Newspapers or other media is the best way to learn about news. Discuss and state your opinion.
Newspapers or other media is the best way to learn about news. Discuss and state your opinion.
Nowadays, the two main ways people consume news are traditional newspapers and online newspapers.
While some argue that traditional newspapers are a verified supplement of information, others say that online newspapers should be prioritized in this digital world. In my opinion, each way has its own merits, and the combinations of sources are the most comprehensive way to approach.
On the one hand, printed newspapers are written by reliable purveyors of information. Rigorous editorial standards while writing newspapers are vital, which can provide verified information of events in the world to millions of readers; therefore, residents often prioritize printed newspapers to depend on.
Moreover, traditional newspapers offer readers all in-depth analysis, allowing readers to delve into complex issues.
On the other hand, alternative sources of information are especially chosen in this developing age.
Primarily, online newspapers provide an immediacy and a broader range of viewpoints in order that people can engage with concerning topics in a dynamic way. Moreover, with the rapid dissemination of information, this news can reach a global audience within seconds.
In my perspective, besides reliable information and well-organized standards of traditional newspapers, it can't be denied that online newspapers provide citizens with a fast spread of events, information and convenience.
In conclusion, while printed newspapers are supplied with reliable sources of information, the alternative one is more favourited in this modern age. The balanced consumption of information will widen the range of information and stay well in this age of proliferation of Internet.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
Errors and Improvements:
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"Nowadays" -> "In contemporary times"
Explanation: "Nowadays" is informal and colloquial. Replacing it with "In contemporary times" maintains the temporal reference while adopting a more formal tone suitable for academic writing. -
"traditional newspapers" -> "printed newspapers"
Explanation: "Traditional newspapers" is a bit redundant, as newspapers are typically printed. Using "printed newspapers" is more concise and maintains clarity. -
"verified supplement of information" -> "reliable source of information"
Explanation: "Verified supplement of information" is awkward and unclear. "Reliable source of information" is a clearer and more precise phrase, fitting for academic writing. -
"residents" -> "readers"
Explanation: "Residents" might imply a geographical limitation, while "readers" encompasses anyone who reads the newspapers, irrespective of location, making it a more appropriate term. -
"all in-depth analysis" -> "in-depth analysis"
Explanation: "All in-depth analysis" is redundant; "in-depth analysis" suffices to convey the depth of coverage provided by traditional newspapers. -
"alternative sources of information" -> "digital sources of information"
Explanation: "Alternative sources of information" might imply sources that are outside the mainstream or unconventional, whereas "digital sources of information" encompasses both online newspapers and other digital platforms, maintaining clarity. -
"chosen in this developing age" -> "preferred in this digital era"
Explanation: "Chosen in this developing age" is vague and unclear. "Preferred in this digital era" is more precise and highlights the preference for online newspapers in the current technological landscape. -
"Primarily" -> "First and foremost"
Explanation: "Primarily" is slightly informal. "First and foremost" retains the emphasis on the importance of online newspapers while sounding more formal and academic. -
"provide citizens with a fast spread" -> "facilitate the rapid dissemination"
Explanation: "Provide citizens with a fast spread" is awkward and lacks precision. "Facilitate the rapid dissemination" is clearer and more formal, better suited for academic writing. -
"more favourited" -> "more favored"
Explanation: "More favourited" is informal. "More favored" is the correct past participle form and aligns better with academic writing conventions. -
"modern age" -> "contemporary society"
Explanation: "Modern age" is somewhat vague. "Contemporary society" is more precise and formal, conveying the idea of the present era with greater clarity. -
"consumption of information" -> "access to information"
Explanation: "Consumption of information" is slightly awkward. "Access to information" better captures the idea of obtaining information from various sources. -
"will widen the range of information" -> "broadens the scope of available information"
Explanation: "Widen the range of information" is a bit unclear. "Broadens the scope of available information" is more precise and formal, conveying the idea of increased variety and depth in information access.
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Task Response: 6 – UNDER WORD
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Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both sides of the argument regarding the preference between traditional newspapers and online newspapers. It acknowledges the benefits of each and concludes by advocating for a balanced consumption of both sources.
- How to improve: To enhance task response, ensure that each viewpoint is elaborated upon more thoroughly. Additionally, explicitly addressing the prompt by discussing whether newspapers or other media are the best way to learn about news would strengthen the essay’s focus.
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Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a somewhat clear position by suggesting that a combination of traditional and online newspapers is the most comprehensive approach. However, the position could be more explicitly stated and consistently reinforced throughout the essay.
- How to improve: To improve clarity and consistency, clearly state the preferred approach in the introduction and reiterate it in the conclusion. Additionally, provide stronger and more consistent support for this position throughout the body paragraphs.
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Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas about the benefits of traditional newspapers and online newspapers but lacks in-depth analysis and development. While it mentions advantages such as reliability and immediacy, these points are not extensively elaborated upon with concrete examples or evidence.
- How to improve: To enhance idea presentation and development, provide specific examples or case studies to support each argument. Additionally, extend discussions on each point to provide a more thorough analysis of the advantages and drawbacks of each source.
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Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay mostly stays on topic by discussing the merits of traditional newspapers versus online newspapers in the context of learning about news. However, it occasionally drifts into broader discussions about the modern age and the proliferation of the internet.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, ensure that each paragraph directly relates to the comparison between traditional and online newspapers as the best sources for news consumption. Avoid tangential discussions that do not directly contribute to this comparison.
