News media are important in modern society. Why are they so important? Are their influences generally positive or negative?
News media are important in modern society. Why are they so important? Are their influences generally positive or negative?
In light of modernization and globalization, online journalism has become an indispensable part of recent society. It makes way for absorbing crucial information and devoting to raising people's awareness by offering a viable approach to concerning problems. On that account, news media plays an exceedingly important role in individuals' fundamental demands.
It is apparent that modern people have a gigantic ability to access an extremely huge amount of data with the popularity of the internet and informative documents, especially virtual newspapers. These types of content provide users with numerous topics, ranging from daily life information to academic reports, which will generally widen residents' accessibility. In addition, online newspapers are able to raise people's behavior and awareness about urgent problems by continuously offering current affairs. For instance, governments can warn people about an emergency issue by announcing people with necessary facts and figures like occurrence reasons and location.
Regarding negativities, despite having undeniable benefits and being crucial to our society, online journalism is still faced with a number of existences. First and foremost, most of the news media are privately organized, which means a large number of them are spontaneously built by individuals or non-government communities. Consequently, absorbing non-absolute precise information from these agencies means dealing with the risk of lacking a mainstream source of facts that leads to misunderstanding. Moreover, over-amplifying problems to receive fame and popularity can be commonly seen in unorthodox organizations, resulting in a deviant mindset among readers.
In conclusion, despite being exceptionally important in modern society, journalism media needs a number of justifications to avoid negative impact on human mindset and reading habits.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
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"In light of modernization and globalization" -> "In the context of modernization and globalization"
Explanation: "In the context of" is a more precise and formal phrase that better suits academic writing, enhancing the clarity and specificity of the introduction. -
"makes way for absorbing" -> "facilitates the absorption of"
Explanation: "Facilitates the absorption of" is more formal and precise, improving the academic tone by avoiding the colloquial "makes way for." -
"devoting to raising people’s awareness" -> "dedicated to raising public awareness"
Explanation: "Dedicated to" is more formal and specific than "devoting to," and "public awareness" is a more precise term than "people’s awareness." -
"exceedingly important" -> "extremely important"
Explanation: While "exceedingly" is not incorrect, "extremely" is more commonly used in academic texts to convey strong emphasis. -
"gigantic ability" -> "significant capacity"
Explanation: "Significant capacity" is more precise and formal than "gigantic ability," which is somewhat informal and vague. -
"an extremely huge amount" -> "a substantial amount"
Explanation: "A substantial amount" is more formal and avoids the redundancy of "extremely huge." -
"informative documents" -> "informational resources"
Explanation: "Informational resources" is a more precise and formal term than "informative documents." -
"virtual newspapers" -> "online newspapers"
Explanation: "Online newspapers" is a more commonly accepted term in academic and formal contexts than "virtual newspapers." -
"will generally widen residents’ accessibility" -> "typically enhances residents’ accessibility"
Explanation: "Typically enhances" is more precise and formal than "will generally widen," which is somewhat vague and informal. -
"raise people’s behavior" -> "influence people’s behavior"
Explanation: "Influence" is a more precise and academically appropriate term than "raise," which can be ambiguous in this context. -
"an emergency issue" -> "an urgent issue"
Explanation: "Urgent" is a more specific and formal term than "emergency," which can be somewhat colloquial. -
"announcing people with necessary facts and figures" -> "providing citizens with essential information"
Explanation: "Providing citizens with essential information" is more formal and precise than "announcing people with necessary facts and figures." -
"absorbing non-absolute precise information" -> "receiving incomplete information"
Explanation: "Receiving incomplete information" is clearer and more direct than "absorbing non-absolute precise information," which is awkward and unclear. -
"over-amplifying problems" -> "exaggerating issues"
Explanation: "Exaggerating issues" is a more precise and formal term than "over-amplifying problems." -
"unorthodox organizations" -> "non-traditional organizations"
Explanation: "Non-traditional" is a more formal and precise term than "unorthodox," which can be seen as informal. -
"deviant mindset" -> "distorted perspective"
Explanation: "Distorted perspective" is a more formal and academically appropriate term than "deviant mindset," which is somewhat informal and vague. -
"needs a number of justifications" -> "requires justification"
Explanation: "Requires justification" is more concise and formal than "needs a number of justifications," which is awkward and verbose.
