert opinions can substantiate claims and enhance the overall argument. Additionally, ensuring that all examples are clearly linked to the main argument will help in extending the ideas presented.
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Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, discussing news selection and the implications of bad news. However, there are moments where the focus shifts slightly, such as when discussing the role of the government and laws in controlling news. While relevant, these points could be more succinctly tied back to the main argument.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that every point made directly relates back to the main thesis. Avoiding tangential discussions and keeping the argument tightly aligned with the prompt will help in staying on topic. It may also be beneficial to outline the essay before writing to ensure all points are relevant and contribute to the overall argument.
By implementing these suggestions, the writer can enhance the clarity, coherence, and depth of their essay, potentially improving their Task Response score in future assessments.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7
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Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The arguments are generally organized logically, with the first body paragraph discussing the factors influencing news selection and the second addressing the implications of predominantly bad news. However, the transitions between ideas could be smoother. For instance, the shift from discussing the factors of news selection to the consequences of bad news feels abrupt, which can disrupt the flow of the argument.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph that explicitly state the main idea. Additionally, employing transitional phrases such as "Furthermore," "In contrast," or "As a result" can help guide the reader through the argument more seamlessly.
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Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively to separate different ideas. Each paragraph has a distinct focus, which is important for clarity. However, some paragraphs could be more balanced in terms of length and content. For example, the second body paragraph is quite lengthy and covers multiple points, which could be overwhelming for the reader.
- How to improve: Aim for more balanced paragraphs by ensuring that each one contains a single main idea supported by relevant examples. Consider breaking down longer paragraphs into smaller ones if they cover multiple points. This will make the essay easier to read and follow.
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Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "On the one hand" and "In addition," which help connect ideas. However, the range of cohesive devices used is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between sentences could be clearer. For example, the phrase "Because bad news will bring a sense of suspense and stimulation" could be better linked to the previous sentence to clarify the relationship between the ideas.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider variety of linking words and phrases, such as "Moreover," "Consequently," "For instance," and "Conversely." Additionally, ensure that each cohesive device is used appropriately to maintain clarity in the relationships between ideas. Practicing the use of these devices in different contexts can help improve their effectiveness in your writing.
Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of coherence and cohesion, focusing on enhancing transitions, balancing paragraph content, and diversifying cohesive devices will contribute to achieving a higher band score in this criterion.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6
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Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary, with some attempts to use varied expressions such as "burden of selecting information," "hotness and prominence," and "authenticity of the information." However, the vocabulary is often repetitive and lacks sophistication. For instance, the terms "bad news" and "good news" are used frequently without variation, which limits the lexical richness of the essay.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should incorporate synonyms and related terms. For example, instead of repeatedly using "bad news," alternatives like "negative news," "adverse reports," or "unpleasant stories" could be employed. Additionally, using more advanced vocabulary related to journalism and psychology, such as "sensationalism," "cognitive impact," or "media bias," would elevate the essay’s lexical resource.
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Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains instances of imprecise vocabulary usage. For example, the phrase "the hotness and prominence" is awkward and unclear; "hot news" is not a standard term in journalism. Additionally, the phrase "the authenticity of the information" could be more effectively stated as "the reliability of the information." Such imprecision can confuse readers and detracts from the overall clarity of the argument.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on using established terms and phrases commonly found in discussions about news and media. For example, instead of "hotness," the writer could use "timeliness" or "relevance." Furthermore, ensuring that terms accurately reflect their intended meaning will enhance the clarity of the essay. Engaging with academic texts on media studies could provide insights into more precise vocabulary.
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Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "thank to this factor" (should be "thanks to this factor"), "high – heat news" (should be "high-heat news"), and "i.e. that are attracting the attention of public" (should be "that attract the attention of the public"). These errors can disrupt the flow of reading and may lead to misunderstandings.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular proofreading practices. Utilizing spell-check tools and reading the essay aloud can help identify errors. Additionally, creating a list of commonly misspelled words and reviewing them before writing could be beneficial. Practicing writing in a timed setting can also help improve overall fluency and reduce spelling mistakes.