Overall, while the essay demonstrates an understanding of the topic and presents some valid points, it could benefit from clearer organization, stronger support for the stated position, and more thorough analysis of the advantages and disadvantages of each news source. By addressing these areas for improvement, the essay could achieve a higher band score for task response.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6
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Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a generally logical organization, with distinct paragraphs addressing different aspects of the argument. However, there are some instances where the flow could be smoother. For example, the transition between discussing traditional newspapers and online newspapers could be more seamless. Additionally, the conclusion could be strengthened by summarizing the main points more effectively.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using transition words and phrases more consistently to guide the reader through the essay. Also, ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and supports the main argument cohesively.
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Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs paragraphs to separate different ideas, which aids readability. However, some paragraphs could be more focused on a single aspect of the argument, enhancing clarity. For instance, the paragraph discussing traditional newspapers could be broken down into smaller paragraphs to delve deeper into specific points, such as editorial standards and in-depth analysis.
- How to improve: Try to stick to the "one paragraph, one idea" rule, ensuring that each paragraph focuses on a single aspect or argument. This will help maintain clarity and coherence throughout the essay.
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Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay utilizes some cohesive devices, such as transitional phrases like "on the one hand" and "on the other hand." However, there is room for improvement in the diversity and consistency of cohesive devices used. More varied connectors and linking words could be employed to strengthen the connections between ideas and paragraphs.
- How to improve: Expand your repertoire of cohesive devices to include a wider range of connectors, pronouns, and conjunctions. Practice incorporating these devices naturally into your writing to improve coherence and cohesion.
Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of coherence and cohesion, there are opportunities for refinement in the areas mentioned above. By focusing on smoother transitions, clearer paragraph structure, and a wider variety of cohesive devices, the essay could achieve an even higher band score in this criterion.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6
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Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a satisfactory range of vocabulary, with some variety in word choice throughout. For instance, it employs terms like "traditional newspapers," "reliable purveyors of information," "rigorous editorial standards," "alternative sources of information," "immediacy," "dissemination of information," and "proliferation of Internet." These terms contribute to conveying the writer’s ideas effectively.
- How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource further, consider incorporating more nuanced vocabulary choices and idiomatic expressions where appropriate. Additionally, try to integrate specialized terminology related to the topic to demonstrate a deeper understanding.
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Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary appropriately, but there are instances where word choice could be more precise. For example, the phrase "alternative sources of information are especially chosen" could be refined for clarity and precision. Additionally, the term "favourited" may not be the most precise choice here.
- How to improve: To improve precision, aim to select words that accurately convey the intended meaning. Avoid vague or ambiguous language, and consider using synonyms or rephrasing sentences to express ideas more precisely. Furthermore, proofreading carefully can help identify any imprecise language and provide opportunities for refinement.
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Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay demonstrates a satisfactory level of spelling accuracy. However, there are a few instances where minor spelling errors are present, such as "immediacy" (immediacy), "dissemination" (dissemination), and "favourited" (favored). These errors do not significantly detract from the overall readability, but attention to spelling consistency is essential for academic writing.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, consider utilizing spell-check tools and proofreading thoroughly before submission. Additionally, reviewing commonly misspelled words and practicing spelling exercises can help reinforce correct spelling habits. Paying close attention to detail during the writing process can minimize errors and enhance the overall quality of the essay.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7
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Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures, including compound and complex sentences. For instance, it utilizes complex sentences such as "While some argue that traditional newspapers are a verified supplement of information, others say that online newspapers should be prioritized in this digital world." This variety enhances readability and engagement.
- How to improve: To further enrich the essay’s sentence structures, consider incorporating rhetorical devices like parallelism or varied clause structures. Additionally, explore the use of conditional sentences or inversion for added sophistication.
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Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay maintains a strong level of grammatical accuracy. However, there are a few instances where minor errors occur. For example, "Primarily, online newspapers provide an immediacy and a broader range of viewpoints in order that people can engage with concerning topics in a dynamic way." Here, the phrase "in order that" is awkward and could be simplified for clarity. Additionally, the phrase "it can’t be denied" could be revised to "it cannot be denied" for formal writing.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, carefully proofread the essay for subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and proper word choice. Pay particular attention to articles (e.g., "a," "an," "the") and prepositions to ensure they are used correctly. Additionally, utilize punctuation effectively to clarify meaning and improve the flow of ideas. For instance, consider using semicolons or dashes to connect related clauses more seamlessly.
Bài sửa mẫu
In contemporary times, the two primary ways people gather news are through traditional newspapers and online sources. While some argue for the reliability of printed newspapers as a trusted source of information, others advocate for the preference of online news in this digital era. In my view, each method has its own strengths, and utilizing a combination of sources offers the most comprehensive understanding.
First and foremost, printed newspapers are regarded as reliable sources of information due to their adherence to rigorous editorial standards. They are written by credible journalists and provide verified information to millions of readers worldwide. Additionally, traditional newspapers offer readers in-depth analysis, allowing them to explore complex issues thoroughly.
On the other hand, online news sources are more favored in contemporary society, primarily for their immediacy and the diverse range of perspectives they offer. Online newspapers facilitate the rapid dissemination of information, enabling people to engage with current events dynamically. Moreover, they provide a broader range of viewpoints on various topics, catering to the diverse interests of readers.
In my perspective, while traditional newspapers excel in providing reliable information and thorough analysis, online newspapers offer the advantage of swift access to events and information. The combination of both forms of media consumption widens the scope of available information and ensures that individuals stay well-informed in this age of digital proliferation.
In conclusion, while printed newspapers remain a reliable source of information, online newspapers are more preferred in this modern age. Embracing both forms of media consumption enhances one’s access to information and fosters a well-rounded understanding of current affairs.
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