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Task Response: 7
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Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both parts of the prompt by discussing the importance of news media in modern society and evaluating their influences as both positive and negative. The introduction sets the stage for the discussion, and the body paragraphs provide insights into the benefits of online journalism, such as increased access to information and raising awareness about urgent issues. However, the exploration of the negative influences is less developed, with only a couple of points mentioned, which could leave the reader wanting more depth in this area.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the essay could include more specific examples and a deeper analysis of the negative aspects of news media. For instance, discussing the impact of misinformation or the role of sensationalism in shaping public perception could provide a more balanced view. Additionally, addressing the implications of these negative influences on society would strengthen the argument.
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Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that acknowledges the importance of news media while also recognizing their potential negative impacts. The introduction and conclusion effectively encapsulate this dual perspective. However, the transition between discussing positive and negative influences could be smoother, as the shift feels somewhat abrupt.
- How to improve: To improve clarity and coherence, the essay could benefit from clearer topic sentences that guide the reader through the argument. For example, explicitly stating the transition from positive to negative influences in a concluding sentence of the first body paragraph would help maintain a logical flow.
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Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas about the role of news media, such as accessibility and awareness-raising, which are relevant and well-articulated. However, the support for these ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, while the essay mentions that governments can warn people about emergencies, it does not provide a specific example or case study to illustrate this point.
- How to improve: To strengthen the development of ideas, the essay should include more concrete examples and evidence to support claims. This could involve citing specific instances where news media have positively influenced public awareness or discussing particular cases of misinformation that have led to negative outcomes.
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Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the importance of news media and their influences. However, some sentences could be seen as slightly tangential, such as the mention of "academic reports," which may not directly relate to the core argument about the role of news media in society.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that every point made directly relates to the prompt. It may help to outline the main ideas before writing to ensure that all content is relevant and contributes to answering the question. Additionally, avoiding overly broad statements can help keep the discussion centered on the specific influences of news media.
Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a balanced view, it could benefit from more detailed examples, clearer transitions, and tighter focus on the prompt to achieve a higher band score.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7
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Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas in a generally logical order, with a clear progression from the importance of news media to its positive and negative influences. The introduction sets the stage for the discussion, while the body paragraphs delve into specific aspects of online journalism. However, the transition between points could be smoother. For instance, the shift from discussing the benefits of news media to its downsides feels abrupt and could benefit from clearer linking phrases or sentences that guide the reader through the argument.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases such as "On the other hand" or "Conversely" when moving from positive to negative aspects. Additionally, outlining the essay before writing can help ensure that each point builds on the previous one and that the overall structure is cohesive.
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Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct aspect of the topic. The first paragraph introduces the importance of news media, the second discusses its positive impacts, and the third addresses the negatives. However, the paragraphs could be more clearly defined with topic sentences that summarize the main idea of each paragraph. For example, the second paragraph could start with a sentence that explicitly states the benefits of online journalism before elaborating on them.
- How to improve: Strengthen paragraph structure by ensuring each one begins with a clear topic sentence. This helps the reader quickly grasp the main idea and improves the overall coherence of the essay. Additionally, consider breaking down longer paragraphs into smaller ones if they contain multiple ideas, which can help maintain clarity.
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Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "In addition" and "Moreover," which help connect ideas within paragraphs. However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and the essay could benefit from a more varied use of linking words and phrases. For instance, the phrase "On that account" in the introduction is somewhat formal and could be replaced with a more common phrase like "As a result" to enhance readability.
- How to improve: To diversify cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of linking words, such as "Furthermore," "Additionally," "However," and "Consequently." This will not only improve the flow of the essay but also demonstrate a stronger command of language. Practicing the use of these devices in different contexts can help in mastering their application.
Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a coherent argument, focusing on enhancing transitions, refining paragraph structure, and diversifying cohesive devices will contribute to a higher band score in Coherence and Cohesion.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7
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Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary, with phrases such as "indispensable part," "gigantic ability," and "urgent problems." These expressions show an attempt to use varied language that enhances the argument. However, some vocabulary choices are somewhat repetitive or could be more sophisticated. For example, the phrase "a large number of them" could be replaced with "a significant proportion" for greater impact.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should incorporate more synonyms and advanced expressions. For instance, instead of repeating "important," alternatives like "crucial," "vital," or "paramount" could be used. Reading a wider variety of texts and noting new vocabulary can help in this regard.