In summary, while the essay demonstrates a basic understanding of the topic and attempts to engage with relevant vocabulary, there is significant room for improvement in terms of vocabulary range, precision, and spelling accuracy. By focusing on these areas, the writer can work towards achieving a higher band score in Lexical Resource.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6
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Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and some complex sentences. For instance, sentences like "In most stations, this burden of selecting information for the newsletter always falls on the shoulders of editors" show an understanding of basic structure. However, the use of more complex structures is limited, and some sentences are awkwardly phrased, such as "the main factor in making a decision about what the newsletter will broadcast is the hotness and prominence, and accuracy of the information." This could be simplified or restructured for clarity.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, the writer should practice incorporating more complex sentences that include subordinate clauses. For example, instead of saying "the main factor in making a decision… is the hotness and prominence," the writer could say, "One of the main factors influencing editorial decisions is the prominence and relevance of the news, which often determines its broadcast." Additionally, varying sentence beginnings and using transitional phrases can improve flow and coherence.
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Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from its overall clarity. For instance, phrases like "high – heat news" should be corrected to "high-profile news," and "thank to this factor" should read "thanks to this factor." There are also instances of incorrect article usage, such as "the authenticity of the information," which could be more effectively stated as "the authenticity of news." Furthermore, punctuation errors, such as the unnecessary comma in "prominent, and hot news," disrupt the flow of reading.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on understanding the correct usage of articles, prepositions, and conjunctions. Regular practice with grammar exercises and seeking feedback on sentence construction can help. Additionally, proofreading for punctuation errors before submission can significantly enhance the overall quality of the writing. The writer should pay particular attention to comma usage, ensuring that they are used correctly to avoid run-on sentences or fragments.
Overall, while the essay demonstrates a basic understanding of the topic and presents relevant arguments, enhancing grammatical range and accuracy will be crucial for achieving a higher band score in future writing tasks.
Bài sửa mẫu
In most stations, the burden of selecting information for the newsletter always falls on the shoulders of editors. According to some news editors, the main factors in making a decision about what the newsletter will broadcast are the prominence, relevance, and accuracy of the information. Therefore, currently, people are accustomed to bad news, but in my opinion, if more good news were reported, it would improve people’s mental well-being. This essay will explain and give some examples to prove this.
On the one hand, outstanding and high-profile news is often the first factor for station personnel when choosing information. Due to high-profile news, which attracts the attention of the public, it is usually prioritized, including major international events, natural disasters, or important political issues. Moreover, another factor is the authenticity of the information. Thanks to this factor, the station, as well as the news, will establish trust among the audience. For example, during the Covid-19 pandemic, most of the daily news reports revolved around the development of the epidemic. It was the most significant and prominent news at that time and was guaranteed to be accurate. In addition, some factors such as news value, objectivity, and appeal also contribute to a newsletter and a newspaper because they benefit individuals.
On the other hand, as mentioned above, in order to attract viewers and listeners, editors often choose prominent and high-profile news, so most of the information is bad news. Bad news often creates a sense of suspense and stimulation, making the reader curious and wanting to know more about it. According to a study conducted by Harvard University, the ratio of bad news to good news broadcast in a year in the US is 1:20, which means that 1 in 20 news stories will mention bad news each year. This number is alarming, as bad news can negatively impact individuals’ health, especially mental health. Vietnamese psychologists have expressed skepticism, continuously emphasizing that bad news renders individuals susceptible to anxiety, insomnia, and stress syndromes because they are always obsessed with it. Therefore, I believe that people’s psychology would be better if more good news were broadcast. Good news will help people, especially young people, have a more optimistic outlook on life and avoid negative psychological issues, as stated by Army Orben. Therefore, broadcasters should balance the amount of good and bad news, the government should take measures to prevent bad news from affecting the country, such as creating laws and controlling information, and everyone should also be positive when they receive good news.
In conclusion, broadcasters often choose information to broadcast based on the factors of accuracy, relevance, and prominence of the news. Therefore, today, people are exposed to a lot of bad news because it stimulates the curiosity of readers and listeners. However, I think news sites should include more good news to improve people’s psychology.