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Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains instances of imprecise vocabulary usage, such as "non-absolute precise information," which is awkward and could be simplified to "inaccurate information." Additionally, the phrase "dealing with the risk of lacking a mainstream source of facts" could be clearer if rephrased to "facing the risk of misinformation due to a lack of reliable sources."
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on clarity and conciseness. It is advisable to review sentences for redundancy and to choose words that convey the intended meaning more directly. Engaging in exercises that focus on paraphrasing can also aid in enhancing precision.
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Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay shows a good level of spelling accuracy, with no major spelling errors that impede understanding. Words like "modernization," "globalization," and "information" are spelled correctly, reflecting a solid grasp of English spelling conventions.
- How to improve: To maintain and improve spelling accuracy, the writer should continue to proofread their work carefully. Utilizing spell-check tools and engaging in regular writing practice can help reinforce correct spelling. Additionally, keeping a personal list of commonly misspelled words and reviewing them can be beneficial.
Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid command of vocabulary, there are areas for improvement in terms of range, precision, and consistency in spelling. By focusing on these aspects, the writer can enhance their lexical resource and potentially achieve a higher band score.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7
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Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For example, the opening sentence, "In light of modernization and globalization, online journalism has become an indispensable part of recent society," effectively uses a complex structure to introduce the topic. Additionally, the use of phrases such as "On that account" and "Regarding negativities" shows an attempt to vary sentence openings and transitions. However, there are instances where sentence structures could be more varied; for example, some sentences are quite lengthy and could benefit from being broken down into shorter, more concise statements for clarity.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures further, consider incorporating more varied sentence lengths and types. For instance, use more questions or exclamatory sentences to engage the reader. Additionally, practice combining shorter sentences into more complex ones where appropriate, and vice versa, to enhance the flow and readability of the essay.
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Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a good level of grammatical accuracy, but there are some errors that detract from the overall quality. For example, the phrase "most of the news media are privately organized" could be more accurately stated as "most news media outlets are privately owned." Additionally, the use of "existences" in "online journalism is still faced with a number of existences" is awkward and should be replaced with "challenges" or "issues." Punctuation is mostly correct, but there are areas where commas could enhance clarity, such as before "which means" in the same sentence.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, review common grammatical structures and their correct usage, particularly subject-verb agreement and noun forms. Additionally, consider revising sentences for clarity and conciseness, ensuring that each word contributes to the overall meaning. Regular practice with grammar exercises and seeking feedback on writing can also help identify and rectify recurring errors.
Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid command of grammatical range and accuracy, focusing on these areas will help elevate the writing to a higher band score.
Bài sửa mẫu
In the context of modernization and globalization, online journalism has become an indispensable part of contemporary society. It facilitates the absorption of crucial information and is dedicated to raising public awareness by offering a viable approach to pressing issues. On that account, news media play an extremely important role in fulfilling individuals’ fundamental needs.
It is apparent that modern people have a significant capacity to access a substantial amount of data with the popularity of the internet and informational resources, especially online newspapers. These types of content provide users with a wide range of topics, ranging from daily life information to academic reports, which typically enhances residents’ accessibility. In addition, online newspapers can influence people’s behavior and awareness about urgent problems by continuously offering updates on current affairs. For instance, governments can alert citizens about emergency issues by providing essential information, such as the causes and locations of incidents.
Regarding the negative aspects, despite having undeniable benefits and being crucial to our society, online journalism still faces a number of challenges. First and foremost, many news media outlets are privately organized, which means a large number of them are spontaneously established by individuals or non-traditional organizations. Consequently, receiving incomplete information from these agencies poses the risk of lacking a mainstream source of facts, which can lead to misunderstandings. Moreover, exaggerating issues to gain fame and popularity can often be observed in these non-traditional organizations, resulting in a distorted perspective among readers.
In conclusion, while journalism is exceptionally important in modern society, it requires justification to mitigate its negative impact on people’s mindsets and reading habits.